Fire Always Burns

chapter 16

The flames died slow painful deaths as they starved for more. There was no more. The trees were gone, the grass was gone, the bushes were gone. It had nowhere left to go. The firefighters pressed on, determined to never let the flames rise again. They searched for any hint of flame. No glowing ember was left alive to burn. Shovels buried, water quenched, and eyes hunted. No quarter was given, no mercy to the flames. The fire must not be allowed to continue, too much was at stake to let it start again.

Andrew brushed the hair out of my face, peering down at me. His blue eyes stood out against the soot on his cheeks. His hair was a mess with streaks of black from where his dirty hands had brushed through it. The truck engine roared as Ray sped down the road. Andrew smiled down at me and kissed my forehead.

"You came for me," I whispered. It was easier to breathe now, but my throat still felt like I had swallowed lit charcoal.

"Of course I came for you. I will always come for you," he said tucking my hair behind my ear. My head was spinning. This had to be a dream. I was either going to wake up safe in my bed, or still trapped on the mountain by fire.

"But, you're mad at me. You wouldn't talk to me," I whispered. My fingers buried themselves into his skin; I was afraid if I let go of him, I would wake up. He felt solid underneath me and I didn't want to lose that.

"I was mad. But when I thought I might lose you, I..," Andrew's breath caught and he held me tighter. He cleared his throat and said softly, "I couldn't bear to lose you."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have told you everything from the beginning, but I loved the way you looked at me. Like I was perfect. You didn't look at me like I was broken," I said. The truck hit a bump in the road and I yelped. Andrew held me protectively, his face full of concern. I didn't know I could feel pain like that.

"Holly, I love you. I have always loved you. I wish you could see what I see in you," he kissed my head gently. "You aren't broken. A little bruised, but not broken. Well, maybe your ankle, but not your spirit," he smiled at me. I tried to smile, but everything was starting to hurt. Just breathing hurt.

"I thought I was going to die," I whimpered. He nodded and wrapped his arms tighter. I felt so safe in his arms. "All I wanted to do was tell you I love you."

"You can tell me now," he whispered with tears in his eyes.

"I love you, Andrew."

"I love you, Holly." He kissed me. It felt like life was rushing through me, colors and emotions overwhelming everything. I lived in that kiss.

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The truck slowed, and turned into the parking lot for the emergency clinic. The lot was fairly full and people were milling around the building. Ray came around and unlatched the gate, making sure Shadow was tied to the bed of the truck. She lay quietly in the corner on the driver's side, her dark eyes taking in everything. Andrew carefully handed me off to Ray; I felt like a small sick child in Ray's long arms as he carried me into the clinic.

The clinic was a busy scene of organized chaos. The waiting area was full of patients waiting to be seen. Ray carried me up to the desk, the smell of smoke drifting behind us. The receptionist looked up, startled, her eyes going wide. She stammered and handed Ray the patient sign-in sheet before running to grab a nurse. I rested my head against Ray's shoulder, watching the other patients stare at the three of us. My ankle hung limply, and as long as I didn't move it I could ignore the pain.

"Seriously Anna, what could be so important that...." Audrey's words trailed off as she turned the corner and saw us. Her face went pale, then red, then pale again. I just wished I could lay down and sleep. "Get them in a room now."

A woman in blue scrubs rolled up a gurney, and Ray set me down gently. I hissed with pain when he carefully moved my foot up onto the gurney. Andrew held my hand as we rolled toward a room made from curtains.

I caught my reflection in the glass of a picture frame and nearly jumped off the mattress. No wonder we had startled the receptionist. I had twigs and bark tangled in my hair, with soot and tears making a frightening mask on my face. Andrew and Ray didn't look much better, covered in ash and soot. Andrew was still shirtless, soot and my blood smeared across his chest. I almost wanted to giggle at how frightening we all looked.

Once in the curtained room, Audrey came in and hooked me up to the monitors and put a plastic oxygen tube in my nose. She relaxed a little as she asked me questions and found my vitals were steady. Andrew and Ray listened and added to my story as I told her what happened. Audrey gasped and looked back and forth at the two of them as I told her how they saved me. My own personal heroes. Audrey looked like she was debating strangling them both for risking their lives or hugging them for saving me.

The woman in blue scrubs returned with a plain white t-shirt for Andrew. Then, she shooed the males out of the room to let me change into a hospital gown. I felt better after laying down and not breathing toxic smoke, but still beaten and tired.

She was gentle, but I still held my breath as she maneuvered my torn shorts over my ankle. It was so swollen and painful that I yelped despite her best efforts. I made her check the pocket for my mother's picture. She handed it to me and I held onto it like it was a winning lottery ticket.

