A Summer to Remember

chapter Twenty-Three

I should have been a bit shocked when my best friend met me in the lobby of the outrageously expensive Setai Hotel but I wasn’t. I embraced her and clung for dear life as I began to sob as crocodile tears flowed down my cheeks and generally had a nervous breakdown that was a long time coming.

She stroked my hair and told me not to cry as we stood there. Impossibly wealthy people passed us and more than a few second-glanced us but I didn’t care. I felt so broken even though to be honest, I had no reason to feel the way I did.

Paul had kept secrets from me because he thought I couldn’t handle them but he wasn’t a cheater, douchebag or an a*shole. He treated me better than any other lover I’d ever had and for the first time in my life, I could see light at the end of a tunnel that had been bleak and dark for so long, I didn’t think my perspective would ever change.

I knew I was acting like a fool and my hormones were of no help to me so the situation was pretty awful but part of it was of my own making so I had no one to blame but myself.

We separated reluctantly and Talia smiled. “Paul called me and said you might drop by. I take it you’ve read the whole Kendall Lawson and Kool Luc story?”

I nodded my head as a tear slid down my left cheek. “I know it isn’t his fault and she cheated with Kool Luc while they were together. What kind of girlfriend just leaves her boyfriend in a restaurant to lick her own wounds while he is also hurting? I feel like the world’s biggest piece of shit right now.”

My best friend cocked her head. “Please, Jerri, stop being so damn melodramatic and put on your big girl panties! That man loves you with all his heart and if this is how you are going to act every time you find out he isn’t some perfect sex god then how can you expect to make a life with him? We’re human and we make mistakes. He didn’t sleep with her while you two were together and knock her up—they were dating at the time and she specifically waited until he’d moved on to call him up and tell him he was going to be a father to a child he could never claim. She said something to the equivalent of ‘Just lose my number and forget you ever knew me.’ It was really rough and Jude didn’t share it with you because he knew you were in an emotionally fragile state.”

“Great, so now I find out everyone tips on egg shells around me.”

Talia grabbed me by my slender shoulders with both hands and replied coolly, “No, we don’t but why don’t you admit Vassar f*cked you up? You don’t have to be the victim of rape or child molestation to have scars that refuse to heal, you know that, right? You had an abortion—you murdered a human being—and damn near lost everything behind it! Don’t you think that is enough to mess with your head forever?”

I nodded wordlessly.

“Good then come on upstairs and have a few rounds of Jack with Seth and I. His brother, Nil, is in town and he is one of the best tattoo artists in the world. He works at The Black Rose in L.A. and they are finally going to ink me.”

As we began to walk, I said, “They?”

“He brought Loire. She is really good too. You should let her ink you. Something small at the nape of your neck where you can hide it at all the fancy functions your parents have.”

“That won’t do then. It would have to be somewhere on my lower torso that would never show and only Paul would be able to see it.”

“Cool! Come on, let’s go up to my suite where Nil and Loire can get started.”

I loved that about Talia because she could always raise my spirits no matter how dark they ventured and no one would ever be able to take her place.

I had suddenly forgotten I was supposed to be pissed at Paul and all I could think about now centered on a potential tattoo. I was about to get inked for the first time and way too excited about it!



“So, Nil, is it? That short for something else?” I inquired as he began to ink in the outline form of my tattoo.

It would eventually become a black rose in full bloom with a closed rose next to it. It was coming out as beautiful as I thought it would be and was arranged directly above my left pelvic bone.

“Nope. It’s Catalan. At least Seth ended up with a nice American name but I got one from the old country thanks to our mother.” He finally said as he began to ink Paul’s name in cursive; it was intricate work and hurt like a bastard because the needle was placed directly on my pelvic bone but I didn’t care.

Talia breathed in deep before she swallowed another shot of Jack Daniels. Her tattoo—which Loire was doing, consisted of the whole name—Winter’s Regret mid-back with thorns separating the two words. Underneath, her nickname, Tal, would be added in cursive.

“Are you the younger of the two?” I asked just to take my mind off the tremendous amount of pain.

“By thirty-five minutes…we’re fraternal twins. Hence the reason why my eyes are blue and his are that grayish-green color. I inherited my eye color directly from our paternal grandmother while he got our mother’s eye coloring. Our dad’s eyes are brown.”

“Interesting.” I practiced breathing exercises because after three shots of JD, my head was spinning and I didn’t think I needed another. “What made you want to become a tattoo artist?”

