Pickup Lessons By Lisa Scott
Stone Kinney crouched behind a rack of clearance evening gowns while setting his sights on the blond woman fingering bottles at the perfume counter. She bit her lush lower lip as she considered the choices. The word “stalker” occurred to him as he watched her, but he reminded himself that all the dating books had advised finding women where they congregated. The perfume counter was like a watering hole in the African savannah, and he was merely observing the gathering. And besides, it’s not like he was staking out the lingerie section. That would have been much more menacing than peeping at the cosmetics department.
But the women perusing perfumes weren’t much friendlier than wild animals stopping for a drink. The last two prospects he’d approached had swung their shopping bags at him. He’d have the bruises the next day to prove it. They must’ve just purchased hand weights. Or rocks. Two others had sprinted toward the food court when he emerged from behind the gowns with a friendly grin. Another had spritzed him with the tester—right in the eyes. If he hadn’t been so annoyed, he would’ve been impressed with her aim.
The books had all made it sound much easier than this. Not one of them had mentioned needing self-defense moves while trying to meet a woman at the mall. He’d even worn argyle socks so he’d seem perfectly harmless; he had a drawer full of them to choose from.
He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. Maybe social awkwardness couldn’t be overcome, after all. That should’ve been his dissertation instead of “Macroscopic Quantum Mechanics In Theoretical Astrophysics.” How the hell was that going to help him get a date? It was as if he’d bent his head to start reading sophomore year in high school and now only looked up ten years later. He had a lot of dating to catch up on and little experience how to do it. His one and only girlfriend, Susan, had been consumed with her work on protozoa. Seriously, she found a single cell organism more interesting than him? Then she’d dumped him for her microbiology professor. Now here he was with a new Ph.D., no job prospects, and no girlfriend. With the job search stalled, Stone decided to focus his attention on the female problem. After years with his head literally in the stars, it was time to get his feet back on the ground, argyle socks or not.
“Excuse me,” he said, approaching the blonde. “I want to pick out a perfume for my sister’s birthday. Any suggestions?”
She cocked her head and squinted at him. “What’s wrong with your eyes? They’re all red and swollen.”
He cleared his throat, wondering if he'd get sympathy points for telling her about the tester fiasco. Probably not. “Allergies. Insanely bad allergies.”
“In January?”
“Weird, right? Maybe I’m just sensitive.” He let that hang there for a reaction, but only got a stare. Guess she doesn’t like the sensitive type.
He rocked back on his heels. “So, any perfume suggestions from a beautiful woman such as yourself?”
Adjusting her purse, she frowned. “Are you sure your sister wears perfume?”
He shrugged. “She always smells great. Real sexy.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t mean she’s sexy. She’s not at all. Not my sister, no.” He wrinkled his nose and shook his head. “It’s just that it creates an incredible chemical reaction with her pheromones.”
The blonde blinked at him and backed away. “Yeah. I’ve got to go…”
This is what you get for putting school ahead of women, he thought to himself. His priorities had been all out of whack. Sighing, he was ready to retreat behind a rack of burgundy ball gowns to regroup and suffer through more sappy overhead music, when he spotted a cute brunette on the other side of the counter.
He loosened his shoulders and bounced on his toes, then walked over with an easy-going smile. At least he hoped it was. One of the books had advised him to appear approachable, and he’d practiced several different expressions in the mirror to achieve the right look—although the difference between his look of nausea and nice-to-meet-you was subtle at best. He tapped the woman on the shoulder and she jumped.
“Excuse me,” he said. “I’m shopping for my sister’s birthday and I’d like to buy perfume for her. Any good ones you could recommend? You look like you smell nice.” He cleared his throat. “You know, from an evolutionary standpoint, with your thick shiny hair and full hips, your scent is bound to be attractive as well.”
“Uh-huh.” She scrunched her brows together and looked down. “Um, perfume’s kind of a personal thing.” She smoothed her hand over her hips and frowned. Then she crossed her arms.
“There has to be one popular with hot women like you.” He’d been trying to learn how to read body language, and he knew that crossed arms were not a move meant to boost the bust. It was usually a bad sign. At least that’s what the book on body language had said.
“Why don’t you ask the saleswoman for a suggestion?” She wrinkled her nose. “She looks like she smells nice, too. Although I haven’t seen her hips.” She picked up her shopping bags and walked off.
He gritted his teeth, then hollered after her. “Today’s the Pro Bowl! Don’t I get points for shopping on the biggest sports day of the year? For my sister’s birthday?” It was stupid to holler after her while she was walking away. That was an even worse non-verbal cue than the arm cross, but he was getting frustrated.
“You don’t even have a sister, do you?”
He turned around to see who was talking to him. It was the attractive saleswoman he’d been watching all afternoon. Her dark brown hair seemed impossibly long and silky. This was the first time she hadn’t been busy helping someone or else he would’ve approached her, too. “What makes you say I don’t have a sister?” He didn’t. But how would she know that?
The woman put a hand on her hip. “I’ve never met a guy who bought perfume for his sister. I have three brothers; they’re never that thoughtful. And what’s this Pro Bowl business?”
He toyed with the cap on a perfume bottle, knocking it over. She snatched it from him and he shoved his hands in his pockets. “I thought it would impress women that I was shopping on the biggest sports day of the year. Like I have my priorities straight. So, I’d come across smart, yet sensitive, with my argyle socks.” He lifted up his leg to show her.
She blinked. “You’re not kidding, are you?”
He forced himself to look away because her breasts were mesmerizing in that tight, red sweater. “I don’t like sports, I thought it was a plus.”
She laughed. “First of all, argyle socks are lame. And secondly, the Pro Bowl is in a week. Today is the championship games which I am missing even though New England’s in it!” She took a deep breath. “Third of all, no one watches the Pro Bowl—the biggest game of the year is the Super Bowl. And even if you were out here on Super Bowl Sunday, that’s a desperate, devious ploy.”
“I’d call it creative.”
“Coy at best. Besides, some women like sports. I’ll have my butt in a barstool on Super Bowl Sunday. Maybe your sister will, too?”
He gave a nervous laugh. “You a big NFL fan?” He held up a finger. “Wait. I don’t mean that you’re big. You’re not big at all. You’re quite a nice size. I’m sure I could fit my hands around—”
“I’m a huge fan.” She crossed her arms and glared at him.
He gulped. “You follow your college team, too?” Maybe he could strike up a better conversation than discussing the size of her waist.
She studied her nails. “I didn’t go to college,” she said softly.
Damn. He’d embarrassed her. How did the wrong thing always crawl up his throat and jump out of his mouth? “So, you’ve been listening to me all day?”
“I’ve been stuck back here working. It was hard to avoid.” Turning around, she plucked a few boxes from the shelf behind her and put them in a cupboard below. “You’ve been annoying my customers. I should’ve called security to have you removed, but I was too curious to see whether or not any of your moves would pan out.”
He spread his arms wide. “Well, as you can see, none of them are working.”
She straightened the collection of bottles on the counter. “Why don’t you just try bars, like a normal guy? Or the gym. You look like you work out.”
