An Act of Persuasion

chapterR SIXTEEN



ANNA SAT ON the bed and watched as Ben shucked his T-shirt and toed off his sneakers. He’d worn shorts in deference to the early September heat and she admired his calves and the muscled bulk of his thighs. Then he lost the shorts and the underwear and she was admiring something else entirely.

For a moment she took in the sight of him. Tall and lean with corded muscles. His hair had grown in all over his body and she could see that he’d spent time outside without his shirt on this summer because his skin had a nice healthy glow to it. She knew he enjoyed swimming and had probably spent time at his club rebuilding both his endurance and strength.

Before the cancer, he had been a man who always looked ten years younger than he was. Now, as he recovered, she could see he was returning to form.

She remembered a time during the first days of his treatment when the impact of the chemo started to make itself known. She’d been kneeling beside him in the bathroom while he’d retched for what felt like hours but was really only minutes. When his stomach finally stopped heaving, he looked at her and she saw the fury in his expression. That his body had betrayed him, that it had brought him to his knees in front of her, his assistant. She remembered thinking that if his cancer was a man, Ben would have killed him.

Now, he stood in front of her naked, proud and strong. Like a warrior, he’d fought with everything he had. Ben was a man who vanquished his enemy, he never surrendered.

She should have had more faith in him. When he told her his plan to have the embryonic stem cell transplant, she should have believed more in the power of the man to overcome death. Instead, she’d run scared.

She wondered if he would ever truly forgive her for that. She could see now why he’d been so hurt. It wasn’t only that she’d left him, it was also that she hadn’t believed in him.

She should have. She should have believed more in Ben than in the cancer.

“You’re beautiful,” she whispered. Her very own original work of art.

“Men aren’t beautiful.” He ran his fingers softly over her cheek. “Your turn.”

Anna squirmed a bit under his gaze. Now was the time of reckoning. She stood and kicked off her flip-flops. She took off the oversize T-shirt she’d bought as a transitional maternity top.

Her boobs seemed to pop out and instantly his hands cupped them. “Wow. They’re huge.”

Anna grumbled. “They’re bigger, they’re not huge.”

“Anna, we’re talking grapefruits on their way to becoming small cantaloupes.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and instantly he recanted.

“You’re right. They’re barely there. I can hardly see them. It’s probably the bra.”

“You’re not making this any easier,” she said tightly. “This is the first time someone is seeing me naked and pregnant. Where before I was only...you know, naked.”

“I loved you naked. And I’m really liking the start of you pregnant and naked.” He pulled her hands away then slid his hands around her back to unhook the bra. It released its precious weight and slid off her body. The skirt she wore was a stretchy black cotton thing that clung to the belly she no longer could hide from him.

“I can’t wait to get my hands on this,” he said, pressing his palm to the bulge of her pregnancy. “I didn’t think it would be such a turn-on, but—” He slid his hands inside the skirt and her panties and started to push them down her legs in one inexorable motion until they drooped around her ankles and she kicked them loose.

He fell to his knees and rested his face on her belly. She could feel the scratch of his late-afternoon beard, but it didn’t bother her. In fact, it made her think of other places on her body where she would like to feel his cheek.

Sitting back on his haunches, he ran his hands over her bump, as if memorizing each curve, each ripple. He was totally entranced by her body.

There had been no reason for her to be nervous.

“Who would have thunk, Ben has a fetish for pregnant women.”

“I have a fetish for you. Seeing you like this, knowing it’s my child inside you... I never thought... I never thought I would have this moment in my life. Thank you.”

The sincerity in his eyes made her slightly uncomfortable. She knew she’d been ready to take their relationship to this place for a little while, but, for the first time, Anna considered how this would change things between them.

Adding sex to the mix would only make the intimacy grow and deepen. She would have to give more and more of herself to him and she would expect more and more of him in return. Only she didn’t know if he had more to give her. It was a big risk for her. Because she didn’t know what would happen after this night. But she sensed—no, worried, deep within—that she would need him even more.

He stood and nudged her gently onto the bed. She thought about where he might like to be touched and what she should do next, but he didn’t give her much chance to act. With his legs between hers he spread her thighs wide then he bent over her to kiss her mouth, plunging his tongue deep inside her as if he were announcing this kiss as something different. This wasn’t a kiss to claim, or a kiss because it was all she would allow. This kiss was the beginning of sex.

