“I won’t,” I called over my shoulder, entering the bathroom.
I closed the door behind me, leaning on the wood. Removing the blood and grime from the alley fight was part of the reason I’d decided to hurry into the other room. However, there was an even more important reason I’d rushed from Disco’s side, something that couldn’t wait. I surveyed the bathroom. There weren’t many good hiding spots for the knife, so I went to the counter under the sink. After I found a place to wedge Sucker—between a row of towels and a large bottle of shampoo—I quickly stripped away my clothing.
My fingers were useless, the material slipping from my grasp, making the task so much harder than it needed to be. Was I really going to do this? Would I end one battle before another started?
It didn’t take long to decide that, yes, I would risk everything.
Who knew what horrors waited for me tonight. Things I would never be able to forget. Revenald already had too much information about me and Disco. The chasm that existed between us would only give him more ammunition, an easy way to keep us apart.
Divided we were less. Together we would be strong.
I didn’t dawdle when I stepped inside the steaming shower. One good scrub and a quick wash of my hair was all that was necessary. My heart was racing as I stepped out of the shower, patted myself off, towel dried my hair and wrapped the dampened cloth around my body.
Due to the steam on the glass, I couldn’t see myself in the mirror. I combed my fingers through my hair until I could no longer detect any tangles, hoping that I managed to look decent, trying to calm the frantic beating of my heart. Champagne fizzles tickled my stomach, making me warm all over as a faint buzz filled my ears.
This is it. No more waiting.
The heavy fog from the shower followed me into the bedroom when I opened the door. Disco was seated on the edge of the bed. His blond head was down, his hands cradling his face. He looked broken, defeated, and absolutely gutted. My anger returned. Revenald could hurt me, but I wouldn’t be his only victim. It took my breath away when I fully grasped the gravity of the situation and realized that, because of me, Disco would be hurt as well.
“I helped Sonja send Baxter to the other side today,” I said and he slowly lifted his head. “The entire thing was horrible. They were so sad.”
“You were able to do it, then?” He chanced a glance at me, bright eyes sharp as they took me in.
“Yes, I was.”
I took a deep breath. No risk, no reward.
Two steps back, a giant leap of faith forward.
“The thing is, helping them forced me to deal with things I haven’t wanted to think about. I had to take a good look at myself and the decisions I’ve made. Seeing the two of them made me realize something.”
He shifted on the bed and his attention danced over my towel-clad form. I saw the heat in his eyes, the tic in his jaw a testament to his control. To his credit, he recovered fast and averted his gaze. Ever the gentleman, my Gabriel.
“What might that be?” he asked hoarsely.
Our moment had arrived. “That I’ve been throwing away time with you. Time I would have given anything for a few weeks ago.”
He went completely still. Then he looked at me, hope flaring in his eyes. “If you’re trying to tell me something, please be clear. Don’t offer me what I think you are and take it away.”
“I’d forgotten how it felt when I thought I’d lost you.” Now it was my voice that was heavy with emotion, the pain of the past merging with the present. “Anger and hurt prevented me from remembering how broken I was when you were gone. I was so consumed by fear I lost sight of the bigger picture.”
“And now?”