Trying Not To Love You

The next morning when everyone got up, things seemed to be less intense between everyone. Mason seemed to be in a much better mood, and I am sure Hailey was to thank for that. We all hung around Hunter's until lunchtime when Mason and Cooper had to leave to go back to school.

We were all saying our goodbyes when Mason pulled me aside. I knew this was coming. "I don't like it, Kenz." He ran his hand through his hair. "I know you don't understand. You might be pissed off but I'm just protecting you. You just had your heartbroken; I don't want to see you go through that again."

"Mase…" he cut me off before I could finish telling him I agreed.

"I know what happened last summer. I heard all of it. I was there that night you thought everyone was gone."

Shit. How embarrassing that he heard me tell Hunter that I wanted him.

"I told Hunter to stay away from you. I know he broke your heart that night because he didn't have the balls to tell you back then that he loved you. I'm just protecting you."

This is why Mason and I had a love/hate relationship; sometimes he was too over protective. "Mase I love you, but sometimes you need to let me learn my own lessons. You can't always be here to protect me."

"Well, while I am here, I am going to protect you. Please, for me, just stay away from him, and give yourself some time. I know he told me he loves you but he hasn't told you."

He was right. Hunter did not tell me directly that he loved me. I understood where Mason was coming from. I was not ready to think about loving someone else right now. I needed to concentrate on me, no one else but me.

"Get over here and hug me goodbye."

I hugged Mason, then walked over and said my goodbyes to Cooper, and then they left to head back to Boston. Hailey and I went back inside to help clean up our mess and then had Hunter take us back to the dorms.

God, I did not want to go back there.

Before we left Hunter asked me to take a walk out on the beach with him for a few minutes. Hailey just smiled at me and nodded her head at me.

I walked down the steps to the beach, slipped off my flip-flops and stepped into the sand. I loved the feel of sand on my feet; it had a way of massaging my feet. Hunter came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me and just held me for a while.

Hunter rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I know you need space, so I'm going to give it to you but I just want you to know I'll be here waiting for you when you're ready. There is no one else CC that has ever had my heart like you. I'm sorry I never told you how I felt back then."

I did not answer him right away; I just stared out over the ocean. "Why now?" I asked.

He took a few minutes before he answered me. "After what I saw that asshat put you through, I can't have you going through that again. It is killing me seeing you like this. I know I f*cked up last summer when I bailed on you like that, but you caught me off guard." He took a deep breath and then let it out. "I didn't know what to do."

"I get it, I do, but you hurt me too. I cannot go through that again. I need time."

"Your right, I did and it's been killing me ever since that night. I thought leaving you alone was the right thing to do. You met Dominic when I left for school, so I thought you were over me and I stayed away." He kissed the side of my head then continued. "I'll be here when you are ready to talk, but I didn't just say what I said because I was pissed that Dominic was asking you to marry him. I mean it CC."

"What did you tell Mason? I want to hear it from you." I needed him to tell me those three words more than I needed anything right now.

"You're not ready to hear them again." He let go of me, reached for my hand and walked us back to the house. I was slipping my flip-flops back on when he said, "When you're ready to hear those words I'll tell you. I'll tell you a million times, but I need you to know I mean them when I say them.

That was the problem; I needed to hear them now. He would not tell me and I could not handle that. I was already broken. I could not let him break me anymore then I already am. I need time to figure out things. "Ok let's go; I want to go home."



Over the next few weeks, I concentrated on me, school, work and nothing else. I was lucky enough that I had not run into Dominic at all since that night. I did see him a few times around campus, but I always turned and went the other way. Hunter, on the other hand, I still saw. We would still go to lunch after class, but that was it. I never went over to his house when Hailey hung out with him and Zeke. I was not trying to be a bitch but I just needed time, time to deal with all my shit.

Tuesday after class Hunter, Hailey and I were going home for Thanksgiving break. I could not wait. I missed being home. I had been talking to my mom a lot lately, trying to plan different things for Chloe's baby shower that weekend. That was a huge distraction for me. I knew once I was home, I would be busy. We were having everyone over for dinner Thursday, going shopping Black Friday and then Saturday was Chloe's baby shower. Mom planned it that weekend since we would all be home. Chloe was due in just three weeks; I was excited about becoming an aunt. I know Jackson was extremely nervous about becoming a father, but regardless, he was going to be a great dad.

Hunter called to make sure we were packed and ready to go on Tuesday. He wanted to get on the road before rush hour traffic started. "Yeah, I just put the last of my things in my bag."

"Alright I'm on my way over now; see you in a few CC."