He moved from her mouth to her neck and began to find spots to nip and lick. Her earlobe, where her neck met her shoulder. Then her nipples. He didn’t give her any lead-up, preliminary kisses or any soft touches. Instead, he sucked a firm nipple between his teeth and pulled deep until she could feel an answering rush of wetness between her legs.

She thought again about what she read, how hormones and pregnancy could cause horniness, among other things. Irony at its finest, as far as Anna was concerned, that when a woman was her most round, she wanted sex more than ever.

But she was starting to believe the effects as touch after touch of Ben’s mouth on her body instigated a tidal wave of sensation throughout her. She wondered if he tugged a little harder on her nipples, then she might come from that alone, which had never happened to her.

It seemed they had only started and already she was running her legs along the outside of his thighs and tilting her hips to touch the hardness that was just out of reach of her body with the way his hands were braced on the bed beside her head.

“Ben,” she moaned.

“All right,” he grunted. “We’ll play next time.”

He shifted and she could feel the blunt head of his penis at the spot where she wanted him. In a slow, steady thrust he was deep inside her. She could hear herself whimpering, seeking another long stroke from the master, but she didn’t care.

Then he started to move and she closed her eyes and let the feelings all roll over her. She could feel the easy rhythm of his body as he plunged then pulled away. This was different from last time, she thought. She was more aware of him. More in her mind than in her body. She was thinking and feeling.

This Ben. He’s inside me. Oh, it feels good. We’re having sex and now it’s going to change us. We’re going to be a couple. We’re going to do this all the time.

A relationship. A real relationship.

Family...

As the words filtered through her body she found herself coming close to that peak that would take her to bliss. His hand cupped her ass and tilted her closer to him, allowing him even deeper. The pace of his thrusts increased but he was still careful not to push too hard or put any pressure on her belly. Her breasts were bouncing and, even in that, she felt a tug and pull of gooey heat rocketing through her body.

The pleasure built and the urgency of what they were both reaching for grew. She started to shake inside. The fear of what would happen when she opened herself completely and let him inside her life as well as her body began to take over.

Suddenly she had this crazy idea that when she climaxed, when he pushed her to that point, she would finally crack fully open and he would pour himself into all of those little open crevices and she would be filled with him body and soul.

She would never be able to separate herself from him again.

What if he leaves? What if he leaves after that happens?

The dark thoughts intruded through the haze of pleasure and she found herself retreating, tightening up. She needed to hold back. It was the only way she could keep herself protected.

Let him finish. Just pretend. He doesn’t have to know you got scared. He won’t know the difference if you cry out his name.

“Anna!”

His shout had her blinking her eyes open. His face was a tight, brutal mask of sexual ferocity. But it scared her less than her own thoughts did.

“Don’t you pull back on me now. Come with me.”

She closed her eyes, shut him out and reached for the arm that he was using to brace himself above. “Yes, yes. Now.”

But it was as though he could see her through her act instantly.

“Open your eyes and look at me.”

She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to see him, not when she was running away, even while she was in his arms. Even while he was in her body.

“Look at me, Anna.”

Unable to deny him the truth, she complied. He slowed his rhythm and leaned in to kiss her. She parted her lips willing to give him anything he wanted as long as she could hold on to some part of herself for a little more time.

He kissed her forehead instead.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. I won’t let anything happen. You can let yourself go.”

The hand that had been holding her hip shifted, inserting itself between their bodies. She could feel the brush of his thumb right on the physical spot that seemed directly connected to that inner space she was so desperate to hold on to. Then his hips rolled until she felt as though she was being screwed into the bed. The feel of him expanding inside of her while his thumb tweaked the swollen nub between her legs was too much. It pushed her over the edge and into the abyss.

Suddenly she was bursting all over and the sound of glass breaking around her wasn’t hard to imagine. He thrust again then groaned like a dying man who happened to be in a great deal of pleasure. Together they rode out the ecstasy until the sensation subsided from their bodies, leaving them limp and satisfied.

Carefully Ben pulled away from her. He lay beside her on the bed and arranged them so that he could hold her from behind.

