An Act of Persuasion

chapterR TWELVE



THEY GOT IN THE CAR without speaking a word. Every once in a while Ben looked over at her, but her gaze was firmly fixed out the passenger window. It was getting close to eight o’clock and the sun was starting to go down, but they would still have enough light and plenty of time for her to see it.

It. What was it? It wasn’t a gift, or even something he’d planned to bequeath. Because it wasn’t something he had before he thought about giving it to Anna. He’d seen it after being diagnosed and bought it for her. At the time it seemed perfectly logical that she should have it.

In hindsight, given everything that had happened tonight, he wasn’t so sure it was the best idea to show it to her. Yet he felt as though he was losing ground, as though there was quicksand beneath his feet and he needed her to know that she’d been more important to him during those years together than she realized.

He had no idea how she was going to react to it though. Given her mood tonight she might think this was about the scariest gesture a man had ever made on behalf of a woman. But he owed it to her to show her.

He hadn’t seen her?

It’s what she said to him and it seemed almost comical. Especially after years of forcing himself not to see her. Years of telling himself her hair was too red, her freckles were too prominent, her smile was too big. Years of thinking how completely inappropriate in every way she was for him romantically. Years of putting her in the messy pile of life. A place he stayed very far away from.

And she thought he’d been completely indifferent to her except for a pair of snug yoga pants one night.

He could tell her the truth, he supposed. The truth he’d hidden from himself for so long. The truth he’d only recently let surface and openly acknowledged.

The truth that he’d wanted her all the time they had been working together. So much so that it required effort to convince himself how much he didn’t want her. So much so that it got harder and harder to fall back on his rule never to get involved with an employee.

He’d wanted her before that night and he wanted her now. But she seemed like she was desperately trying to pull away from him, while he was desperately trying to hold on to her. She’d shown up to his place with an agenda and it had nothing to do with giving them a chance at a relationship.

“So how long is it going to take to get there?”

“Not long.” They weren’t far from his home. Their destination was a couple of blocks away. He hit his turn signal and drove up the small hill of a street that ended in a cul-de-sac.

Five houses lined the circle with large yards stretching out front and equally large yards in the rear if he recalled correctly. They were newly built, but each one was a custom-designed home so that they weren’t cookie cutter in appearance yet still blended together in a way that suggested this was a single neighborhood.

He’d met two of the other home owners when he’d visited with the real estate agent. There was a middle-aged couple with grown children, one who still lived at home, and a young couple who had two children under the age of five. He, of course, had had no way of knowing then that having young children around would be a good thing.

“What is this?”

Ben didn’t answer her. He parked in one of the driveways and got out, circling the car to open the door for her. The sun was setting but, as he’d predicted, there was enough light to show what he wanted her to see.

Anna stared at the darkened house not understanding.

“You bought a new house?”

His tongue felt thick in his mouth. What had been such a rational decision at the time now seemed very irrational. Probably, no, certainly, he’d completely overstepped his position in her life. Which might not have been a problem if he had actually died. It wasn’t like she could have called him out for it once he was buried. However, exposing himself like this, while still quite alive, was much more difficult.

“I bought you a house.”

Anna blinked. “You bought me a house?”

He held up the key he’d stuffed in his pocket before leaving his place. “Want to see it?”

“You bought me...a house?”

It was hard to interpret her tone. Disbelief was probably the most distinguishable emotion.

“I know. I’m not going to say it’s not a little crazy—”

“A little crazy? It’s insane! It’s a freaking house.” She waved her arms at him. “Ben, I told you I wasn’t ready for marriage and, all of the sudden, you rush out and buy us a house? Was I supposed to be happy that you’re trying to buy me off with real estate? Is this some kind of massive bribe? I get the house, you get the baby... Wait a minute. This doesn’t make any sense. You already have a house. If I said I wasn’t going to live with you there, what made you think I would change my mind about living with you here?”

“I don’t think that. This house isn’t for us. It’s for you. And I didn’t rush out and buy anything. I bought it months ago.”

Her jaw dropped and he could see her processing the information. He figured it would be better to have the discussion inside. He didn’t know if her neighbors were nosy, but there was no point in taking the chance. He was fairly certain this would turn into a raised-voices kind of a battle. He didn’t want her to set a bad first impression.

He walked up the driveway to the front door and unlocked it. The electricity and plumbing he’d kept on not wanting the house to be completely devoid of energy. He’d programmed the thermostat to keep the house at eighty degrees and automatic light switches that went on at timed intervals. While it was still stifling in the summer heat, it was at least bearable.

