chapter 21
The next day, we’re gathered in the gym waiting for training to start when Will comes in, looking smug. There’s a smile playing at the edge of his lips, but he does his best to maintain composure.
I remember his kisses last night, soft, yet demanding, and I have to look down. Kane comes in next, sporting a black eye and swollen lip. I think of how Will’s knuckles were red, like he’d been in a fight last night.
We’re continuing the hand-to-hand combat lesson today, only instead of actually going hand-to-hand, we’re using punching bags. I am grateful since my eye is lined with a dark circle, and my ribs are still sore from my last fight. It’s clear not everyone is happy with Will’s choice to use punching bags.
Drew is complaining loudly and refusing to take his spot next to a bag. “We’re training to become soldiers,” he emphasizes. “If certain people here aren’t strong enough to handle that –they shouldn’t be here.” He’s looking straight at me when he says this.
Will crosses the gym in three long strides and stops just inches from Drew’s face. Will towers over him. He balls up Drew’s collar in his fists and hauls him backwards, stopping only when Drew’s back thuds against a punching bag. “Strength isn’t just about force – it’s using your head, too.” He stares Drew down for several long moments. It’s completely quiet in the gym. I look to Kane, who seems to have shrunk back against the wall. Then I see the faces around me. This is the Will that scares them. But not me. I understand this side of him. He’s right. Strength isn’t just about force, which is the only thing that can explain how I’ve managed to survive here. My strength comes from doing what I have to do to survive. Like with the wolf. But someone like Drew wouldn’t understand that; he’ll kick you when you’re down just to show off his power.
When Will releases him, Drew stumbles back several steps, nearly losing his balance. Then he straightens up next to his punching bag and fixes his shirt.
I have to press my lips together to keep from smiling. I go to the end of the punching bags, next to Sam and her now constant side-kick Jake.
Once we get started, my punches do little to sway the bag. I try a kick. Nothing. Will weaves in out and between the soldiers, and I don’t want to disappoint him. I try another punch. The bag doesn’t even move.
Will stops behind me, and I can feel him studying my form. He places his hands on my hips, and moves me so I’m off center from the bag. “A good punch doesn’t start with your fist. You have to use your whole body: your legs, your hips, your shoulders, your arms and then your fist.” He closes his hand around my fist. “Step forward a bit with your left leg.” When I do, he pushes my fist forward slowly toward the bag. “When you throw your punch, your hips will turn.” He swivels my hips forward with one hand. “The power of the punch comes from using your entire body.” He presses my fist to the bag. “Make sure you zero-in on the spot you are trying to hit.” He releases me and takes a step back.
I can see that Sam has stopped to watch this interaction. My cheeks flame red. I straighten my shoulders and catch my breath for a few seconds. Then I repeat the moves Will showed me. This time when I strike the bag, it makes a satisfying thud and inches back from my blow. Will continues weaving his way through the soldiers.
But Sam is still watching me. “Excuse me … but what the hell was that?” She looks back and forth between Will and me. “He’s different, huh?” She repeats my words from last night. “With you, maybe.”
I dip my head and smile.
***
That night after dinner, though Will and I didn’t make plans to meet, I desperately want to see him again. I wait in the bunker until everyone’s gone to bed, hoping he’ll come for me. After about fifteen minutes, I decide to go to his room instead. I slip from the bunker and look out into the hallway. It’s clear. I sneak toward the administration wing, hugging the wall as I go, making sure to keep my footsteps silent.
As I approach an intersecting hallway, I hear voices. I stop in the shadows and listen. It’s O’Donovan and the gravelly voiced man. La Rusa.
“Why haven’t you taken care of the problem yet?” La Rusa asks.
“We were hoping to learn more about the subject, the inconclusive result and what it meant,” O’Donovan answers.
“And what have you learned? That’s she’s making a laughing stock of your entire program?”
“I’ll admit we haven’t learned as much as we wanted, but trust me when I say she won’t be around much longer.”
