I woke up the next morning to the sound of my phone buzzing. I groaned and chucked the phone across the room, not caring if I broke it. I just wanted one day, one day where I didn’t have to think about what was going on in my life. I realized that the only way I wouldn’t know people were texting and trying to call me was to just turn the damn thing off, so I got out of bed and picked it up. I didn’t even look to see who had so rudely texted and woke me up; I just switched it to off and got back in bed.
A few hours later a pounding noise awakened me. I opened one eye and tried to figure out where it was coming from so I could tell them to shut up. When I realized it was someone banging on my front door, I swore and got out of bed.
I stalked to the living room and looked out the peephole. I was not surprised to see Ethan. I seriously considered not opening the door until I heard him start to yell.
“Open the damn door, Aly, before I call the police and have them do it. I’m not leaving until I see you!”
I unlocked the door and threw it open.
“What the hell is your problem, Ethan?” I asked furiously.
He didn’t wait for me to invite him in. He just barged right past me then twirled around to face me, anger on his face.
“What the hell is my problem? What the hell is yours? I’ve been calling and texting you all morning and you don’t even have the decency to at least respond and tell me you’re all right? What’s going on with you? You’ve never blatantly ignored me before, Aly, and I don’t like it.”
He stood there with his hands balled into fists at his sides. He looked so cute in his jeans and plain grey T-shirt that I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Swiping a hand through his still damp spikes, Ethan glared at me.
“What is so funny? I’ve been worried sick about you and you’re laughing at me?”
I raised a hand up, trying to tell him I was sorry, but I couldn’t stop laughing. All of the stress from the last week was catching up to me and I was finally losing it. I knew I was annoying him, but I had to let it out.
He continued staring, obviously not sure how to handle me. I finally settled down and gained control. I looked at him and felt that damn jolt stronger than ever. Why now? Why was I finding him extremely attractive and wanting to shove him against the wall and kiss him like no other? Was I truly going crazy?
“I’m sorry, Ethan,” I apologized as I walked to the couch and sat down. He followed me and sat on the opposite end, crossing his leg over the other. I sat with my legs tucked under me and holding a pillow. I knew it wasn’t fair to avoid him. We’d been best friends for so long, but I didn’t know how to deal with things any other way. It was looking like I’d have to try, though.
“What’s going on, Aly?” he asked gently.
And there it was. Do or die moment. What do I say?
Well, Ethan. You see, ever since that morning after you stayed over, I’ve had some feelings for you, but I’m sure it’s just my way of coping with what Paul did to me so don’t read too much into it, okay?
No, of course I couldn’t say that. But I knew I was acting different toward him and he didn’t deserve it, so I just sighed.
He scooted a little closer and reached out a hand to touch my face. I couldn’t help myself. I turned into it and closed my eyes. I needed him more than I realized, more than he realized. I just didn’t want to do anything that would ruin our friendship. That would hurt me more than anything.
He caressed my cheek with his thumb and I felt the damn tears start to brim. One landed on his thumb and he turned my face toward his. I looked at him and saw the questions in his eyes. I was so close to closing the distance between, so close to kissing him. It hurt to restrain myself.
I didn’t kiss him, though. I just continued to stare into his beautiful eyes and realized for the first time that maybe these feelings for him weren’t just to cope with Paul, that maybe they were real and I’d had them longer than I realized.
He wiped another tear from my eye and leaned his forehead against mine. “Aly, you are worrying me. What is going on? And don’t tell me nothing because something obviously is. Please tell me.” He continued looking at me with his forehead pressed to mine, rubbing circles on my cheeks. It felt so good and all I wanted to do was rest my head back and enjoy it.
But, that wasn’t going to happen right now. I let out another sigh and pulled back from his hold. He released me without argument and sat back, waiting for me to talk as I readjusted my position on the couch.
“Ethan...” I started. I looked at the concern in his eyes and faltered. I wasn’t ready to divulge my heart yet, so I took the easy way out. “You know what I’ve been through with Paul the past few days. I think I’m entitled to behave a little crazy, don’t you?”
He regarded me, and I felt like he could see right through me, that he knew I wasn’t telling him everything. I stayed strong and didn’t look away from him, making my guilt that much more obvious. He leaned forward and said, “You’re lying.”
I felt the surprise rush through me and didn’t know what to say. He continued looking at me and I couldn’t take it anymore; I broke the stare. I stood up and walked to the kitchen, needing some space from him, but he got up and followed me. Just as I reached the fridge, I felt him grab my wrist and he spun me around.
“What is going on, Aly?” he asked, still holding my wrist. His eyes were intense and I could see he was losing patience with me. My nerves were beyond frazzled and I was losing the little control I still held.
