A Real Disaster

Chapter Fourteen



“Oh my God. You should've told somebody. You are a victim and you shouldn't have had to take that. No one should!”

“I know that now. I was so young at the time I was scared. I wish all young girls that get in my situation go to the authorities right away. Nobody should be doing that to anybody.”

“Does Nash know any of this?” Sabrina asked finally.

I shook my head.

“No, of course not. How could I tell him something like this? He wouldn’t look at me the same way. No one ever does when they find out this stuff. That’s why I tend to keep everything a secret. I don’t want to be treated differently. I don’t want people look at me with pity. I just want to be normal.”

“You are normal,” Elizabeth said. “This… Whatever happened to you, doesn’t affect whether or not you’re normal. You’re a victim Lily. You didn’t ask for this. Whoever thinks that somehow you allowed this is stupid.”

I was relieved that neither of the girls turned away from me. I wouldn’t know how to handle it if they did. They were the closest friends I had here and I didn’t want to ruin that.

“But you should talk to Nash,” Sabrina said. “Maybe not tell him the whole story but tell him something. Don’t keep shutting him out because you’re scared. He doesn’t want to hurt you.”

“How do you know?”

I looked at Sabrina, convinced she wasn’t paying attention. Her head was down and she was fiddling with her phone.

“Sabrina?”

“I know that Nash has some type of reputation as a heartbreaker but trust me, he’s not as horrible as people make him out to be,” she said, finally looking back up at me. “Deep down, he cares more about people than they realize.”

“How do you know all of this about Nash and Turner?” I questioned.

Sabrina seemed to know Nash and Turner better than she let on.

But why?

How?

“I… It’s not important,” Sabrina said, brushing off my question. “I just know them, both of them.”

The more she evaded the question, the more I was itching to know.

“Tell me,” I pushed. “You seem to know them a lot more than just meeting them a year ago. Come on, I won’t tell either of them what you said.”

“It doesn’t matter how,” Sabrina said, her eyes narrowing. “Stop pushing it, Lily, okay? Just drop it.”

I opened my mouth to argue but I knew it would be no use. Sabrina wasn’t going to tell me at all. Whatever secret she was keeping I knew she would take it to her grave.

Maybe I could ask Turner… Turner had to know the answer that I was so desperately seeking.

“Okay, I’ll stop,” I said and Sabrina looked at me with surprise.

I figured she was waiting for more arguing, more complaining on my part. I was just going to have to get the answers from another source.

“So are you going to talk to Nash?” Elizabeth asked.

“No.”

The light mood vanished and I was back to facing my own dilemma.

“I can’t. I don’t know what to say.”

There was a knock on the door and I frowned. I wasn’t expecting anyone and I didn’t think Sabrina was either.

“Well you better think of something quick because there’s your knight in not-so-shining armor.”

I looked at my roommate, panicking.

“What did you do?” I whispered as there was another knock on the door. “I told you that I didn’t want to speak to him! Now what the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Look, I know you don’t want to speak to him. But I also know that you like him a lot and you’re just scared. You don’t want to get hurt and I get that but you can’t run from this forever.”

After the third knock on the door Sabrina sat up straight.

“Come in,” Sabrina called and the door swung open.

My hands were clammy and all of a sudden my throat was dry. I tried to ignore the gnawing in my stomach as I stared at him. Sabrina stood up and took Elizabeth by the hand.

“Come on Lizzie, we have to go get some nail polish and stuff.”

She gave me a meaningful look.

“See you two later.”

Sabrina and Elizabeth disappeared into the hallway and closed the door behind them, trapping me in the small space with Nash.

What was I going to do? What was I going to say? He was staring at me. I had to say something.

“Hey there,” Nash said. His voice was soft and tentative.

“Sabrina said you wanted to talk.”

“I guess,” I bit out and then hung my head. “I do want to talk… I just don’t know what to say. Or how to say it?”

“Say what?”

“I don’t know, that’s the problem,” I wailed, throwing up my hands.

Nash took a slow step towards me and reached out his hand until it clasped mine.

“Why are you here? I told you that I needed you to leave me alone. I can’t be around you, not right now and maybe not ever. You… You make me feel too much.”

“Why is feeling a bad thing?” Nash asked.

“Because you make me feel vulnerable. Like there is a chance that I can be a normal girl.”

“But you are normal.”

“And what if I’m not? What if you know nothing about me and you only think you do? What if there’s this whole other side of me… A dark side… That I’m hiding?”

“I know all that I have to know about you,” Nash said. “I know that you’re beautiful, smart, witty, and tough. I know that you’ll be the one who keeps me in line and yet keeps letting me know how much she loves me. I know that, even if you put up a tough front, all you want to do is be loved. This is all I need to know about. The supposed dark side, the stuff you don’t want to tell me, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care about your past, whatever it may be. You’re here, today, right now, that’s the only person I need. It’s the only person I want.”

“I’m just no fun.”

“Yeah you are. We can have fun together. I want to enjoy warm nights with you walking through campus. I want to take you to my concerts and be able to look at you while I’m playing. I… I want you, period.”

How easy it would be to let myself be swept up with Nash. I could picture us, the two of us, walking around hand and hand. I could picture waking up next to him and having some breakfast in the early morning sun wearing nothing but his button down shirt. I could picture it all and it all seemed so… Perfect.

But there was no real perfection.

