chapter 13
I’d dialed Aiden’s dorm room several times to get my phone back, but it kept going to voice mail. Where was he? I started to wonder if he was keeping it on purpose.
Joel called me the minute school got out. I thought it was incredibly sweet that he would ignore homework for me. He was also totally forgiving about my blowing him off the other night when I was spying … er, at the movies.
We decided to grab an early dinner so that I could still make practice tonight. Kira’s e-mail about her new routine had me all stressed out. First, the Triple Licorice Twist was highly dangerous. Second, there was no way in the universe I’d let Chloe be my flyer. I was top of the pyramid. A stupid cast wouldn’t change that.
I’d let the squad know Aiden’s detail about the culprit possibly being in a class with Blaze, and luckily, both Izzie and Leona were in his homeroom. They were going to snatch his schedule tomorrow.
I waited in the kitchen, thankful that my parents were out of town. They didn’t freak about the suspension. I mean, sure, they told me to stay inside except for cheerleading, but I think dinner was a necessity and therefore okay.
When my doorbell rang, I smiled as I crutched over to it. Since I didn’t want to wear sweatpants, I had changed into a dark-pink skirt with a white T-shirt and cute cardigan sweater. Too bad my crutches didn’t match. It could have been a total ensemble.
“Wow,” Joel said slowly when I opened the door. “You look great, Tess.”
“You, too.” He was so handsome with his hair brushed smooth, his button-down the perfect shade of green to make the hazel of his eyes stand out. I felt a little breathless.
He smiled, his slightly misplaced tooth peeking out and thrilling me. “We could just stay in, maybe order a pizza?” he suggested.
Oh. His comment surprised me, and I moved back on my crutches. He must have noticed because he held up his hands apologetically.
“Or we can go out to dinner like we planned. You ready?” He seemed completely nervous, and I felt bad. I wasn’t trying to make him uncomfortable. It was just that staying in would lead to making out. And making out could lead to …
“Yep. Let’s go.” I crutched forward and out the door.
Joel drove us downtown in his sensible, clean car as I enjoyed the darkening view out my window. It was pretty this time of year. All the leaves were bright orange and red. The slight chill in the air had everyone wearing stylish overcoats. It made me crave hot chocolate and pumpkin pie.
We stopped in front of the Steakhouse in Bellevue. I looked at him as he pulled the car into the parking lot. When he glanced over, I smiled. “I’ve never been to this restaurant,” I said.
“It’s nice.”
Well, that was good. I liked new experiences. And having them with Joel was forward momentum. No point spending my entire life visiting all the old haunts that Aiden and I used to. Joel deserved his own traditions.
It took me a good while to climb out of the car and get on the crutches, but when we approached the building, Joel held the door open for me. Such a gentleman. I was just about to thank him when I noticed the room. I paused. “Um …”
Joel hadn’t mentioned that we were going to a fancy (meaning sort of stuffy) restaurant. The type with ladies in fur coats (tragic!) and men wearing ties. There were chandeliers and wood-paneled walls with intricate designs. I would have been fine with going for a burger. I just wanted to spend time with him.
“Joel,” I said, turning around, “this is really fancy. I think I’m underdressed.”
“You look beautiful,” he said, a crooked smile on his face. “You’re easily the hottest—and youngest—girl in here.”
I laughed.
“Besides,” he said, “I figured if I finally get to take you out, I’d better make it first class, or I’d never coax you away from the squad again.”
“Coax?”
He shrugged. “Tryouts? Practice? Meetings? Take your pick. Seems every time I ask you out, you already have plans—and that’s after you stopped spying. I’m starting to think you’ve changed your mind about me.”
Holy Grail! That was definitely not the case. I found Joel very charming. Handsome. Funny. I was just … busy. “Haven’t changed my mind,” I said, reaching out to take his arm. “In fact, I’m glad we’re here.”
“You don’t mean that. You want to leave.” He sounded amused.
Suddenly, a ma?tre d’ walked up in a tuxedo. Tuxedo! I looked sideways at Joel, and he burst out laughing.
“Sorry, sir,” he said to the man standing there and looking down his considerable nose at us. “My girlfriend would rather go to McDonald’s.”
“Oh, my word!” Wait. Girlfriend?
