A Summer to Remember

chapter Eighteen

I didn’t drop by Paul’s apartment until Talia and I had a long talk and she agreed I should spend the night with my significant other and definitely not with her.

My attitude took me by surprise because I couldn’t believe I felt any resentment toward Paul at all. It couldn’t have been true. For God’s sake, the man had texted me as soon as he was back in the City and the only reason why he hadn’t bothered to call was because he knew Talia and I were spending the day together.

I arrived with only my expensive Hermès Birkin black leather handbag, mostly because he had given me my own closet space and I kept spare clothes, shoes and toiletries at his apartment. There was no need for the back and forth with the overnight bags. In fact, Talia had helped me move my stuff to his home the day before since I had a key and knew the doorman and concierge.

That evening, I said hello to both men before I boarded the elevator and took the ride up to his apartment. I felt like a caged rat and began to pace while trying to convince myself that there had to be some kind of explanation for what had happened between him and Ashley, if anything had happened at all.

I found it hard to believe he could have cheated on me when my brother and Savannah attended the same retreat and even if Jude shared his loyalty to his best friend, my best friend would have definitely called me up and told me what was going on.

This calmed me down a bit and as the elevator doors opened on his floor, I felt better as I walked to his apartment, only one of two on this floor because it was the floor before the penthouse suites. This apartment had been in his family for many, many years. There was a time when the Co-op wouldn’t take applications from Jews, blacks or Italians. Of course times had changed but not so much. It was still a very WASPish building and most of the owners were white and could either trace their heritage back to the goddamn Mayflower, Pennsylvania Dutch or wealthy French families who had no wish to live in the colony that would eventually become Quebec.

I slid the key inside the lock and turned it before I opened the door and closed it behind me only after I removed the key.

“Babe, is that you?” Paul called out in an excited voice.

“Yeah,” I responded and tried to conjure up more warmth that was firmly lacking from my voice.

Paul strolled into the hallway holding a bottle of Pinot Grigio before he embraced me. My arms slid around his neck and I held on tightly before I remembered a bottle separated part of our bodies from each other.

“I was just about to open this when I called your place and Talia told me you left and decided to come here tonight.”

“Then why don’t you do that and I’ll meet you in the sitting room.” I watched him walk back into the kitchen while I strolled into the sitting room and set my Birkin down on the floor.

Inside was a pack of Camel Lights yet I hadn’t had a cigarette since my university days. I was determined not to smoke but just the thought of Ashley’s words forced me to hunt down the unopened pack, tore off the filmy wrapper and grabbed a ciggie from the pack. I had a silver lighter from Tiffany & Co. and I quickly grabbed it before I stepped out onto the balcony.

The sun was setting and the mélange of golden hues was a beauty to behold. Central Park was no where from here and the view was unbelievable. There was an ashtray because Paul’s father smoked expensive Cuban cigars and I immediately lit up as I watched the traffic.

The smoke rushed into my lungs as I inhaled deeply and as I exhaled, it was like I’d never quit except for the major nicotine hit that went directly to my head. I felt light headed yet in control of the situation despite a heart that raced so fast I feared it might beat itself right out of my chest.

“What are you doing out here and I thought you quit?”

I turned toward Paul and smiled lopsided at him. “I did but after the day I’ve had…please forgive me if I am not the perfect girlfriend right now.”

He walked over and handed me a glass of white wine which I immediately sipped from before I dragged off my cigarette again.

“What happened?”

“Ashley happened…and yet again in a restaurant so I don’t know if we are mind readers for one another or what. She claimed something shady went down between you two at the retreat and you know I don’t believe her but I also hate cheating, Paul. Kevin did it to me too many times and I turned a blind eye because I didn’t want to fight with him but I’m not twenty-two anymore.”

My body faced his though I held my wine glass in my left hand while I clutched my cigarette in my right. “So tell me, did anything happen or was she just trying to wind me up? If all she wanted to do was piss me off then she did a damn good job at it because I fell for it hook, line and sinker. I hate I think anything she would say could possibly be the truth. I seriously need you to talk me down the ledge here.”

The look on his face said it all but somehow I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. All I wanted was for the earth to open up and swallow me whole. I didn’t want to hear the truth from those beautiful pink lips or those crystal blue eyes that begged for understanding and reason.

I couldn’t be reasonable, not with a situation like this.

“Paul, say something. You’re scaring me,” I whispered.

He sipped from his wine and balanced the glass on the ledge. “It’s not what you think, Jerrica. I didn’t sleep with her if that is what she told you. We were together last night and we talked and had a decent conversation. I told her about how she made me feel because she treated you so awful and she cried and begged for me to come back to her.

“I told her I couldn’t because my life was here with you and that wasn’t going to change. I explained how we were in love and then I excused myself and went to the restroom. I came back and finished my drink. This morning…I woke up in my bed naked and there was note on the bed thanking me for a great time from her. I honestly don’t remember what happened after I returned from the restroom though…I swear to God.”

It would have been comical if I couldn’t help but believe him. His brow beaded with sweat and he honestly look like he was frightened of my reaction. If the situation had been reversed and he was a woman, rape charges could be filed but what could he do? No one would believe him and I honestly didn’t want anyone to find out about this.