A smile split his face at that comment, but she held up both hands. “Simmer down. I’m just wondering why you’re desperate enough to be trolling the perfume counter at the mall on what you thought was the biggest sports day of the year.”
That was one way to kill a grin. “I needed a new strategy.”
“And you were going to stay here until it worked?”
“The books I’ve been reading said goals are important in the dating world. So, I set a goal to approach ten women. I have three more to go. Two, if I count you.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose. More bad body language. “Please tell me the names of the books you’re reading.”
“Can’t say I’d recommend them. They’re not really helping.”
She set her hands on the counter and gave him a great big fake smile. “I don’t want to read them; I want to be sure any potential dates haven’t read them. I’ll put it on my screening survey.”
“Hey, good idea. You survey your dates?”
“You’ve inspired me to start.”
He sighed. “Sorry. I push too hard. My ex, Susan, always told me that.”
“Why does someone like you need to be trolling for dates?”
“Someone like me?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. You must know you’re attractive.”
He shrugged and prayed he wasn’t blushing. He was pretty sure guys shouldn’t be seen blushing. “I was always busy with my studies, you know, long nights at the lab. I’m a late bloomer. I don’t have experience being attractive. Susan was my one and only girlfriend since junior year in college. She didn’t exactly go on and on about my looks. Six years later, she dumps me for her professor and here I am. I thought she was the one. I just figured we’d be getting married. I never had to worry about women before.”
“Be glad she wasn’t the one. She sounds like a witch.”
“Yeah. But now I feel like a failure. I guess I’ve got something to prove to myself, so I’m trying to get out there.” He made quotation marks in the air.
The woman shook her head. “Air quotes aren’t your friend, my man.”
Damn, he was clueless. “Thanks for the tip. Clearly, I know nothing about dating. I figured if I could read enough relationship books, it’d be like taking a class. That, I know how to do.”
“So, you’re looking for pickup lessons.”
He chuckled. “I guess you could say so.”
“Like I said, I’ve watched three brothers date half the female population in the city. I could teach you a thing or two. For a fee, of course, to make up for all the sales commissions you’ve probably cost me by chasing my customers away today.”
“Of course. What are we talking?”
“My cat is due for her yearly checkup. Does a hundred sound good?”
“I’m still looking for work, but I could swing it. What are the parameters, here? Is there any guaranteed outcome?”
She tapped her finger on the glass counter. “If you don’t get a date in two weeks, I’ll go out on a practice date with you and tell you everything you’re doing wrong.”
“What if I’m doing everything right?”
“Then you won’t need a practice date, will you?”
“So when do we start?”
“Tomorrow. I’m Kyla Carter, by the way.”
He stuck out his hand. “Stone Kinney.”
“Meet me tomorrow night at eight at the Brownstone Bar.”
“It’s a date.”
“No, it’s not. It’s a class.”
***
Kyla wasn’t exactly regretting spending her day off teaching a sexy nerd how to land a date. She just wasn’t feeling as confident as she had the day before. Her brothers were all brawn and little brain. Well, the brain was probably there, they just chose not to use it very often. But male-female relations are the same, nerd or not, right? And if she could help her brother Nick land Jessie Lewis as his prom date, she should have no problems here. Plus, there was that New Year’s resolution to be more daring. This was kind of daring, right?
No, daring would be looking for your own date, said that nasally voice in her head which sounded a lot like her mother. Plus there was the whole issue of spending time with a PhD when she only had her GED. She had to get over dropping out of school some day, but that voice in her head kept her feeling bad about that, too. When her mother died, she hadn’t left her heirloom jewelry or keepsakes. No, her mother had left her with a nagging voice in her head and a guilty conscience about everything she did—or didn’t do—right. Oh, and a boatload of money Kyla refused to touch. Hopefully, her mom was rolling over in her coffin knowing her daughter was just a perfume counter salesgirl when she could be living off millions instead. Kyla wasn’t going to let her mother control her from the grave. Yet, the memory of her sharp words still rattled around in her brain.
Luckily, she could usually push her mom’s voice away. She slipped into a cute dress, because a flirting teacher should look flirty, right? She was meeting Stone at the Brownstone Bar. Monday was ladies night and there would be plenty of women used to lame pickup lines if that was all Stone could manage.
She put her hair up in a ponytail. Then let it down. Down looked sexier, because if worse came to worse, she’d have to pretend to be interested in Stone to get some of the other ladies looking his way, wondering what he had. And the better she looked, the better he’d look to the rest of the gals in the bar. Not that Stone needed a lot of help looking good. If she could keep him quiet, it just might work. He was the kind of guy who looked like a hot, manly man—until he started talking. Once the words came out of his mouth, his cute quotient fell. It was mean to say, but there it was.
She put on another coat of lip-gloss and smacked her lips together. She certainly hoped she could help him. He seemed sweet enough, and deserved a great gal. Could she find someone in his same intellectual stratosphere? She shrugged. Someone smokin’ hot would do.
Kyla got to the bar, and scanned the room, but she didn’t see Stone. There was no mistaking the time and date, they’d made the plans yesterday for crying out loud. She sat down and ordered a beer. The bartender gave her the look most bartenders gave her when she walked in a bar alone.
“I’ll have one for my friend, too,” she said, when he brought her the beer.
“Is she as hot as you?” the bartender asked.
“Yeah, he is,” she said.
He gave her a nod of understanding, grabbed another beer for her, and made his way down the bar to a blonde with her breasts pressed up against the counter.
Kyla drummed her fingers and checked her phone for the fifth time. It was ten after nine, and Stone was supposed to have been there at nine. Finally–after she finished her beer and shooed away three different guys who’d approached her–Stone walked in, snow flakes sparkling in his hair like stars.
Or dandruff.
He spotted her and shook his head like a dog, and pushed through the crowd to her. She tried not to sigh. This was going to be harder than she’d thought.
“Hi,” he said, sitting next to her. “Sorry I’m late.”
“Mistake number one. Never ever show up after the woman. You should be here first to take charge, to show you’re in control and will take care of her.”
He scratched his head. “What about traffic or wrong turns? There are a lot of variables that could keep a guy from getting there first.”
“Those are the rules.” She handed him a beer. “And that way, you can order drinks first, too.”
“But how will I know what she likes? Isn’t that presumptuous?”
“It shows a woman you’ll take care of her.”
He blew out a breath.
“But you look good.”
He looked down at his fitted long sleeved tee that showed off his lean muscular frame. “Thanks.”
Kyla was impressed that he didn’t even take a moment to ogle the mural of the naked mermaid on the wall across from them. Most guys did. Many even posed for pictures with ‘Naked Nellie,’ as they called her, usually making rude gestures. Her breasts were placed at the right height for a lot of fun. Depending on how busy it was, the bartender might pull out an old Polaroid camera and snap a shot to hang up on the wall by the restrooms. Stone didn’t seem to notice Nellie.
Stone smiled at Kyla. “How should I start?”
“Nice and easy. You want to start nice and easy. Forget everything you did back at the perfume counter. Wipe that right out of your brain.” She rubbed his forehead with two fingers. “You’re going to want to let the woman ask a lot of questions about you. Talk about yourself. Guys like to do that. Let her know all about you, your studies, your earning potential. This is the time to brag about yourself.”
