chapter 18
Hillary Hamm did not take the news well. Leona and I delivered the envelope (along with a dozen perfectly pink carnations) to her house just before I was supposed to meet Aiden.
The moment she saw us on her large covered front porch, she started crying. Then she cursed and took out her cell to send the most tragic text ever to Midas. Something along the lines of hoping he caught a nasty venereal disease.
But she appreciated the pink carnations I’d brought.
“So when are you meeting with Aiden?” Leona asked as we got into her Beamer, watching the sun fade behind the trees.
“In about twenty minutes.” My nose twitched. I was still upset from my conversation with Kira. In fact, I’d ignored all of Joel’s texts because I wasn’t sure if she’d run back to tell him. It was pretty cheerless having your boyfriend tell his ex everything. And vice versa. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yep,” Leona said, checking her rearview before pulling out into the street.
“Do you think Aiden is the reason I’m having a tough time dating Joel?”
“Um …” She turned to me, her dark eyebrows pulled together and then looked back at the street. “Well, first, I didn’t know you were officially dating Joel. Second, of course. Aiden is the reason you do anything. And third, why the hell didn’t I know you were dating Joel?”
“I don’t know. I really didn’t tell anybody because I was afraid it’d hurt Kira’s feelings. Even though Joel told her and—wait. What do you mean, ‘Aiden is the reason you do anything’?”
Leona smiled. “Why are you meeting with him tonight?”
“To find out why he turned us in.”
“And you don’t think if you would have asked really nicely, he would have told you over the phone?”
I guess I hadn’t really thought about that. He said he’d rather tell me in person. I assumed it was because it was difficult to talk about. Like he was embarrassed. But maybe …”
“All I’m saying, Tessa, is that it’s okay to still care about Aiden, even if he’s just pulled the biggest d-bag move in history. And honestly, I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I think you trying to make him the bad guy is what’s eating at you. If you’re looking for excuses as to why you’re not hooking up with Joel on a regular basis, I think it has to do with you more than anyone else.”
“Meaning?”
“What am I a freaking fortune cookie? I don’t know, Tess. Figure it out. Decide what you want and do it. Stop waffling. It’s not becoming of a Smitten Kitten.”
I smiled. Waffles were delicious. “You’re right,” I said as she paused at a red light. “I need to clear my head. Maybe I should go back to meditating?”
“It did keep you wonderfully centered.”
“Agreed.”
Leona drove me home, and after I got inside my house, I heard the first splatters of rain hit my bedroom window. The season was starting. It would rain for months at a time, but I think I was getting used to it. Maybe the fact that it always happened made it more comforting somehow.
I decided to meditate before I was supposed to meet with Aiden. I wanted to be in top form when we talked. He was smooth, and I needed to be prepared for that. Sitting on a fluffy pink pillow on the carpeted floor, I tried to clear my mind as best as I could. But something always popped in there.
First it was SOS and how now that we weren’t a secret, people didn’t like us. Well, some of the girls still did—evidenced by our steady stream of cheater requests. I’d actually gotten into a very thoughtful debate in sociology class about the anatomy of a cheater. My teacher was very impressed. But mostly the guys called us names, or tossed wads of paper at us when we passed by.
But I kept my head held high. After all, I’d caught most of them in compromising positions. Who was the one that should really be embarrassed?
Then I thought about Joel, and I got a little angry. He had told Kira what I had explicitly told him not to. Why would he do that? I understood that they were friends, but was he completely clueless about her feelings for him? Ugh. I’d have to speak with him about that.
I was about to try to blank out my brain again when my phone went off. I glanced down at it, vibrating on my floor. The screen said it was Joel. I held in a breath, but I didn’t move. I hadn’t thought about what to say to him. I’d needed notes for this.
I glanced over at my alarm clock and saw that it was almost seven. Aiden would be here any minute, and even though I didn’t have to get pretty (not like I cared what he thought), I did want to put on a warm, sort of cute sweater.
Hm … now where did I put my lip gloss?
