Chapter 20
Christmas Eve, for all its magical meaning, fell on an enchanting day with a snowfall so pure and light that it seemed to keep in harmony with the classical Christmas music Anne had playing. Days ago Anne and I had decorated the tree that Jericho and Reece had so thoughtfully brought over, and with the tree came a gift from Jericho to Anne and a gift from Reece to me.
In exchange I had made an assortment of baked goods for Reece and placed them in red and green cellophane bags tied with ribbon.
Resting under the tree in a tiny blue box tied with gold trim sat the gift he had given to me. Beside it was another gift, from Anne. There weren’t many presents but that somehow made the gifts that were there seem even more special.
A pang rose in my throat as it reminded me of my dad and the cozy holidays we always spent together. We lacked the material things but more than made up for it with meaningful moments. My hand lightly brushed down the pine needles until my fingers rested on a small, worn ornament. The date was etched into the frame and under the date was a tiny black and white photo of my parents and me. I sat on my dad’s lap and my mom was leaned in to both of us. I stared at our image, now a distant memory lost in time. I couldn’t imagine why our time together had been so brief and why their love couldn’t have been for a lifetime. What would it have been like if she had lived? What would it be like right now if we were together the way it should be?
I heard Anne humming in the kitchen and the scent of garlic bread and lasagna perfumed the air with warmth and comfort. I knew that Anne was putting the finishing touches on her meal before Jericho and Reece came over for dinner. I had already ironed a red tablecloth and arranged Anne’s holiday China on the round table - a table for four. Pandora came around the corner. I heard her before I saw her. Anne had tied a red ribbon and a small bell around her neck. I leaned down and let Pandora touch my face with her wet nose. Giggling I motioned for her to follow as I led the way into the living room. I sat on the couch and looked outside as the snow fell. The street was empty and bathed in a blanket of white. The snowfall reminded me of Christmas in Woodland Park and of the last Christmas with my dad.
He had given me another set of tablets to journal in and a beautiful red sweater, which was quite the gift as my dad didn’t like to shop. Earlier I had gone into Old Colorado City and had a man carve my dad’s favorite military poem into a piece of polished wood. I had also taken my dad’s camera and a tripod and with Pandora by my side, took a self-portrait that I framed for him. Later we sat side by side at our little kitchen table, lit a single red candle, and ate fondue as we watched Pandora frolic in the snow.
And now I was here, in Anne’s home awaiting friends and making new memories with the old ones to sustain me.
“Oh Jericho, it’s beautiful!” Anne held up an ornament, much like the one I had been looking at earlier. Except this one was a photo of Jericho and Anne, taken on Thanksgiving.
Jericho smiled. “I’m glad you like it. I’m not really good at this sort of thing.”
Anne leaned over and kissed him while he put his arm around her. Reece was sitting next to me and leaned in closer as he pointed to the blue box.
“Your turn.”
His arm brushed against mine as he reached for the box. I looked at Anne and could see her anticipation. Reece handed me the gift and his finger trailed one of mine as I took it from him. I tugged at the ribbon and opened the box. A black felt box lay inside and I flipped it open to see a ring with a small emerald cut garnet set between two small diamonds. Before I could say anything Reece cleared his throat.
“I know it’s your birthstone, January 5, right? I’ve never seen you wear a ring. I saw it and thought you would like it. You’ve had quite a journey and they say that the garnet is a protective gem of journeyers.”
“Reece, that was very kind of you,” Anne praised.
He beamed at her in return.
“Thanks for the tip on her allergy.”
I took the ring out, turned it over, and sighed.
“Reece, I can’t, it’s too much.”
Reece looked crestfallen.
“I couldn’t think of what else to get you, what else would suit you. I saw this and thought of you.”
Jericho leaned forward to pat his son on the shoulder and winked at me.
“Don’t disappoint the boy. He worked a long time for that.”
Not wanting to damper anyone’s spirits, and feeling remarkably touched by his gift, no matter how undeserved, I smiled and slid the ring on my middle finger.
“It fits…”
I looked up at Reece and raised my hand to show him.
“That was very generous…I don’t know what else to say,” I said.
“Thank you is always good,” Anne suggested with a smile.
“Yes, of course. Thank you Reece.”
I reached over to hug him and he hugged me back even tighter. I pulled away and extended my hand to gaze at the ring.
“How did you know what size to buy?”
“I didn’t. Not really. I guessed. When we were holding hands--you know, on Thanksgiving--I was comparing your fingers to mine. I wanted to get it right and I knew I couldn’t ask.”
I tried to keep from blushing as what I remembered most from that day was the kiss we shared and how it had been so pure. I looked into Reece’s olive-green eyes and wondered if he was sharing my thoughts. When it appeared he did by the tender way he studied me, I averted his gaze and warmed up inside. I had a wonderful relationship with Reece but somehow I doubted whether I was good for him. I looked down at my hand and suddenly felt older than my years.
“Shall we go eat?” Anne asked.
By the time we finished dessert and were relaxing with warm mugs of white hot chocolate, Reece and I were playing a card game on the coffee table while Anne and Jericho dawdled in the kitchen.
Reece and I were playfully throwing a couple marshmallows at each other when we heard the unmistakable sound of a kiss. We looked at each other while trying to suppress our mutual amusement. Reece leaned over and inclined his head toward the front door.
“Come with me.”
I took his hand and followed him quietly.
“I want to ask you something,” he whispered as he shot me a devilish grin. He began to open the door and I laughed out loud.
“What, I couldn’t possibly, I have no shoes on…“
Very swiftly Reece scooped me up in his arms and swept me out the door. Once outside he spun me around while holding me tight. I leaned my head back and laughed joyfully. Snow was still falling, the porch was covered in light powder, and I was in a red silk shirt, black pants and black socks but I couldn’t have been any warmer than I was in the comforting arms that held me.
Reece laughed as snow accumulated in our hair and then he was still, keeping me cradled against him while looking at me seriously. The smile faded from my lips as I gazed back at him. I felt my heart rate accelerate as his frosty breath fanned my face and I closed my eyes when I felt his warm lips press against mine, softly at first and then with urgency. I moved my hand from his arm to caress his neck. Reece was the one to pull back first and he did so slowly. With tender concern he looked at me and without saying anything he brought me back inside. We shook the snow from our hair and clothes and I excused myself so I could change but as I took one step in front of him, he pulled me back until my back was pressed against his chest.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he whispered against my hair. “Would you go out with me?”
“Are you asking about a date or a relationship?” I questioned quietly, all the while trying to keep my heart from palpitating. Reece didn’t know it but he was the only one I had ever kissed.
“I want you to be with me,” he said with confidence.
Not knowing how to answer I stood there anxiously.
“Maybe we should have had this conversation before kissing.”
“Maybe, but words would have ruined the moment.”
His voice lowered even more, “This isn’t some crush. Not for me. I care about you.”
Fearfully I began to panic. My mind raced. I was unsure about everything and everyone. Why couldn’t this be simple? Why did it feel so right and yet so wrong? I was cruel and undeserving. Tears hovered near the surface. I pulled free from the arms that held me so protectively and without looking back I sprinted up the stairs and into my room, away from him and away from the pressure that permeated the air.