“Anton isn’t a mere half-demon, he’s a sadist. Do you hear me? He’s. A. Sadist.” Paine appeared in front of me using vampire speed, stopped, and grasped my arms so hard I winced. “If he’s coming here, it’s not to watch Revenald put you in your place, it’s to force him to. If Revenald backs down, he’ll lose face. Word will spread that he’s become weak. When that happens, other half-demons will start challenging his right to his territory. Half-demons thrive on misery and chaos. Put two of them together and...” Paine let me go, taking a step back, eyes haunted. “I don’t want to know what they’ve planned together. I don’t even want to think about it.”
“Then don’t think about it.” I was unbalanced by the fear in Paine’s gaze, experiencing a suffocating surge of terror, but I tried to keep my feelings under wraps. “Just promise me that you won’t interfere.”
“Ask all you want,” Paine replied dryly. “The answer will remain the same.”
“She’s made up her mind, and we both know she’s foolish, stubborn and hardheaded,” Disco said, pushing away from the wall and shoving in hands into his pockets. “Don’t waste your breath. She already made me give her my word. She won’t relent until you do the same.”
“Her tantrums might work with you, but they won’t with me. When she says jump, I don’t ask how high.”
Disco arched a brow. “If I didn’t know better I’d consider that an insult.”
“Call it what you want.” Paine nailed Disco with a seething glare.
“Whether you like it or not,” I said, trying to remain calm and keep the testosterone driven men on topic, “the three of us are in this together.”
“Correction,” Paine snapped, startling me with his vehemence, and stormed across the room. “The two of you are in this together.”
“You know that isn’t true.” I tried not to lash out at him.
“It is true, and you know it. I’m the third wheel, the one who’ll always be on the outside. I’ve made peace with that because I have no other choice. So don’t ask me to stand by and watch while someone tries to destroy the only people I’ll ever love when it’s finally up to me to decide. I can’t”—he paused, his back turned to us—“no, I won’t allow you to take that choice from me. It’s my life. I get to decide how long it lasts. Not you.”
“Paine,” I whispered, agonized that he’d finally said it aloud. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what? Be honest? Keep living a lie? Make promises I can’t keep?”
There were no easy answers, so I didn’t attempt to give him any. Instead I met Disco’s tortured eyes, trying to relate how I felt through our locked gazes, unsure of what to do. He and I had always known how Paine felt, but his emotional attachment was a phantom in the room, a ghost that remained hidden to the unknowing eye.
During the time I’d kept my distance from Disco, Paine and I had become friends. There was nothing more to it—simply shared memories, thoughts about life and my admission of what had occurred between us in the future—but to hear the words spoken and know for certain that it hurt him so deeply made my heart break for him all over again.
“I know you love me, Rhiannon,” Paine said. “In the same way Gabriel does. That’s the problem. It’s not enough. Not anymore. I can’t live like this, watching from the outside, wondering what it could be like if things were different.” He spun around, facing us, breathing hard. “When this is over, I have to leave. It’s too much. I can’t pretend that I’m fine with how things are, the way they’ll always be.”
I knew this moment was coming, but I never anticipated it would happen now, with the world crashing down around us. The Paine of the future had warned me he was going to leave before I’d vanished and Disco had died. He couldn’t bear seeing us together, tortured by witnessing what he could never have.
Even though it made me selfish, I didn’t want him to leave. The way I felt for Paine confused me. The emotion wasn’t as combustive or untamed as what I felt for Disco. It was a different kind of love—softer, sweeter—but love just the same.