“Don’t I want to break up the conversation and ask about her?”
She shook her head. “No. Women are used to letting men take the lead. All the women’s magazines tell us to. If you don’t, we’ll assume something’s wrong. And that’s what my brothers do. They talk non-stop about themselves while the women just smile and nod. Works every time.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, and touch her.”
He looked panicked. “What? That’s legal?”
She held up a hand. “Don’t grope her. I’m talking about grazing her arm, her shoulder. Just a quick gesture.”
“Okay. You’re sure?” He narrowed one eye at her.
“Yep. It’s flirty. Now you’re going to want to ask for her number, but don’t call for several days.”
His big hand wrapped around the beer mug, and Kyla gave him a few more points because those hands looked promising.
He took a swig of beer. “But what if I want to make a date for the weekend? Don’t we need time to plan?”
She twirled a strand of hair around her finger. “Too bad. You wait at least three days. Make her think you’ve got other things going on and you’re going to squeeze her in. Like she’s lucky to have you.”
He cocked his head. “Where did you get this information from again?”
“Three brothers who have dated numerous beauty queens, flight attendants and models between them.”
“Any astronomers or mathematicians?”
Yeah, I’m definitely not his type. “I seriously doubt it. But the rules are the same for all women.”
“I wish I could take a quiz on this to make sure I’ve got it right.” He blew out a breath. “So, how do I start?”
Leaning forward, she laughed and ran her hand through his hair. His eyes widened and he froze as she caressed him. She smiled and talked through clenched teeth like a ventriloquist. “I’m fawning over you to make you seem attractive to the other women. Now, you go to the restroom, then approach a woman you like.”
“I don’t have to go to the bathroom.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s just an excuse to walk away from me.”
“Fine. If I have to.”
“You sound like you’re ten years old.”
Stone grinned. “I wish I was still ten. It’s a lot more fun than being twenty-six. When you’re ten, girls are easy.”
“Excuse me? Easy?”
He rolled his eyes. “I don’t mean like trampy. When you’re ten, all girls have cooties, so dealing with them is easy—you just avoid them.”
She stifled a laugh. “You’re stalling, aren’t you?”
“Totally.”
She fished around for a piece of gum in her clutch. “You were fine playing peeping tom in the ladies evening wear section but you can’t approach a girl in a bar?”
He grunted something then walked to the restroom.
Kyla watched him approach the blonde with the boobs. He was saying something to her, and she blinked up at him. Then she slapped him. Kyla flinched. What the hell did he say now?
She expected him to slink back over to Kyla—or run out the door, but instead, he bounced on his toes, rolled his neck and headed for the other side of the bar. This time, he approached a cute Hispanic woman—who threw a drink in his face thirty seconds later.
He looked at Kyla, totally dumbfounded. She waved him over and he made a beeline for her.
“What the hell happened?” Kyla asked.
Rubbing the cheek where he’d been slapped, he groaned. “Blondie didn’t think the ten-year-old-girl joke was as funny as you did.”
“I didn’t think it was funny.”
He looked hurt. “You laughed.”
“I didn’t laugh; I smirked. At you. I was smirking at you not the joke. And what about the other gal?”
“I said, ‘Hey, pretty lady. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you into my car.’ I was playing off a car commercial I heard the other day. I wanted to be original.”
Kyla groaned. “That would be original for a kidnapper. Not a guy looking for a decent date.” Kyla let out a long sigh. “Okay. New rule. No lines, no jokes. Just walk up to a woman, say, ‘Hey, how you doing? I’m Stone. Can I get you a drink?’ Can you handle that?”
“Absolutely.”
She stared at him for a moment, uncertain. Then she shooed him away.
Stone wandered around the room, before finally approaching a brunette sitting by herself in the back. He sat down next to her, said a few words, and then promptly came back to Kyla.
“What did you do this time?”
“Nothing. I said hello, introduced myself and asked if I could buy her a drink. Then I touched her.”
Kyla gulped. “Where?”
“Her humeral head.”
She felt her eyes widen. “What? What is that? Where is that? And why would an astrophysicist know that?”
“I considered pre-med for a while. And the humeral head is here.” Stone touched the area above his armpit.
“I said her arm or shoulder.”
“That was nearly her arm or shoulder. My aim was off.”
“That was almost groping her chest!” Kyla ran her hands through her hair. “What did she say?”
“She shooed me away and told me she’s a lesbian. And the designated driver. And that she doesn’t speak English.”
“Hmm.”
“It might’ve been the truth; it did look like she was drinking a coke.” Stone’s brow wrinkled and he looked around the room. “I think that big naked mermaid is making me nervous. I’m trying so hard not to look at her, but it’s a very lifelike painting.”
Kyla clapped her hands together. “Okay. Plan B. We’re going to take things down a notch and get around a lot of women in a less stressful environment. I’m going to a Tupperware party on Wednesday. Lots of ladies, and it’ll be very casual. You can come with me. I’ll say you’re a friend who’s hopelessly disorganized and looking for some good storage solutions.”
“But that’s not true. I’m very well organized.”
“Pretend you’re not.”
He shrugged. “Do I have to buy Tupperware?”
“At least some modular mates. I’m sure you don’t have those. And remember everything that I’ve taught you tonight.”
***
Kyla was flat ironing her hair, when her phone rang. It was her friend Maureen, who was hosting the Tupperware party. “What’s up Mo? Need me to pick up something from the store?”
“No! I need you to get your behind over here. There’s a guy here named Stone who showed up twenty minutes early asking if he can get me a drink. He’s looking in our liquor cabinet right now! He says he’s a friend of yours?”
Kyla slapped her head. “I’m sorry. I was going to introduce you when I got there. I didn’t think he’d be there so early. Don’t worry, he’s a nice guy.”
“Is he like, your date or something?” Maureen asked.
“Uh, no. Not a date. Don’t I get a free mini-grater for bringing a guest? I needed a grater, so I’m bringing him. He’s my guest.”
Maureen sucked in a breath. “Oh, he just bent over. His butt is cute. He can stay. He’s kinda hot.”
“Yeah, he is,” Kyla said.
“But a little strange…”
“Yeah, that too.” But that was growing on Kyla. Despite his best intentions to be someone he wasn’t, he had a genuine quality about him that she liked. Hopefully, she’d find someone else who’d like it, too. Someone else who was smart, like him. “Hang on, I’ll be right there.”
But by the time she got changed and stopped for gas, she was fifteen minutes late. She walked into Mo’s living room where twelve women sat laughing. And not just laughing-about-a-funny-joke laughing, laughing in that flirty way where breasts are shoved forward and fingers graze necks. A little higher pitched than usual. Ugh. The laughter of women who hadn’t been flirted with in a while.
“Oh, Kyla! You missed it. Our new friend Stone just ordered each of us a mega tumbler,” said Kyla’s sister, Aubrey. Her hands were clasped in her lap like she was about to sigh dramatically. Aubrey batted her lashes, instead.
