Chapter Nineteen
JESS
A relationship would be impossible. That’s all I heard. Everything else he said didn’t make sense. What was it he wanted? A booty call?
“So you just want to hook up when you’re available and do what? Have sex?” I asked bitterly.
His eyes went wide and he shook his head. “No! God, no. That’s not what I mean. I meant just . . . date. The sex, well, yeah, it’s amazing, but that isn’t what I came here for. I wanted to see you.”
Just not in a relationship. He wanted to be free to go on dates with Star and whatever A-lister came his way and also come see me. Yes, this pissed me off, but it shouldn’t have. He never promised me anything. Just because I wanted more didn’t mean he had to. He liked me. He wanted to date me. I was used to the possessive-type guys who wouldn’t share, so casually dating wasn’t something I had done much of.
Seeing him with other women would hurt. But was it worth it to have him, even if only for a little while? Could I do that? Maybe I needed to. Maybe it was time I learned how to date different people, to leave my options open. It wasn’t like I was looking for marriage and babies.
“Okay,” I finally said. This would probably come back to haunt me, but I wasn’t willing to let him go.
A slow smile spread across his entirely too handsome face. He’d gotten what he wanted: me and whoever else. I guess he had something to smile about.
“Okay. You’re open to seeing me when we can? And we can talk on the phone,” he added.
I was going to the long-distance-nonrelationship-while-in-college place. That made me sound weak. For giving in to something like this. It was as if I had settled for less. But I wasn’t ready to let him go. Not yet. Maybe soon I would be, but I wanted Jason Stone. Damn him.
His gaze dropped to my feet. “You’re wearing the boots I bought you,” he said with a pleased grin.
I nodded and swung the leg out that I had crossed. “Yep.”
His eyes trailed up my legs and stopped to spend extra time on the tops of my thighs. I was dressed like a hooker. I knew it. I had done it out of stupidity. Of course he was looking.
“I’ll wear more clothes the next time,” I told him, trying to make a joke out of it.
His gaze jerked back to meet mine. “Sorry. I was, uh . . .”
“You were checking out my short skirt. I know. I was in a mood tonight.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “And that mood would be to see how insane you can drive every male you come in contact with?”
I shrugged and leaned back on the sofa. “Pretty much,” I replied honestly.
Jason laughed. “You succeeded.”
“Thanks. I think,” I replied.
He leaned closer to me and picked up a strand of hair from my shoulder, then began playing with it. “I love your hair,” he said as he let it fall through his fingers.
I tried to say thanks, but I couldn’t manage to form the words.
“I want to kiss you. But I don’t want you to think that’s why you’re here,” Jason said.
My heart was speeding up, and I wanted to sigh from the way it felt to have him run his fingers through my hair. “I wouldn’t think you brought me here just for a kiss,” I assured him.
He leaned forward and nuzzled my neck, inhaling me. “If I kiss you, I’m gonna want more. We’ll do a lot more than just kissing,” he whispered.
I shivered from his warmth. I wanted that too. Maybe that was why I had come. It would be a lie to say I hadn’t thought about it. I turned my head and caught his lips in a kiss. His breathing stopped for a moment and his hand stilled in my hair. He was thinking. Trying to decide. I was going to have to push this.
I turned my body and slipped my leg over his before wrapping my hands around his neck. That was all it took. His hand was on my thigh, pulling me closer, before he took control of the kiss.
After months of thinking this was over and I’d never feel this way again, I couldn’t get close enough to him. All I could think was that if this was limited, then I wanted more. If it was possible to get my fill of this man, then I wanted to. Maybe next time it wouldn’t hurt as much.
Jason pushed me back on the sofa and covered me with his body. His mouth kissed my collarbone and the tops of my breasts, which were now pushing up from the top I was wearing. I closed my eyes so I could breathe. It was hard to take deep breaths when I could see his tongue dart out and lick my skin.
I reached for my shirt to pull it off, but his hands grabbed mine and stopped me. “Don’t,” he said as he rested his head against my chest, breathing hard. I didn’t move, waiting on him to do something or say something more. His hand trailed down my side and cupped my hip, but he didn’t do anything else.
“Jason?”
“Yeah,” he replied in a hoarse whisper.
