chapter 12
We all sat there holding our breath. Had anyone heard Leona? Was she totally busted and in need of reinforcements? I tried her cell, but she didn’t answer.
Guns n’ Roses! We needed to save her!
A loud knock on my window startled me, and I screamed out. Izzie tried to duck under the dashboard, and Kira slid down in the seat. It was our natural undercover reflexes.
The door opened, and Leona’s flannel came into view. “Holy cannoli, Leona! I was so worried. I thought we’d have to—”
I stopped dead. Right behind her was a very nice pair of thighs. “Tessa,” he called. “May I speak with you for a second?” His voice sounded scoldy. I didn’t like getting scolded.
I nearly refused, but at the same time, I wanted to know what Aiden was doing here. He should have been at college.
Gathering my crutches from the floor, I scooted over, careful to keep my booted cast from bumping against the seat. When I swung my legs out, Leona helped set up the crutches, and I climbed out.
Her mustache was gone. She looked at me and shrugged. “I didn’t do too well,” she said, looking disappointed.
“You did great. No negative talk.” I smiled reassuringly. I mean, yes. We didn’t get the info we needed, but at the same time, Aiden was here. Maybe he knew something.
Leona looked over her shoulder at Aiden. He was looking down the street as if he weren’t paying attention, but he had a satisfied little smirk on his face.
“I’ll wait in the car,” Leona mumbled before moving behind me to get in the backseat. When she slammed the door, Aiden finally looked over at me. My heart fluttered.
“I see the crutches haven’t stopped SOS,” he said.
“We’ve decided that our job is important, Aiden. But tonight, we’re here on a different mission. We’re trying to find a tattletale.”
He laughed. “Ironic that the same girls that have been …”—he paused—“tattle tailing for the last three years would now want to find the person that spied on them.”
“It may be a little ironic.” I adjusted my weight on my crutches. “But it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t investigate.”
Aiden was quiet, and I began to feel the awkwardness. I wanted to look at him, but I fought it.
“How’s the ankle?” he asked, motioning toward it.
“Getting better. The girls made it sparkly so it didn’t look so tragic.”
He laughed and looked down at it, but when he did, his face changed. He tilted his head, reading it and then glanced up, his green eyes wide. I didn’t understand at first, but then I remembered. Joel’s note.
Aiden looked away, taking in a jagged breath. After a quiet second, he turned back to me, his jaw tight. “Well, I’m glad to know you’re up and hobbling around.”
He was hurt. “It’s not …” But I stopped. Not what he thinks? It sort of was. And besides, I didn’t have to explain anything to him. At least, I wasn’t sleeping with the ex-captain of my cheer squad. Ew.
Aiden nodded, acknowledging that I didn’t have to finish my sentence. Then he took a step closer to me, making me feel off balance. I could smell him, his familiar scent.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him, my own breathing quickened.
“I was worried about you.” His mouth twitched with a smile. “And I sort of figured you’d be out spying, getting yourself in more trouble. Leona could have gotten hurt in there.”
I didn’t need Aiden’s protection. “SOS is perfectly capable of handling our own business. If anything happened, we would have—”
“What? Hobbled in to get her? You need help, Tess. Eventually you’ll have to admit that.” Aiden’s green eyes seemed to look right into me, sparkling under the street light in that devious way that I’d always loved.
“And I’m sure you’re volunteering for the job.”
“Of course, baby.” He grinned.
When he called me baby, a chill ran over me. But not the good kind. It made me think of all the other times he’d called me baby. The times when he was secretly seeing Mary Rudick but still pretending to love me.
“I’m not interested.” My tone turned icy. “Is there anything else, Aiden? Because we have to analyze the data and—”
“Tess—”
“—and come up with our list of suspects. It’s a very busy and important time in the investigation. There’s not time for distractions—”
“Am I distracting you?” I looked up to see him smiling at me.
I paused. “Yes.” With his tan skin, piercing eyes, and blond hair; Aiden was highly distracting.
“Can I drive you home?”
