“I love him. I wasn’t just some girl.”
I turn and look at her. “Yes, you were. He didn’t tell you he was married. He never told me about you. The man you loved was a lie. I’ve known him since he was sixteen. I went to his senior prom, was at his boot camp graduation, married him. You weren’t his life.” I spew the words out.
“You weren’t either,” Brittany rebuts.
I wish I could argue with her. I wish I could yell and scream, but she’s right. I wasn’t his life. I was his wife who got pregnant and maybe trapped him.
Brittany wipes her eyes and rights herself. “I’m sorry. I should go.”
Reanell steps forward. “I know you’re hurting, but this,” she points to me, “Isn’t the right way.”
Brittany starts to walk away and I grab her arm. The words taste like vinegar on my tongue. I fight with myself whether to say them, but I’ve lost a child. I know the pain and how hard I held on to each loss as my own personal failure. Each baby that didn’t make it ate at me. “I’m sorry you lost a child,” I say as tears fall.
The tears she had stopped start to flow and slide down her cheek. She doesn’t say a word as she gathers her bag and leaves.
“A baby,” is all I can say as Reanell pulls me into her arms. “She was going to have his baby.”
Two weeks pass and I do my best to put Brittany and her bomb to the back of my mind. Liam has been gone, so it’s given me time to grieve the news in my own way. I’ve come to some kind of peace regarding it, although I don’t know I’ll ever completely be at peace with it. I hate myself for being relieved she lost the baby. It’s not something I’m proud of, but Reanell has been great with helping me understand my feelings.
This last training session was supposed to be three days, but they extended it to seven so they could get some shooting qualifications. I don’t miss this shit.
He came home late last night and had a lot to finish, so we agreed for a late dinner tonight.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Liam says as he comes in the kitchen with a bag of Chinese food. I can smell the yumminess.
“My hero.” I give a dramatic sigh and clutch my chest. “Did you get me an eggroll?”
“Do I get a prize if I did?”
“You get a kiss and maybe I’ll get naked for you.”
“Maybe?” he asks with a raised brow.
“Fine, you’ll get nookie if I get an eggroll,” I acquiesce.
Liam digs through the bag and his face says it all. They forgot the eggroll. Ha! I’m so going to make him pay for this.
“Eggroll, Dreamboat.” I put my hand out waiting. He continues to dig.
“If I don’t get laid because there’s no fucking eggroll, I’m going to kill someone,” he says out loud and I smile.
There’s no eggroll and he’s going to be upset. Oh, how I enjoy late dinners.
“Is that all I am to you?” I quip. “Sex?”
He looks over and grimaces. Looks like someone isn’t happy. “I’m not even going to answer you. I’ll be back,” he says and starts to walk away.
“Oh, stop!” I say laughing. “Don’t be an idiot.”
Liam’s arms cage me in as he leans down. “I’ll make it up to you.” His voice is full of promise.
“I’ll be sure you do.”
“I missed you,” he says as his lips barely touch mine.
“I’d miss me too.”
“And you say I’m arrogant.” He smiles against my mouth.
I smile back and kiss him gently. “I just know how lucky you are.”
He kisses me again and laughs.
We eat our dinner and fill each other in on our time away. I miss hearing the field stories. Things that happened and all the dumb things they do. Liam tells me about Quinn and the pranks he pulled on some new guys who checked in this week. I laugh and tell him about work and then I fill him in on my talk with Brittany.
“She was pregnant?” he asks with his jaw hanging open.
“Apparently. I don’t know what the hell to believe anymore. It’s all ridiculous.”
Liam pulls my chair so I’m sitting with my legs between his. “Are you okay?”
I know it’s not easy for him to shift into this conversation. I mean, here we are again, talking about Aaron in some way. Even I grow annoyed with it. The flip side is that Aaron wasn’t just some ex for me and he wasn’t some guy to him. There’s a lot of history for both of us.
“It was a shock. It was a big shock,” I say in a hushed tone.
“I’m sure, but that doesn’t answer my question.”
“I’m fine.”
“Oh, good. You’re fine again.” Liam throws his hands up and they come down with a slap.
I look up as I hear the chair grate against the floor. He moves away from me and starts to eat again. I sit here stunned.
“Why are you pissed?” I ask, a little pissed myself.
He drops the fork and looks over and huffs. “You’re fine? We’re going back to that? You find out your husband was having a baby with the woman he was fucking behind your back—and you’re fine?”