We start to walk again and I wait for my answer. “No, sweetheart. For how this is for all of us. I hate that you’re hurting and that I’m hurting you. The deployment got pushed up.”
I stop moving. “You’re leaving sooner?” I thought we had another week or two. Time to mend a little, or at least find a better resolution than him stepping aside so my husband can have a go at this.
“Yeah, I got the call earlier today. We leave in three days.” Liam’s voice is resolute. You can tell he’s going into what we call deployment mode. They close off the world around them and start to focus on the mission.
The lighthouse is within view, and I still can’t respond. My mind is going a mile a minute with how to handle this. Liam stops me before we reach everyone else. “I want to see you before I go.”
I nod with tears in my eyes. “I’m going to miss you.”
Liam gives a sad smile, but before he can respond, Quinn whistles us over.
We head toward our friends right as Jackson and Catherine exit the lighthouse. Catherine is smiling, and then she sees us and her face falls in confusion.
She looks back to Jackson as he drops to his knee. I watch with tear-filled eyes as she clutches her chest.
“Catherine Pope, you’ve given me more love in the last two years than I’ve ever known. You taught me how to love again, how to be a better man, and how to forgive myself. I want to spend every day of my life making you happy. I will cherish you, protect you, annoy you.” She laughs as tears fall down her cheek. “I’ll give you everything you could ever want. Will you marry me?” Jackson’s voice is full of promise, and we all stand with smiles and love for them.
He’s gone through a lot of hell to get here, and I have faith I’ll survive just like he has.
Catherine falls to her knees and grips his face. “I will marry you today if you want.”
He holds her close and kisses her passionately. Jackson leans back and places the diamond on her finger and wipes her tears. “Tomorrow we leave for Hawaii.”
She laughs and he pulls her close. “Always so damn sure of yourself.”
“You can’t resist me, baby.” Jackson smirks and kisses her again.
We all join in their joy and hug the happy couple. Ashton squeals over the ring and the guys joke with him about losing his touch. I stand off to the side sharing stolen glances with Liam.
Fear that he won’t make it home consumes me, but more than ever, I’m terrified we won’t make it back to each other. There’s so much at stake for both of us, and six months is a long time. Part of me understands his need for a break, but I worry it will be too much.
Liam walks over after the group disperses. “Do you want to walk with me?”
“Sure,” I reply.
“I don’t know how this works, Lee. If Aaron weren’t here, I would be with you on my last night. I would make love to you and—”
“Don’t,” I lift my hand to stop him. “Don’t tell me how you would be doing things if he wasn’t alive. Because you could be doing them now, but you don’t believe me. I chose you. I came to you and told you.”
“And he’s living in the house. What do you want—family dinners? I’m doing the right thing by staying away. I’m giving you both a chance to figure out what the fuck you want.”
“He’s moving out soon, but I can’t just throw him out. He’s Aarabelle’s father. Jesus, he’s been tortured and God only knows what. It’s our home,” I try to explain to him. This isn’t easy on me or him, but Aaron has it the worst. Sure, he screwed up and there’s no going back, and at the same time I can’t be cruel. I know Liam isn’t asking for that, but I’m at a loss here.
“Your home with him. Do you get it now? It’s not our home. It’s the home you made with him. Where you share a child. Where I would come crash for the night on the couch when I would visit while you two did whatever upstairs. I’m always the outsider.”
I turn and fire burns through my veins. “I think you want to believe that. It’s easier for you to walk away this way. Make me the bad guy so you can deploy and carry out your life without having to worry about me. I’m not the bad guy here. None of us are. Aaron is moving out soon. He wanted to give me and Aara some space so we can adjust and figure out a life.”
“Did he tell you he’d let you go?” Liam fires off.
“No.”
“I’ll never know for sure, Natalie. I’ll always wonder if you really loved me or if I was just the consolation prize. So take the six months and figure it out. Know that no matter what, when I get back I’ll be hoping you’re there. If you are, I’ll marry you. I’ll do anything you want to prove how much I want you.”
My heart rate quickens, and I wait for him to say more.
“This isn’t about me fighting for you. I know you keep saying I’m giving you up, but I’m not. I’ll never stop hoping you’ll still choose me when this is all over. I just can’t watch you decide. I see the way he looks at you. He’s made it clear he wants you back. I never wanted to lose you in the first place.”
I grip his shirt and pull myself to him. “You never will.”
“I hope that’s true. You have no idea how much I want that to be the case.”