“Have you spoken to your mother about this?”
I shook my head. “Our relationship is strained. Plus, she gives terrible advice.”
Luca nodded. She’d never really cared for my mother. Caleb told me once that she thought my mother was cold and unapproachable.
“Do you know anything, Luca? Has he said anything to you?”
She reached out and patted my hand. “No, honey, he hasn’t. But, he was like this once before, do you remember?”
I did remember. It was during his amnesia.
I nodded, slowly, not sure what she was suggesting.
“You brought him back,” She said. “Can you do it again?”
Her eyes were just like Caleb’s when she zoned in on you: intense, searing.
I wanted to snort. She was giving me way too much credit. The last time I had to drive Olivia out of town to bring him back. But, no one knew that except Olivia and me. What would it take this time?
“I don’t know how. I’ve tried everything.”
“What does my son value more than anything?”
I leaned back as the server arrived with our salads. I waited for him to leave before answering her.
“Family,” I said picking up my fork.
“Yes,” Luca agreed. “So give him one.”
I balked. Was she really saying what I thought she was saying?
“Children? You think Caleb wants to have a baby?” We hadn’t spoken about children since before we were married. I hadn’t even thought about the possibility. I wasn’t sure I even wanted them. Caleb was enough for me. Caleb wanted them. He always had.
“Children have a way of bringing people together,” she smiled. “Especially, when they’ve fallen apart.”
We ate in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again. “You shouldn’t have let him hire that woman.”
I choked on my food. “Olivia?” I asked.
Luca nodded. “Yes, Olivia. She’s trouble. Always has been. Keep the past in the past, Leah. Do what you have to do. I fully support you.”
For the first time, I wondered how much Luca knew about Caleb’s months of amnesia. Did she know something about the time he spent with Olivia? Had he told her?
I went home ready to talk to Caleb about the possibility of starting a family. Before the words were out of my mouth, he told me he was moving back to his condo.
“You’re leaving me?” I said, in disbelief. “We were happy … before the trial. We stopped working on things, Caleb. We can get counseling.”
“You were happy. I’m not sure what I was.”
“So you were lying to me?”
“You never asked, Leah. You close your eyes to what you don’t want to see.”
“Is this about the Prenavene? Those people who died?”
He flinched. “It’s really hard for me wrap my head around the decisions you made.”
“Did it make you look at me differently?”
He laughed coldly. “I knew when I married you, that there were issues.” He sighed and looked almost sad. “It made me look at myself differently.”
I didn’t understand. My father manipulated me. Surely, he realized that. What exactly did he mean by “issues”?
Twenty-four hours later, Caleb was gone.
Depression doesn’t even begin to describe what I went through. I’d lost my father, my career and my husband all in the span of a year. I curled up in a ball and wept for days … weeks. No one came. I tried to call my sister, but she hardly picked up her phone anymore. Katine was seeing some new guy and couldn’t be bothered. My mother moved to our summer house in Michigan as soon as the verdict was read.
I called Seth. I shouldn’t have.
Chapter Thirty-Three Present
I agonize over Cash’s phone call. I eat more chocolate covered raisins. I watch more Nancy Grace. I search the internet for pictures of cats with funny captions underneath. No one knows I like those; it’s a secret. Sam catches me.
“Are you kidding?”
I close my laptop. “You can’t tell.”
“Who am I going to tell? Your book club?”
“I have friends,” I insist. “And none of them read.” I’m pretty strung out on sugar, so I giggle. Sam raises his eyebrow. “And you’re proud of this?”
I turn away, hugging my knees to my chest. The Manny turns everything fun into a criticism. “No, Sam,” I sigh. And then as an afterthought, I add, “I used to read a lot … in high school.”
“Cosmo?”
He’s folding laundry — he’s always folding laundry. “Don’t you ever get tired of doing that?”
“Yup. But, it’s my job.”
Oh yeah.
“I read novels. But, then I got too busy.”
I ease a few more candies between my lips and stare at the muted TV screen. I got too busy fucking boys-I wanted to say.
“Sam?”
“Hmmm?”
“What was in that box Olivia opened on her birthday?”
He shakes out a blanket and folds it expertly into a small square. “Why do you care?”
“What if it was from Caleb?” I say softly.
He won’t look at me. “Cammie says it was,” he says. “But, I don’t know what it was, so don’t ask.”