That was followed by a roomful of giggles, the likes of which she hadn’t heard since junior high.
Stone shrugged. “Drinkware’s on me!”
The ladies clapped and hooted. Stone grinned. Kyla’s friend, Stephanie, popped up and squeezed his bicep, the newlywed floozy. “We just love your friend, Kyla.”
Kyla walked over and forced a smile, grabbing Stone’s other bicep. She yanked him into the front entryway, pushing aside the jumble of boots and high heels. “What are you doing?” she asked. “You totally freaked out Maureen by showing up early without me. And you’re flirting with married women! Can’t you see their rings?”
He scratched his head. “Hey, you invited me here. And you told me to always get to a place before the woman does. So I showed up early. I offered to make cocktails because you told me I should have a drink waiting, but Maureen had two boxes of wine all set up, so I couldn’t do that. And I couldn’t buy anyone a drink, so I brought them a drink…cup.” He wrinkled his nose. “Stupid, huh?”
“A little. And expensive.”
“Hey, I got a free microwave rice steamer for ordering twelve tumblers.”
Kyla spun her finger in the air and said, “Woo-hoo. Now get in there, pick a woman without a wedding ring and start flirting. Get them talking about you.” She poked him in the chest. His impressively hard chest.
He sucked in a breath and squared his shoulders. “Okay boss, I’m on it.”
Stone didn’t have to work too hard. The minute he marched back into the room, Mo’s cousin, Maria, a cute redhead, patted the seat next to her. Kyla couldn’t concentrate on the salad spinner demonstration with all the whispering and giggling from Stone and his new friend. Kyla took a long swig of her wine. After the disaster at the bar, she hadn’t expected him to regroup so quickly. Maybe the mermaid really had made him nervous.
Maria giggled one more time then got up from the couch and headed for the bathroom. Kyla dashed to the hallway to get the scoop. “What do you think of Stone?” she asked.
Maria sighed. “He’s great. You are so lucky to have a gay friend. I’ve always wanted one to go shopping with, and teach me how to arrange flowers and gossip with. Every girl needs a gay friend. That’s what I read in a magazine the other day. Can we share him?” She shrugged and wrinkled her nose. “I gotta pee. Be right back.” She hurried off to the bathroom.
Kyla caught Stone’s eye and crooked her finger, beckoning him over. “What’s going on?” she asked him.
Stone shrugged and planted his hands on his hips. “I think she likes me.”
Kyla rolled her eyes. “She thinks you’re gay.”
He jerked back. “What? Why? Do I seem gay?” He looked down at his shoes. “Is it the argyle socks? Was I wrong about those?”
Her eyes swept over his chiseled cheekbones and cool, gray eyes. The way her heart was beating just looking at him had her shaking your head. “Nope. Not gay. At all.” She swallowed hard. “Not to me. So what were you talking about with her? You must’ve said something to make her think that.”
He looked up at the ceiling, thinking. “I waited for her to ask about me, but she didn’t. So then I asked her about her shoes, because I’ve heard girls like shoes. In fact, I had originally thought about staking out the shoe department at the mall, but I thought that might shout ‘foot fetish.’”
“Right. Now, back to Maria. What did you say to her about the shoes?” Kyla asked, trying her best to be patient.
“Well, after that, she started talking about her favorite store and the new scarf she bought and I asked if it’s silk, because I used to love dressing up in my mom’s silk nightgown when I was a little boy and then I told her how I found a silky dress at the mall the other day that felt exactly the same. I just love silk.”
Kyla remembered trying on her mother’s silky nightgowns, too. The two of them had been really close. Until Kyla had screwed everything up. And the thought of screwing up brought her right back to the present. “So, you told her this? About the nightgown?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, why not? I told Mom I’d tried it on cause I liked how it felt. She let me sleep in it. My mom was cool. She didn’t want to limit her children’s experiences by stereotypical world views and expectations.”
Kyla pinched the bridge of her nose. “I meant, you told Maria that you used to dress up in your mother’s nightgown? And that you were in the dress department the other day?”
“Yes.” He bit his lip. “Oh, I see now how that might be confusing.”
Kyla set her hands on his shoulders. “Just out of curiosity, what’s your IQ?”
“One-fifty.”
She whistled. “Wow. You could be in Mensa or something.”
He shook his head. “Too busy to make the meetings.”
She nodded, understanding things now; the smart part of his brain had gobbled up all his common sense. “Okay, let’s try again. There are a few more single women in there, go give it another shot and do not talk about fabrics or clothing or footwear. And remember, no lines, no jokes. If they don’t ask about you first, tell them something about yourself and let it go from there. Got it?”
He nodded. “Got it.”
Somehow, she doubted it.
Stone found a chair next to Mo’s neighbor, Gayle. Kyla nodded in approval. Gayle was pretty, single, and had a good job.
She watched them chat during the who’s-got-the-most-crap-in-their-purse-game. Stone got a special prize for having nothing but his wallet in his pockets—since he didn’t have a purse. Or a European man bag, thank God. By the time the party was over, he was walking toward Kyla with a slip of paper in his hand. “I got Gayle’s number!”
“Shh,” Kyla said, slipping her new grater into her purse. “Be cool. Let’s meet at the pub, and you can tell me everything.”
When Stone left, Aubrey scooted over to Kyla. “Stone’s cute,” Aubrey said.
“And it looks like he’s got a date with Gayle. Sorry, little sis. Besides, he’s…”
“He’s what?” Aubrey scrunched her eyebrows.
Kyla thought for a moment. “He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever gone out with.”
“Wait, he’s got a date with Gayle and he’s going out with you?”
“No!” God, I did said that, didn’t I? “We’re just friends. He just wouldn’t be right for either of us.”
“I have a three-thousand square foot condo on Beacon Street and no one to share it with,” Aubrey said.
“I told you to start slow with all that money.” Kyla hated being the bossy big sister. “You’ll find someone, Aubrey.”
“I know,” Aubrey said.
Too bad Kyla didn’t have the same optimism for herself.
“At least we’ve got each other for Valentine’s Day, right?”
Kyla looped her arm around her sister. “Right.”
***
Kyla drove to the bar and parked her car. She tilted the rear view mirror, freshened up her makeup, and wished her hair looked fuller. Which was ridiculous. She wasn’t interested in Stone. No! No. They were way too different. Besides, she wouldn’t be seeing him again after tonight. She’d promised to teach him how to get him a date and it had worked. Her work here was done. She’d collect her hundred bucks and…
And what? Sit at home and watch Lifetime for Women and make fun of the plot lines? Try to find a cooking show that featured meals for one? Maybe she’d imagine all the ways she could be spending her mother’s money if she wasn’t so damn stubborn. She merely tolerated her job, and she hadn’t had a long-term relationship since... She shook her head. Kyla wasn’t even going to go there.
She walked into the bar and Stone was there before her, so she gave him a few mental points for that. I should advertise my services, she thought to herself. I’m a dating coach. A romance guru. Wouldn’t her mother love that? Ha! Kyla saw that Stone had already ordered her a drink.
“Very nice. Thanks,” she said, genuinely impressed with him. And her handy work. “So, tell me what happened with Gayle?”