I pulled my wrist out of his hold and turned back to the fridge. I opened it and pulled out a juice bottle. Tossing the lid into the garbage can, I leaned back on the door of the fridge and took a few sips.
“Aly,” he said in a low tone.
I held up my hand. “I know, I know. But seriously, I’m not lying. I have been thrown for a loop this week, Ethan. You know that. I think that’s reason enough to be off my game for a while. I don’t know what more you want me to say, Baker.” I looked at him over the bottle as I took some more gulps, trying to stall for time.
He took a few steps closer to me. “You are seeming to forget something, Chase,” he said, mocking me. “I’ve known you for years. I know you better than you know yourself, and I know you’re not telling me everything. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say something about me is upsetting you.” He took a step back, turning away from me, and running a hand through his hair.
I dropped the plastic juice bottle and swore under my breath. He turned back to me, surprised, and watched as I bent down to get the bottle and threw it in the recycling, completely frustrated. Ethan went over to the counter and grabbed some paper towels to help wipe it up. I grabbed a few from him and started doing the same.
“It’s my mess, Ethan. I’ll clean it up,” I said, harsher than I’d intended.
He threw the paper towel on the floor and stood up. “You are really pissing me off, Aly. One minute you’re my friend, leaning on me and talking to me. The next, you’re pissy and snapping at me. I don’t get it and I’m sick of trying to.” He walked out of the kitchen, leaving me alone and feeling like an idiot.
I finished cleaning up my mess and walked back out to the living room. Ethan was sitting on the couch, leaning his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose. My heart broke at the sight of him, knowing I was the cause of his stress. I walked over and sat down right beside him, leaning over and rubbing my hand through his hair, luxuriating in the soft feel of it. He kept his eyes closed, but I felt his breath hitch at my touch and that gave me the courage to keep going.
“Ethan, look at me,” I said quietly as I continued brushing my fingers through his hair.
He shook his head. “No, I don’t want to. I just want to sit here and enjoy what you’re doing. You’ve been driving me crazy all day, so it’s the least you can do for me.”
I gave a fake gasp and punched him in the arm with my free hand. A small smile appeared on his lips and he gave a little moan of pleasure as my other hand found a sensitive spot. I couldn’t help it, I tugged a little on that spot, and he finally opened his eyes.
“Why did you do that?” he asked.
“Just teasing you, Baker. Do you have time to wait for me while I take a shower? I feel pretty gross and would rather deal with you refreshed and clean.” I gave a little smirk to let him know I was giving him a hard time.
He nodded and closed his eyes again. “Sure, I could use the time to relax. Go ahead.”
I stood up, then leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you. Be right back.”
After I showered and brushed my teeth, I felt a lot better. I dressed in my comfy jeans and a pale pink T-shirt. I left my hair wet to air dry and only put some mascara and pink lip-gloss on. My eyes still had bags under them, but not as bad as they’d been, so I wasn’t going to worry about that right now.
When I walked out to the living room, Ethan was snoring softly on the couch, still sitting in the same position I’d left him in. My heart expanded at the sight and I couldn’t help myself as I sat down next to him, laying my head on his shoulder.
He moved a little in his sleep, and I stayed still, hoping he wouldn’t wake up. He rested his hand on mine and gave a little squeeze. I closed my eyes but they popped open wide when I heard him say my name on a sigh, “Aly.”
He turned his head so he was facing me and settled back into his nap. I reached my hand up and touched his face. Taking advantage of the fact that he was asleep, I sat back up and really studied him. I marveled at the feelings I had recently started feeling for him as I rubbed my hand down his cheek and lightly brushed over his lips. He twitched a little at my touch, but still didn’t wake up. I leaned over and lightly kissed his cheek, then bent lower and kissed his neck. I knew I was treading on dangerous territory, but I couldn’t help it. I had to touch him, kiss him.
I’d just raised my head from kissing his neck when I felt him grab my wrist. “What are you doing, Aly?” he asked me softly. My heart slammed in my chest. I’d been caught. My mind went blank and I had no idea what to say.
I stammered as he held onto my wrist, not letting me turn away no matter how much I tried. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into me. Please don’t hate me, Ethan. Don’t leave me,” I said as I felt my throat constrict and the stupid tears appear once again.
He looked at me, his eyes filled with tenderness. “Hate you? Leave you? Are you kidding?” he asked.
I stared at him, not sure what to say. I knew he’d had feelings for me in the past, but nothing direct had ever been said and it had been a while since I’d really felt that from him. The horror I felt was huge and I’d never wanted to get away from him more in my life.
