Chapter Twenty-One
JESS
Under any other circumstances, having a rock god like Jax Stone staring at me would be thrilling. However, this was entirely uncomfortable. Twice tonight I had come close to telling him that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. That I wasn’t sure what he knew or what he thought he knew, but Jason and I weren’t exclusive. Not that I didn’t want to be.
Sadie apparently noticed Jax’s interest in me and Jeff, Preston’s friend who I had been seated with during dinner, and she kept trying to break the tension by talking to me. To make things even more uncomfortable, Willow Hardy wasn’t exactly happy with me being here. I felt like pointing out that Marcus was holding their kid in his lap while gazing at her like she fell from heaven just for him.
“Excuse me,” I said to Jeff before standing up. He was talking baseball with Preston, and Amanda had slipped out a few minutes ago, followed by Sadie. I was going to find Amanda and make an excuse to leave.
“Sure,” Jeff replied with a dimpled smile. He was cute and had those pitcher’s arms going for him, but he wasn’t Jason.
I walked in the direction that Amanda had gone in and overheard her and Sadie talking in the kitchen. Knocking on the door frame, I stepped into the kitchen. Both girls’ heads snapped up, and Amanda put a much-too-bright smile on for me.
“Hey, Jess,” she said.
I didn’t wait for her to say any more. “I think I’m going to head out, if that’s okay. Since dinner is over.”
Amanda took a quick glance at Sadie, then back at me. “Oh, um, okay. You sure you don’t want to stay for cake?”
“No. I think I’ll forgo the cake, but thanks for the invitation. I . . . enjoyed the evening.” Which wasn’t exactly true, but I didn’t want to be rude.
I could feel Sadie studying me, and I moved my gaze to hers. I wanted to say something to her about my relationship with Jason, but then if he hadn’t told them, he may not want me to. Instead I forced a smile, then turned to leave.
“I didn’t know about Jason,” Amanda said before I could walk out of the room.
I stopped and turned back around. “What about him?” I asked, trying to sound as if it was no big deal.
Amanda shifted her gaze from Sadie to me. “That y’all were dating,” she said, looking at me apologetically.
I shrugged. “Not many people do. It’s a casual thing.” I hoped my voice didn’t give me away.
“Oh. So y’all aren’t serious?” Amanda asked.
“Who’s not serious?” Eva asked, walking into the kitchen with Willow. Both of them were carrying dirty plates. Willow was the first one to notice I was in the room. She tensed up and glanced at Eva. I had pissed them off, and although they were now married, they still hated me for flirting with their men back then.
I ignored Eva’s question since she hadn’t been speaking to me, and looked back at Amanda. “Nope. He’s got his life at Harvard, and I’m here in Sea Breeze. Jason isn’t interested in serious with me.” I hadn’t meant to say it like that, but trying to fix it would only make me look more pathetic. “Thanks again, Amanda. I’ll see myself out,” I told her so I could escape before they asked me anything else. Just before I walked out, I turned to Willow and Eva. “I’m sorry. I know y’all don’t like me, and I deserve it. Just wanted you both to know that I’m sorry about how I acted back then.”
Willow’s eyes went wide in surprise. I decided to just leave it at that and walk away. I had said what needed to be said. They really didn’t owe me a response.
“Okay. Thanks,” Willow replied in a soft tone. Her expression was still one of amazement.
“Yes, thanks for . . . that,” Eva said, her face almost friendly and slightly amused. I smiled and decided I liked having that weight off my shoulders.
“Bye,” I said, then left the kitchen.
On my way out I called out a bye to everyone in the living room. I didn’t make eye contact with Jeff. It hadn’t been a real date, and I had no desire to get to know him more.
Driving home, I tried not to dwell on the fact that Jason still hadn’t called me. He did say he would be busy this week. The fear that he’d gotten back to Harvard and forgotten about me was nagging at me. I hated feeling this way.
Tonight had been a mistake. That wasn’t my crowd. I loved Rock and Trisha, but his friends weren’t my friends. I didn’t really have friends. Hank’s friends had been mine for so long that when it was over I had pushed everyone else away.
Hank hadn’t been back to my house since he’d had to get married to keep his kid. It was a relief not to have to worry about him beating on my door in the middle of the night. Talking him down from being an angry drunk was tiring. I knew this wouldn’t last—he would get tired of doing what Carrie said, and he’d be back. I was enjoying the break while I could.
The knocking on the door started just after midnight, and I stared at the ceiling in my bedroom, thinking this couldn’t be happening. I had just been thinking about how great it was not having to deal with Hank.