“Well, she asked me what I do for a living, so I explained that I just got my PhD and I’m still looking for work, because NASA’s not hiring. And she laughed at that for some reason, but it’s true, they’re not. I’ve been thinking about working at a kids’ science museum, but I didn’t go to school for a hundred years to take some teenager’s weekend job away from him.” He took a deep breath. “Anyway, then she said that must be tough money wise, which I thought was quite understanding of her. She didn’t seem phased when I told her I sometimes take an odd job here or there to make ends meet. I thought she’d run away at that news, but she smiled.”
Kyla nodded for him to go on.
“And then we even got to talking about kids, and if I like them, if I’ve had experience with them.”
“Huh.” Something was niggling Kyla’s brain but she couldn’t place it. “But you got her number, right?”
“That I did.” He plucked it out of his pocket and waved it at her. “She suggested we try things out this Saturday. I told her I’d think about it.” He grinned. “I’ll wait a few days to call her like you said.”
“That’s great! See?” She patted his knee and resisted the urge to squeeze it. “I told you I could help you. That’s probably the best hundred bucks you’ve ever spent.”
“Right. Time to pay up.” He reached for his wallet and took out a few bills. “But one thing did surprise me. She asked me for references. I thought that was a little weird, but then I figured she must be doing something like you’re doing with the pre-dating survey. Makes sense, when you think about it. If I can have an old girlfriend vouch that I’m a good guy, that’ll make her more interested. Although I don’t think Susan will give me a reference. The girl I took to junior prom might, though…” He rubbed his chin.
Kyla made a timeout sign. “She asked you for references?”
He nodded.
“And if you’re good with kids, and she suggested ‘trying things out’ this Saturday night?”
“Yeah. Why?”
Kyla groaned. “She’s a single mom. She’s not looking for a date—she’s looking for a babysitter. Put your hundred bucks away.”
With a frown, he shoved the bills back in his wallet. “That would explain why she asked if I was Red Cross certified in CPR.”
Kyla dropped her head back. “I’ve heard a good babysitter can be harder to find than a single guy.”
“So, I shouldn’t call her?”
“No! Not unless you’re looking for a babysitting gig, and I promise you, you won’t ever get a date if you’re working as a manny.”
“Fine. So what now?”
“I wish my apartment was bigger. I’d have a party with women hand-picked just for you.” Kyla drummed her fingers. Then she snapped them. “I have a baby shower to go to this weekend. All the single women will have babies on the brain. They’ll be in man-hunting overdrive. You’ll get a date for sure.”
He rubbed his chin. “At a baby shower?”
“Sometimes they’re co-ed.”
“Is this one?”
“No, but we’ll tell them we thought it was to explain why you’re there.”
Stone paused. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Don’t question the master.”
“Remind again me what makes you the master?”
“Years of watching and helping three older brothers weave their magic. Now let’s get out of here.”
Stone walked her to her car, and as she stood there by her door, her lips tingled for a moment. Stop it, she told herself. He’s not the right kind of guy for you.
And why the hell not? She sighed. There was her mother’s voice.
“Everything all right?” Stone asked.
She opened her car door. “It will be once we get you set up on a date.”
“I’m sorry this is turning into such a pain in the ass for you.”
She was about to say, ‘It’s not you, it’s me,’ but that might lead to a discussion she didn’t want to have. “Good night.” She hopped in her car and drove home.
***
Stone was chatting up a tall, leggy brunette with five baby binkies hanging around his neck.
“Can I talk to you?” Kyla asked him as she walked up.
“You and I will chat later,” he told the woman. “You can tell me all about your nursery theme.”
She shook her head, confused. “No, I don’t have a baby.”
He pointed at her. “Gotcha! And now you don’t have your binky necklace either—you said b-a-b-y! Hand it over.” He did a little victory dance, and then held out his hand, wiggling his fingers.
The brunette pouted and took off the binky tethered to long pink string around her neck.
Stone proudly looped it around his neck. “That makes six. I’m totally going to win this thing, just so long as I stay away from the granny in the corner with the bifocals. She’s got quite a few and she’s been eyeing me up. Either that or she wants me. And I don’t think I’m into the cougar thing.” He glared at an old woman in the corner, toying with the binkies around her neck, and she glared right back at him.
Kyla jabbed him with her elbow. “Be nice to her. She’s going to be a great-grandmother when this baby is born.”
“Ha!” Stone held out his hand. “Give me your binky!”
Kyla sighed and took off her binky necklace and handed it to him. “We didn’t come here to play games, we came here so you could meet some women.”
“I’m meeting lots of women.”
“And you’re pissing them all off by tricking them out of their binkies.”
His shoulders slumped. “Oh. Right, I see.”
Kyla put her hands on his shoulders. “Clearly you can’t do this on your own. So, pick out someone you think is cute and I’ll introduce you. Just smile and nod and say very little. Or nothing. Saying nothing might be good, too. Okay?”
“Okay.” He looked around the room and his gaze settled on a pretty redhead by the punch bowl. “How about Ginger over there wetting her whistle?”
“Or, a nice way to say it would’ve been, ‘The lovely redhead getting a drink.’”
“Yes. Her.”
“Follow me.”
But before they could reach the gal, the tiny white-haired woman went straight for Stone. “I don’t think I know you.”
He reached out his hand. “I’m Stone Kinney. I’m friends with Kyla.”
“I’m Nana Clark. Soon to be a great-grandma once this kiddo is born. Is this the first time you’ve been to one of these newborn shindigs?” She had a twinkle in her eye as she touched the binkies hanging around her neck, like she was making sure they were still there.
Stone opened his mouth then fixed her with a steely gaze. “You mean a party to herald the arrival of a treasured infant into the world? Yes, this is my first soiree dedicated to celebrating the birth of a family’s progeny.” He grabbed a handful of dinner mints from the table and popped them in his mouth.
Nana Clark snapped her fingers in frustration. “Dang it. You’re on to me. And I really wanted to win that body lotion basket.”
Stone locked his stare on Nana Clark’s, and Kyla wondered if she was going to have to separate them. Then Stone looked at the floor and held back a grin. “I really want to win, too.” He looked at Kyla, and cupped her cheek in his hand. She stopped breathing. “Luckily, I’m doing great at this game, right, baby?”
Kyla could only nod, while Nana Clark slapped her hand on her thigh. “Got you! You said it! Hand over those.”
“Not all of them,” Kyla said, defensively. “Surely you just get one.”
Stone took them all off. “No, I think Nana Clark deserves them all.”
Kyla was about to say something incredibly sappy about Stone being sweeter than the punch, so she took a drink of it instead. Kyla never said anything sweet. What the hell was wrong with her?
Nana Clark’s eyes lit up like she was being presented with the new baby just delivered from its mother’s womb. Nana gazed over at the gift basket. “I hope that thing’s got a few candles in it. I’m running low. I like to set them out when my gentleman callers join me in the hot tub.”
Kyla spit her punch back into her cup.
“Say, maybe you two will have a baby someday,” Nana said, and then walked off.