"Alright, bye." I hung up the phone and asked, "Hails, are you ready? Hunter is on his way over."

"Yes, let's get the hell out of here. I miss my bed back home."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Is that all you miss?"

"What else would I miss?" She asked, sitting on her bed, twirling her hair around her finger.

"Oh I don't know, maybe my brother?"

She started to blush and I knew that she was missing him like crazy. "No, why would you think that?" Then she started giggling.

"Yeah, sure" I answered, rolling my eyes at her.

There was a knock at the door and I yelled, "It's open." I was expecting it to be Hunter but it was not. It was Dominic.

Hailey jumped off her bed, stood next to me and said, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came by to say Happy Thanksgiving to Kenzie and to make sure she had a ride home."

"Yes, Hunter is giving us a ride home. Now please leave." Just as I finished my sentence, the door flew open and Hunter walked in with a murderous look on his face.

"What the f*ck are you doing here? I thought I made it pretty clear to stay the f*ck away from her." Hunter walked over and shoved Dominic towards the door.

"Chill out Hunter. I was just checking to make sure she had a ride home. I know Chloe's baby shower is this weekend, and she is looking forward to it. I would have called but she changed her number."

The day after all the shit went down, Cooper called and had my number changed, so there would be no way for him to get in contact with me.

"Yeah well, she did that for a reason Dom. Now get the f*ck out."

Dominic looked over to me before he turned and walked out the door. I did not understand why he was trying to hang onto me. He did this to us, not me. He was expecting a baby in a few months for Christ sakes.

"You okay CC?" Hunter asked.

"Yes. Ready to go, Hailey?"

"Yes please, before any more bullshit goes down."

The ride home was fairly quiet. I sat up front with Hunter while Hailey curled up in the back and fell asleep. I was not in the best of moods since Dominic made his impromptu visit. Hunter could sense it, so he let me be. I was trying to get comfortable enough to take a nap but I just could not find the right position. Finally settling in, Hunter reached over and grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together. I fell asleep within minutes.

Hunter squeezed my hand, and I slowly started to wake up to him saying, "CC, we're home."

I stretched and asked, "You coming in to say hi to everyone, or are you going to head home?"

"I'm going to drop Hailey off then head home. Mom and Jaylinn are waiting for me. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok." I put my hand on the door handle and dropped his hand that was still holding onto mine, but stopped before I got out. "Thanks again for everything Hunter."

He smiled that smile that I loved so much and said, "Anytime."

I got out of the truck and made my way around to the bed where Hunter met me to hand me my bags. Before I could grab it, he reached over, pulled me into a hug and he kissed the top of my head.

I hugged him back and said, "Bye Hunter. When you wake Hailey up, tell her I will call her tomorrow."

"Sure."

I walked towards the house, so happy to be home and away from school for a few days. When I walked in, my mom sat on the couch reading and my dad sat next to her, watching TV.

"There's our baby girl." Mom said when I came into her view.

"Hey mom, hey dad, I'm exhausted. I'm going to head on up to bed. We'll talk more in the morning." I said while yawning.

"Ok, you need me to make you anything to eat?" Mom asked.

"No, we stopped before we got here. I just need some sleep."

I went up to my room, loving the comfortable feeling being home already gave me. As soon as I opened my door, I dropped my bags, went to lie on my bed and fell into a peaceful sleep.





The next morning after I got up and took a much-needed shower, I made my way downstairs. My mom was in the kitchen making breakfast. When I went in, my entire family, including Hunter, Hailey, Jaylinn, and Mrs. McCormick were sitting at the table.

"Well, look who decided to finally grace us with her presence," my dad said as he got up from the table to wrap his arms around me.

"Morning, guess I was more tired than I thought I was. I feel a lot better today. So Chloe, are you ready for this weekend? How's my nephew been treating you?"

"Girl he never stops moving. I am so uncomfortable. I cannot wait for this to be over. I have to wake Jackson up all the time because I keep getting bad back cramps and I can't get up out of bed."

"Aww, leave my nephew alone. He's getting tough before he comes into this family. He's gonna need his muscles with all his uncles around," I said smiling at her.

"I just can't wait until I get to finally hold him in my arms."

"I bet. So what's the plans today mom?" I went to sit at the only open seat at the table, which happened to be next to Hunter. He leaned over and whispered good morning in my ear. I replied by reaching for his hand under the table and giving it a squeeze. I cast a quick glance in Mason's direction and saw him glaring at me.

"Well, you and I need to get all the decorations for the shower and stop by the hall and check it out real quick. Then we're going to come back and pick up all the girls and go get pedicures."

