Leaning down, I give her one last kiss holding her chin with my thumb and forefinger. “I love you, Arion LaSalle, and I promise I’ll marry you the day I get home.”
She smirks and nods her head. “Love you too,” she whispers. So small and fragile, her usual confidence stripped from within. With those sweet words from my one and only, I turn and leave my family. But I have faith in God that I’ll be back. I know now is not my time, he won’t do that do me.
“She knows that, Nate,” my dad says sitting on the edge of my bed. “She knows you never intentionally meant to upset her, this is just a lot for her to handle. She cried herself to sleep for the better part of a year when she thought you were dead. Then when she finally moved on, when she finally got a new life and her shit together, it all came crashing down.”
“But it doesn’t need to. She can come back to me, we can figure everything out. And Bain…well, I’m sure he has hundreds of women throwing themselves at him.”
“Nate, it’s not that simple. I’ve seen them together; I don’t think it matters who is throwing themselves at him, he wouldn’t look in their direction. He actually reminds me of you, and how you and Arion used to be.”
“What the fuck, Dad, whose side are you on?”
“Yours. Always. But I’m going to be honest with you about all of this—it’s not as easy as Arion letting him down gently then she comes running to you. There’s more to all of this. And for now, you need to give her a little space, let her wrap her head around everything. She’ll come around and you’ll get your time with her, I can promise you that.”
“I just don’t get it…why isn’t she ready to see me now?”
“I think she’s scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“If I had to guess, I would say her feelings and what that means for her, or maybe another breakdown.”
My dad’s words make sense. I know I’ll get my time with her, but waiting is going to be absolutely excruciating.
“Listen, you get some rest, son. It’s been a long day.”
I give my dad a hug and sit alone on the edge of my desolate bed. Then as I look into my closet, the glint of metal of my dumbbells catches my eye. I’m not even sure I can lift them, but I need to start making a change. Leaning over, I pick them up and figure I’ll at least try. Surprisingly, they aren’t too heavy. I get situated, holding both of them while balancing my elbows on my knees and begin to pump my arms. Right away, everything inside of them burns, but it feels so good to be doing this.
I know I’m not the man I was when I left, but I can get back to him, minus my leg of course. Minor point. I continue to go ’til I can’t anymore and drop my dumbbells on the floor. Looking down at my scrawny arms, I know it’s going to be a lot of work to get back in the shape I was in.
Rolling over, I grab my laptop and turn it on, heading for my latest obsession: Arion’s Facebook page. It’s the closest thing I have to being involved in her life. I’m not sure if she knows that we are still friends, but we are. I’ve searched and been through everything possible on here, but maybe today there will be an update, something that will give me a hint as to what she’s thinking. Unfortunately there are no new posts like I’m so used to seeing. So, I click on her photos and scroll through to find my favorite one of her. She’s looking through a window. The reflection of her is gorgeous, so perfect and pure. The glass almost makes her look angelic.
Staring at it, I pray that she will come back to me. I mean, really, how can she not? She’s just scared and I’m sure trying to figure out how to let Bain down. That has to be what’s going through her mind. Plus she knows that we belong together. Even though it pains me, she can take all the time she needs.
“Please, James, just get me one more day. Just one more day.”
He grumbles into the phone. “Jesus Christ, one more day, Bain, but that’s it. Don’t ask me again. I won’t let you jeopardize your career before it even starts.”
“Thank you, I promise I won’t.”
I hang up and go in search of Arion. She is right where I left her. Stark naked and gorgeous, soaking in our oversized bathtub.
“Hey,” I say as I begin to undress, she looks at me with an eyebrow cocked and then scoots forward so I can slide into the scalding hot water behind her.
“God, I love holding you in my arms,” I whisper behind her ear and lean us back together. She sighs heavily as do I, and then there it is, the awkward silence. I don’t know if it’s her or me, but it’s there and it scares the shit out of me.
“I talked to James,” I tell her, trying to spark up conversation.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, he said he’d get me out of practice again tomorrow.”
“No! I don’t want you to miss practice again. Not because of me.”
“I’d rather be here with you ’til I know you’re ready to move past all of this.”
“I’m ready.”
“You are?” I ask confused.