“Hey,” I say, pulling the blanket I grabbed off the couch around my shoulders.
“Hey, sorry I only had a few minutes and I figured you’d rather hear it from me.” Liam looks pissed and determined. He pulls the brim of his uniform cover lower, so I can’t see his eyes.
“Okay? What’s wrong?”
He kicks his foot and I can already tell I’m not going to be happy. “I’m leaving tonight.”
“What?” I exclaim.
“I have to head out for a few days. We have a mission and they need us to go.”
“But your leave starts tomorrow. We were leaving for Corolla,” I say and pull the blanket tighter.
He looks up and I see the resolution. He doesn’t have a choice. “I know. I’ll try to be back . . . they said it’s a day or two. If we can’t leave on Friday, we’ll go as soon as I get back.”
“I’m not taking off more time. I was having trouble with taking the five days.”
Liam steps forward and places his hands on my shoulders. “I know. I’m not happy either, but I have to go. It’s a small team of guys.”
“And you can’t give it to the other chief?” I ask, knowing he couldn’t.
Life of a military girlfriend. Job comes first and we come second.
“Natalie,” he says my name and he grips tight. “I have to be the one to go.”
“Okay, I mean, I don’t have a choice. I hate this. I’m pissed, but it is what it is.”
Liam pulls me close and his lips press against mine. He holds me tight against his body and keeps his mouth fused to mine. This kiss is desperate as if he’s memorizing me. His hands hold like vises around my arms. He doesn’t let up and I can’t help but think how this feels like goodbye. It’s like that kiss where you’re not sure you’ll ever have another one. I fight the urge to cry because I feel it in the tips of my toes. It’s hurting and I try to break away, but Liam keeps me against him.
Finally, he pulls back. My breath is coming in short bursts. “What was that?” I ask.
“I’ll see you as soon as I can. I’ll try to make it back before we were supposed to leave.” He brushes his hand across my cheek.
“Liam,” I try to stop him but he keeps going. “Liam! Stop!” I start to jog after him and he stops. “You can’t kiss me like it was our last and then leave like that.” I hold my arms across my chest and he turns and looks at me.
“I’ve never had to leave someone behind. I don’t know how this works,” he explains.
I haven’t thought about how this would be for him. He’s been single.
I step forward and wrap my arms around his stomach. “Well,” I say sweetly, “You tell me you love me and that you’ll see me soon. You kiss me tenderly and feel free to tell me how every minute you’re away from me will suck.” I grin and Liam’s arms encase me.
“Oh, is that all?” he relaxes a little.
“Well, any compliments will work.”
“How about this . . . every second I’m away from you I’ll feel like my heart is missing.”
“You can do better . . .” I smirk.
He looks behind me and chuckles, “I will think of you every moment of every second.”
“Better, but I could use a little swooning.”
“Oh, Natalie, love of my life . . . I will hold my breath until I can breathe the same air as you and even then it will not be good enough because my lungs will be dead.”
I laugh and pull him close. “Now you’re just being silly.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, more,” I say and lift up on my toes and kiss him. “Hurry back.”
He doesn’t say another word and releases me. I stand here and watch him get in his car. The sound of the engine makes me jump and I fight the tears. I won’t let him see me cry. He waves and I wave back as he drives out of sight.
I can do this. He’ll be back. I can handle it.
Days pass and I don’t hear from him. I should be in Corolla right now, but instead I’m working from home while Aarabelle is at the sitter. I hate not being able to hear his voice. The training missions were different because he would call.
Instead, now I sit and wonder. I worry that I’m going to turn on the news and see something has happened.
God, I didn’t miss this part.
I head out to the deck to get some sun. It’s still funny to me how we take this view for granted. I stare out at the horizon and get lost in my thoughts. My life is in a wonderful place. I have a beautiful daughter who makes my life worth living, a man who loves me and who I love, and a great job.
My family will be here soon and then they can all see just how great things are. Faith works in mysterious ways. A year ago, I was unwilling to think I could be here. I thought I was destined to live alone and sad.
I stand here looking out at the ocean, feeling a sense of serenity until I hear the sound of a car pulling into the driveway and I turn. The smile is instantaneous. He’s home. I need to lay eyes on him. I want to kiss him and hug him.
I rush down the driveway and see Jackson and Mark walking up first. They look at the ground and walk slowly as if they’re about to destroy my world.
No.
No.
Not again.