When my doorbell rang, I thought my heart would be stuck in my throat forever. It had been a while since Aiden had been to my house—at least, a while since he’d been invited. I crutched into the kitchen, but before I could open the door, I heard voices on the other side. What was going on?
Just then the door opened, startling me.
“Sorry, honey,” my father said when he saw me, a huge grin on his face. “Didn’t mean to frighten you. But look who I found on our doorstep.” He was beaming as his hand clutched Aiden’s shoulder. I was a little too breathless to respond.
There was my ex-boyfriend, smiling as he stood with my father. His skin looked warm and tan, so inviting in the cooling fall weather. His hair a little longer, growing out to become the messy curls that I used to love. Like always, just looking at Aiden was enough to make someone melt. But I quickly pulled myself together.
“Hello, Aiden,” I said nonchalantly, and crutched over for a glass of water. Cold water. “Dad, where’s mom?” A change of subject was in order.
“She’s setting up at the club for tonight.” I didn’t look at him, but I could hear the elation in his voice. “Aiden, would you want to come watch our set tonight?”
“Really? Yeah, that’d—”
“He can’t,” I said quickly, spinning to face them. “Aiden and I are going to have a talk, and then he’s going back to school.” Let’s just nip this in the bud before it gets any worse.
Aiden’s expression faltered, but then he recovered and smiled at my father. “Next time?”
“Sure.” My dad nodded and then shot me a dirty look. “Maybe I can come up and catch a game at WSU when the season starts.”
I took in a breath. That reminded me. Chloe had said that Aiden was dropping out of WSU, something he’d neglected to tell me. I wondered why he was trying to hide it.
“Yeah, let me know. I’ve got a guy that can set aside some tickets and—”
“We should go,” I said, hobbling over to where my two guys stood. “Night, Dad.” I opened the door and motioned for Aiden to leave. This father and son meeting was too hard to watch. Aiden looked over at me, his face scrunched as he stared. Maybe he thought I was crazy. I sort of felt like it.
He said his good-byes to my father, and they did a man embrace (shoulder lean with a pat on the back). When he got out the door, I held up my finger. “Just give me a sec?”
His green gaze shifted between me and my dad, and then he nodded before walking out. When I turned to my father, his expression was bordering on furious.
“Tessa Crimson, you were not raised to be so rude.”
“Me? How about the way you treat Joel?”
“This has nothing to do with Joel. Aiden was a part of this family for a long while. I understand that you’re upset with him, I really do. But I do not appreciate the unpleasant way you treated me in front of him.”
I didn’t like being scolded. Heat swarmed my cheeks and I frowned. He might have been right about me being a bit disrespectful. “I’m sorry. But you don’t know everything.”
“That may be true. But understand, part of being a well-adjusted adult is treating others with respect. No matter what. I’d hate to see you lose your compassion.”
I nodded. I knew how much my parents cared about Aiden. It was unfair to force them to be angry with him. He’d been like a son to them. Even if he weren’t my boyfriend anymore.
Aiden’s car was idling in my driveway, but before I got in, I took out my phone and shut it off. Then I packed it safely away in my purse. I didn’t want to lose it again. And … I didn’t want to explain to Joel where I was. I hadn’t decided the best way to explain this to him yet.
I eased into the car and placed my crutches across the backseat before lifting my booted foot into the car. Aiden stared at it.
“Did I mention how much I’m digging the sparkles?”
I smiled. Dang him and his smooth talk. “No, you haven’t.”
“I’m digging the sparkles.”
“Thanks.”
We sat quietly for a second, then Aiden shifted into gear. “What are you hungry for?”
I felt a twist in my stomach, the feeling that I was doing something I shouldn’t. This wasn’t really fair to Joel. “Aiden, I’m just here to talk. I think you have some explaining to do.”
“I do?” Aiden looked sideways at me, studying my expression. Then he turned to the road, eyebrows pulled together. He backed out into the street and began driving down the dark streets. “You’re right,” he said. “But first, why don’t you tell me what you know so far.”
My lip curled. “What? You’re supposed to be spilling your guts, remember?”