“Are you okay?”
“Give me a minute.”
“Okay . . . but why?”
He pressed a kiss to my chest, then lifted himself off me. “Because this isn’t why you’re here. And as much as I want to take whatever you’re willing to give, I can’t do that.”
I sat up beside him. “But it is why I’m here. We decided to date.”
Jason grinned and rubbed his jaw. “Still need a minute, Jess.”
I reached up and grabbed his arm. “Explain to me what you mean.”
He turned and looked at me. He reached out and moved the strap of my top back up to my shoulder, where it had slipped from, then ran his finger down my arm. “When I go back to school Sunday and you’re left here all week to think about this, I don’t want you convincing yourself that all this was a ploy for me to get in your pants.”
Damn, he was sweet. I leaned toward him, wanting him to touch me some more. “I won’t think that. Besides, I’m not wearing pants,” I reminded him teasingly.
He let out a short laugh. “How could I forget?” he replied.
I leaned over and kissed his neck, and he groaned. “I want this,” I said.
“I want it more. Trust me. But I want you to know that’s not all I want.”
This whole not touching me to prove he cared thing was doing it for me. He could teach a Seduction 101 class. Or one on the fastest way to get a woman naked. “I’m not ready to go home yet.”
Jason put his arm around me and pulled me against his side. “Me neither. Tell me what I’ve missed the past three months, but leave out the details with the singer.”
He wanted to talk. But he was still going to hold me. I moved closer to him, and he reached for my legs and threw them over his lap. This was by far more dangerous to my heart than if he had screwed me tonight.
“Not a lot,” I replied.
“That’s not true. You said you got a job sewing. Tell me about it.”
I laid my head back on his arm and smiled. I liked talking about my job, but no one ever asked me.
JASON
It was soft and warm and smelled f*cking amazing. I pulled it closer and buried my head against it. A soft moan and a shift in just the right area woke me from the dream to reality. Opening my eyes, I realized Jess was the soft, delicious body I was trying to climb inside of. She was tucked against my chest. At some point we had fallen asleep on the sofa and had managed to spoon. I moved my hand, to find it full of bare, soft flesh. Shit, I was feeling her up in my sleep.
She pressed the boob I was holding into my hand and let out a soft moan. The semi hard-on I had went to full blown in seconds. I knew I should move my hand. She was sleeping and vulnerable. I knew I shouldn’t be touching her tits. Although they felt like heaven.
Her legs were tucked in between mine, and her perfect, round ass was pressing against my erection. How the hell was she sleeping through this? Slowly I moved my hand away from her, using all my willpower not to go back and play with the hard nipple that brushed my palm. Slipping my hand out of her shirt, I moved her top down as far as it would go, which wasn’t very far. It left a small portion of her stomach bare. I rested my hand over her shirt and as far away from her extremely tempting chest as possible.
We had talked for hours. Then she had started yawning and I had started playing with her hair. The idea of taking her home wasn’t appealing. Not when I had to leave on Sunday. I wasn’t willing to give her up just yet. So we went to sleep on the couch. We were still in our clothes.
The only things she had told me that made me remotely happy were that she had a job she loved and that the ex boyfriend who had been harassing her was now married. He had been forced to marry the girl he’d gotten pregnant to prevent her from moving off to Arkansas with his kid. She hadn’t talked about the other guy, though. Not once. But then, I’d asked her not to.
Jess cuddled closer to me and shivered. I reached behind me and grabbed a white blanket to pull over her. I wasn’t moving, though. According to the clock it wasn’t even six in the morning yet. I had hours left of this.
Jess pressed back against me. “?’S cold,” she mumbled.
I gave up trying not to touch her too much and used my body to warm her up by getting under the blanket with her. She made a pleased sound and began wiggling her ass again. I bit back a groan and tried to think about anything other than her body.
“You’re warm,” she said sleepily, and settled back down once she had burrowed against me so hard all I could feel was her body.
I pressed a kiss to her temple. As much as I wanted to promise her more, I knew I couldn’t. It would be wrong to ask for a relationship when I never knew if I would have time away on the weekends. Then there were my parents, and I had to deal with them. My mother was going to go apeshit when she found out I was taking off next semester and traveling.