The ma?tre d’ snorted, and with that, Joel spun me around (careful of the crutches) and marched us out the heavy glass door. It was spontaneous and sweet.
Joel was a life-size Ken doll, only without all the plastic.
“You’re incredibly low maintenance, Tessa,” Joel said as we sat across from each other in a vinyl booth at Sid’s Pizza. When I told him that I didn’t care where we went, he chose here. Which was cool. Even if Aiden and I used to come here every Thursday.
“You’re not completely off the hook,” I said, taking a bite. “I will expect ice cream afterward.” Being with Joel was so easy. He made me feel lighter, simpler. I didn’t have to act or put on a brave face. I didn’t have to do anything but just be me.
“Ice cream? How long of a date do you think this will be?” He grinned, and I felt a surge of attraction for him. He was flawed and perfect at the same time. “By the way,” he asked, picking up his slice, “what happened to your phone?”
My breath caught. I had no reason to lie, and yet I didn’t like how this would sound. I lowered my eyes. “I, um. I forgot it in Aiden’s car.”
Silence.
When I finally looked up, Joel was chewing, seemingly unfazed by my comment. He took a sip of soda.
“He gave me a ride home. It was nothing.” Somehow my lackluster explanation made me sound guiltier.
“Didn’t know he was in town last night.” He took another bite, his eyes studying the side of his red cup.
“He’s been around since everything happened with the football team. He was sort of looking out for me. I mean us.” Gosh, I was really bad at this.
“Ah, of course, he was. I’ve seen him at school this week, too. Don’t think he likes me very much.” He smiled, looking up to meet my eyes. His hazel stare was calm, collected.
“No. No, I don’t think he does.” Hm … I didn’t know that Aiden had been at school. It seemed odd that he’d been missing so much course work lately. I wondered if everything was all right at college.
“Team seemed happy to see him though. The great legend coming back to grace us with his presence.”
Joel started to look slightly annoyed, and I set my pizza back down on my white, paper plate. “Hey. I’m really sorry. I know things have gotten pretty skewed since Blaze outed SOS. I hope they haven’t been giving you a hard time.”
“What? Like shoulder bumping me into the locker because I’m still hanging out with you? Psht. It’s nothing.”
I winced. “I’m so, so sorry.”
He shrugged. “Just between us, I’ll pick the cute cheerleader over the dickhead jock any day.” He paused. “Speaking of, did you want to talk about your secret-agent double life? I have to admit, I’m mildly curious.”
To be honest, I didn’t entirely feel like discussing it, but I knew it might be difficult for Joel to understand. “If you feel like you need to talk about it.”
His hazel eyes flicked up to mine. “I think I do.”
I nodded. To the average viewer, we probably didn’t make sense. But this was my chance to explain how great an organization we were. “Basically the Smitten Kittens run a secret society that investigates cheating boyfriends.”
“Wow. Interesting concept.”
“Thanks!” See! He totally got it.
“Unethical, too.”
Oh. Maybe not. “We were doing it for the right reasons, Joel. We were trying to help those unlucky in love. The wronged. The—”
“Yeah, but how exactly did you investigate?” He pulled his eyebrows together as if he couldn’t wrap his brain around it. I had a feeling that our tactics were the parts that the guys didn’t appreciate. But at least, we got proof and never falsely accused! Shouldn’t that count for something?
“What are you thinking about over there, Tiny Crimson? Your nose is all scrunched up and you look worried.”
“I don’t want you to be angry with me.”
He laughed and reached across the table to take my hand. I sort of wanted to pull away, but not because I didn’t like him. Because my hands were greasy from the pizza. It felt sort of gross.
“If I didn’t get angry about the fact that you’re losing things in your ex-boyfriend’s car, I won’t get angry about this.” But the fact that he’d brought it up told me that he was a little perturbed by my platonic late-night rendezvous with Aiden.
“Maybe we should go get that ice cream now,” I said, ready to get up.
“Tess, I just want to understand.”
I took a deep breath, afraid of his reaction. “Fine. We would break into people’s bedrooms, hack their computers, bug their phones.”
Joel stared at me calmly. I was so relieved! “I’m so glad you’re not freaking out.”