That sounded relaxing, and was just what I needed. "Ok sounds good. Hails, you going too?"

"No, I'm good. I have to spend some time with my mom," she told me, looking displeased.

The rest of breakfast consisted of small talk made by everyone. Hunter and I eyed each other the whole time and he found small ways to touch me. I could not explain the feelings I was developing for Hunter, but I knew for sure that every time I was with him, I felt safe and at ease. I guess my heart had finally started to heal.

After cleaning up from breakfast, mom and I headed out to the party store to pick up decorations, balloons, party favors and everything else we needed for Chloe's shower. After stopping by the hall, which was beautiful and perfect for the baby shower, we went to the grocery store to pick up last minute things for Thanksgiving dinner. About an hour later, we were finally on our way home, but when we pulled into the driveway, Jackson was outside, pacing back and forth.

"Hey Jackson, what's going on?" I asked, walking towards the trunk to grab some of the bags.

"Chloe is having back cramps again and she keeps crying because they are causing her so much pain. She just kicked me out and told me to go take a walk."

Mom walked over to him and grabbed his arm, pulling him to the trunk of the car to help with the bags. "Jackson, you need to calm down. You are making this worse for her. Help me and your sister get these bags in the house and then I'll go talk to her and see if she wants to go to the hospital."

"Mom, I'm not ready for this yet." Jackson was a nervous wreck. It was kind of cute seeing him like that because normally, he was the big tough guy. "We don't have anything set up at the apartment; we haven't even had the shower yet."

"Jackson, just relax. We are all here, and we will help you and Chloe with everything." Mom reassured him.

We got all the bags into the house. Jaylinn, Mrs. McCormick and I put all the food away while mom and Jackson went upstairs to check on Chloe. Thirty minutes later, mom and Chloe came downstairs and asked if I was ready to go get our pedicures.

"Chloe, are you sure you are up to going?" She still did not look as if she felt very well. Her flushed cheeks and pinched eyes let me know her pain had not gone away.

"Yeah, I need to get out and get my mind off this pain. The doctor said if I still have these pains by tomorrow morning to head over to the hospital. I was just at the doctor on Monday. With my being only two centimeters dilated, I am probably experiencing painful Braxton Hicks contractions. They aren't coming close together or anything, so he isn't too worried."

What the hell is a Braxton Hicks? "I have no idea what the hell that means, but if you still want to go, let's go." I told her laughing.

By the time we finished our pedicures, and had stopped for ice cream, Chloe said that she was feeling much better. We got home and convinced Jackson that Chloe really was fine, so they headed home for the night.

Heading up the stairs to my room, I thought I heard Hailey's giggle. I stopped and waited for it again. I needed to make sure it was Hailey before I walked in on Mason or Cooper with some girl. I heard it again and knew that it was definitely Hailey's giggle. I knocked on Mason and Cooper's door. Cooper opened it and I saw Hails and Mason on his bed. Cooper and his friend Amy were sitting on his bed. Hunter and some blonde I did not know were sitting on the floor.

"Hey Hails, I thought I heard you. What are you up to?" I made sure not to look in Hunter's direction.

What the hell was he doing?

"Just hanging out. I came over to see you, thinking you would have been back by now, but Mason said you were still out with your mom and Chloe."

I glanced over at Hunter, then the girl next to him and then back to Hailey again. I said, "Ok, well, I don't want to interrupt you guys. I'll see you later." I turned around, shut the door and walked towards my room.

What the hell was Hunter doing with that girl? So f*cking much for him waiting for me.

Just as I was about to open my door, Hunter called my name. I turned to him and said, "Hunter, whatever you are about to say, don't. Just go back in there, and I'll see you later." I walked into my room, locked the door and grabbed my iPod. I cranked the music on full blast and started to clean my room. If he tried to knock, I did not hear him. Around midnight, I fell into an exhausted sleep.

The next morning I woke up early and went downstairs to help my mom start cooking for Thanksgiving. I needed to stay busy so I would not think about Hunter. I needed to focus on me. I would not survive my heart being broken again.

"Good morning baby girl, how did you sleep?" Mom asked from the sink where she was washing the turkey out.

"I slept just fine. What do you need help with?"

"Start with making the stuffing."

The rest of the morning and early afternoon, I stayed busy helping my mom in the kitchen getting everything ready. A few hours before dinner, I went upstairs to take a shower and get myself ready before everyone came over. As I was going back downstairs, I ran into Hunter on the stairs.

"Hey."

"Hey, got a second to talk?"

