“I am?” She couldn’t believe it.
“Yes, your HCG levels are quite high, which is a good sign if you want to keep it. From the dates you gave me for your last normal period, you’re ten weeks the way we figure it, eight from the date of conception, which must have been in early January. You’re two months pregnant. And if that’s not what you want, then you’ll have to do something about it in the next month.” He said it matter-of-factly. Blaise felt like the air had been sucked out of her lungs. What in hell was she going to do? “You should call your gynecologist for a visit soon. She’ll want to get an early sonogram, but apparently you haven’t had any problems.” And as he said it, Blaise realized that she had missed a period in January, right at the time Simon left, and she thought it was because she was upset and not eating. And she had just missed one again. She had paid no attention. “You should be able to hear a heartbeat by now when you see your doctor.” Oh my God. She almost threw up. No wonder her stomach had been so upset. She was panicked as she thanked the doctor, hung up, picked up her bag and coat, and started to leave the office, as Mark looked up from his desk.
“What did the doctor say?” He hadn’t had time to ask her since the day before, and he looked concerned.
“I’m anemic, and I picked up some kind of virus on one of my trips.” There was no way she was going to tell him that she was two months pregnant. She was not going to have another baby, especially now, with Simon back with Megan. It was unthinkable. His silence confirmed that he’d gone back to her and stayed. She hadn’t even wanted a baby while he was with her.
“Well, at least you know what’s wrong. Your doctor faxed over a prescription, by the way. I’ll fill it for you tomorrow.”
“Thanks,” she said, and flew out the door. She wanted to run away from everyone, but where could she go?
Much to her relief, there was no one in the apartment when she got home. She had forgotten that Salima was going to a Mozart concert at Carnegie Hall with Lucianna, and they had taken Becky with them. Salima wanted to expose her to the cultural events she knew nothing about and had never experienced before. Becky was starting to really enjoy New York, and although she wasn’t Simon, Salima liked her. She was an honest, decent, kind girl, wanted to learn, and tried hard. And Blaise agreed.
When Blaise walked into her room, she stared out the window at Central Park. There was still snow on the ground, and she tried to keep from calculating seven months forward to when this baby would be born. It was due the first of October. She didn’t want to give it a birthday. She didn’t want it at all. She thought of calling Simon, but that seemed so wrong. She was sure he was back with Megan. His silence since he’d left confirmed it to her, and she’d been very firm about letting him go and not trying to hang on to him. And even if she was having his baby, she didn’t want to use it to lure him back to her. He needed to be with someone his own age. But this was a disaster for her. The last thing she wanted was to have a baby alone at her age. It had been hard enough with Harry, who was never there and an uninterested father, although his real lack of interest had only happened when Salima got sick. Before that, he’d been sweet with her, when he was home, which wasn’t often. And Blaise had traveled just as much as he did, and now she traveled more. There was no room for a baby in her life. And what would Salima think? And the network. A thousand things were racing through her mind as she lay down on her bed and started to cry. And then she told herself that there was nothing to be scared of. She would have an abortion, and no one would ever know. But what about Simon? Didn’t he have a right to know? Her mind was whirling, as she lay in tears on the bed, utterly exhausted and overwrought, and fell asleep.
Chapter 15