The moment wasn’t shattered, not by a long shot, but the harsh reality of our situation returned. “I want you to promise me something.”
I could tell by the way he frowned he knew what I was going to ask, and he didn’t like it. Of course, I didn’t expect anything less. He had sworn he would always protect and keep me safe. But he couldn’t do those things now. I had made my bed, and it was time to sleep in it. Marius’s concern when he’d confronted Disco terrified me. If Disco did anything to bring attention to himself, Revenald would kill him. I knew it. I had recognized it when Marius had pleaded with Disco to keep a level head.
“I won’t allow you to stand alone.”
“I can’t do this if I know you’ll be hurt.”
“I won’t make a promise I can’t keep.” His misery was mine, shared through the mark he’d given me.
“If you don’t, I won’t be able to do this.” I was grateful he could feel my resolve, my determination to do what had to be done if only to ensure we’d make it out of the hell that awaited us alive. “I’m stronger than you think. You’re going to have to trust me.”
“It’s not a matter of trust.” I hated seeing him so distraught. It chipped at my heart when he whispered, “I want to protect you, but I can’t.”
“Then be there for me. Wait until it’s over, come to me, and remind me that the world isn’t a place to hate.”
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to.” A muscle in his jaw spasmed, his golden-blue irises revealing his anger. “I don’t know what’s coming.”
A true statement for both of us. Yet I knew it was senseless to worry about things beyond our control. “We’ll cross any bridges when we come to them. As long as we have each other, the rest doesn’t matter. Promise me that you won’t do anything stupid. Promise me that you’ll be waiting for me when I need you most.”
“I can’t.”
“I didn’t think I could forgive you,” I said solemnly, hating to dredge up the past, “but I did. We’re capable of doing things when they’re important. Give me your word. I need to know that you’ll be waiting for me. That I have something to look forward to. Promise me.”
Several seconds passed, but finally he gave me what I wanted. “I promise.”
“We need to talk to Paine.” I ran my hand along his shoulder, fingers teasing his skin. “If we’re going to survive this, we have to be on the same page.”
“You’re going to expect him to make the same promise.” There was no jealousy in the statement, only sadness.
I nodded, continuing to touch him, needing the connection. “I can’t take care of myself if I’m worried about the two of you. If my mind is somewhere else, I’ll be distracted.” I lifted a hand and rested it against his cheek, forcing him to look me in the eye. “You know how dangerous this will be. It’s the only way.”
“You know I love you. Don’t forget that.” He turned his head and pressed a kiss to my palm, whispering, “Please.”
The way he said please frightened me more than Marius’s threats. My heart skipped a beat then started to race. Although I knew Disco was aware of my panic, I tried to remain calm. Whatever was coming would be far worse than anything I’d ever faced, but I would face it. I wasn’t a coward.
“I won’t.” The smile I gave him was very real, a fuzzy warmth settling over me. “I thought I could erase you from my mind and move on with my life, but look at us now.”
He didn’t return my smile, remaining grave. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Even if that means making difficult choices.”