I froze. What the hell was he doing here? I couldn’t move as I listened to the two of them talk.
“Is Aly here? I just had to make sure she’s okay,” I heard Paul answer.
Ethan’s shoulders tensed and he stepped to the right to block me from Paul’s view. It suddenly hit me that what I’d just been doing with Ethan was what I’d been doing with Paul only a few days earlier. Mortification filled my soul and I put a hand over my mouth.
“She’s fine,” Ethan said curtly. He tried to shut the door, but was stopped.
“I want to see for myself, thanks,” Paul replied.
I knew I needed to get up and handle this, but I couldn’t move. Bile rose in my throat and I found myself running to the bathroom. Ethan’s head whipped around as I passed him and he took a step forward.
“Aly?” he asked, forgetting all about Paul.
I ignored him as I slammed the bathroom door and locked it. Hot tears were streaming down my face as I bent over the toilet. Dry heaves came, but nothing else. I knew I wasn’t sick, that it was just my frazzled nerves, but it sucked all the same.
I sat with my head leaning back on the tub when I heard the knock.
“Aly, angel, are you okay?” I heard Ethan ask.
My heart fluttered from the sound of his voice and I knew I was in trouble. I was falling for Ethan, my best friend, while I was still in love with Paul. How was this possible?
I grabbed a washcloth and blotted my face with it. “I’m okay, I’ll be out in a sec,” I told him.
“Paul’s here. He came in when you flew past me. He refuses to leave until he sees you.”
I unlocked the door and my heart skipped a beat, seeing the concern written all over his face. He didn’t say a word, just reached for me and pulled me into a hug. I went without hesitation and closed my eyes as he ran his hand down my hair.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t have to see him,” he whispered.
“Well, I’m not okay, but yes I’m okay, if that makes sense.” I sighed. “And it’s okay, I’ll see him.”
He chuckled a little. “This is quite a mess.”
“Aly?”
I turned and saw Paul standing in the hall. My insides stirred. I was in Ethan’s arms, feeling something for him, yet felt a pull towards Paul. I closed my eyes, asking for strength.
Ethan kept his hand on my shoulder, squeezing. I knew he was uncomfortable, not knowing what to think, especially after what had just transpired between us. I wanted to reassure him, but at the moment my head was spinning. I had to take care of Paul first.
“What are you doing here, Paul?” I asked him.
He took a step toward me. “You weren’t responding to my texts or phone calls. I was worried. I had to see if you were all right.”
I looked back at Ethan. He was scowling at Paul, but Paul wasn’t giving him the time of day as he kept his eyes on me.
“I’m okay. Obviously things are a little strange and awkward, especially right now. I really just need a break from the stress and you are a major part of that.”
His eyes clouded over with pain. “Can we talk in private?” he asked, looking at Ethan for the first time.
Ethan stepped in front of me. “No way.”
Paul jerked his head to him, ready to say something, when I interrupted. “It’s okay. Paul, I really need for you to give me some space. You don’t know how much you hurt me, how much you embarrassed me. Whether you meant to or not, that’s what you did.”
“Aly,” he whispered. He looked to Ethan again, then back to me. “Will you please give me one minute to talk in private? Please.”
Ethan stepped in front of me again. “No—“
“It’s okay, Ethan. I can handle it. I’ll just be a minute.”
I started to walk forward when I felt Ethan grab me. “I’ll be in your room if you need me, but I don’t like it.” He looked at Paul. “One minute,” then walked in my room.
I started walking again and heard Paul follow me. I got to the front door and stood by it, my hand on the knob. I looked up at him, signaling for him to continue.
He put his hands in his jean pockets. He did look damn sexy in them. He had a dark brown long sleeved T-shirt on that hugged every muscle on his torso. It was hard to stay focused.
“Aly, it killed me hearing you tell me how much I hurt and embarrassed you. You’ve got to believe that wasn’t my intention, ever. I made a poor decision with Casey, but it was the only thing I could think of to shut her up and get her out of there quickly. I see now that was the worst thing I could have done. And please don’t be embarrassed. I’m the one who screwed up.” He rocked back on his heels, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation.
