“I love you too,” she said in the saddest voice he’d ever heard. Because she loved him, she was letting him go. Somewhere in her heart she thought it was right for him to go back to Megan, and what he wanted, so she wasn’t trying to hold on to him, or stop him, or convince him otherwise. Besides, she was too proud. It seemed cleaner to just release him, with no strings.
He picked up his bags then, opened the front door, and rang for the elevator, and a minute later he was standing in it and looking at her. She gave him a small wave as he stared at her, and the door closed. She almost fainted as she walked back into the apartment. She wanted to scream. She had never been in so much pain in her life. It was a powerful reminder to her not to fall in love again.
Chapter 14
THE DAYS DRAGGED by after Simon left, and Blaise filled them as she always did, with work. With Susie Quentin back in Miami, there was no one else lusting after her job for the moment, and she was working on upcoming specials, doing her morning segment, and planning interviews abroad. She put off the trip to Lebanon. She wanted to stay home for a few weeks to make sure that Becky was working out with Salima. Neither Blaise nor Salima had any real objection to her, although Salima said she was boring. She had the personality of a mouse, and she started off on the wrong foot.
She took Salima’s clothes out for her in the morning and put the toothpaste on her brush for her, trying to be helpful, and Salima snapped at her that she wasn’t a child, she was almost twenty years old. Abby had done it for her, and Salima had liked it, but Simon had led her into a whole other world and treated her like an adult. Salima texted him several times a day, and he always responded. Salima always went discreetly into another room to listen to his texts, so she could hear them in private and not upset her mother. But Blaise didn’t hear a word from him after he left, and was sure she wouldn’t. She didn’t call or write to him either, and hearing the sorrow in her mother’s voice, Salima didn’t mention him anymore, or tell her about the texts.
“I’m sorry, Mom, about Simon,” she said one Sunday night, when Blaise was trying to cook them dinner. She was roasting a chicken, and attempting one of his recipes for risotto. She burned the chicken beyond recognition, and the rice turned into cement.
“I’m fine,” she said about Simon, trying to believe it. She had to be. He wasn’t coming back, and she had to take care of Salima and work. She couldn’t afford the luxury of falling apart over a man, no matter how much she had loved him. She had learned that lesson with Andrew. And as though he had radar, Andrew had called the day after Simon left. Blaise didn’t take the call and didn’t even care. And for the first time, she knew she would never answer his calls again. She had no desire to talk to Andrew. She was finally healed. Loving Simon had freed her, no matter how it worked out in the end.
“I guess I need a class at Cordon Bleu,” Blaise said when they ordered sushi after she threw away the charred chicken and inedible rice. The smell was awful.
Becky had offered to cook for Salima, but her cooking was even worse than Blaise’s. Blaise felt like they had lost so much when Simon left. The laughter in their house. The excitement for Salima over their outings. Delicious dinners. Someone for her to talk to at night, who cared about her. Now Blaise was left with silent evenings, too much work, and no one to ask her how she was. The only thing that made the atmosphere a little better was Salima singing with Lucianna or practicing every night.
By Valentine’s Day, he had been gone for three weeks, and it felt like a year to Blaise. Salima was starting to adjust to Becky, who was trying hard. They had made Valentine cupcakes that afternoon, for Salima to give to her mother to cheer her up. She knew how sad she was even though she didn’t talk about it or mention Simon’s name. And when Becky said something about him in passing, Blaise always fell silent and changed the subject, or left the room. She had bought a special Valentine cake for Salima, made with artificial sweeteners. It was a big chocolate heart with pink icing, which was a rare treat for her. But with careful planning, Salima could indulge from time to time. And Salima had bought her tulips too.
Lucianna joined them in eating the cake after their lesson, and she asked Salima with some concern if her mother wasn’t feeling well. Blaise was so depressed she looked sick. In her office, Mark was worried about it too and tried urging her to see her doctor, which she refused to do.
“I don’t need a doctor,” she told him. “I’m just feeling down. No one ever died from that.”