His question caught me off guard. I went to move back and bumped into the car. “Oh. No. No, thank you.”
“I’d like to, Tessa. I’d like to take you home.”
I closed my eyes. It was such a simple thing, and yet it broke and fixed my heart all at once. It’d been a really long time since I’d been alone with him. It just seemed like a really bad idea.
“I promise I’ll behave.”
There was the sound of an electronic window rolling down. “Pardon me, Tessa,” Kira called, the hint of a laugh in her voice. I turned. “We really have to go. Izzie has a twelve o’clock curfew tonight.” In the background Izzie nodded.
I looked at Aiden. “I have to go.”
He exhaled, as if he were about to say something he didn’t want to. “I have information for you. I really think you’re going to want to hear what I have to say.”
“Information?” Had Aiden heard something or was he just trying to get me to ride home with him?
“Just go with him,” Kira said. She was smiling. “Aiden doesn’t bite. Right, Aiden?”
“Not usually.”
“See.” She had a twinkle in her eye that told me she was enjoying my little reunion. “Besides,” she added, “maybe he does know something.” I could tell that she didn’t believe that.
I considered my options for a second, wondering what I should do. Even if Aiden could help, should I accept it? And what about Joel? I was so torn!
But when I looked at Aiden, he didn’t seem to gloat over my indecision. No. His face was cautious. Patient.
I decided that if I was ever going to be okay, I needed to face my fears. And my biggest one right now was being alone with Aiden.
Turning back to the car, I ducked my head. “We’ll meet tomorrow?” I asked the girls. Already, my pulse was speeding up, scared of what would happen when Kira’s car pulled away.
“Sounds good,” Leona said from the backseat, waving me off. Poor thing. She was so distraught over getting busted by Aiden. Not good for her self-esteem.
“Or just call us when you get up. In case you need to sleep in.” Kira raised her eyebrow at me. I frowned at her.
“Bye, Aiden,” Izzie said. He waved to her.
I watched nervously as Kira rolled up her window and drove her car into the street. I stood with my back to Aiden, totally regretting this decision.
I was all alone with my ex-boyfriend. Great Gatsby! This was a bad idea.
Everything about Aiden’s car was the same. The smell. The pile of uniforms and workout clothes scattered across the backseat. It made me feel homesick—that longing for another place. Another time. I cleared my throat and busied myself by scrolling through my phone.
“Been a while since I got to drive you anywhere,” he said after he got in. I looked over at him, and we sat there awkwardly until he started the car.
“So you said you had information?” I asked as we drove through the dark Redmond streets. There were no streetlights through the hills, something about people not wanting to disturb nature. The blackness outside the windows made Aiden and I feel even more alone together. I gulped.
“Right,” he said, almost disappointed. I wondered if he thought I had a different reason for getting in his car. “Well, Darrell called me the other day, wanted to talk about you. He said he sent you a pissed off e-mail.”
“He did.” I hadn’t told Kira about that. I thought it might hurt her feelings. She’d been very attracted to Darrell for several months until he had cheated on her last year.
“Well, first I told him I was going to beat his ass.”
I smiled and looked over at him. He was staring ahead, navigating the winding road. It was sort of cute that he threatened physical violence against anyone who crossed me. Not that I condoned it.
“Then I made him tell me everything he knew.”
I straightened my posture. “He knew who told on us?”
“No,” Aiden sighed. “But whoever it was told Blaze during class, passed him a note or something. At least, that’s what Darrell heard. So start by checking his schedule.”
“This is good. Thanks.”
Aiden grinned. “No problem, baby.”
Baby. I blinked a few times and turned away. I didn’t want him to call me that. I couldn’t handle hearing that. My eyes began to water.
“Tessa?”
“Stop.” I needed him to stop talking. I was afraid of what would come next.
“I know I promised to behave, but I have to say some things. I miss you. I can’t stand my life without you.” It all came out in one breathless second, like he’d been waiting a long time to say it. “And then seeing his name on your cast … I just can’t stand it, Tess. I want to f*cking kill him.”