Wordlessly, she joined him in the foyer following him as he pointed out the empty rooms. “The living room, a smaller den. The dining room. The kitchen and great room straight back.”

She stopped and walked into the middle of the empty living room. Hardwood floors and newly painted white walls.

He could see her taking in the crown molding, the light fixtures and the number of outlets along the walls.

“I’d been by here a few times as they were being built to check them out. I had been thinking about getting something different for myself. Then the diagnosis came and obviously I had other priorities.”

“When. Exactly.”

It was a demand not a question. “After the results of the first round of chemo. I wanted to make sure you were set up...in case anything happened to me. I wanted you to have a place to go. Something that was yours and not mine. I didn’t imagine you would care for me leaving you my house, but I thought something new, that was yours alone would allow you to take it. I bought it outright. The deed is in your name.”

“It’s a house.”

“It’s your home if you want it to be. I thought about telling you when you let me know the lease was running out on your apartment, but I was afraid of how you would react then. Not going to lie, I’m still afraid of how you’re reacting now.”

She turned to him, lifting her arms up only to let them fall listlessly at her side. “You did this. For me. Because you thought you might die.”

“You said I didn’t think about you or notice you except for that night. You said I didn’t know you. But you’re wrong. I know what having a home meant to you. You talked about it frequently. You said mine was an architectural mess and that a real home should be comforting and embracing. When you talked about having a house your face would change. Like it was this mythical thing you couldn’t ever imagine actually owning. I never understood why that was. I would tell you all the time I could help you with a loan for a down payment and help you with arranging a first-time buyer mortgage you could easily afford. But you never seemed to want to do that.”

She still hadn’t said anything. He could see the dust he was pushing around with his shoe. The place needed to be cleaned.

She stepped toward him. “I didn’t buy a house because it had to be perfect. I was waiting for everything to be perfect. Although I’m not sure what that perfect is anymore. Or maybe what I was really waiting for wasn’t just walls and a ceiling...but a home. A real one, with more than me in it. I think what you saw in my face when I talked about having a house was more about having a family. Someone to come home to. Someone who was mine.”

“You have a family now, Anna. Forget what you do or don’t see with me in the future. That little bit in your belly with the beating heart will always be your family. From now on.”

Her shoulders dropped then and great sobbing cries echoed throughout the empty rooms.

Oh, shit, he thought. More crying.

He reached out as if to pat her on the back but she leaped into his arms and held on to him as if she would never let him go. This, he thought, this is what he wanted when he’d brought her here. There was probably something ethically wrong with buying a home just to get a woman to hug and sob all over him, but he didn’t care.

“I saw you, Anna. Every damn day. I swear it. But I didn’t know what the hell to do about it. If I’m being honest, I still don’t.”

She looked at him and smiled, her face was a hot mess and tears still streamed down her cheeks.

“I was such a bitch earlier.”

“I noticed. The Bachelor? Seriously?”

She half sobbed, half laughed. “I’m scared. I’m really freaking scared.”

“I know.” He wiped her face with his thumb. “I don’t know of what, though.”

She shook her head and when he looked into her eyes he saw the fear, but also maybe something else. Maybe something like hope. Hope he could work with.

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

“I thought you said no pouncing.”

“Kissing isn’t pouncing. A kiss is just a kiss.”

She frowned. “Isn’t that from an old song?”

“Anna?”

“Yes, Ben?”

“Shut up.”

It was, he decided, their first kiss. That night didn’t count because it was all too blurry and rushed and had happened before either of them knew it was happening. Then that time in her kitchen he hadn’t given her any choice. It was something he needed without thinking about what she needed.

This, he thought, was two people dating who got to kiss for the first time. Something they both wanted. He could taste the salt on her lips and feel the soft plumpness of them. Everything about Anna was soft. He ran his hands into her hair to hold her head at the exact right angle so when he pushed his tongue into her mouth it was deep and they were connected.

It felt more right to him than anything he ever remembered. Better than that night, better than the last time in her kitchen. And he wondered if every time hereafter it would get better still. It seemed impossible.

Her tongue played with his, her hands on his back, her breath mingled with his breath. He could feel his body stretching forward toward her, wanting her, needing to feel all of her against him. What should have been just a kiss was about to become actual pouncing if he didn’t back off.