Jess needed her freedom, but I had to have some sort of connection to her. I missed her. I liked being near her. While she was willing to give me this much, I would take it.
She began moving her ass against me again. But this time there was a rocking movement to it. I grabbed her hip to still her.
“Don’t. You like it, I feel it,” she said. Her voice had the thick sound of sleep. She reached for my hand that was on her stomach and moved it up to cover one of her tits. I squeezed it gently, and she arched into it, then threw her hand up and slid it behind my head. I could see my hand on her as the creamy, smooth flesh rose up out of the top of her shirt.
“Are you awake?” I asked, wanting desperately to slip my hand back under her shirt.
“Yes,” she breathed, and threw a leg over mine so that when she rocked back, my erection brushed closer to the heat between her legs.
I started to slip my hand under her shirt but grabbed the bottom of it instead and pulled it off. Her breasts bounced free from the tight halter top, and I filled my hands with them. I’d seen a lot of boobs, but never had I seen any this perfect. Jess arched her back, giving me an even better view of how good they looked in my hands.
She opened her legs wider, trying so hard to get the friction she needed for a release. Slipping my hand down her stomach, I pulled the short skirt up, and Jess cried out in anticipation. I played with the top of her panties, running my finger back and forth as she squirmed.
“Please,” she begged.
“What is it you want?” I asked, pressing a kiss to her ear.
“Touch me, God, please, touch me,” she panted. Her legs were wide open, and I could smell her arousal, which was about to push me over the edge. I slid a finger inside the lacy fabric, and Jess gasped and stilled. Her breasts rose and fell, causing them to bounce beautifully while she waited for me to move lower.
When my finger brushed her *, she cried out my name and threw her head back. F*ck, that was hot. I ran one finger down the slick folds, and then I brought it up to my mouth to taste her as she watched me.
“So sweet,” I whispered, then moved my hand back down to touch her through the soaking-wet cotton crotch of her panties. “We need to take these off,” I told her, and she nodded frantically.
I reached up and unzipped the skirt because it was going too. Then I shoved them both down until she had to shimmy them the rest of the way and then kick them to the floor.
“Jason,” she breathed, opening her legs to me again. The room smelled like sex with her open like that. I was beginning to think I didn’t have to go back to school. I could just live down here with Jess naked on this couch with me.
“Yeah?” I asked, kissing her neck while I moved my hand back to cover her smooth, wet mound.
“Take off your pants,” she said, moving her hips against my hand.
“Why? I’m taking care of you,” I told her as I pressed my thumb over her *.
“Not the same. I want you inside me,” she said, grabbing my arm and holding on tight as she bucked against my hand. “Just like this. Slide into me from behind,” she said.
The image in my head had me unbuttoning my jeans. I reached in my pocket and grabbed the condom I had stuck in there last night when we got back to the house. I hadn’t planned on it then, but I also didn’t want to be unprepared. If Jess put her mind to it, she could make me do anything.
I handed Jess the condom. “Open it,” I told her, then pushed my jeans down until I could kick them off.
“Here,” she said, handing it to me.
I grabbed it, then pressed a hard kiss to her lips before sliding it on. I was past the point of being hard. I was in pain. Reaching for her leg, I pulled it up high on my hip, then eased into her. She was more than ready as she pulled me inside, causing us both to cry out.
She moved her hand back behind my neck again and arched back into me. “You’re so deep,” she said on a moan.
“Forgot how f*cking amazing you feel,” I told her as I fought to keep from losing myself right then.
Jess’s hand touched my cock as it slid in and out. I held my breath as she then ran her fingers over her * before circling them around me again. Having her play with me while I f*cked her was pushing my resistance.
“I’m about to come,” she said, tensing up as I pumped into her hard. “Oh, God, Jason. I’m going to come. It’s . . .” She stopped talking and her head pressed against my chest as she bucked wildly against me, screaming my name, until I followed right behind her.
Her body started to tremble, and I held on tight as I jerked while filling the condom with my release. I had almost convinced myself that sex with Jess hadn’t been the most epic experience of my life. That because I had lost her, I had put sex with her on a pedestal. I realized now that it had been epic. It had never felt like this with anyone else. Ever. And I wasn’t willing to lose this again.