She felt his hand drift over her damp skin and watched as his palm settled over the womb he was so enamored with. For a time their breathing labored before settling. She could feel all of him behind her. His furred chest. His body heat. His solid presence.

She could feel his semi-hard erection pressed against the back of her thighs. Wet because of their passion.

Grateful that he couldn’t see her face she let the tears leak from her eyes while her body and mind tried to assimilate what had taken place.

In her life she’d never felt so exposed.

No, maybe once. When she’d been standing in that noisy room with people all around her, bumping into her, until the woman in the blue uniform knelt in front of her. Anna had felt this way then. As if she had no control over what would happen next.

“Are you okay?”

She swallowed. “Yes.”

“You’re sure?” he asked, moving closer and pressing his chest more firmly against her back. She tilted her head in invitation and immediately felt his lips where she wanted them, a gentle suction on that spot where her neck met her shoulder that made her body want him all over again.

Too late. I’m done. It’s happened and I can’t protect myself anymore. Now, I don’t want to think at all.

His hands roamed over her body, down her arm, her back, brushing over her bottom, then smoothing along her thigh. She could feel his erection grow between her legs. And when he lifted her leg and placed it over his heavy thigh she knew that the first time hadn’t nearly been enough to satisfy him.

“Can I have you again?”

He was almost apologetic in his request. As if he couldn’t believe his desire had built again so quickly. But this, she thought, was exactly what she wanted. She needed to be completely mindless right now. She didn’t want to think about what she’d surrendered to him. She didn’t want to worry about what that would mean for them tomorrow.

“Yes. Hard.”

He chuckled then and his wandering hand settled on her breasts, cupping them. He pulled and tugged on her nipples so gently it seemed he understood how sensitive she was and only wanted to give her the faintest echo of pleasure without pushing her too far.

Too bad that wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want him to be sweet and caring and sensitive. She didn’t want him to put his hand on her belly where their child grew. She didn’t want to believe that everything he offered—this house, her baby and a life with him together—could be so wonderful.

“Now,” she said, tilting her bottom back and rubbing it against him until she could hear his faint moan. The sound of a man on the brink of losing control.

“Anna, baby, we’ve got all the time in the world.”

She could hear this satisfaction in his voice. Knew that earlier when he’d said they could play later that he imagined them romping in bed all night. Maybe even making love again in the morning.

Like any new couple might.

But in that playing she would have time to think. And when she started thinking, she knew, the fear would return. She was so sick of being afraid all the damn time.

“No, please. I need you now. Inside me. Please, Ben. Please.”

She could feel the words jolt him and, before she had to ask again, he slid into her. Once again, their bodies connected with such wonderful ease. It felt blissful. It felt mind-numbing. Exactly what she wanted.

That’s it. Take me. Take me hard and don’t let me think and don’t let me run. Just let me feel.

She rocked her hips into his and she could hear his muted growl in her ear. She knew what he wanted. A slow, leisurely act that would build up the pleasure in stages and drive them both into a long, torturous, wonderful climax. Like dessert hours after the main course. Deliciously sweet and satisfying, but not truly the thing that filled you up.

There was too much time in slow and leisurely.

“Harder.”

“Anna, we have to be careful.”

Careful because she was pregnant? Or careful because this was fast becoming too much for her to handle? Ben was curled around her. Ben was sliding inside her from behind. Ben. Not anyone else. Only the man she’d wanted for six years and now, suddenly, he was almost hers.

Almost.

She pressed down on him using a rotating motion with her hips that brought him high and deep within her. He clasped his hand on her hip, gripping her with enough force to still her, but not enough to bruise her.

“Geezus, Anna...what...”

She heard the question in his voice. This was supposed to be his show. After all, he’d told her how long he’d been waiting for her. He’d thought of little else but her since his recovery. He’d told her all those things. He’d given her that power. She knew he wanted to please her. She knew he wanted to bring her to those gentle but wonderful orgasms time and time again as some proof of how good her life would be like if she let him stay around.

None of these things mattered to her right now.

“What? I’m not allowed to move?”

She knew he would recoil at her words. The idea that he restrained her, controlled her, wouldn’t sit well with him. She knew he wanted to be in charge, but she also knew he wanted her to be free to enjoy it.

