I slowly pull away from Jase and lean the top of my head against him as I stare down at my bare feet. I realize I have no clothes here, and I look up at Jase and say, “I don’t have anything to wear.”
“When the nurse called me, she told me to bring clothes with me. They are in my backpack,” he says.
I walk across the room and sit on the exam table, never letting go of Jase’s hand. I go into a haze when the nurse begins to explain each procedure. I just nod my head as I feel cold metal digging under my finger nails; I don’t watch anything in particular because I don’t want to see what’s happening. Everything feels like it’s miles away from me. She begins swabbing my neck, my ears, my mouth, my breasts, my thighs.
When I lie back on the table, she begins to take samples. My body is being poked and prodded—everywhere. Turning my head, I begin to zone in on a tiny piece of thread that is beginning to unravel from Jase’s shirt. I focus in on the tiny little holes that the thread used to occupy that are now hollowed.
I suddenly become very cold. My knees begin to quiver, and my heart is pounding. I look down and over my knees. I see Julia’s lips moving as she is talking to me, but I can’t seem to focus in on her voice. I watch as she opens yet another white envelope and pulls out a small black plastic comb. Jerking my feet out of the stir-ups, I clumsily shuffle myself back on the table and sit up. Pure panic. That is all I can feel. Panic.
“Enough!” I shout. I feel like I am losing control of myself, and I desperately want everything around me to stop. “Get out!” I yell at Julia as she looks at me in shock. I can almost taste the venom in my voice. “Stop touching me, and get the hell out!”
“Candace. Calm down, sweetie,” Jase says. His eyes are wide, and I can tell he is freaked out.
“I’ll be right outside,” the nurse says, and she quickly places the sealed envelopes in the box and leaves the room.
I draw my knees up to my chest. “I want to go home.”
“What happened?”
“I want my clothes, Jase,” I say as I look him straight on.
He doesn’t say a word; he simply walks over to his backpack that is lying on the ground next to the chair. When he picks it up, I see the door crack open.
“Candace, Detective Patterson needs to ask you a few questions,” Allie says. “Can I send him in?”
“Can she at least get dressed first?” Jase answers for me.
“Of course,” she says, and she gently closes the door behind her.
Jase walks over to me and sets the bag in front of me. Grabbing it, I walk into the bathroom. I pick up a hand towel that is folded up on the cold sterile counter and turn on the faucet. I soak the towel in warm water and begin to clean my face. I suck in a tight breath between my teeth at the stinging of the opened flesh on my face. I do my best to wipe the grime off. Taking a new towel, I pat my face dry. I slip off my gown and start putting on my bra and underwear. When I finish dressing, I walk back into the room, and Jase is standing next to some guy. He appears to be around my father’s age. He is tall and fit with short greying hair. He’s wearing charcoal slacks and a navy button up dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up toward his elbows. I notice a shiny gold badge that is clipped to the waistband of his pants. He looks up at me and takes a step forward.
“Ms. Parker,” he says. “I’m Detective Patterson. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?”
Shaking my head slightly, I ask, “Right now?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I’ve already told the nurse everything. Why can’t you just ask her?” I am so exhausted and am starting to lose my patience. I just want to leave. “Look, I don’t want to press charges or anything like that, so . . .”
“Ma’am, I know this is difficult, but there’s a good chance we can catch this guy and the fact that we have a witness—”
“What?” I interrupt him.
“Yes, they called the police.”
My mind is in overdrive, and I feel myself shutting down. “I just want to go,” I say, barely whispering.
“Well, if you change your mind, here is my card. You can call me at anytime, okay? You might find that you feel differently once a little time has passed.” He steps towards me, pulls out a card from his back pocket, and hands it to me. I don’t even look at it before shoving it into my pocket. He takes a step back and nods his head, “Well, thanks for your time.” He turns to look at Jase and reaches out his hand. Jase shakes his hand and gives him a nod in return.
As Detective Patterson is leaving, Allie comes back with a tray of bandages, ointment, and other small items I can’t quite identify.
“I’m just going to clean up and bandage these cuts for you, okay?”
I silently nod my head and return to the table to sit down. I watch her as she washes her hands and puts on a pair of sterile latex gloves. She starts cleaning my wounds and covers them up. Once she is finished, she asks me if I want to take the morning after pill. My eyes dart to hers as I quickly try to think if I really need it. I feel my stomach hollow out, and I suddenly turn cold. He didn’t use a condom. Christ, he didn’t use a condom.