The Summer I Became a Nerd

#21

“Call me when you get there and when y’all are on your way home, okay?” Mom asks as we pull up to Terra’s house.

This is going to be so uncomfortable.

Terra is waiting by her car, tapping her foot. As I approach, she throws my homemade Allison T-shirt at me, then gets in the

driver’s seat for the quick drive over to Rayann’s house. She doesn’t say anything, not one word.

This doesn’t bode well.

After a minute or two, I try to break the tension. “How excited are you? I’m so excited.”

“Excited. Yeah.” She keeps her eyes on the road as she turns down Rayann’s street. “So…did you have fun bowling the other

day?”

No use in denying anything now. “It was great.”

She looks at me. “Really? That’s all you’ve got to say about it? You don’t return my calls or my texts, and now you’re

glossing over this like it isn’t a big deal? Who was the guy, Mad? Is he why you haven’t been talking to me?”

Great. Here we go. “No. I mean, he’s just this guy I’ve been seeing.”

“You’ve been seeing someone else? What about Eric?”

I’m quick to answer. This part I’ve rehearsed, at least. “I broke up with him a while ago. But he was too busy in Florida to

listen to his voice mails so—”

Terra shrieks. “You broke up with him over voice mail?”

I hold my hands out, pleading. “Yes. I know how crappy that sounds. Believe me, I know. But he wouldn’t answer his phone.”

“Who is he—the new guy?”

I close my eyes. Here it is. There won’t be any going back from this, but I owe Terra the truth. “Logan Scott.”

“Isn’t he in our English class? Isn’t he the one who got expelled last year because of—”

“It wasn’t porn. It was just a cartoon or something,” I snap.

“Why didn’t you tell me about all this?” Terra’s trying to keep her hand talking under control but is losing the battle. I

actually consider asking her to pull over, but we’re already at Rayann’s. She pulls into the driveway and jams the car into

park. “Or have you forgotten that’s what best friends do?”

Before I can answer her, she gets out and slams her door.

I jump out, too, and chase after her, but Rayann is waiting outside, her drama-pirate eyes trained on me. I decide to wait until

Terra and I are alone to continue the conversation.

Rayann and Terra sit in the front, leaving me to sit in silence in the backseat. Once we hit the interstate, I duck down behind

Rayann’s seat to change my shirt. It’s kind of hard to get comfortable in it because all the painted parts are stiff.

Terra and Rayann start practicing the chant that was my idea, and I try my best to memorize it since this is the first time I’ve

heard it. After their third recitation, Rayann pipes up. “Are you getting all this, Maddie?”

“Yeah, I… I got it.”

Terra glances at me over her shoulder. “Should we do it again? You know, in case you’ve forgotten how to cheer, too?”

Rayann’s eyebrows shoot up as she looks between me and Terra. To cut off the questions I see brewing in her eyes, I quickly say,

“No, no, I got it. Really.”

“It’s pretty awesome, right?” she asks, still watching me too closely. “It just popped into my head the other day. It’s a

good thing it did, too, because we didn’t have anything else. I mean, we weren’t even sure you’d show up, Maddie.”

I glare at the back of Rayann’s head. As if I need her to remind my best friend how much I suck. I put a hand on Terra’s

shoulder. “Terra, I—”

She cuts me off by handing Rayann an Allison CD. “Make it loud.”

Okay, I can take a hint. I keep quiet, staring out at the passing wilderness as we barrel down I-49. Before I know it, we’re

waiting in the car line for a parking spot at the coliseum.

I trail behind Terra and Rayann as we make our way up to the ticket desk with the rest of the Allison fans. They’re mostly girls

the same age as us with the occasional young boy stalker-type and lots of parents who look like they’d love to be anywhere but

here.

I know exactly how those parents feel.

As we find our seats, I realize how bad of an idea this was. Terra asks to trade seats with Rayann, but Rayann doesn’t want to

sit by me either. I feel like crap for ruining this experience for Terra, so I try to talk to her one more time.

“Terra, just let me say I’m sorry, please.”

No answer. She just stares straight ahead at the empty stage.

“You’re not being fair. I’ve been dealing with a lot of stuff lately.”