Stone’s eyes widened hearing the magic word, ready to snag the binkies back, but Kyla’s were glossed over with tears.
He looked at her. “Oh, no. What did I do? You wanted those candles and the body stuff? I’m sorry. I just couldn’t do it to her.”
Kyla blinked at him.
“What? I could’ve gotten all the binkies back—she just said baby! I should have busted her. But she really wanted that basket. It’s probably the highlight of her year.”
Kyla forced her emotions into a laugh, because if they came out in a cry, she’d be crying for a long time. What a fool she’d been thinking that she could come to a baby shower—with a guy like Stone. The first guy to make her think maybe she would want to have a baby again someday.
That’s just because you can’t have him.
Shut up, mother. But it hadn’t been her mother’s voice in her head, it had been her own.
Stop beating yourself up. You made a mistake. It’s time to move on. Now, that was her Mom. Huh.
***
Stone walked her out to her car after the party, the snow crunching under their feet, the sun a sorry little blotch struggling to be seen in the sky. “Sorry. I’m leaving without a date or a number or a gift basket. I feel like I’m wasting your time.”
Her hair swirled in the breeze and she tucked it behind her ear. She patted his hand, wishing she could link her fingers with his, wondering what it would be like to have him work those hands through her long hair. But she dropped his hand instead. “No, you’re not wasting my time. I’m just not taking you the right places. I’ve got a no-brainer next weekend. You’re coming to a wedding with me; only you’re going to pretend you’re there by yourself. My friend, Maureen from the Tupperware party, was going to come with me because she heard there’s going to be a fortuneteller and a martini bar at the reception, but I’ll tell her tough cookies, you’re coming instead. At the wedding, you can pretend to be the groom’s third cousin from out of town.”
He shrugged. “Do I have to bring a gift?”
“How about some of the Tupperware you bought?”
He frowned. “Not the modular mates. I really like those.” He narrowed his eyes. “If I weren’t such a sap I’d have a brand new body lotion gift set to bring.”
***
Stone tried on three different ties before settling on the one with the shooting stars. He had an impressive collection of astrological themed ties given to him during his graduate studies. This whole girlfriend search was almost as exhausting as pulling off a triple major in college. Almost. His mother had always told him he could do anything if he set his mind to it. He wished he could talk to his mother about this one, but she’d be crushed to find out he wasn’t with Susan anymore.
It’s not that she loved Susan; she loved the idea of Susan—and the wedding and the babies that were sure to come. He didn’t have the heart yet to break it to her that he and Susan were no long together, but things were getting desperate. Clearly. Maybe he just didn’t have the social skills to seek out a girlfriend. Maybe he’d have to wait for one to find him—if he could pick up on the I’m-interested-cues. On the rare occasions he went bar hopping with his ex, she’d laugh at how oblivious he was to pickup lines and steamy stares across the room. He could write everything he knew about women on a fortune cookie slip—and the fortune on the other side would probably be more helpful. Like Kyla. Why was she always flipping her long hair around him? Was that some sort of “hands off” gesture? Now Kyla would be a catch. But he was standing in an entirely different ballpark from her.
Stone drove to the hotel ballroom and scanned the lobby. They were supposed to meet there first and then walk in separately like they weren’t together. Kyla was working hard for her hundred bucks and he appreciated it. She really was kind. He smiled to himself. Kind probably wasn’t the best word. Sassy? Confident. Intriguing. A smart ass? Yeah, definitely a smart ass. But cold. Her personality was definitely on the cool side. Or maybe she was that way just was around him.
“Hey, aren’t you the groom’s third cousin?” cooed a familiar voice.
He looked over and forgot to breathe; Kyla was wearing a black, clingy dress suitable for an anatomy lesson. At least an anatomy lesson showing off all the good parts. He could certainly point out the exact location of her humeral head in that outfit. He cleared his throat. “Yes, I’m cousins with—” What was the groom’s name?
“Bill Tucker.”
“Bill Tucker’s cousin. I’m his third cousin.” He straightened his tie. “Are you sure I can pull this off?”
She shrugged. “Nope. But what’s the worse that could happen?”
He didn’t even want to think about that.
“We’re at table twelve. Wait five minutes then come say hi to me at the bar. We met at the engagement party.” Then she sauntered away.
“You look nice!” he called after her, but she didn’t turn around.
Five minutes later, he walked into the ballroom and quickly found the bar. He spotted Kyla right away—surrounded by three big, buff guys.
He scanned the room for other attractive women, but his eyes kept coming back to Kyla. Which was stupid, she knew what a social dolt he was and she’d made it pretty clear she thought he was a pathetic loser back when she’d busted him at her perfume counter.
He walked up to her, aware of three sets of suspicious eyes on him. He looked at Kyla and pointed. “Hey, didn’t I meet you at the engagement party?”
She snapped her fingers. “Oh, yeah. Stone, right?”
“Yes. And you’re Kyla.”
“Hey, let’s go mingle.” She elbowed her way out of the group of men and he happily followed.
“I could’ve taken them,” he said, tugging on his lapels.
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, taken them out for ice cream maybe.”
Man, she thought he was worse than a dolt. She thought he a defenseless dolt. But then how would he even know? He’d never been in a fight. Hard to do when you spend your nights in a lab gazing at the sky.
“Looks like tables twelve, thirteen, and fourteen are for the singles. Hang out around there, and you should be able to find some women without dates,” Kyla suggested.
Stone scanned the room, but he didn’t see anyone as attractive as the woman standing next to him. “How about you warm me up?”
“You’re going to have to explain that. It sounds perverted, but now that I know you, I’m sure you didn’t mean it that way.” Her big, beautiful eyes bore into him.
He blew out a breath. “Let’s just talk. Get me loosened up.”
“Oh, okay. Well, tell me how you met the ex-love of your life?”
“In the library, of course. She was studying at the table next to me and needed me to reach a book for her. What about you? Any great loves lost?”
Her smile disappeared. “It was a long time ago.”
He hated that his question brought a thread of sadness into her voice. “Really? How long has it been since you’ve had a boyfriend?”
“Oh, I’ve dated. It’s just been a while since I thought I was with someone who was the one.”
“What happened?”
She shook her head. “I’d have to be a lot drunker to tell you that story.”
Just then, a pretty woman with dark brown eyes walked up. Jackpot, maybe he wouldn’t have to do the approaching. But she went up to Kyla, instead. “Kyla Carter, is that you?”
Kyla smiled, but Stone knew it was fake. “Jessie Lewis! How are you? I haven’t seen you since high school!” Kyla said.
They fake hugged and then Jessie stepped back. “Did you ever go back and get your diploma after—”
Kyla cut her off. “I did. Yes, thanks for asking. I’m great. Super. Duper.”
Jessie touched Kyla’s arm, and Kyla looked like she wanted to rip it off. I will never understand the touching rule, he thought.
“Good,” Jessie said. “I felt so bad that you had to drop out. You were near the top of the class, weren’t you?”
Kyla froze and Aubrey hurried over and interrupted. “Hey, Stone, great to see you. And you, Jessie Lewis. Wow. Here you are. Have you seen my brothers? Let’s go chat with Nick and reminisce about your date to prom.” Aubrey and Jessie scooted away. Aubrey looked back and made a face.