“Yeah, you are the one who screwed up, but how do you think I feel? You slept with me then turned around and slept with someone else not thirty minutes later. That would be bad enough, but I had to hear it, Paul. Hear it! How the hell do you think that makes me feel? And you know what’s even worse? I screwed up too. I knew you had a girlfriend. I swore to myself I would never be that woman and yet I didn’t even bat an eye when you laid me down on your desk. I’m no better than you are.”
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. When he opened them, anguish showed. He took a step forward, but stopped when I recoiled. “Baby, it kills me that I hurt you so badly. If I could take it back, I would. And you are wrong, you are way better than me. Please know it wasn’t a hit towards you. You were amazing. You’re all I can think about and it was only to get rid of Casey, to shut her up. I’m so sorry.”
I felt my resolve start to slip a bit and that scared me. I backed up and opened the door. He had to leave.
“I need you to go now,” I said in a whisper.
“Aly.”
I shook my head. “I mean it. I need time, and I need space. I appreciate what you said, but things are still the same. You don’t have to keep checking on me, I’m okay. I’ll still be to work on Monday, but please, just keep it professional. I can’t be there if you are like this.”
He ran a hand down his face. “Okay, if that’s what you want. But again, I’m not giving up on you. I want you. I’ve wanted you for a while now and I don’t mean just sex. I want a relationship with you and I’m not giving up without a fight. I’m planning on ending things with Casey, whether you want me or not. I can’t be with her.”
My eyes widened in shock. I just stood there staring at him as I held the door open. He walked forward and brushed some hair behind my ear. “I just want you,” he whispered as he kissed my cheek then walked out the door.
My heart was racing as I stood there, still in shock. Ethan came out a second later, looking at me from the hallway. “Are you okay?” he asked.
I got it together and shut the door. I went over to him and hugged him, laying my head on his chest, needing his warmth, his comfort. Ethan had always been there for me as my friend and even though more was developing, I needed my friend at that moment.
He started rubbing my back. “Shh, it’s okay, Aly. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere,” he soothed. We stood there for what seemed like hours, Ethan just holding me, giving me comfort. I needed him so much and I was scared that I would lose him.
I pulled back and looked at him. “Ethan?” I started hesitantly.
He looked down at me. “Yes?”
I lowered my eyes. It was too hard to look at him. “Um, well, I’m not sure how to ask this,” I stumbled.
He lifted my chin with his finger. “Aly?” he asked, looking intently at me. “I don’t regret what happened between us and I never will. I’ve been waiting for years, and you know it.”
I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Thank goodness,” I said in relief. I rested my head back on his chest and felt the laugh rumble in his chest.
“Ah, Aly. You know I’ve loved you for so long, this shouldn’t be a surprise. The surprise is you, thinking I would regret it or run.”
“You love me?” I asked him, shocked.
He touched his nose to mine. “Are you serious? Yes, I love you. I have since we met. I don’t think I’ve hidden that, have I?”
I stared at him, having no idea what to say. He loved me. Did I know that? Maybe. I’d just never allowed myself to think that far.
“You don’t have to say anything back, I don’t expect it. I know you’re very confused right now, but hell yes, I love you and it feels good to finally say it.”
I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him gently on the lips. We didn’t move anything but our lips, and it was the most magical kiss I’d ever experienced. Ethan Baker cast a spell on me and I wasn’t sure I ever wanted it to be broken.
He broke the kiss and pulled me into his arms. “I don’t even want to discuss the future or what this means. I just want to enjoy this moment. I don’t know what Pierce said to you or what you’re thinking, but I doubt you would have kissed me like that if you were going to show me the door.”
I laughed. “I’m not showing you the door, Ethan. I was afraid you’d be running for it. I don’t want to think about anything, either. Just stay here and hold me.”
His hazel eyes shined as he looked down at me. “You don’t have to ask me twice. I’ll stay as long as you let me.”