“Both Seth and I have always been artistically inclined. I was good with drawing and portraits…he was good with a guitar and had a great set of pipes. In the end everything worked out.”

“I think that is the most I have ever heard you talk to a client, Nil.” Loire looked up from her design at her fellow colleague and I could feel the sparks between them.

She had the most gorgeous yellow-gold eyes I’d ever seen and although she wasn’t inked anywhere I could see, I knew she must have had some. What tattoo artist didn’t?

“Jerrica is easy to talk to, Loire, and beats a lot of our clientele which happens to be made up of vacuous celebrities who always want some intricate tattoo in Chinese or Japanese that means absolute nonsense.”

I laughed out loud. “How do you know?”

“I spent two years in Asia…a long time ago. I was f*cked up most of the time…high on heroin, marijuana, and booze. I spent almost a year in Bangkok but I kept visiting China and Japan too. I learned enough about both languages to know that when the idiots come in and want something exotic, most of what they have brought me is gibberish and I refuse to ruin my reputation over bullshit. I give them a choice: they can allow me to tattoo on the correct phrase or they can find someone else to f*ck up their body because it won’t be me.”

I laughed and for the first time realized I’d been doing a lot of that since I arrived at my best friend’s suite.

“Do you really think it is the smartest idea to get a tattoo the night you have to play a show?” I asked Talia.

“What the hell are you talking about? It’s the best time to get one. I will be in so much pain, I won’t have time to be nervous. Besides, Seth insisted I get mine done before I can do the first gig.”

“Seriously?”

“Well, technically being part of Winter’s Regret is like being in a gang. You’re not ‘officially’ a member until you have your ink.”

I turned toward my best friend and looked at her with exaggerated annoyance. “You are kidding, right?”

Loire laughed out loud. “Does she look like she’s kidding?”

“No, she doesn’t,” I answered back.

“Anyway, I want to do this. No one made me join the band and a couple of the a*sholes, specifically Linx and Niko, would rather not have a woman in the band. They say it messes up the dynamics of the group especially if fans were to find out Seth and I were an item. It’s been tough these last few weeks but I can handle myself and I don’t need Seth to save me. We all grew up in the same tough Boston neighborhood—believe me, I know how to handle myself around them.”

We continued to chat about the group and other little snippets of gossip before both our tattoos were finished, bandaged and covered. I laid on Talia’s sofa after Nil and Loire had left, nursing a hefty glass of Jack Daniels, sans ice, and told my best friend all about my run in with the Palmetto bug.

She laughed so hard, I thought she was going to piss her pants. “I could totally see you screaming like a little girl when it landed on your shoulder too.”

“It isn’t funny, Tal. You should have seen the size of that thing and first it hit me in the face. I didn’t know what the hell it was at first. I’m still traumatized…it made me forget all about my little fight with Paul.”

“Speaking of that situation, what are you going to do? You know how I feel. Don’t let that gossipy bitch in the Miami Times ruin your vacation. She doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about. What went on between Kendall and Paul is no one’s business and I’m here to tell you he would be lost without you.”

Before I could reply, there was a knock at the suite door and Talia got up and walked over to answer it. From her hushed tones, I knew she was either talking to Seth or Paul but I had a feeling I knew who it was. I downed the rest of my JD and felt a slow burn as it settled into my still-empty stomach. I’d never been a whiskey girl before but I could understand why so many people liked it.

My mind failed to process what we’d been through earlier and I was ready and waiting to literally wrap my arms around him and let him know how much I loved him. I wanted him to know I acted immature earlier and in the end, we would be all right. We had to be if I wanted to save my relationship.

Talia walked into the sitting room, trailed by Paul. He had a bouquet of red, white and pink roses in a gorgeous crystal vase and my eyes started to tear up from the sight of it.

I got up and embraced him, careful not to knock the vase over. “They’re beautiful and I am so sorry I hurt you so badly today. I know it’s easy to say the words but you mean everything to me. Can we just enjoy this awesome pre-concert gig and then get lost tonight in one another’s arms?”

He pulled away and looked at me with those gorgeous crystal blue eyes of his. “It would be my pleasure.”

When his lips met mine and we sealed our deal with a kiss, my insides melted and I knew this man had the ability to shatter me if he wanted to but he’d already made me feel unbroken. The pain was gone and there was only him and I. I wouldn’t leave him because it was the equivalent of cutting off one half of my body.

We were in this for the long haul and I could finally admit I would be willing to be there for Paul through thick and thin.