He wasn’t banging on the door, so there was a good chance he wasn’t drunk. That could be even worse. At least when he was drunk I could calm him. Sober, he was dangerous. When my phone started ringing, I reached over and picked it up. Jason’s name was on the screen. Sitting up in bed, I cleared the sleep from my voice and took a deep breath before answering. I had been waiting on this call all week.
“Hello,” I said, a little too anxiously, into the phone.
“Are you gonna make me stand out here all night?” he asked.
It took me a moment to understand what he was saying.
“Is that you knocking?” I asked.
“Yes.”
I jumped up and ran to the door. When I jerked it open, Jason stood outside with his phone still at his ear, but he wasn’t smiling. He stuck his phone in his pocket and stepped inside before putting his hand on my hip and backing me against the wall. My heart had just enough time to flutter before his lips touched mine.
This made up for no calls all week. It more than made up for it. I opened my mouth when his tongue slid across my bottom lip. The pleased growl that came from his chest made my entire body feel hot and flushed. I slipped my hands into his hair and leaned into him as his minty taste invaded me. He always tasted so clean. I loved that. It made me want to crawl into his arms and never leave. There was a security with it that didn’t make sense. Just because he tasted good did not make him less dangerous to my heart than anyone else.
“You had a date tonight,” he said against my lips as his hand tightened on my waist.
I started to shake my head and stopped. He meant Jeff. Jax had called him and told him. Was that why he was here? Could he get here that quickly? I grabbed his shoulders and broke the kiss enough to catch my breath.
“Did you come because I was at Amanda’s with Jeff?” I asked. I was torn on how I wanted him to answer this. He had said he wanted to keep this casual. We were doing that. Me dating someone else was okay, but if he had come all this way because he was jealous, then I liked that. I liked it a lot. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted him here because he missed me or if I wanted him jealous.
“Yes,” he replied. I could hear the frustration in his voice. He didn’t want to care. But he did. He cared enough to come all the way here unplanned.
“You said . . . ,” I started to say, but he cut me off when his mouth covered mine again.
I had to hold tight to him because his hungry, aggressive kissing was making my knees weak. He took from me like he couldn’t get enough. I tilted my head back and let him. I wanted this. I wanted him to desire me, but I also wanted him to claim me. We had been down this road before, and when he had gotten jealous it had ended. I didn’t want to lose him again.
“I don’t like it,” he said as his mouth left mine and started moving down my neck, kissing and tasting my skin. “Did he kiss you?”
I shook my head, unable to speak from my need to breathe.
“I don’t like it,” he repeated as he stopped his delicious onslaught at the curve of my neck and shoulder. He kept his lips brushing against the sensitive skin there. “I can’t share,” he said.
“We just ate together. Everyone had a date. She needed someone for Jeff to make it an even number,” I explained.
Jason moved closer to me and slowly lifted his head. Dark blue eyes stared down at me. “Don’t do that again,” he said, then brushed his thumb over my bottom lip. “They’re always so damn plump. Like they’re swollen from kisses,” he murmured as he continued to touch my lip.
I had to concentrate to respond to his demand. Seeing him so fascinated with my lips wasn’t helping me. “We aren’t exclusive.”
He stopped touching my lip, and his eyes lifted from my lips to meet my gaze. “No. We weren’t. I’m changing that. Now,” he replied. He moved his leg forward until it was firmly wedged between my legs. “Do you want to date other people?” he asked.
His muscular thigh was pressed against me just enough to make me light-headed. I wanted to rock against him and reach that release I knew was there. His kissing had sent my body into an excited frenzy. It wouldn’t take me long. Just a little more pressure.
Jason pressed a kiss to my ear. “Answer me. I’ll give you f*cking orgasms all damn night, but right now I need you to answer me.”
I moved my hands down to grab ahold of his arms. “Just you,” I told him.
Jason slipped his hand down the boxer shorts I was wearing, and his finger slipped easily inside me. Crying out, I rested my head on the wall and closed my eyes. I was already on the verge of an orgasm just from his caveman aggressiveness.
“I want this getting hot and wet just for me,” he said with labored, heavy breathing that caused me to shiver.
I nodded, because he could rest assured he was the only one getting anywhere near it these days. He had ruined me for everyone else.
“Tell me,” he urged, slipping his wet finger over my * and causing my knees to give out. He held me up with his knees still between my legs and held on to my waist with his free hand.
“What?” I asked, unable to remember what we were talking about. My body was trembling, and all I could think about was the pleasure about to rip through me.
“That you’re mine, Jess. That you’re only mine,” he said as his hand went still.
I whimpered, needing him to keep touching me. I was so close. “Please,” I begged, desperate.
“I want to, baby. Nothing I want more than to feel you come on my hand,” he said, making me cry out in frustration. “But I need you to tell me. This is just us now. No more dating. Just us,” he said. His voice sounded far away, but I understood him.