I put my hand over my eyes and rested my elbow on the door. I should have realized that whatever information Aiden had came with a price.
“We can work this out,” he whispered. “I know we can.”
I sniffled and looked over at him. “No, Aiden,” I said, feeling exhausted. Worn out. “We can’t. You slept with Mary. You hid it from me. You were supposed to love me.”
“I do! I love you more than anything!”
“Then how could you sleep with her? How could you sneak around with her and then still be with me?” I shook my head, tears starting to fall from my eyes. “How could you do that to me? I was waiting for you!”
“I was stupid! What the f*ck else can I say? I made a mistake, Tessa. Why can’t you forgive me?” Aiden face was scrunched up as he looked between me and the road. It was obvious that he was in pain, but this was too hard. There was too much baggage. “You know, I’ve forgiven everything you’ve done. Why won’t you do the same for me?”
“It’s not the same,” I said, wiping under my eyes. “You betrayed me. And right now, all we’re doing is hurting each other.”
“I’ll never hurt you again. Please, just—”
“I don’t forgive you!”
My words came out so suddenly, so angrily, that Aiden gasped, and I felt my body go limp with the admission. It was such a horrible thing to say!
Just then we came out of the hills into the lit streets of my neighborhood. I watched Aiden silently stare ahead from behind the steering wheel, tears leaking down his cheeks, his lips pressed tight together.
And I wanted to take back the words. I didn’t want to hurt Aiden. It killed me to make him feel this awful. But I turned away and let my last statement hang. This was better. If he stopped calling, stopped trying, maybe my pain would go away. Maybe.
Aiden turned sharply into my driveway, and the tires actually squealed when he stopped. My seat belt locked and yanked me back into my seat.
“Sorry,” he said quietly, staring down in his lap.
I watched him, my heart beating a little faster from our sudden stop. My heart aching for the pain he was going through. His knuckles were white from his grip on the steering wheel, the muscles of his forearms defined and flexed.
Looking at him, I could see everything I’d loved. I could see my past. And with that, I opened the passenger door. Aiden waited patiently as I reached in and got my crutches, even if he didn’t get out to help. It was better that he didn’t.
When I’d gotten all of my stuff, I paused just outside the door. “Good-bye, Aiden.” He opened his mouth but didn’t answer. So I shut the door and watched as he backed out of my driveway. He paused so long before turning down the street, I thought maybe he’d rethought leaving and was going to come back. But eventually, he pulled out and his taillights were down the street.
What a strange night. We’d failed our mission, and I’d just done what I promised myself I wouldn’t: talk to Aiden. And now that he was gone, my breathing was quickening, my chest starting to tingle with an unrealized anxiety. I missed him.
I couldn’t handle this roller coaster of love! I needed to pull myself together and move on. In fact, I was going to call Joel right now and schedule dinner. I needed a normal guy in my life. A guy without baggage. A guy who respected and loved me.
I reached into my pocket to grab my phone. Wait. Where was my phone? I balanced on my crutches as I checked all of my pockets, but nothing. I know I’d had it in Kira’s car. And I’d checked it once while I was with Aiden—
Siegfried and Roy! I’d left my phone in Aiden’s car. I exhaled and slowly turned to crutch my way into my house.
Joel,
I stopped by your house this morning because I lost my phone last night. Long story. I’d love to go out to dinner with you. I’m home all day, so call the house!
Tessa
From: Kira Reynolds <[email protected]>
To: Tessa Crimson <[email protected]>
Sent: Mon, October 11, 2:45 PM
Subject: Practice
Hey, Tess. I’ve been working on a new routine that we should use for the ESPN game. It’s called the Triple Licorice Twist—totally hot. I think it’s the only way we can win over the crowd.
I’ve been working on it with Chloe, and she’s rocking it. I really think she should be our flyer since your ankle is broken.
Thoughts?
BTW, does Joel know how much time you’ve been spending with Aiden lately?
K