Things wouldn’t stay like that. One day everything would fall to pieces, just like my past, and I would be left with a shattered heart in my hands. It already happened once and we weren’t even dating. What happens if it happened again after we were involved? It was a chance that I wasn’t sure I wanted to take.

But if I didn’t take a chance with my life who would?

“Please,” Nash begged. “I know that I f*cking screwed up and I know that you don’t trust me but, please, just give me another chance. Let me prove to you that I can be the guy you want… No…Deserve to have.”

“Okay,” I whispered, finally relenting. “I’ll give you another chance.”

Nash turned me to him and tilted my head up with his two fingers. His lips pressed against mine, neither hesitant nor pushy. He was giving me the chance, the option. I would set the mood and pace.


The dampness of my mound greatened with the touch of our lips and I shifted, halting our kiss only to pull my shirt from my body. Nash did the same and then my bra was gone. Wrapping his well-toned arms around me, Nash pulled me close until our bare chests were touching. I moaned and Nash nibbled my ear lobe before sucking on the sensitive skin right behind it. I moaned again and my hands found the button of Nash’s jeans. My heart hammered and my hands trembled as I tried to pull the button free. Nash trailed kisses from my ear down my neck, stopping to tease his tongue against my collar bone. His hands worked my pants and underwear down until they were pooled in a pile around my ankles. I shifted, releasing my ankles from their shackles.

“Nash,” I gasped as his fingers found my sweet, throbbing *.

“Yes,” he said to me. “What do you want?”

“I want…” I panted.

Now Nash was rubbing my * with his fingers, slowly, tantalizing me as he stared at me.

“Tell me what you want,” Nash said. “I want…”

I couldn’t think, let alone come up with a coherent sentence. As Nash played with me with one hand, he slid his own pants and boxers down, kicking them away from us.

“Nash!” I growled in frustration.

His pressure against my * grew and a knot of delight tightened in the base of my stomach.

“Please Nash.”

“Not until you tell me what you want,” he said, even though he knew exactly what I wanted; what I needed. “So tell me... Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

Putting my hand over his, I tried to push his fingers in, but he resisted, keeping me on the edge. I was wound tighter than a brand new guitar and I was teetering at the edge with no hope of falling over into a flood of release.

“Nash,” I whimpered as I tried again, in vain, to get him to help me over the edge.

“No,” Nash said fiercely. “Not until you tell me exactly what you want.”

He’s was trying to kill me! He was trying to drive me mad with unresolved passion. I paused, staring at him through passion filled haze.

F*ck this.

I pulled myself away from him. He paused, momentarily surprised, and I used that time to push him down onto his back, his erection standing stiff and straight.

“What the-”

The rest of his words were cut off as I swung my leg around him and straddled his lean torso. I didn’t know exactly what I was doing but that didn’t stop me from trying. Gripping his hands and keeping them pinned above his head, I lowered myself onto him, pausing only to let my body get used to the new sensation. Now it was Nash that groaned. Leaning my body forward, I put my lips next to his ear.

“Tell me what you want,” I whispered as I ground against his penis, lifting my body up and back down.

Bracing my legs, I continued my rhythm as Nash thrashed about.

“I want to touch you,” he moaned, begged really.

“No,” I said with a wicked grin.

I was enjoying this far too much.

“No touching, only watching… While I touch.”

“And how are you going to stop me?” Nash challenged. “You can’t let go of me so you can’t touch yourself. You’re going to lose…”

“Oh God,” Nash murmured as I continued to grind on him. “God damn you’re sexy, Lily.”

I finally let go of Nash freeing his hands to grab my breasts. I slid one of my hands down my body and began to play with my own *, pinching it and rubbing it. Heat built up in my body and my legs trembled.

“F*ck,” Nash moaned. “Come here, now.”

I shook my head even as my stomach clenched.

“F*ck yeah!. Keep going...”

He grabbed my breasts harder and rocked into to me taking complete control. With a guttural cry, I finally let myself go and shook as the orgasm overcame me. Seconds later Nash moaned and his body jerked.

“F*ck,” he murmured, drowsily.

Nash pulled me close tucking me against his body. Closing my eyes, I drifted off to sweet oblivion.



* * *



Hours later my eyes opened and I saw Nash staring down at me, my hair twirled around his fingers.

“Hey there,” he whispered as he brushed his fingers over my cheek. “Sleep well.”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “You?”

“Great now that you’re next to me.”

Nash rolled on his back and pulled me to him until my head was on his chest and I could hear his heart beating. Despite everything I said to Sabrina, and the drama that Nash and I had been through, I finally felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, or even the end of the week, but it felt right, now. I wanted to live in the moment, taking it one day at a time.

“Let’s go away this weekend,” Nash suggested. “Let’s go away and have some time together, just you and me. What do you say?”

“I can’t,” I murmured against his chest. “I have midterms to study for.”

“I’ll help you study for them and we can hang out. Come on.”

It sounded great. Actually, it sounded more than great; it sounded perfect.

“But my midterms. If I fail… My father will kill me and bring me back home on the first plane they can book me a seat on.”

“They can’t control you.”

“Yeah they can, I’d lose my scholarship and have nowhere to go but home.”

I looked at Nash, who was frowning.

“Well we can just stay here and study. I can help...”

He was actually serious about helping?

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“After my midterms,” I promised. “We can go somewhere. Okay?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

He kissed the top of my head and I felt my face warming. I let my eyes close once again. Sabrina was right; talking to Nash had been the best thing that I could have ever do.