“Yeah,” I reply dejectedly.
“Seriously, this isn’t some movie where it’ll all work out in the end. This is ugly and raw. No one has the answers, babe. The thing is . . . there’s not really a choice. I feel like six months ago you made your choice. You let Aaron go when you allowed yourself to love again.”
She’s right. That’s the issue. I can’t go back not just because of the affair and the lies between us. But because I let go of that love. I forgave him. I found a place where I learned how to truly love and not have to see what I wanted. Will my love for Liam always be that want? No. We’ll struggle and we’ll fight but there’s no one else I want by my side. He thinks he’s giving me time to make the right choice. But he’s a fool.
Reanell places her hand on mine. “I know something happened with Liam, but you won’t let me in again.”
“He doesn’t want me,” I mutter. “He said he wants to take the deployment as a break. I need to focus on here, and he has to worry about the mission.”
“First of all,” Reanell’s voice morphs into her serious tone, “He does want you. You’re an idiot if you believe that he doesn’t, and since I’m not friends with idiots, I’m going to say you don’t. He wants you so much, but can’t you see how hard this is for him?”
“Of course I do!” I push up off the floor. “I see it all, and I’m the one who has to deal with all of it! I have to deal with Aaron, Liam, Aarabelle, and last of all, how I’m coping.” I throw my hands in the air and wipe my face. I will not cry. I will not cry.
She doesn’t get it. No one does. This whole damn situation is ridiculous. Aaron and I agreed he could stay here until Aarabelle’s birthday party. Then he’s going to stay at Jackson’s until we can make a decision. It was his idea to go there since the psychologist recommended we get a little space. His night terrors wake us with his screaming, he zones out in the middle of a conversation . . . he’s definitely getting better, but it’s a long road for him. But the worst is that Aarabelle hasn’t been the same, and he wants to allow us both some sense of normalcy.
“Is Liam coming today?”
“I don’t know. I can’t imagine he would, but he loves Aara, so who knows?”
“He loves you too.”
I scoff, “I don’t know at this point. He hasn’t called or shown any sign this is affecting him.”
“Sit,” she commands and points at the chair. “Natalie Gilcher, you are so much fucking stronger than you know. Liam is not the only man alive. If he gives you up so quickly, then fuck him. But I think there’s more there. I think he’s in pain and guys are idiots. They do dumb shit because they don’t know how to handle these situations.” She smoothes her hair. “Think about it. If he calls you, then he’s breaking his own rules. He’s giving in, and then he has to break you and him all over again. So . . .” I see the gleam in her eyes as a plan forms in her mind, “You make him break them.” Her smirk forms, and she raises one brow.
“How the hell do I do that?”
“You go upstairs and make yourself irresistible. He seems to have a weakness for red, doesn’t he? After all, you’re the host . . . shouldn’t you look presentable?”
I sit there with my jaw slack at her plan. But she’s right. If he comes in and sees me a crazy mess, it won’t help my cause. So I muster the strength I have left and stand. “Watch her please . . . I have some freshening up to do.”
Reanell smiles as I head up the stairs and decide he’s going to miss me no matter what.
I give myself a once over in the mirror before heading back downstairs. Thank God Rea came early. I made sure to wear my red dress from our first date. I have my hair in soft curls down my back, and I went very natural on my makeup, except for my cherry red lipstick. I’m not sure how to handle this. I don’t want Aaron to think there’s a chance in hell we’re getting back together, but at the same rate, I need to wake Liam up. Make him see that giving up isn’t what he wants.
I slip on my heels and head to see what Rea thinks.
“Holy shit!” Reanell says as she holds Aarabelle. “Sorry, I mean . . . hi there. Are you trying to give him a stroke?”
“If that’s what it takes. My mom said they’re on their way. I figure the mommy should look good, right?” I no longer feel sexy and in charge . . . I feel stupid. Maybe this isn’t the best idea.
“Do not even think about changing,” Reanell chastises as she walks over. “You own this man. Now remind him just how much.”