Or maybe less.
I laugh and grab my drink, giving me a few extra seconds and also giving her frustration a little nudge. “I’m happy, Rea. He makes me feel like I can do anything.”
“I’m happy. How are you with the whole SEAL thing and the thing with Aaron?”
She’s the first person to bring it up. She’s also the only person who watched me go a little crazy and shred his shit.
The truth is . . . I’m not sure how to handle either issue. Aaron isn’t here, so I can’t get answers from him. Liam is a SEAL, so I can’t do anything about that either. My choices aren’t really favorable.
“They are what they are.”
“You are a liar.” Reanell laughs and puts her head on her hand. “It’s me. No need to fool me.”
“I can’t do anything about either. I’m still upset about the affair. I was pregnant and he slept with someone else. We’d been trying to have Aarabelle for so long and I know it took a toll on us, but still,” I pause as it all comes boiling back up. “I can’t even pinpoint when things might’ve happened.”
The hair on the back of my neck stands. I can’t explain what has my senses heightened, but I look around, trying to see if I’m being watched.
“What is it?” Rea asks and looks around too.
“I don’t know, I just got a weird feeling.” I look around again but I don’t recognize anyone.
We enjoy our lunch and I tell her about Aarabelle’s birthday party. She laughs and tells me I’m going overboard, but knows there’s no stopping me. I want to celebrate where we’ve come in a year. Aara may not know the life she’s had isn’t exactly sunshine and roses, but she’s had a life filled with love.
“I gotta get back to work,” I say and put a ten-dollar bill down. “The guys are all leaving and I need to make sure everything is in order.”
“First, you’re going to sit here and tell me about the sex.” She crosses her arms and waits expectantly.
I thought I’d gotten away with it, but apparently not.
“I really don’t have to tell you anything.” My smile fades almost immediately when I look at the end of the bar and Brittany is sitting there. “I’m leaving,” I inform her and start to grab my bag.
“Why?” Rea looks and sees her.
Brittany looks over and stands.
Anger flows through my veins. I walk over to her and she averts her eyes. “Don’t look away. Are you following me?”
“Following you? No!” she says and goes to gather her things. “I swear, I don’t want to cause trouble.”
“What do you want?” I ask, because this is the part that still gets me. She wanted me to know about her and Aaron. She could’ve let me go on living my ignorant life, but instead, she made me aware. “I’m trying to move on from all of this, but it’s obvious we’re going to see each other.”
Brittany leans against the chair and sighs. “I want to move on with my life, but there’s a lot causing me not to.”
“I feel the same.”
“Look, I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t set out for you to find out, but don’t you see? I’m the same as you. I’m in pain.” She nearly chokes on the last word.
“I wish I could say I care . . . but I don’t.”
“I know you don’t care and I wish I wasn’t the other woman. I just don’t know how to move on . . .” she admits and her eyes fill with tears.
Reanell stands behind me and places her hand on my shoulder.
“Can you answer some questions for me?” I ask. I can’t even believe I’m entertaining the idea of talking to her, but maybe we can both find a way to move past this.
“I can try.”
“When did you start seeing him?”
She looks away and then back to me as she tries to collect herself. “We were together about a year before he died. We met at a bar and started talking.”
“Wow.” It’s as if I’ve been punched in the gut. He was seeing her when we were trying to get pregnant. “When did you find out about me?” I look at her and wait for the answer that has bothered me since I found out.
Brittany pushes her blonde hair behind her shoulder. “A few weeks before he died. When I found out I was pregnant.”
My eyes snap up and I fight back the nausea that threatens to escape. “Pregnant?” I ask looking down at her stomach.
“Yes, I was eight weeks pregnant when I lost the baby.” She looks at me with sadness in her eyes.
I grasp my throat and try to breathe. “I-I don’t . . .” I’m not sure what to say. “When?”
“I lost the baby a week after he died.”
And the hits keep coming.
So she would’ve had a baby with my husband. Awesome. After three failed pregnancies and countless months of infertility, I find this out. Each time I start to think this can’t get any worse, it does.
“I think I’m going to be sick.” I turn to Reanell and she pulls me into her arms.