Caleb came back to me. I knew he would. Not because we had something irreplaceable, but because I was true blue. I fought for what I wanted, and I drove his past out of town. She wouldn’t come back. I was fairly certain of this. She was too much of a coward. I knew on some level, when I found those letters and pictures, that she had deep feelings for him. A woman didn’t keep a box of mementos unless the flame was still burning strong. I used that to my advantage. I played on her guilt, and thank God, she responded. If she had fought harder, something told me I would have lost.
He retreated into himself after she left. I had to watch his heart break … silently. It was awful. I was so jealous I could barely breathe. He didn’t tell me what happened between them, and why would he? He was confused. I had no choice but to wait. It ground at me; the fact that he had obviously cared very much for her before the amnesia, so much so that the feelings were all there, even though his memory was not. It would have made for an interesting psychological study had it not been so incredibly fucked up. He stared off into space a lot after I put an end to their little romance. I could have stood right in front of him during those days, and he wouldn’t have seen me. I wondered what he would say when his memory came back. Would he tell me that she was a girl from his past, or would he pretend it never happened?
And then his memory did come back. It happened suddenly, on a Tuesday in April. I was at work when he called to tell me.
“Oh my God,” I said, standing up. I was having lunch with a colleague in the break room, but I wanted to go to him right away.
“How do you feel?” I asked, cautiously. I stepped into the hall for privacy. Would he mention Olivia? Was he angry?
“I’m fine,” he paused. “Relieved that it’s over.”
“We should celebrate. As soon as I’m done with work, I can meet you.”
He hesitated. “Sure, Leah. There's a lot I want to talk to you about.”
My heart fluttered. What did that mean? Now that he remembered who I was, maybe he wanted to move forward with me. I pushed the thought away. No use getting my hopes up for nothing.
“Okay, I’ll see you after work. And Caleb…” I held my breath. “I love you.”
There was a brief pause, during which my heart went to battle with my stomach for who felt sicker.
“I love you too, Leah.” He ended the call. I slouched against the wall.
He remembered that he loved me. I’d been waiting to hear those words for months. I started crying, and then I called Katine and Courtney. Katine was ecstatic, Courtney, not so much.
“So he just remembered everything … out of the blue?” my sister said after I told her.
“Yes, that’s how it works.”
“I guess I’m just finding it hard to believe that you can forget your girlfriend for months and then, bam! All of a sudden, it all comes back.”
“Can you just be happy for me?” I snapped. “We can finally move forward in our relationship.”
“What if he doesn’t want to move forward,” she said. My heart plummeted. He had said he wanted to talk to me. Weren’t those infamous breakup words?
“Courtney,” I hissed, “you’re really pissing me off.”
“I’m just trying to look out for you. The guy was having a relationship with another woman for goodness sake. Wake up, Leah. He’s not as perfect as you think he is.”
I hung up on her. Courtney was bitter. She’d recently broken up with her boyfriend and was taking it out on Caleb. I wasn’t going to let anything dampen my spirits. He was back, and he was mine.
I walked into his condo without knocking. Now that he remembered who I was, there was no need for pretenses. He was standing in the kitchen, drinking a beer, his hair still wet from his shower.
I dropped my purse and ran to him. He just managed to set his bottle on the counter when I launched myself at him. He caught me, laughing.
“Hi, Red.”
“Hi, Caleb.”
We looked at each other for a good minute before he set me down.
“How do you feel?”
“Fine … great. I just … there is so much…”
I put my hand over his mouth. “You don’t have to say anything. I’m just glad you’re back.”
Before he could argue, I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed him. He was surprised at first. I felt his hands on my arms, trying to pull me away. I wrapped my hands around his neck. I was being territorial. God knows what he had been doing with that woman. I needed to reclaim him, have him kiss me like he did before the accident. He didn’t. When I backed away, he wouldn’t look at me.
“Caleb, what’s wrong? You remember everything, right?”
“Yes.”
“I feel like you’re still treating me like you don’t know who I am.”
He walked away, went to stand at the window with his back to me. I wrapped my arms around myself, squeezing my eyes shut. Why did I suddenly feel so cold?
“You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?”
He kept his body stiff, but turned his head to look at me. “Were we still together? The way I remember it, you broke up with me the morning of the accident.”
I swallowed. That was true.
“The accident put things into perspective for me,” I said, carefully. “I almost lost you.”
“The accident put things into perspective for me too, Leah. It changed everything — what I wanted … what I thought I could have…”
I shook my head. I didn’t understand what he was saying. Was he referring to her?