As he pulled his head away and could still feel the little pants of her breath on his mouth he struggled for control. In his life he couldn’t remember a struggle as intense. But she said she wasn’t ready for more and he wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize the fragile headway he’d made tonight.

“I should take you back.”

She nodded and he could see the flush of red in her cheeks, the glassy, unfocused look in her eyes. She wanted him, too. She wanted him the way he wanted her and for a second he wasn’t sure why he thought it was so important that he stop.

But the reality of the empty house intruded and the last place he intended to have a pregnant woman was on a hardwood floor.

Unless, of course, she was on top the way she had been that night, riding him, taking him deep—

“Ben?”

He jerked out of his thoughts and finally brought himself ruthlessly under control. Anna was still walking around the room, the sound of her flip-flops echoing off the empty walls.

“This is really my house?”

“Yes. When we get to my place I’ll give you the paperwork. You can move in whenever you want. With the mortgage paid, and your salary—assuming Sharpe isn’t a cheap bastard—you will more than be able to cover the utilities and taxes.”

“Move in to my house. Where I’m going to raise my baby.”

Our baby. He didn’t voice the correction because he didn’t want to upset her. Tonight was about her, not about the baby. While he was glad she loved his gift, and satisfied she knew that he had done this before there was even an idea of a baby, it didn’t change his strategy for their future together.

Yes, he’d given her this house. And he couldn’t wait to see her turn it into a home. Then he planned to attack it like a medieval knight, bringing down the barricades and storming the walls until he, too, was safely inside it alongside of her and their child.

“Since learning about the pregnancy I checked into the local school system,” he said. “It’s got an excellent reputation and there are also a number of well-reputed day cares not fifteen minutes in either direction.”

She held up her hand to stop him. “Yes, yes. I’m sure you’ve got a list of the best grocery stores with the highest quality produce and the best dry cleaner and hairdresser and all the rest, too. I just...I just want to take it in for a few minutes.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No. I want you to stay.”

Anna left the room and made her way back to the foyer and the wide staircase that led to the second floor. Four bedrooms, he told her continuing his commentary on the house. There was a smaller one next to the master bedroom that could easily be used as a nursery.

She sat on the stairs and he sat next to her feeling slightly awkward. In a way it was like when they had tried to sleep together. Both of them unsure and stiff together, compared to how easy it had been when they were working alongside each other.

Ben still wasn’t sure he understood when the situation between them had changed. He didn’t think it had only been them having sex, or even Anna leaving him. Something else had shifted and made them out of sync. Nearly discordant, and he felt helpless to put it back the way it was. To make them the way they had been before.

But for now, they were together and she had cried because he gave her a house. They had kissed again and it was nice. And she didn’t want him to leave.

It was enough. For now.

* * *

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I can’t paint?”

Mark walked into his office the next day to find his exasperated assistant talking into her cell phone like she was dealing with a slow child. Or more likely a very stubborn man.

“I’m on Google right now and it says nothing—” She stopped and Mark couldn’t help but look over her shoulder at her computer monitor. The first page contained all kinds of warnings about exposure to paint fumes while pregnant.

“Okay, fine. I can’t paint. Yes, yes, I’ll let you hire painters. But I’m picking the colors.”

Mark chuckled and made his way to his office. She’d left the mail there and the folders of a few cases that he’d recently agreed to take on. One was the death of a teenage girl many believed was a suicide. An anonymous tip, however, indicated differently.

“Hey.”

Mark lifted his head. “So how did date number two go?”

“He bought me a house.”

These two were definitely not on the traditional courting path. A proposal first, then dating, now home buying. Huh. “A little over the top for my taste—I’m more of a flowers guy. But what are you going to do with a guy like Ben.”

Anna smiled and sat in his guest chair, her hands instantly moving toward her belly, which was still barely there but growing every day.

“Can I talk to you?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

“I mean as a friend. I don’t have many and Maddy is in Detroit right now being fabulously in love with her fiancé. I don’t think I can talk to someone so happy with love right now.”

“Then you’ve come to the right place. I’m nowhere near happy with love right now.”

“What’s your beef?”

“Well, there was this charming redhead I met who I would have liked to get to know better. Sadly, she was already committed...and pregnant.”

She batted a hand at him, dismissing his heartbreak, but he had to admit it wasn’t all harmless flirtation. Leave it to Ben to snatch her up first. Leave it to Mark to be always a step behind.

A house, he thought. Ben obviously wasn’t taking any chances. Could there be a more perfect gift for a woman who had grown up in the foster-care system? Mark only hoped the gesture had been made out of sincerity and not strategy.