"No, I need to get back downstairs and help mom get everything out for dinner…maybe later."

"CC, please don't do this. I don't want you pissed off at me. I'm not interested in that girl; I was just talking to her. She came with Amy. I couldn't just ignore her." I knew she did not mean anything to him. How could she? We have not even been here for months, but still, it bothered me.

"Hunter we aren't together. It doesn't matter who you talk to or don't. Now please excuse me; I need to go help mom." I refused to give in to my emotions. I wanted to hug him and tell him I believed him. I just could not take a chance with my still-mending heart.

"We're talking about this later CC," he stated.

Nodding my head, I passed him on the stairs and went to the kitchen to help mom set the table for dinner. I loved Thanksgiving dinner; we always got together, ate way too much food and watched football. I was setting the table when mom walked in with the turkey; once everything was on the table, we all sat down to eat. Everything was going great. Jackson and Chloe were there, but you could tell she was not feeling well and it looked like Jackson had not slept in days.

I kept feeling Hunters eyes on me throughout dinner. I caught Cooper looking at me and then at Hunter and shaking his head. I was not giving off any kind of signals so I do not know what he was thinking.

I think Mason caught on to the tension that was coming off Hunter and me because he spoke up. "Kenzie, what's wrong with you? You are really quiet today?"

"Nothing, I'm fine, just a lot going on lately. I'm good though, nothing I can't handle."

"Is Dominic still harassing you at school?" he asked.

"He is leaving me alone for the most part. How are things going with you and Hailey?" I already knew the answer; I just did not want to talk about Dominic.

"Good." Mason looked over at Hunter and asked, "Are you seeing anyone?"

"No, I'm hoping this girl from school will give me a chance, but lately she has been really distant, so we will see what happens."

Mason just glared at him when he said that. I was curious enough to ask, "Have I met this girl? I don't remember seeing anyone hanging around."

"Guess you're not paying attention then." Hunter's cell phone chirped. He reached in his pocket, read the message then cursed under his breath and stood up.

"I have to go. Thanks for dinner Mr. and Mrs. Cahill. Mom, Jay, I'll see you guys a little later. I'll be back before dessert and then I'll take you home."

"Dude, what's going on?" Cooper asked, standing up to follow Hunter into the kitchen with his plate. I could not hear what he said but when Cooper came back in, he looked at Mason and nodded his head.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked, with panic in my voice. The last time something like this happened, I found out my boyfriend was having a baby with another girl. I could not handle anything else.

"Nothing, everything is good. Hunter just had to go take care of something." Cooper said.

"Quit the bullshit Cooper, what's wrong?" I said glaring at him.

"Relax, it's nothing; he'll be back. If he wants you to know, he can tell you when he comes back."

"Whatever!" I yelled. I got up, took my plate to the kitchen and then went to the living room to watch the football game. I heard my mom and dad ask everyone what was going on, but Cooper and Mason just told them everything was fine. I must have fallen asleep on the couch because I woke to Hunter rubbing my arm.

I sat up as soon as I saw his split lip and the welt on his cheek; obliviously he got into some kind of fight. "Oh my God Hunter, what happened? Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine, just had to go take care of something."

I reached out to touch his lip and he winced at first then kissed my finger. I stood up and pushed Hunter to sit on the couch. "I'll be right back." I disappeared into the kitchen to grab some ice. Mom looked over at me and asked if I was ok. I nodded my head to her and left the kitchen quickly.

"Here put this on your lip and cheek." I told him. His cheek was already turning black and blue.

"CC I'm fine really. Can we talk now?" Hunter asked, grabbing the ice from me and placing it on his lip.

"Yeah but not in here with everyone; let's go outside."

"It's raining."

"I need to get out of here." I told him. I really did not want to talk to him about us with the possibility of someone over hearing.

"Ok, let's go."

Hunter grabbed my hand, led me outside into the pouring rain and to his truck parked at the end of the driveway. He stopped walking when we reached his truck, looked from the ground to my lips and then he took a step closer to me, pushing me until my back was up against the cold wet truck. He reached up and cupped my face. "I'm done trying to stay away," he sighed then continued. "I can't do it anymore. I need you like my life depends on it." The rain was streaming down on us but right now, I did not care. "I just need you." He gently pulled my head to him and whispered, "I am going to kiss you now."

That is exactly what he did. I was tired of fighting my feelings for him, tired of being upset, just tired. That kiss was amazing; it had all the passion and longing we had been holding onto for so long. That is when the dam finally broke for me and I started crying. I knew right then that Hunter was the only one I wanted. He was my happily ever after.