As soon as I was decent, Andrew was back holding my hand and distracting me from the pain. The blue-scrub lady brought me a warm washcloth and I wiped the grime off my face. It felt luxurious.

Audrey came in and started an IV, pumping drugs and liquids into my system. She specifically refused to look at Ray, focusing only on me. The drugs hit my system and I felt loopy; the pain was still there, but I no longer cared. Pain didn't matter anymore.

"Holly, we are going to take you down for an X-ray to look at your ankle in a few minutes. You doing okay for now?" Audrey said as she hung a bag of fluids above my head.

"I'm better now. Audrey?" I felt the medicine making me bold. I couldn't stop the words from pouring out of my mouth, "Why are you fighting with Ray?"

The room went quiet except for the constant beeping of the machine recording my vitals. It reminded me of crickets chirping after a joke. Everyone was staring at me.

"Holly, that's not really important right now. You just rest," Audrey finally said, patting my good leg gently.

"No. It is important. You two were happy and no one can give me a straight answer why you aren't together and happy." The words just poured out of me. Andrew squeezed my hand, and looked expectantly up at his mom.

"She's right mom. Doped-up Holly has a point. Neither one of you has given me a reason that actually makes sense. You say it's his fault, he says it's yours. So I want to know why you aren't together," Andrew said firmly.

Ray dropped his eyes to the floor. Audrey played with her pen, biting her lip.

"Andrew, this is between Ray and I. This is not the time or the place to discuss our relationship," she said firmly, her voice taking a chastising tone.

"No, this is exactly the time," I interjected stubbornly. "I saw fire today. Once you light a fire it has to burn and it doesn't care if this is the time or place. Fire either burns brightly or it fizzles into nothingness and smoke. Without the fire, there is no light. So, are you two burning or fizzling?" I demanded. I wanted an answer. Andrew looked at me and I shrugged. I might be confused from the drugs, but it had sounded poetic in my head.

"I'll be here, marking time for as long as you need me to," Ray said softly into the quiet room. Audrey's hand suddenly went to her throat as her eyes filled with tears.

"Ray," Audrey whispered dropping to her knees in front of him. He looked up at her, his smile shy and timid. He looked so much like Tyler that I wondered if their shyness was genetic. There was a sweetness in his eyes that I couldn't look away from. Audrey looked at him for a long time, her eyes searching his face. She started to smile, her eyes going bright like she had just discovered the answer to a difficult puzzle. "I should have said yes a long time ago."

She leaned forward and kissed him lightly. Ray's face lit up like the Fourth of July before he caught himself and looked at her seriously. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Audrey nodded and giggled, grabbing his hands. Ray's smile was the happiest I had ever seen. He kissed Audrey with so much excitement and emotion it was hard to look at them without being blinded by the light of their joy. I looked over at Andrew confused. He smiled and whispered into my ear.

"When Ray asked Audrey the first time to marry him during the band practice, she said no. That's when he said, 'Then I'll be here, marking time for as long as you need me to.'"

"You mean they're getting married? That's why they were fighting?" I blurted out. Audrey and Ray looked at one another and started laughing, tears rolling down their faces. I looked perplexed at the two of them, waiting for an answer.

"Yes, Holly, we're finally getting married," Audrey finally managed to get out. She kissed Ray's cheek and stood up smiling. "But, you young lady, are going for an X-ray."

"Can I go with her?" Andrew asked, his soot smudged face smiling. Audrey nodded and moved the curtain aside, stepping out to let the blue-scrub lady in. Ray's eyes followed her like she was the light of his world, a smile permanently carved into his face.

We left the two of them in my curtained room, holding hands and giggling. Andrew held my hand as the gurney glided silently down the hall.

"I don't get it. Why were they fighting?" I asked, my mind still jumbled by pain and medication.

"Ray asked Mom to marry him. She kind of freaked out. I asked her about it on the ride home from the amusement park. She felt like she was in high school again and like everything was going too fast and she was missing out on things. I think she just realized that by saying no, she was missing out on an even better thing," Andrew explained patiently.

"Oh. Well that makes sense," I said matter-of-factually. Andrew laughed.

"We should put you on this medicine more often," he chuckled.

"Why? You want your mom and Ray to get married more often?" I countered. The woman in the blue scrubs snorted and she and Andrew laughed. We had arrived at the X-ray room, so she helped me sit up and slide onto the table in the center of the room.

I lay very still, listening to the X-ray machine hum and chirp. I could see Andrew behind a plexiglass window, smiling at me. I closed my eyes and let happiness flow through me. I may be broken, but I was going to get fixed.