Stone looked at Kyla. “What’s she talking about?”
Kyla shook her head.
“Tell me. What happened, Kyla? If your grades were so good, why did you drop out of school and skip college?”
Kyla’s mouth moved like she was searching for the words, but she just covered her face, sobbing, and ran off.
Stone stood there, stunned, wondering if he should go after her, but he soon found himself surrounded by the three huge guys from the bar.
“What did you do to her?” one of them asked in a gravelly voice.
The two other guys moved closer.
Wondering what it would be like to be in traction for several months, Stone cleared his throat. “I didn’t say anything. Her friend from high school said something and got her upset.”
That elicited some mumbling and swearing. “You her date?” one of them asked.
“No. I’m…” He was going to say he was the groom’s third cousin, but he decided on the truth. “I’m a friend. She’d never go out with someone like me. But—God, this is embarrassing—she’s helping me with my dating skills. She says she helped her brothers a lot.”
And that brought on a round of laughter. “She helped us?” one of the guys said.
“Yeah, we’re hurting for dates. We need help from our little sister getting women,” laughed another.
“Oh, you’re her brothers.” And not ex-NFL boyfriends. Although brothers might be worse.
“Yeah, I’m Eric, this is Nick and Toby. And we’ve never needed help with the ladies. If anything, she got in the way, always hanging around when we brought a girl home.”
“She said something about lining up Nick with a prom date? And models and flight attendants?” Stone asked.
“Well, the prom date’s true,” Eric said. “Nick was a later bloomer.”
“Hey!” Nick said.
“But the models and stewardesses were all on our own,” Nick said.
“And some female CEO’s,” Toby added.
“Yeah, even before we inherited our money,” Eric said, puffing out his chest.
“Geez, Eric. Shut the hell up,” Nick said.
Stone shook his head like he could clear it. “Shouldn’t someone go check on Kyla?”
The three brothers looked at each other. “It scares me when she cries. Kyla never cries.” Eric said. “You go talk to her, Toby.”
Toby grimaced. “She’ll bite my head off. Nick, it’s up to you. You’re Mr. Sensitive.”
“Just because I use toothpaste for sensitive teeth does not mean I can handle Kyla. She cries, and then she yells, and sometimes she hits me,” Nick said, rubbing his arm as if she’d just slugged him.
“It’s been a while since she had a boyfriend. Maybe that’s why she’s upset?” Eric wondered.
“Where’s Aubrey?” Toby asked. “She’s better at this than us.”
The guys scanned the room and shrugged. “I don’t see her,” Nick said.
Then the three of them looked at Stone.
“Well, I’m going to go find her,” Stone said, one hundred percent clueless about what he’d say or do when he did locate her.
“Good luck to you,” Toby said. “You’re braver than I imagined.”
Nick wasn’t sure where she went. So he walked to the ladies room and waited outside for a few minutes––got a few nasty stares, but didn’t see her come out. He offered the flower girl five bucks to see if Kyla was inside, and once the little devil negotiated her way up to ten bucks, she went in and told him there were no pretty, dark-haired ladies crying in there.
He pointed at her. “Corporate law. It’s your destiny.”
The little girl gave him a look. “Please. Personal injury is where the money’s at.”
He searched the lobby and the terrace and finally went out to the parking lot, where he spotted a parked car running, probably for the heat; it was freezing out. He walked over and tapped on the window. Kyla looked up, tears streaming down her face. Then she swore.
Stone’s heart fell, seeing her like that. “Can I come in?”
She pursed her lips then hit the unlock button. Stone dashed around the car and climbed in the passenger seat. “So I met your brothers,” he said, rubbing his hands in front of the heater. “I do believe that’s the closest I’ve ever come to getting pummeled.”
Kyla wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. “Why? What did you do?”
“Seriously? I’m usually the clueless one. When you ran off, they figured it was something I said,” he told her.
“Sorry.” Kyla said, her spunk and sass totally drained away. “When the three of them are together, it’s like testosterone overload, but one-on-one, they’re p-ssycats.”
“I don’t care about them. Are you okay? You don’t strike me as the type to run off and cry.”
She looked out the window. “It’s been building for a while.” The wipers swiped across the windshield.
Stone touched her arm, and then pulled his hand away, remembering the look Kyla had given Jessie when she’d touched her. “Wanna talk about it?”
Kyla shook her head.
“What could be worse than all the horrible things I’ve told you? Everyone has their issues, Kyla.”
“I’m too embarrassed to tell you.”
“Why?”
“You’re a PhD and I’m a stupid high school drop out.”
“You’re not stupid. Maybe I’m the stupid one spending years of my life on a degree that’s getting me nowhere so far. For putting my life on pause for my career. What could be worse?”
“It’s nothing.”
Stone shook his head. “No, it’s not. Something got you this upset.”
Kyla blew out a breath and stared at the ceiling of her car. “Fine. It’s not like we had a chance anyway. Like Jessie said, I was near the top of my class in high school. I had big plans for college, my guidance counselors were talking about scholarships and the whole deal.”
Stone titled his head. “What do you mean you and I don’t have a chance? What does that mean?”
She shook her head. “Nothing.”
Oh, lord. It was like he was in a foreign country where he only knew a few words of the language. He’d almost gotten run over by a bus when he asked for directions in Italy once, and this was more unnerving. He shrugged, his brows knitted as he tried to keep up. “So, what happened?”
“Dale O’Connor happened.”
“You dropped out because of a guy?”
Her hands covered her face like she was saying a prayer. “He got me pregnant. Everyone had such big expectations for me, and I was mortified to have disappointed everyone. So I dropped out.”
“Didn’t the guy help you?”
“He moved south after graduation. I never saw him again.”
This time, Stone set his hand on her shoulder and left it there. “So you’re a single mother?”
She shook her head. “The baby was adopted. I was torn, but my mother insisted I’d never reach my potential raising a child at such a young age. She had big dreams for me. But once I gave the baby up, I fell into such a depression. I just stopped caring about everything.” She sniffed. “I guess when I gave the baby up, I gave up, too, and I ended up blaming her. We had a huge fall out.”
He reached for her hand, and surprisingly she didn’t slap him away. “And you haven’t had a serious relationship since?”
“Who said that?” Kyla asked.
“Your brothers.”
Kyla’s eye widened then narrowed. “Those jerks!”
“So, it’s true?”
“Yeah, who would want me?”
“I would.”
She snorted. “You have your doctorate. I got my GED mailed to me. Men like you don’t go out with women like me.”
Stone closed his eyes and shook his head. “No, you’ve got it wrong. Women like you don’t go out with guys like me. Total nerd. Social moron. You made it very clear when you first met me that you weren’t interested.”
She tipped her chin in the air. “I don’t let myself be interested in unattainable men.”
“You can attain me. I’m attainable. For you.” He frowned. “God, that sounded stupid.”
“No, it was sweet in a weird way.” She blushed and sunk down in her seat. “But my life’s a wreck. I’m not what you’re looking for.”