“Good. We can’t risk another humiliation. Not now.”
“I know,” O’Donovan says. “I can assure that plans are being laid even as we speak. We’ll make sure it looks like an accident. But you must understand these things take time to get right. And we will get it right this time.”
It’s like all the air has been sucked from my lungs. The walls of the hallway seem to get closer, squeezing me in. I don’t even dare to breathe. I grow light-headed from holding my breath.
“Well, the capital’s losing their patience, so your clock is ticking.”
“Point taken, sir.”
“Well, see to it then,” La Rusa says, his voice cold.
I cower into the wall, hoping to become invisible, but miraculously they continue on their path instead of turning down the hallway I’m in. After they pass, I hurry to Will’s room.
When I reach his door, I’m out of breath and shaking. I tap on his door.
After a second, it opens. He’s standing there in loose shorts and no shirt. When he sees it’s me, he pulls me into the room and shuts the door.
“It’s not safe for you to be in the hallways. What were you thinking?” he says, still holding onto my upper arms.
I can’t answer. My mind replays the conversation I just overheard about my own death being planned.
“Eve? You’re shaking.” He strips his bed of its top blanket and wraps it around my shoulders. “What happened?”
I’m still too stunned to answer. I’d always imagined that if I worked hard and survived these tough conditions, one day I’d get out of here. That was all that kept me going. Now … the alternative is unthinkable … there would be no getting out of here. Not for me. I think of my mother and almost collapse.
Will doesn’t press me again. He just pulls me to his chest, and I rest my head under his chin. He caresses my hair back from my face and rubs my back. He does his best to soothe away the tension. After a few minutes, I’m calmed enough to tell him what I heard.
We sit on the edge of his bed, and I repeat what I heard O’Donovan and La Rusa saying. Will tenses – clenching his fists – but doesn’t interrupt me as I speak. When I’m done, he calmly stands, walks across the room and punches the locker. The loud bang of metal bending startles me. He turns and stands in front of me, looking broken, like I’ve never seen him. It scares me worse than anything else. If he can’t be strong, there’s no way I can.
“Will?” my voice cracks.
He sinks down onto his knees in front of me on the floor. I lean forward on the bed. We’re nearly the same height now. In this moment, I just need to feel like I’m not alone. I fold my hands behind his neck, and pull him in closer. Suddenly it strikes me that Will may have already known about their plans for me. “Did you know?”
He shakes his head, looking solemn. “I’ve suspected they would try something, but no. Besides, I won’t let it get that far.”
I meet his eyes again. I believe him. I trust him. I lean in and touch my lips to his. I kiss him through my fears, through my pain. I try to forget everything I just learned, but when I taste the salty tears rolling down my cheeks, I know that won’t be possible.
We stop kissing and he cradles my jaw with both hands. Using his thumbs, he brushes away the tears on my cheeks. Then he moves to the side of the bed and sits down beside me.
“How much time do we have?” he asks, softly.
I shake my head. It doesn’t escape my notice that he says we. “I don’t know. They just said it would be soon. That the clock was ticking.”
He runs his hand down my back, over and over again, like he’s trying so hard to make it all better. “I don’t want you going anywhere alone, do you hear me?”
I nod.
“They won’t want a crowd, so promise me.”
“I promise,” I whisper. “Will, what are we going to do?” I hope to God he has a plan, because I can’t even think straight right now.
“You need to go back to your room.”
My heart hitches. I don’t want to be alone right now.
He continues. “And tomorrow you act normal.” He brushes his knuckles across my cheek again. “Understand?”
I nod. I know he’s right.
“Good.” He runs a fingertip lightly along the inside in my wrist, touching my chip. My pulse quickens. I hate this thing inside me. “They’re not normally watching outside of the outdoor assignments, but since you’re of interest, so I wouldn’t rule it out. We’ll have to be extra careful.”
I lace my fingers with his, knowing that he’s about to send me back to the dorms.