I was more embarrassed for him than I think he was because was it really cheating if Ashley slipped Rohypnol in his drink and he awoke the next morning with signs of sexual activity although he had no knowledge of them happening?

“You know what scares me? She comes back to you in maybe three or four months and claims she’s pregnant with your child. Then what are you going to do?” I wondered out loud.

Paul swallowed the rest of his wine in a couple of gulps. “We report it. I don’t want to press charges because if this got out…Jude might kick my ass. I mean…I have bruises and there is evidence sexual intercourse might have taken place but it wasn’t consensual on my part.

“However, it’s still my fault. I should have never left my drink unattended. That was stupidity on my part but I’d had a few before that one and I wasn’t thinking. I just assumed she was better than that. I never saw it coming and the worst part is she knew I would view the situation like this. That f*cking bitch.”

“I mean, what happens between us? I don’t know if I could handle you having a child out there, Paul. Knowing what I know and how I can’t give them to you but this bitch can spread her legs, have you ejaculate inside her and oops, she’s f*cking preggers! It pisses me off beyond all comprehension how life can be so f*cking unfair!” I stubbed my cigarette out and swigged from my wine.

“Listen, there is no way in hell her parents would allow her to have a child while she is unwed and there is no way I am marrying her.” Paul walked over and embraced me before he kissed the top of my head. “If that is how she thinks she is going to get me back then she is dead wrong. I have you and that is all I want. The kids…we talked about that, Jerri. We can adopt. There are plenty of children out there who need good homes and they will be ours, even if we don’t share the same genetics. That isn’t what makes a family…love and trust and this…what we have between us, that is what a family consists of.”

I stared into his eyes and touched his cheeks so softly. “Please promise me this won’t ruin anything between us. We can get past this, can’t we? It wasn’t your fault and I know you wouldn’t have cheated on me and rape doesn’t count. As silly as you want to think that is, she committed a crime and if she were a man, the situation would be very different.”

“I still love you more than any other woman I have ever met and I would have never done anything to hurt you intentionally. Ashley f*cked around on me so it’s not like I don’t know what that feels like. I could never prove it but I do believe she slept with Kevin while we were in a relationship together.”

My face scrunched up at the thought. “That woman needs her head examined if she slept with him while you two were going out. That man is just…ugh…the sex between us was awful. I couldn’t have an orgasm unless he gave me head and surprise, it was his least favorite activity but he loved to have someone going down on his knob. He’s the typical f*cking rich guy and she went there? The thought is just too gross to be considered let alone believed.”

“Weirder things have happened.”

“Yes, I know, like your ex slipping you a Roofie to have sex with you. That woman is seriously unhinged and I do believe we should get a restraining order against her. I don’t trust her.”

“I did one better than that: I reported the crime to the Stamford Police Department before I left. They made me give a urine sample before they sent me to the local hospital where a doctor took a blood sample as well. I was told that depending on the dosage, Rohypnol doesn’t necessarily stay in the system that long but if she gave me a medium to high dosage than it should still be present and can be up to sixty hours after it has been ingested,” he explained.

We separated reluctantly and I took another sip from my wine. “Why didn’t you tell me you already reported it when I first accused you of cheating?”

“It was important to me to have proof because the last thing I want is to lose your trust after it has taken me all this time to gain it.” Paul slipped his right hand into my left. “I know it could be some crazy conspiracy for me to cover up cheating but the doctors did a complete examination. The whole incident was notated and photographed including the bruising in, on and around my penis area. This often happens when one attempts to have sex with a man and he isn’t fully erect.

“It was stupid and the cops aren’t ever going to charge her with rape. Not of a man and she knows it. Worst case scenario is she’ll end up with a bullshit charge of ‘Reckless Endangerment’ and she’ll get off with probation and perhaps she’ll be ordered to take some anger management classes or something…I don’t know what kind of courses they would have for someone who would be insane enough to drug an ex-boyfriend for sex. I have degrees in Business Administration and Corporate Law, not criminal law.”

I wrapped my arms around his waist again and held him to me. “It’s okay, I’m glad you reported what happened because it restores my faith in you and the male species in general. I love you so much, Paul. Nothing and no one will ever come between us, you got me?”

He nodded his head. “I wouldn’t dare allow it to happen. All this dramatic bullshit just makes me angry because I fear you losing faith in me more than anything in the world.”

I smiled before I kissed his mouth and he opened himself to me before he thrust his tongue between my open lips. “What ever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?”

Paul laughed. “Damn straight, just like the Kanye song.”

I looked at him with a dubious expression. “I think that expression is older than Mr. West.”

“Hey, don’t look at me that way—I didn’t get Kim pregnant!” he exclaimed playfully.

“You so owe me Thirty Seconds to Mars concert tickets after this shit.”

“Hey, I did you one better,” he whispered into my ear. “They’ve already been bought and we’ll be attending the show in Paris. I thought if I have to compete with the drop dead gorgeous Mr. Leto, at least let him be surrounded by equally beautiful men like the French and myself for instance.”

I laughed before I said, “You’re unbelievable.”

“And you’re crazy beautiful but I love you anyway.”

Although we shouldn’t have tempted fate, I couldn’t help but kiss him again and this time, I really did put my back into it.

August

New York City & Miami Beach