Jase looks back at her and asks, “What’s the exam?”
The nurse picks up the same white cardboard box that I saw her walk in with. “This is the rape kit. There are sixteen different pieces of evidence we collect. You are in total control of the exam. You say ‘stop,’ we stop. I will explain each step as we go so you know exactly what to expect.”
“How long will this take?” I ask.
“It can take around four to six hours.”
“What?! No,” I say to her. I look back at Jase with wide eyes and sternly repeat, “No.”
“Candace, I really think you should do it. I get that you’re scared right now, but maybe in a few days you might feel differently about this.” He turns and asks Julia, “If she does this exam, then what?”
“If she decides to press charges, we will hand over the kit to the police. If not, we keep the kit here. If she changes her mind about prosecuting, then at that time, we will hand the kit over to the criminal lab.”
Jase squeezes my hand, “I’m right here. I think you should do this, sweetie.” I have never seen this look on Jase before. I know he loves me, and I can trust him. I nod my head, and I fight back the tears that are threatening to spill over.
“Since the doctor has ordered a CT scan and x-rays, we will need to wait until after those tests are run. When you get back, we will begin the exam.” She gives me a concerned look as she continues, “I want to let you know what to expect when you are taken for those tests. The nurses and techs will refrain from touching you as much as possible. I want you to try and stay calm and still. They will move you to and from this gurney by lifting the sheet that is underneath you. Okay?”
Nodding my head, I respond, “Okay.”
“The scans shouldn’t take that long, but your friend will have to stay here.”
I look up at Jase before looking back at Julia, and ask, “He can’t come with me?”
Shaking her head gently, she says, “No, I’m sorry.”
Jase assures me that it will be okay, and all I can do is trust him. But I’m scared to be alone, even if it is for a little while. Feeling like I have lost control is making me very upset, when Dr. Langston returns to tell me they are ready to take me back.
?????
When I am wheeled back into the exam room, both Julia and Jase are there waiting for me.
“You okay?” Jase asks as he comes to stand next to me.
“Yeah.”
Julia picks up the white box and opens it, pulling out several white envelopes and lays them down on one of the stainless steel carts that are in the room. “We are going to start by collecting your clothes, okay?”
“Okay.”
She walks to the private bathroom, and when she comes out she says, “Candace, I need for you to carefully remove all of your clothing, including your jewelry. I have laid down a large sheet of paper that is there to collect any evidence that may fall off of your clothes or body. Just stand on the paper while you undress, hand me each article of clothing as you remove it, and I will place each piece in a separate evidence bag. There is a hospital gown hanging on the door that you can change into.”
“Do you want me to leave?” Jase asks.
I grab onto his arm tightly, “No. I don’t want to be alone.”
Jase nods and helps me off of the bed. I clutch onto the wool blanket that is still covering me, and I walk into the bathroom. I hand the blanket to Julia and step onto the paper that is lying on the floor. I look down at my body and start to cry. My shirt and bra are ripped and hanging off my shoulders. I quickly notice that I am bare from the waist down.
I jerk around and frantically ask, “What happened to my pants?”
“The EMTs collected them. We already have them.”
I nod and look up at Jase as my body trembles.
“It’s okay,” he reassures me.
I slowly remove my tattered clothing and hand each piece to the nurse. The paper beneath my feet crumples with every movement as if it’s taunting me as a continuous reminder of the misery I feel. The last item I remove is my necklace, and I watch as it is placed inside a ziplock evidence bag. When I turn to pick up the hospital gown, I catch my reflection in the mirror. My body freezes as I observe the face staring back at me.
My left eye is bruised and swollen and the whole side of my face is scratched and covered in dried blood and dirt. My eyes are bloodshot and puffy from all the crying. I hardly recognize myself. I turn away from my image in the reflection, slip on the hospital gown, and step off of the paper.
I walk straight into Jase’s arms, and I let him hold me for a while as I hear Julia moving around the room. Jase rests his chin on the top of my head and runs his hands up and down my back. My arms are clutched tightly around his waist as I bury my face in his chest.
“Candace,” I hear Julia say softly, “whenever you are ready, I need you to have a seat on the exam table behind the curtain.”