His eyes widened. “Wait. You weren’t joking just then? Holy shit, Tessa. Did you really do that stuff?”
Oops. “I did. We did.”
“Kira, too?”
I glanced down when he said her name. Why was he asking about Kira? Why did that make me a little jealous? “Yes.”
“This is pretty intense.”
“Sorry.”
Joel let go of my hand and brought his hands together as he rested his elbows on the table. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe how long you got away with it. I mean, I heard you were spying, but I didn’t … I didn’t actually think you were spying. Maybe driving by someone’s house to see whose car was there, or normal things like that. But this … This is f*cked up, Tess. Maybe it was a good thing you got busted. Because now it’s done.” He stopped and looked sharply at me. “It is done, right?”
His jaw was tight, but at the same time, he seemed less agitated than I thought he would be. I mean, Aiden sort of flipped when he’d found out. He kicked me out of his house and made me walk home! Then again, I had been spying on him.
“Not really.” I took a bite of my pizza with pineapple.
“What?”
I paused in my chewing. “What?”
“You said, ‘Not really.’ Do you mean you’re still spying?”
“Oh. Um … no. It’s just …” Frick and Frack! Where do I go from here?
“It’s a simple question, Tessa. Does SOS still exist or not?”
I knew I’d regret this. “Not.”
Joel watched me for a second, and I finished my bite and swallowed it self-consciously. I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t want to ruin the night either. Things had already gotten murky when I brought up Aiden.
“I don’t want to sound creepy and possessive right now,” he said slowly. “But I really don’t want you spying anymore.”
“I understand.” I took a sip from my soda and thought about that. To be honest, I didn’t understand. SOS stood for truth, justice, and the Smitten Kitten way. What could be so bad about that? I mean, sure, we were guilty of breaking and entering, but weren’t they guilty of cheating? That was way worse!
Joel exhaled. “It’s just …” He stopped and I looked up at him, alarmed by his change in tone. “I don’t like to talk about it, but my parent’s divorce was really messy. My mom caught my dad cheating, and she went nuts. And I mean completely nuts.”
I nodded, not sure what this had to do with me. But I was glad he was sharing. It showed he trusted me. “What happened?”
He rolled his eyes. “My dad was having an affair with the girl at the front desk of the auto body shop. She was into cars; my mom wasn’t. My dad’s not a bad guy, not really. But he definitely screwed up. He’s still seeing that girl. Judith.” He laughed, shaking his head. I got the feeling that he didn’t care much for Judith.
“And your mom?”
“See, that’s the funny part. She caught him. Told everyone. And caused enough drama to get him fired from his job and kicked out of his poker group. She was relentless. And the day the divorce papers were signed, she told me she was getting engaged.”
“What?”
“Some guy she’d met on match.com. She left my father with nothing, and it made her happy enough to move on. But I hated it. And they hate each other.”
“Wow, Joel. I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“How could you? I’ve only told one other person. And I wouldn’t bring it up now, but I guess after I heard what happened in the field house—what you were doing—I wanted to believe it wasn’t that unethical. But it sort of is, Tess. Even if you didn’t mean to, you’ve ruined people’s lives.”
Whoa. Hold the phone. “That is completely untrue.”
“Is it?” He cocked his head to the side, not looking mad, just curious. But I was offended. Yes, our investigations ended up breaking apart couples, but how healthy were they to begin with? His judgment was unfair. I was suddenly not all that thrilled to be sitting here with him in Sid’s Pizza. Even Aiden had been more understanding than this. And he made me walk!
Joel pushed his back against the booth and shook his head apologetically. “You know what? I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m a complete a*shole, so please ignore me.” He reached out to take my hand again. “Seriously, Tess. I didn’t mean to be so rude. I don’t know why I said that—maybe because of your ex-boyfriend. I’m an idiot.”
He looked so apologetic, and I felt awful for putting him in such a sour mood. He was always totally sweet to me, and I was making him crazy. I squeezed his hand.
But before I could respond, the front door of Sid’s Pizza jingled as it opened. Joel looked over his shoulder and Kira walked in, oblivious to us just a few feet away. My stomach backflipped to my spine, and I wished I didn’t have crutches because I might run for it.