“I just want to make sure I’m not out of line here. Come on, Tess. Tell me what the Kittens have discovered so far.” The light on the corner of Elmhurst and Longview turned red, and we eased to a stop.
“I know that you’re dropping out of WSU.” His hand tightened on the steering wheel.
“That … is true. I’m transferring.”
I blinked quickly, realizing that Chloe’s investigation had been correct. In a way, I might have still been hoping she was wrong about him. “Where?”
“OSU.” He grinned and looked over. “I’m gonna be a Beaver.”
My mouth twitched with a smile, but I covered it with my hand. “Why?”
“Better schedule. Better team.” He glanced at me, then the street. “What? Did you think I was coming back to live in Redmond?”
“That would have been a logical assumption. Yes.”
“Oh, baby,” he chuckled. “You have such little faith in me.”
Prickles broke out over my skin, not liking his choice of words. Because I didn’t. I didn’t have any faith in him.
“Why did you do it?” I asked suddenly as he turned the corner to ride into the hills.
“Do what?”
“Tell Blaze about us?”
His mouth opened as if he were offended. “Baby, I didn’t say shit. What are you talking about? I wouldn’t do something like that. I’ve spent the last week protecting you.”
My heart stopped as I stared back at him. Relief filling me. “Banana split, Aiden! Are you serious?”
His eyes continued to dart back and forth from me to the road. “Who told you that? Leona?” he demanded.
“It … it doesn’t matter. Who were you protecting me from?”
“You don’t want to know,” he said, shaking his head.
“I think I do.”
Aiden spun his hand over the steering wheel as we began winding through the streets. “For starters, the football team was going to trash your uniforms, like throw paint on you in the hallways. I had to personally call and threaten each and every one of those f*ckers.”
“Oh.” I was stunned. I knew the boys were mad, but the thought of being assaulted in the hallway frightened me. I was completely grateful to Aiden for saving us. Oh, my word—he was innocent! Chloe was so wrong.
“And Stuart French was going to take out a full page ad in the paper calling for public outrage. I had to pay him two hundred bucks to stop him from running it.”
“But you don’t have two hundred bucks.”
“No, shit. But I couldn’t let them ruin you.”
My mouth twitched. “That was very sweet, Aiden. Thank you.”
We came out on the other side of the hills, and Aiden took the turn onto the freeway back to my neighborhood. We were just wandering—no place to go. He … he was such a hero.
“I’m so sorry I accused you,” I said quietly. “I should have known better.”
“Uh, yeah. You should have.” He looked sideways at me, his face hardened. But when I met his gaze, he rolled his eyes. “But I forgive you.”
My breath caught. It was just like my father had said. “Thanks.”
We didn’t say anything else until he pulled up in front of my house, parking at the curb. He rested his head against the seat as if he were so tired he was going to fall asleep right here. “No matter where we are, Tess,” he murmured, almost to himself. “I’ll never let anything bad happen to you.”
I watched him. His eyes were closed, and his lips were slightly parted. His chest rose and fell with his breath. It would be so natural to just lean over and kiss him; kiss him like I’d done a million times before. It would feel so right.
“Who was it, Aiden?”
“I’m dying without you, Tess,” he said quietly, not opening his eyes. Not answering me. His words went straight to my heart, pulling it open and making it hurt. I wanted him so much, but I couldn’t have him. I couldn’t accept this life. My eyes started to water.
“Fine, if you’re not going to tell me, then I have to go.” I couldn’t sit and listen to him anymore. I’d agreed to move on with Joel. The past was over. I reached for the handle of the passenger door.
“Wait.”
I paused, glancing back at him. He straightened up and looked at me, his eyes weak. “Can we grab an ice cream or something first?”
Dang it! He knew how much I liked ice cream. “I shouldn’t.” I didn’t sound all that convincing.
“I promise I’ll tell you everything I know. I talked with Darrell last night.”
I widened my eyes at him. “You weren’t going to tell me that?”
He smiled. “I was holding out for ice cream.”