“I’m serious, I don’t know what to do.”

“About the house? Worried it’s a bribe?”

Anna shook her head. “That’s the problem. It’s not a bribe. He bought it for me months ago. When he was sick.”

Not strategy then. Just sentimental feelings. Ben Tyler with sentimental feelings. The very idea seemed completely unsupportable, but the truth was glaringly obvious. “He really thought he was going to die, didn’t he?”

Anna nodded. “You’ve never seen a man look so betrayed. When we got the news after the first round of chemo that the cancer was still there, it was like he’d personally failed at a mission. He was devastated. Not because he was still sick, but because he hadn’t successfully destroyed it. I should have known then that he would have done anything to beat it. That he would be willing to take any risk...just to win.”

That sounded a lot like Ben. “So let’s recap. You have a man who you say you love. This same man who bought you a house when he thought he was dying so you had somewhere to go after his death. This man who is also the father of your unborn child—”

Anna winced. “Yeah, I get it. I’m being stubborn and ridiculous. I should just marry him and make a home with him and raise the kid. Easy answer.”

“Anna, I wasn’t trying to talk you into anything. You said you’re being stubborn and ridiculous. Isn’t the question why? He’s been back in your life for a couple of weeks now. First, you were afraid he didn’t love you. Then you were afraid he only wanted you for the baby.”

“That still could be true.”

“No, it can’t. And you know it. Because he didn’t buy that house when you were pregnant. Isn’t that what’s scaring you most of all?”

She looked at him then and he could see an anguish that belied her normally easy nature. This woman had been hurt in ways Mark didn’t remotely understand.

“What if, in the end...he doesn’t love me?”

“I don’t see how that’s possible.”

She gulped and he could see she didn’t entirely believe him. Whether it was her fear of not being loved, or her fear of being abandoned after she committed herself, it had a remarkably strong hold on her. Why shouldn’t it?

Her parents had left her. A foster mother she cared about got sick and so she was taken away from her. Ben got sick and he was almost lost to her. Mark wondered if Ben knew how scared she was. If he understood the real reason she’d left him when he got sick wasn’t because he didn’t include her in his decision, but because she needed to leave him before he left her?

Anna was a woman who was lacing up her sneakers and getting ready to flee. Mark could see it. He wondered if Ben did.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’ve taken up enough of your time. This is my job and I’m sitting here talking about my love life.”

“You can always talk to me. We’re friends, Anna.”

She smiled halfheartedly and returned to her computer and whatever tasks she had lined up for the day.

Mark thought about calling Ben to tell him he needed to be even more cautious with her. Then Mark considered Ben’s reaction the last time he’d tried to talk to him about Anna. No, Mark was done interfering. Ben was on his own when it came to love.

But as much as Mark liked to consider Ben a rival, he was, in his own way, kind of rooting for the guy. Obviously Ben had powerful feelings for her. But if he pushed her too hard and went too fast—the home buying a case in point—he wouldn’t give her enough time to accept that what he was offering was real and permanent.

Anna wasn’t much better than a rabbit right now. And while Ben was holding up a really big carrot, and she was desperately hungry for it, one false step and she might decide she was better off without it. Safer, anyway.

Yes, she was pretty messed up. Because her earliest memory started with an epic betrayal.

Was this how Sophie felt? Had she felt that one of her parents had abandoned her at an early age because he wanted to be a spy instead of a dad? And now the one parent she counted on the most had done the most unforgivable thing and died, leaving her practically an orphan.

Of course, Sophie had her grandparents so she wasn’t living at the whim of the foster-care system. But what if something happened to them?

Wasn’t that exactly what Dom was afraid of and why he’d taken Mark’s phone call in the first place? He and Marie were too old to escort Sophie all over the country. Between his arthritis and Marie’s emphysema things were getting harder for the two of them, not easier.

Mark needed to fix this. Now. Or at some point in the future Sophie would be the one lacing up her running sneakers getting ready to bolt any time a man tried to get close. What if she never gave herself a chance at real happiness? Mark would always know that it was partly his fault.

Maybe he couldn’t save Anna, maybe he couldn’t help Ben. But Mark sure as hell could fix things between him and his daughter.

He picked up the phone and dialed the number he had committed to memory. Dom’s voice was instantly recognizable.

“I’m done playing around, Dom. I don’t care what she wants. I’m coming for Sophie.”