“I can and I am.” I lifted my head, meeting his eyes. “I won’t run. It’s not my style.”
“You’ll never be able to forget the things you see. They’ll remain with you forever, and you won’t be able to face yourself the next day for witnessing them.” Disco placed his hand on my knee, his fingers quaking in fury. “He’ll destroy you,” he whispered hoarsely, the words strained.
The hell he will.
Revenald might but be one bad motherfucker, but I’d dealt with his kind before. Evil came in many forms, from human to demon. If I ran now, nothing I’d faced in the past would matter. I’d be just like everyone else—dodging my own shadow.
“He can try.”
Disco’s hand left my knee and he grabbed a handful of my hair at the nape, forcing my head back. “Damn you. This isn’t a game.”
“I didn’t say it was.” I didn’t fight or wince as his grip intensified. “But I won’t let you sacrifice yourself for me. I’m not afraid to face what’s coming.”
“Tell her,” Paine said, moving closer to us. “If she’s going to stay, she deserves to know.”
Disco let me go and took a step back. “Tonight you’re not going to be our equal. You’ll be expected to do anything and everything Revenald says. He’ll humiliate and degrade you for sport. He doesn’t want you to bend, he wants you to break. You are nothing more than a human who has overstepped her bounds. He’ll exploit your weaknesses. Once he knows what they are, he’ll use them against you.”
Marius’s words came back to haunt me. What I’ve done to you is nothing. It’s a scratch on otherwise pristine armor.
“After tonight, he’ll leave?” I could survive one night of being treated like shit. At least that’s what I told myself. The rest of it—such as the horrific things I’d see—were obstacles I didn’t want to face yet.
“If you give him what he wants, then yes,” Paine replied. “His vampiric house is one of the most respected in the world. If you can prove you’re his to command, he’ll keep you around.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because he’s egotistical and arrogant,” Disco’s answer was more of a snarl. “Word of your power has spread through the community. Knowing he controls the most powerful necromancer in vampire circles will elevate his status among half-demons. Not only will they respect him, they’ll fear him. That’s the only reason he didn’t have Marius kill you. He knows that if he did, half-demons would assume he is afraid of what he can’t control. His pride won’t stand for that.”
It would be hard to bite my tongue and take the bastard’s shit, but I could do it. Anyone could survive anything for a short period of time. I pushed thoughts of Marigold Vesta aside. Now it was about jumping one hurdle at a time.
“I’ll do what he wants.”
“It’s not in your nature to submit.” Paine didn’t sound convinced. “Or to stand back while another suffers.”
“I’ll help her, if she’ll allow it.” Disco didn’t sound happy, which was a good thing. I didn’t exactly like the idea of functioning under his influence either.
“By controlling me?”
“If you do what Revenald wants, you won’t be able to face yourself in the morning. If I make you do as he says...”
I knew he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence, so I did. “Then I can blame you instead.” After we’d made peace, coming to terms with what he’d done, I’d be put in a position that might make me hate him all over again.
What fucking bullshit.
“Let him, Rhiannon,” Paine said with a measure of calm I was certain he didn’t feel. “Getting through the evening is going to be hard on all of us. If you’re determined to stay, give us this small amount of comfort.”