Maybe that was the trick. Maybe if she pushed him, taunted him and teased him, then he would give her the pounding she craved. If she could make him lose control, he wouldn’t be able to stop and she could get to that place she needed to be.

A place of mind-numbing pleasure. The key words: Mind. Numb.

Only this was Ben. Ben didn’t lose control. Unless, sometimes, it was with her.

“Of course...I want to make you happy—”

She angled her leg higher and pressed down harder. Reaching behind, she grabbed his ass and squeezed with enough force to show him the urgency she felt.

“Do you want me to beg? Is that what you want?”

Because she would, she thought. She would get down on her knees in front of him and beg him never to leave her. Never to abandon her.

No! Don’t think it. Don’t let the words form!

“Ah,” she cried, sounding like a woman on the edge. Maybe that would be the trigger he needed. To hear how truly frantic she was.

“Okay, okay. This.” He held her tight and pushed deep. She could practically feel him all the way through her body. “This is what you want?”

“Yes, yes. More.”

He complied, but even in his compliance he didn’t really give in to her desire. He didn’t slam into her. He didn’t push her so hard her head smacked against the headboard knocking all sense and reason and fear from her brain.

Instead, he pulled nearly all the way out of her body, holding himself at her entry with the head of his penis stretching her and making her gasp with anticipation until he pushed deeply into her. Then did it again and again. One full thrust after another.

No, he wasn’t banging her, or slamming her, or balling her brains out. But he was taking away her ability to think. All she knew was his hand on her breast, his hair-roughened thigh scraping against the inside of hers. His groans in her ears each time he slid home.

She felt the drag of his penis inside her. Relentless and unforgiving until her body contracted around him in this massive, gaping chasm of pleasure. Nothing had ever felt like this before. Nothing had ever been so consuming.

He shouted and she could feel the pulse of him inside her and the flood of his own pleasure filling her.

That was it. That was what she wanted. The way she felt now, she might never think again.

* * *

BEN LOOKED AT the sleeping woman sprawled across his chest, breathing gently. He thought he had her trust now, but maybe only because she wasn’t conscious. His body was replete and he should be asleep since fatigue weighed heavily on him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d made love with someone so frequently in such a short span of time. But after he’d come the first time, his first thought had been that he didn’t have her all the way with him and he needed that. He needed her totally and unconditionally with him.

He thought the sex started okay. But at some point, he could tell, she’d tried to pull away and he had no idea why that would be. She was the one who had instigated their lovemaking. She said she was ready for it. He’d sensed that about her all day long. The way she reached out to touch him first. The way she turned to him, time and again, seeking him.

Yet while they were naked and giving each other pleasure, it was as though her brain took over for her body and, while she didn’t tell him to stop, he sensed she had mentally separated herself from the act. She didn’t look at him and, for a moment, he could actually see her faking her responses.

Ben couldn’t have that. If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t completely sure why that was. It wasn’t only a masculine pride thing, it went way beyond that. He needed her to belong to him. Even in his own heart that sounded somewhat barbaric, but it was the truth.

When he’d started this process to woo her and convince her to marry him, his goals had been simple. He wanted Anna and the child in his life. It was a logical thing to want. She was carrying his only child. She and he were obviously compatible. A marriage with a child between them would only make them more so. Emotions hadn’t come into play.

Now, however, the more he tried to tug her close, the more he could feel her trying to pull away. Not because she didn’t want him—what they did together in bed showed him the level of her desire for him. Even if she’d wanted to fake an orgasm, she couldn’t because he set off all her sexual triggers.

But she was obviously afraid of something, or fighting something and withholding because of that. He needed to overcome that. He needed to show her what their life could be like and that there was nothing to fear from him.

It wasn’t only about what he saw as their future together. It was about her and wanting all of her.

He was sure the something holding her back was her past. That experience of being abandoned probably drove her fear. It made her cagey and elusive even when she craved having someone close.

Ben considered what he’d learned about her parents and wondered if he shouldn’t tell her the truth now. Although he thought about why he’d held on to the information this long and decided now was absolutely the wrong time. He needed more time with her like this, more time to overcome her fears without adding to them. With every weapon at his disposal he needed to bond her to him completely. So the idea of her life without him in it wouldn’t make sense.

Once she was truly his, then he would tell her everything.