I tsked, but in a way, I appreciated the fact that he had continued investigating. After Chloe had accused Aiden, Leona had closed the case.
“Fine,” I said. “But only because I wrongly accused you. Well, that and the fact that everyone needs a pistachio ice cream once in a while. It helps with morale.”
“I don’t know about that. But strawberry sounds pretty good. And, yes,”—he glanced into his lap—“I’ll tell you what I know.”
It was all so ominous. And although I appreciated Aiden’s chivalry in wanting to protect me, he’d have to realize that I’m a grown cheerleader and could handle myself. He couldn’t always save me.
But maybe just once more wouldn’t hurt. Aiden shifted the gear, and I looked out the window. There was nothing wrong with getting ice cream with Aiden. I mean, we’d been getting ice cream for years. It wasn’t like he was painting my nails or something.
Luckily, the mall was only a mile away and had a Ben and Jerry’s. I wasn’t sure I could wait much longer for the information—my mind had run through all the suspects with no obvious choice. But now I was totally craving ice cream.
When we got there, I reached into the back to grab my crutches, and then slowly got out of the Jetta. Once I was balanced, I glanced over the top of the car as Aiden stretched, his long, muscular body in full display. His face was so content. Calm. When he met my eyes across the roof, he pressed his lips together.
“Let’s go,” he called, walking around the car. When he got to me, we both paused. I half expected him to take my hand. But instead, he reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear. When his finger touched my earlobe, my entire body tingled.
He smiled, close to me. “I know how much you like to be pulled together.”
I blinked heavily. “I’m letting go of some of my control issues.” His eyes were green, beautiful. I remembered how often I used to stare into them completely lost. I felt lost now.
He laughed. “Sure you are. Shall we?” he asked, motioning toward the mall.
“Never understood why you liked that kind,” Aiden said, biting into the top of his strawberry swirl as we sat just outside the Ben and Jerry’s in the food court, the smells of hamburgers and Panda Express filling the space between us
“And I never understood how you could bite ice cream. Some things are meant to be licked, Aiden.”
He choked on his mouthful.
“Besides, I think the green is sort of cute.”
“Of course, you do,” he said, still seeming to laugh at some inside joke and wiping his mouth with a napkin.
“Can I ask you something?” Aiden took another bite.
“Shouldn’t I be the one asking questions?”
“Humor me?”
I took a long lick from my ice cream and then nodded. Truth was I was curious about what he had to say. Now that I knew he was innocent, I felt so much more comfortable. And a little guilty for jumping to conclusions.
Aiden looked down at the metal table. “Are you in love with him?” he asked. “Are you in love with Joel?”
Stupid Cupid! I wasn’t expecting that! His question made my muscles tense, my jaw tighten, my hand scrunch my cone. So many feelings ran through me. Sad that Aiden had to ask. Worried that I didn’t know how to answer.
When he finally looked up at me, I felt all of my air escape as if I’d been sacked. His eyes were glassy even though he continued to bite at his strawberry swirl as if the answer didn’t matter. But I knew it mattered.
“Were you in love with Mary?” He flinched at the question, then looked me straight in the eyes.
“No. I’ve never loved anyone but you.”
Although I should have been upset at my mention of her name, his answer somehow released me. Like an unknown fear.
“Are you in love with Joel?” he asked again quietly, this time not looking away.
My pride wanted to take over. Scream an answer, maybe make myself feel something that wasn’t there. But instead I stared back into his eyes, thinking about how rough Aiden was around the edges. How he bit his nails. How he swore even when he was trying not to. I thought about all the imperfect things that made him perfect to me.
“No.” I said, simply. “I’m not in love with Joel.”
Without any noticeable reaction, Aiden licked the side of his cone. “Is it because you’re still in love with me?”
A chill ran across the back of my neck, and my breath held in my chest. I could feel myself blushing, my cheeks getting warm. “Maybe.”
His mouth twitched with a smile as he leaned back into the painted metal of the food-court chair. He looked across the room of people—completely pleased. “That’s good, Tess,” he said, nodding to himself. “Because he’s the one that set you up.”