“Oh really? And what? Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? You pretended like I didn’t even exist the other day!”

Rayann’s head whips toward us on full alert. She doesn’t even try to hide her excitement. Drama pirate ahoy! “What’s going on?

”

“Maddie’s been avoiding me for God knows what reason, though probably because she’s seeing a guy she didn’t tell me about.

Like she doesn’t trust me or something. And now she’s trying to apologize, but she can’t seem to think about anyone else but

herself.” I seriously fear for my life during her rant because she keeps throwing her hands in the air. Angry, hand-talking Terra

is way more dangerous than drunk leave-a-bruise-on-your-arm-talking Terra.

Rayann gasps. “You’re cheating on Eric? With who?”

“I’m not cheating,” I snap. “Stay out of this, Rayann.”

“Don’t bite her head off. At least she talks to me. At least she knows the cheer you were supposed to come up with.”

When the hell did Terra start sticking up for Rayann? What kind of bizarro world is this?

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Terra says so quietly I almost don’t hear her. “Why, Maddie? You’re my best friend.” She sounds

so sad I want to hug her, but she probably wouldn’t let me.

I sigh. “It’s just that I didn’t think you’d like this new guy, is all.”

“So, let me get this straight,” Terra says, her eyes narrowing. “You’ve been avoiding me because you think I’d be so shallow

as to not like this guy because of some dumb shirt?”

I open my mouth to respond, but it takes me a second. “Well, when you put it that way, it makes it sound stupid, but—”

“That’s because it is stupid, Maddie. And that’s not even the worst of it. Did you ever consider that maybe you aren’t the

center of the world? That maybe, just maybe, I have crap going on, too? Crap that I should be able to talk to my best friend

about? But have I been able to talk to you about it? No, because you won’t answer your phone or return my calls. Because

apparently, you’ve been off committing social suicide by dumping Eric. I mean, who does junk like that? Only you, Maddie, only

you.”

“See, you just proved my point. It’s all about popularity with you.”

She rolls her eyes. “It is not! And you just proved my point. Out of everything I just said, the one thing you pick out is the

last part, not the part about you being a selfish ass.”

I have never, ever seen her like this; not when she caught Peter flirting with that sophomore, not when her mom took away her cell

phone for making 829 texts in one month, not even when Rolling Stone trashed Allison’s new album.

Rayann kind of covers her mouth and snorts at Terra’s “selfish ass” comment, and maybe I’m acting like a child, but that’s

the last straw. I go on the defensive.

“Fine, you know what, I don’t even want to be here. I shouldn’t have come. I don’t even like Allison Blair!”

It feels like a million faces are staring at me now. Leave it to me to go into the equivalent of a Star Wars convention and be

stupid enough to say I’m actually a die-hard Trekker. Terra’s face is the most surprised and hurt out of all of them, though.

She’s just looking at me, mouth hanging open, eyes wide.

“I don’t belong here.” I start gathering my stuff.

Terra’s expression turns into a scowl. “Then why are you still here?”

Hearing those words makes my heart hurt. Just as I start maneuvering my way back the way we came, the lights go out, and the crowd

lets out a collective cheer.

…

The lobby is nearly empty. I feel like a little lost puppy as I lean against a wall and try to figure out what to do next. I look

in my purse for my cell, but something else catches my eye. A corner of the NerdCon pass peeks out at the bottom of my purse. I

should have given it back to Logan, or at least to Dan. NerdCon is happening right now, at this very moment. I don’t know if

Logan is there, but after everything that just happened with Terra, I feel reckless.

I walk up to the clerk at the ticket desk. “Excuse me, I need a taxi. How does that work, exactly?”

The guy looks me over and frowns. “How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

“Okay… I could call one for you, I guess. Are you sure you’re eighteen?” He picks up the phone.

“Of course, I’m sure,” I say, pretending to be insulted. If I’ve learned anything about lying, it’s that I have to make it

look good.

It starts to drizzle as I stand outside and wait for the taxi. When it pulls up, it’s not yellow and black like I expected, but

just a normal-looking maroon grandma car. I get in the back and read the driver the address from the back of the pass.