I took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry. I know we’re just friends. I’ve had a very rough few days and I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me,” I said, wiping the tears from my face with my free hand.
Suddenly, he jerked me toward him as I slammed against his chest. He wrapped one arm around me while I felt his other hand hold my chin so I’d look at him. “Would you please just shut up?” he asked, crushing his mouth to mine.
Ethan moved his mouth over mine seductively, teasing me, his tongue gliding over my lips. I sighed at his touch and opened my mouth, granting him access. He took advantage and drove his tongue inside, swirling it around. Shoving my hands in his hair I returned his kiss, following his lead.
I felt his hands slide down to my hips and he turned me over so I was lying on the couch. Pleasure raced through me when I felt him climb on top of me. His kisses started a path toward my neck, leaving me breathless. I turned my head to give him easier access and he moved lower, reaching my collarbone. I sighed as I felt him kiss from one side to the other, back up my neck and reaching my lips again. I put my hands behind his head and pulled him closer, loving the way his kisses were making me feel.
We made out for what seemed like hours before he tore his mouth from mine, panting. He rested his forehead on mine and rubbed circles on my arms. I was completely stunned at what had just happened and even more stunned that I wanted more.
He finally lifted his head and looked into my eyes. “Are you okay?” he whispered. I looked at him and saw the concern, the fear. He had no idea what I was going to say, what I was going to do.
I ran my hand through his hair, then brushed over his cheek, feeling the stubble I loved. I was feeling so euphoric at the moment and I didn’t want to think about the consequences. I just wanted him.
“I’m fine. More than fine. What I want more than anything is for you to do that again,” I said, biting my lower lip, not sure how he would react.
He groaned and bent his head down, pressing his mouth to mine in another searing kiss. He licked the place on my lower lip where I’d bitten down, then sucked on it. I moaned in pleasure and pushed his head toward me again, wanting absolutely no space between us.
He lifted the hem of my shirt and started caressing me with his hand, giving me goose bumps. I felt him smile against my lips as he continued to touch me with feather-light strokes. I started to do the same to him, but his hand reached over and stopped me before I could touch him.
I whimpered in protest as he kissed over to my ear and whispered, “Not yet, angel.” He then went back to touching me, ever so slowly moving his hand upward. I tingled in anticipation when he stopped and moved his hand to cup my ass, pressing me closer to him.
I sighed as he traced my earlobe with his tongue, then softly blew on it, his warm breath making me shudder. I welcomed his lips back to mine when he started kissing me again. I tried to touch him again on his stomach, but he shook his head, once again putting his hand over mine and stopping me.
“Be patient,” he whispered. “Soon.”
I groaned in frustration and he suddenly sat up, bringing me with him. He straddled me on his lap, never breaking the kiss. He put his hands under my shirt again, rubbing up and down my back in slow strokes. He started to move to my sides, teasing me. My chest throbbed, anticipating his touch, but it never came. Ethan broke the kiss and set his hands down beside him. I pulled back, looking at him, wondering why he stopped.
“What happened?” I asked him. “Why did you stop?”
He looked at me, desire completely filling his eyes. “This is going so fast. I had to make sure you’re okay, that this is really what you want.”
I tried to pull his head back to mine, to continue our kiss, but he wouldn’t budge.
“I’m serious, Aly. You must know I’ve wanted you like this for a long time. My feelings for you have always been strong, but I know you haven’t felt the same toward me,” he said as he stopped me from interrupting. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve been fine with just being your friend; otherwise I wouldn’t have stayed around. You’re very special to me and I don’t want to lose you, especially if we do something you’ll regret.”
I blew my hair out of my face and got off of his lap, sitting down next to him. He was so sweet and I knew he was right. It was better to not go too far, especially right now when my emotions were all over the place.
He turned toward me and took my hands in his. “Are you okay? Believe me, there’s nothing I’d rather do more than what we were doing, but you mean too much to me to have casual sex. I want it to be meaningful, not just a quick roll in the hay.”
My heart melted and I leaned over and hugged him. I kept my head on his chest as he rubbed my back. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve him, but I didn’t want to lose him, ever. What we had was too precious to throw away, but what had just happened between us was more right than anything I had ever experienced before.
I raised my head to look at him, to tell him just that, when a loud knock sounded on my door. My eyes widened in surprise. Ethan turned his head to look, then back at me.
“Are you expecting someone?” he asked.
I shook my head. Another knock sounded, this time more insistent. I started to get up to answer it, but Ethan held me back.
“Let me go check, okay?”
I nodded my head and he got up to look through the peephole. I heard him curse as he unlocked the door.
“What the hell are you doing here, Pierce?”