She turned to us, and her ruby lips parted in surprise as she saw our hands clasped together in the middle of the table. I quickly yanked mine away. I was pretty sure the Earth stopped rotating and the planets aligned. This was the Apocalypse.
It seemed like an eternity, but luckily, Sid came in from the back and walked to the counter. He was a large man, always dressed in a white apron, usually covered in sauce. “Can I help you?”
Kira looked away from us quickly, her uncomfortable posture obvious to me. Then she approached the counter, saying that she’d called in for pickup. Joel turned back around and bit again from his slice as if nothing were wrong. Even though Kira wasn’t looking our way, I could tell by her stance that she was using her peripheral vision.
“You okay?” Joel asked.
I met his eyes. “Kira,” I whispered.
He shrugged. “It’s cool. I told her we were going out tonight.”
I sunk down in the booth even though Kira had already seen us. “Why would you tell her that?”
“Because I’m friends with her.”
This revelation sent a mixture of feelings through me that I didn’t expect. I was a little jealous, but also a little relieved. It was considerate of Joel to still be friends with his ex-girlfriend. But at the same time, I knew how Kira felt about him. And me. This would never work out. Eventually, he’d have to choose.
I glanced up at Kira just as Sid handed her a pizza and a Styrofoam wing box. She turned and faced me, swallowing hard.
“Hi, Tessa,” she said. Her face was unreadable. Without emotion. I wondered if she wanted to high kick me. I knew I’d want to kick a girl if I saw her with Aiden.
“Hi,” I replied quietly.
“Hey,” Joel said, nodding his chin to her. She smiled.
“Hey, yourself. I just saw your dad at the gas station. Judith was giving me those devil eyes again from the passenger seat. Thought her head was going to spin around this time.” They both laughed; I felt like the third wheel. Kira knew his family better than I did.
Good gravy! It occurred to me—she was probably the “one other person” he’d told about his family. I was getting slightly dizzy.
“Definitely glad I’m at my mom’s tonight,” Joel said. “You wanna sit down for a sec?” He slid over in his seat, motioning to it. I felt my chest seize up. I didn’t think I could survive anything that awkward!
“That’s sweet, but I can’t. I’m picking up a pizza for my mother. The Bachelor is on tonight.” She held up the boxes.
“Woo hoo. Party at the Reynold’s house.”
She giggled, and I knew what was happening. Joel was being cute. Charming. I suddenly felt like I was intruding on their date.
I went to take a nervous sip from my soda, but instead, I knocked into my cup and had to move swiftly to catch it. I saved it, but some splashed out anyway. Quickly, I started to grab napkins to soak it up, but the movement drew attention from both of them. And probably made me look jealous. Kira sucked at her teeth and then returned a look to Joel.
“I gotta run. I’ll see you around?” she asked.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He waved, and just as she opened the door, she looked over her shoulder at me.
“Night, Tessa.” But she left before I could even form a response. I was completely shaken.
“I’m sorry.”
I glanced up to see Joel watching me. I tried to smooth down my hair as if I weren’t a frazzled mess. “For what?”
“That was uncomfortable. For all of us.”
“You seemed fine.”
“Why, Tessa Crimson?” He mock gasped. “Are you jealous? Should I go ask her for a ride home?” He grinned.
“You can be friends with whomever you want. It’s just that I don’t want there to be any animosity between the Smitten Kittens. I can’t—”
“Kira’s okay,” he interrupted. “We’ve talked about remaining friends, and I’ve told her that you and I are friends, too. Unless …”
He paused, waiting for me to finish the sentence. Only, I didn’t know how. I didn’t know what we were. I wasn’t sure I was ready to decide. He laughed.
“I’ll spare you the Jeopardy theme song that’s running through my head right now. Save your answer. Now stop frowning and finish your pizza. I know the perfect place for ice cream.”
“I wasn’t frowning.” I took a bite.
“Yes, you were,” he whispered.
I laughed. Eating the rest of my pizza, I pushed aside all thoughts of Kira or Aiden. Truth was Joel didn’t agree with what I’d done with SOS, but he was still here by my side. There was something special about that. I liked this simple existence with him.
It was a good place to be.
I need to see you. I’m not sure I can keep doing this. I hate myself. Meet me outside the 7-Eleven at midnight. I’ll be wearing black.
Izzie