He softens at my touch. “I’ll walk you back. But first, let’s go see Rena.”
That was the last thing I expected him to say, but I instantly feel better that he has a plan. And I know he’s right. I know we can trust her. He pulls on a shirt, and we sneak out of his room, down the hall and stop in front of Rena’s door.
He knocks twice softly, then once, then three times. Rena opens the door, looking startled. We must have woken her up. She’s wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt that’s too big. Her hair is a wild halo around her head and she has sleep lines across one side of her face, but she doesn’t ask any questions; she just ushers us inside and shuts the door behind us.
I’m shivering again, and Will rubs my arms. He repeats the story to Rena so I don’t have to. Halfway through, she stumbles back and sits down on her bed. Her eyes stay locked on mine as Will finishes. When he’s done, she nods once. “Okay.”
“Okay?” my voice croaks.
“We need to get you out of here,” she says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.
I look from her to Will. Now I’m the one that’s confused. “I don’t understand.”
But neither of them answers. They seem to have forgotten I’m even in the room. “It’s more difficult now than ever,” Rena says to him. “Two fifteen-year-olds tried to escape over the fence last week to avoid getting their mindscans.” She stands and begins pacing the room. “They were shot and killed while scaling the fence.”
My fists clench at my sides. I know it’s what they’re training me for, but there’s no way I could shoot someone.
Rena continues, “There’s a small group of people calling them heroes. So the government’s tightened security at the fences. Rumor has it that several of the trainees here will be assigned to fence patrol soon.”
I wonder who they’ll assign and realize it’ll probably be my friends, taking away what little support and protection I have here. I need to warn Sam, Alex … Jake. But then I realize it’s pointless. It won’t stop them from being assigned. And it’d be better not to have them around when this staged accident takes place.
“Eve, how much do you know about the Medical Revolution?” Will asks.
At first, I’m too stunned to answer. What does this have to do with anything? But Will’s still looking at me, waiting for me to respond. I think back to what I learned in school. “Forty years ago, crime and disease had skyrocketed out of control, and a financial crisis collapsed the government. They could no longer carry the burden of caring for or locking away society’s sickest people, and technology made the mindscan possible.” I recite it from memory from my history book.
He cocks his side. “But how much do you know about what actually happened?”
I look at him, confused. “What do you mean?”
“When the Medical Revolution happened, there was an uprising – a group of people who didn’t believe in the new laws. They were stripped of all rights, their homes and their jobs. They escaped to the wilderness to live off the radar. The government was forced to erect fences around every town and city, to protect the Sleepers from the Radicals.”
“But they never taught us that …”
“No. Of course not. The government doesn’t even officially acknowledge the wilderness exists.”
“And the fences?”
He nods. “Yes. The fences are what keep us in. Hold us prisoner to what the government needs, in order to keep society under control and functioning peacefully.”
Only now, that peaceful, controlled façade seemed to be cracking – with people trying to escape, others failing the mindscan. I sit down on the edge of Rena’s bed, and she brings the quilt up around my shoulders and sits next to me, but my eyes stay locked on Will’s. “What’s on the other side?”
“You mean the wilderness?” Will asks.
I nod.
“I don’t know for sure.”
The words should scare me, but they don’t. A wanting wells up inside me – a yearning for freedom – to be away from the scrutiny, the tests, the control of this place; it’s more than I can bear. I have to bite my tongue to stop from asking Will to take me there. I can’t bring myself to say it out loud. Just the thought alone is dangerous.
“But why haven’t I heard more about the Radicals?” It’s strange to think I know nothing about the way they live.
Rena speaks this time. “The government won’t acknowledge they exist – they can’t. But they are there. More of them than people realize.”
“So what do we do now?” I ask, my voice trembling.
“Now you rest,” Will says, helping me to my feet.
He walks me back to my dorm, not leaving until I’ve crawled into my bunk. He gets the knife from my locker, slides it under my pillow and kisses my temple. “Get some sleep.”