Liam and I are going to have words. His text message now makes sense. He’s giving up on us. After all we’ve shared and how far we’ve come. All the promises are lies, just like those of the man who stands in front of me.
“Had,” I say and stare into his eyes. “We had. You keep forgetting what we had is now past tense. Right now, we have a mess to clean up. Do you even want to acknowledge the fact that you were going to leave me for your whore?” I bite back the nasty retort floating around in my mouth.
“I’m not with her now, am I?”
“And if we don’t work out, will you go back to her?”
“Is that what you want?” he asks, watching my reactions.
I huff, “I can’t even believe you. You sit here telling me you love me, spouting off how we have a love no one can ever understand, but you can’t even answer me honestly once. Are you going to admit what your relationship was with her?”
His story has too many holes. There are too many nights I remember being alone or wondering. The times I pushed down my woman’s intuition and smothered it. Ignorance is a beautiful place sometimes, but I don’t plan to live there anymore. The hardest part in all of this is that I’m going to be the one to hurt Aaron. I was supposed to be his lifeline. Just as Liam has become mine.
Then I think about what Aaron said about him stepping aside.
Fuck them both.
I get a say in who I’m with, and they’re both going to learn that quickly.
“Who knows?” Aaron says and then shakes his head. “What is the truth anymore?”
“Then I’ll be sure to talk to Brittany tomorrow. She doesn’t have any issues saying what happened between you two.”
“You love my fucking best friend! She’s nothing compared to that,” Aaron’s voice trembles.
“How can you say she’s nothing? You were with her for a long time. You went to her many nights, didn’t you? What about the time you stayed with Mark for two nights? What about all the times I would call your phone and it would go to voicemail? The late nights you’d come home so tired you’d fall asleep on the couch. I remember them all, Aaron. Clarity isn’t something I’m lacking.”
He can play dumb as much as he wants, but he’s a master at deceit. I always believed he kept his work away from home, but as the truth unravels, it reminds me it’s a part of who he is. He worked to get information from others, concealed himself and the truth from those he had to. Aaron can withstand torture, injuries, and this to him is probably a walk in the park. I was a lovestruck idiot, hoping my husband was the man I wanted.
“Jesus Christ,” he groans and throws his hands up. “She means nothing to me! Nothing.”
“I don’t believe you. She sobbed and cried saying how in love you were, but you still can’t be honest.”
Aaron looks to the left and shakes his head. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Then tell me! Tell me the truth. You want your chance . . . this is it!”
His face becomes stone. “I told you what matters. I was with her more than I ever should’ve been. I hated myself. I thought I could stop, but I was too weak. I didn’t deserve you then and apparently I don’t now. But we’ve had a year that we’ve been apart. I can be better. I don’t want her anymore.”
Even though we’re not together it hurts. The word ‘anymore’ hangs heavy in the air. I’m the runner up. When he wanted her, he had her. Now, for whatever reason, I’m his choice but what happens when things get tough? When our lives aren’t filled with laughter, but we’re swimming in tears . . . does he go back? Too much has happened.
His hand extends, but I move before he can touch me. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“Understand? I can’t even look at you. I don’t know how you can say this is what love is. I need to leave,” I start to move back. “I’ll be home later. Or maybe not,” I say grabbing my purse. There’s no way I’m staying in this house with him. I’m hurt, livid, desolate, and more than anything, I’m devastated that Liam would cast me aside so easily.
“Don’t leave,” Aaron begs.
“Don’t lie anymore.” I grab my keys and head out the door.
Once in the confines of my car, the need to scream overwhelms me, so I let it go. I punch the steering wheel and scream at the top of my lungs. Nothing coherent comes out, just yelling, trying to cleanse my body of all the confusion. I look at the window and see him standing there. He watches me lose it in my car and the contrast between him and Liam is glaring in this moment. Aaron chooses to let me go while Liam would’ve been at the car already.
Speaking of Liam, I turn the key and back out of the driveway while my husband watches me leave to go to my boyfriend’s house.
The drive isn’t long, but it allows me the time to form a plan. I’m so hurt that he would just toss me away. We need to talk and figure things out. I’m not either of their doll and they can’t pass me off to the other. Aaron and I may be married legally, but he’s been dead for a year. He and I aren’t married in any other way.
I knock on the door and hear a woman’s laughter.