He shifted in his seat so he was facing her. “And I am? I’ve got a PhD, but I don’t have a job. Your life is stalled. And so is mine. Maybe together we could change that.”
She thought about it for a moment. “It’s like I’ve been frozen in place for a long time.”
Stone snapped his fingers. “Maybe that’s why you’re so cold.”
She sat up in her seat. “Excuse me? I’m cold?”
He groaned. “Where is a worm hole when you need it?”
“Huh?”
“To climb back in time, get things right? It’s the prevailing hypothesis on the possibility of time travel.” He growled in frustration. “I don’t think this is going to change, you know. Me, always saying the wrong thing. I don’t really think you can help me with that.”
She looked at their hands linked together, then up into his eyes. “I don’t want to change you.”
“Really?”
She shook her head. “I like you just the way you are.”
“Good. Because I don’t think you can change me. None of your lessons were really working, anyway.”
“Thank god,” she said, smiling at him.
Stone let out a long sigh. “So, I’m going to be honest. I’m not sure what to do here. Can I try to kiss you, or will I get smacked?”
“You’ll get smacked if you don’t.”
“Understood.” Stone wrapped one hand around the back of her head and slowly, softly moved his lips over hers.
Kyla pulled away and sucked in a breath. “Damn, who taught you how to kiss?”
He pulled away and smiled. “My sister.”
Her eyes went wide then she laughed. “Ah, yes. Your football-loving sister.” She whacked him in the arm. “See, maybe there is hope for your humor.”
He moved back in for a kiss. “I’d rather work on this instead.”
***
The next night, Kyla was nervous as she waited for Stone to come over to her place to watch the Super Bowl. Maybe they’d just gotten carried away at the wedding. Maybe it was just the magic of the night. Maybe he’d walk in, see her brothers again, and run. He wouldn’t be the first. “I want you all to apologize to him,” she said to her brothers, sitting on the couch, waiting for the game.
Aubrey sat in a chair across from them. “Like meeting a great guy isn’t hard enough without three meddling brothers.”
“We thought he upset you, Kyla,” Nick said. “Sorry.”
“You don’t pick out the best guys. Remember Dale?” Toby asked.
Kyla gave them a look. “Of course I remember Dale.”
She heard a knock on her apartment door. “Now be nice!” She ran to get it, and Stone came in and handed her a single candle taper.
“What’s this for?”
“It’s a candle. Remember you really wanted the candles in that body lotion gift basket at the baby shower? The one I let Nana Clark win?”
“Right. Wow. You’re so thoughtful. Thank you so much.” She took the candle from him and set it on the table by the door. Then she led him out to the living room where her brothers and sister sat.
He froze. “Hey, fellas. And Aubrey. Nice, gentle, Aubrey. How ya doing, guys?” His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat.
They all stood up and Stone took a step back. And then another.
“Hang on, we’re just going to say sorry. We came to Kyla’s tiny place on Super Bowl Sunday. Give us some points for that. But I haven’t seen Kyla this happy in a long time,” Nick said.
“How would you know happy?” Eric asked Nick. “You’ve been miserable for years.”
“Of course I am, with siblings like you,” Nick said.
“I know what would make you even happier, sis. A bigger place,” Toby said. “How are we all supposed to watch football here?”
“Seriously, Kyla. My bedroom is bigger than your apartment,” Aubrey said.
“I’m all for Kyla being happy, too,” Stone said. “The two of us were talking about getting ourselves unstuck. Maybe you can get a better place, go to college if you want. Anything, Kyla.”
“Or maybe you can just knock that chip off your shoulder and take the money mom left you,” Toby said.
“You don’t even have to go to college. You could live off that money for the rest of your life,” Eric said.
Stone looked at her. “You’ve got money?”
Kyla glared at her brothers, then looked back at Stone. “My mom left us all a pretty big inheritance. But I don’t want her money. I want to make my own way.”
Toby made a time-out sign with his hands. “Stone, you didn’t know that—and you liked her anyway?”
“I met her at the perfume counter at Macy’s. No, I didn’t think she had money,” Stone says. “And if she doesn’t want to use it, that’s fine with me.”
The three brothers said “Aww,” all at once.
Kyla tipped up her chin. “Good. Because I might never touch it.”
Stone put his arm around her shoulder. “I don’t care if you have money or not.”
She looked up to kiss him, but Stone hesitated. “I’m not sure if I should do this in front of your brothers.”
Eric nodded at him. “Go ahead. We’re cool with you now.”
Stone curled his arms around her and held her tight. Then he set his hands on her shoulders. “But just out of curiosity, why are you working at a job you hate when you’ve got lots of money available?”
Good question, asked the voice in her head.
“Guess I had something to prove,” Kyla said.
“Mom’s dead, Kyla. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You never did,” Toby said.
Kyla shrugged. “To myself, I did.”
“So quit,” Stone said. “Take some time to figure out what you’d like to do. Take some time to spend with me.”
“Ugh. They’re getting romantic. Can we watch the game at your place, Toby?” Eric asked. “We still have time to get there.”
Kyla threw a pillow at him. “Please do. Get out of here.”
“Kyla’s got a boyfriend, Kyla’s got a boyfriend,” the three brothers chanted as they left the apartment.
“Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it little sis?” Eric said, closing the door behind him before a pillow hit bounced off it.
Kyla cleared her throat. “You, too, Aubrey?”
Aubrey sat staring and smiling at them. “Oh. Yes, of course.” She wiped away a tear. “I’m just so happy for you.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll find you a boyfriend next,” Kyla said. “We’ll get to work on it tomorrow.”
“Let me just get out of here.” Aubrey gathered her things and quietly slipped out the door.
Stone looked at her, awed. “It’s a miracle you ever dated at all.”
And it’s time for you to start dating again, said her mother’s voice. I’m sorry.
“Sorry?” Kyla said.
“For what?” Stone asked cautiously. “I am. Sorry that is, if I did something. I’m just not sure what it is. But I’m sorry.”
Kyla looked up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry, too.”
“Okay…” Stone said cautiously. “Maybe we should just kiss and make up. For whatever it is.”
“And miss the Super Bowl?”
“Oh, right.”
She slugged him playfully, and then clicked off the TV, tossing the remote over her shoulder. “I’m kidding. We’ll tune in after half-time.”
Stone trailed a finger across her lips and kissed her like she’d never been kissed.
“Thank you,” she whispered, hoping her mother heard her.
Stone grinned. “You’re welcome.”
She slugged him again.
He held up his hands. “I swear to god I’m going to figure this out one of these days.”
Not likely, her mother’s voice said, and Kyla giggled as she kissed the man who was incredibly, the perfect new start for her.
“I’m going to do it,” Kyla said.
“What?” Stone asked cautiously.
“I’m going to get a bigger apartment. And maybe a place on the Cape. And I’m going to contact my baby’s mother and set aside some money for college.”
“That’s great,” Stone said, pulling her closer.
“Maybe I’ll go to college, too. But right now, I’ve got more important things to do.”
Stone looked at her. “Me?” he asked quietly.
She pushed him down on the couch. “Yes, you. I’ve got many more lessons to teach you.”