This was what I wanted. Silly man thought he had to get me so worked up I couldn’t think straight to get this answer. All he had to do was ask. I had been waiting on this. Too scared to hope for it.
“Yes. Just you. I’ve always”—I gasped as his finger slowly slid inside me—“just wanted you. I love you,” I managed to say before the waves of release washed over me.
I heard his name rip from my lips as I lost conscious thought, no longer caring if I crumpled to the floor. It felt too good. I could feel the trembles still racking my body and moaned as the ecstasy held on tight, not letting me go just yet.
The ground beneath me moved, and I tried to open my eyes but I only managed to wrap my arms around Jason. I never felt the hard ground beneath my feet, but Jason’s warmth grew stronger, and I curled against him. This was what safety felt like. I had never truly understood what it felt like to be safe.
Finally able to open my eyes, I looked up at Jason’s face and realized we were outside and walking. Before I could manage to ask him what we were doing, he slid into the back of the limo with me still in his arms. The door closed behind us, and I sat up and looked around before I turned back to him.
“What are we doing?”
Jason grabbed my face and kissed me with an urgency I immediately reacted to even though he had just sucked most of my energy from me inside the house. He pulled away first and shook his head with a grin. “Damn, Jess.”
“What?” I asked, still not sure what was going on.
He continued to cup my face in his hands like I was some precious object. “You’re going to kill me or drive me insane. I can’t seem to care. I’m looking forward to it,” he said.
I returned his smile and covered his hands with mine. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He chuckled softly. “I might have gotten a little possessive when I heard you were having dinner with another guy.”
I wasn’t going to lie to him. I was glad he had cared. “It was really nothing,” I assured him.
Jason leaned forward and pulled my bottom lip into his mouth and sucked on it. I loved that he was so enamored with my lips. No one had ever been so obsessed with them before.
“I have fantasies about these lips,” he said when he leaned back.
I wanted to know all about his fantasies so I could make them a reality. But first I wanted to know where we were going. “Where are we going? And I didn’t lock the door to the house.”
Jason gave me a crooked grin. “I locked it and put the key back in the very bad hiding place you keep it in. And we’re going to my place. I want you in bed with me all night.”
Oh. I liked that. A lot. “So you aren’t going back yet?”
“You’ve got me the rest of the weekend,” he replied.
I couldn’t keep the silly grin off my face.
JASON
Watching Jess sleep was like crack. I couldn’t get enough. She was so unbelievably beautiful, and once you got to know the real Jess, you realized she was f*cking sweet. The badass smart mouth who thumbed her nose at rules and skirted the law whenever she could had a kind heart. She’d been hurt in the past, and her life had been hard. It gave her an edge. But there was still an innocence there I hadn’t expected.
She loved me. She had said it several times last night, and I hadn’t been able to say anything back. Each time I’d reacted by bringing her pleasure simply because I wanted to hear her say it again. I didn’t deserve it, but I wanted it nonetheless.
I had also been dealing with the realization that she’d never felt safe. I wasn’t even sure she realized that she had been mumbling about finally feeling safe when I’d held her against me. But it had struck me like a damn brick to my chest. No man had taken care of her and her mother. The guys in her life had only taken from her. No one had taken care of her.
It caused an ache in my chest so intense it had been hard to breathe. She was vulnerable, but no one realized it. She hid behind a strong, brave facade, and it pissed me the hell off that Rock let her. He was her cousin. From what I could tell, he was a good husband and he was great with those kids. Why didn’t he protect Jess the same way? He let people talk about her and guys treat her like shit.
Jess’s eyelashes fluttered, and I enjoyed that perfect moment when she opened her eyes and her gaze found mine. A small, sleepy smile touched her lips. In that moment I knew nothing was more important to me than keeping this woman safe and taken care of. I loved her. I hadn’t expected that, but it had happened. She’d become my world, and I intended to give her the life she deserved. She wasn’t going to be scared and alone again. I would make damn sure my girl always felt safe.
Before I could say any of this, there was a swift knock on my door before it swung open and my mother stepped into the room.
Well, f*ck.
Mother’s eyes went to Jess, then swung back to me. I could see her compose herself. She hadn’t come in here expecting to find a girl in my bed. It was obvious by the shock on her face.
“Jason,” she said in her businesslike tone, which meant she was angry and trying to keep it under control.
“Mother,” I replied.
Jess had gone completely still beside me, and I was thankful I had the covers pulled up, covering her very naked body. I looked down at her. “Jess, meet my mother, who has forgotten her manners this morning about respecting others’ privacy,” I told her, then pressed a kiss to her nose to reassure her before looking back at my mother. “Mother, this is Jess, my girlfriend.”