During the drive, Terra calls a couple of times, but I don’t answer. Might as well be consistent in my awful-friendness. After I

pay the driver, I get out and throw on the pass. I’ve only taken a few steps toward the front doors of the enormous convention

center when a drunk Wookie runs into me from behind. I hit the ground hard, scraping my bare knees and hands on the concrete. The

big furball doesn’t even say he’s sorry; he just growls the Wookie growl and goes inside.

And here come the tears, right on cue. The rain is really starting to come down now, my so-called best friend just basically told

me to eff off, and I’m picking out pieces of possibly vomit-encrusted grit from open wounds on my knees and palms.

Best. Night. Ever.

My phone rings. It’s Mom. Crap. I forgot to call when we got to the concert.

“Where are you?” She sounds a lot more frantic than I expected. I almost always forget to do the “call me when you get there”

thing. But then she says, “Terra just called and said she can’t find you. That she’s been all over the concert looking for you.

”

I’m such a jerk. I’m the worst person in the history of people. Of course my best friend would call my mom. She may hate my

guts, but she still cares. “I’m… I’m fine.”

“I’m going to ask you one more time, Madelyne Jean Summers, and you better not lie to me. Where. Are. You?”

I know better than to argue with that tone of voice. “I’m at NerdCon. In Shreveport.”

“What? Where is that? Why… You know what, we’ll talk about it when you get home. I’m calling your brother to come pick you up.

” She hangs up.

I find a covered bus bench, thank God, and I sit. I wonder if I’d have time to run in and find Logan, but I quickly dismiss that

idea. I look like warmed-over cat crap. I don’t want to be that girl. The damsel in distress. I don’t want him to feel sorry for

me.

A few minutes later, I get a text from my brother asking where I am exactly. He’s going to be so pissed. When I see his little

blue truck pull up, I dash over.

“Call Mom and tell her I’m here,” he says through the open window. He has Dad’s blue eyes like I do and the same dirty blond

hair, but he has 20/20 vision which I’ve always been jealous of.

“Come on, Ro. Can’t you do it?”

He rolls up the window and locks the door just as I try to open it.

I sigh and kick his tire. Mom picks up on the first ring. “Roland is here,” I say.

“Get in the truck and come home.” She hangs up. Oh man, I’m so in for it.

I hear the door locks click when I press end on my phone, and I jump in. He doesn’t say a word. He just glowers at the road

ahead, not even acknowledging my presence. Considering he’s been off getting a bunch of psychology degrees, I expected a bit more

of an interrogation.

“Thanks,” I say as we hit the on-ramp to I-49.

Again, silence. This is getting old.

“Look, I didn’t ask Mom to call you, she just did. I was fine—”

“Yeah, you look fine. And by fine I mean warmed-over cat crap.”

“Well, thank you very much. I really appreciate that.” I cross my arms, sinking farther down into my seat.

He laughs a little. “You can’t pull that wounded bird routine with me.” True. He’s never let me get away with being a “poor

little girl.” On one hand it’s great because he always treats me like we’re on the same level. On the other hand, it sucks

because I can never get anything by him. “What the hell were you doing there? Mom said you were supposed to be at a concert. How

did you end up across town?”

“I took a cab.”

“Why?”

Now he wants to talk. “I don’t want to talk about it. Just drive, please?”

“If you don’t tell me what’s going on right now, I will pull this truck over.”

“Stop treating me like I’m a five-year-old!” I kick one of the empty fast food cups lying on the floorboard.

“Then stop acting like one!”

I go quiet for a few minutes, debating on what to tell him. It’s when he pushes the brakes and starts to pull over onto the

shoulder do I give up trying to think of a half truth.

“Okay! I was trying to find a guy.”

He speeds up. “What guy? Eric? That’s the boyfriend’s name, right?” I’m surprised he remembers his name. I don’t usually

talk to Ro about Eric.

“No, not Eric. We’re not together anymore. Logan. I was trying to find Logan.”

“Who’s Logan?” He waggles his eyebrows, trying to cheer me up, but that’s not going to help.

“He’s…” How do I explain?

In his calm, psychiatrist voice, he says, “Just start from the beginning, Maddie.”