The Summer I Became a Nerd

#20

She doesn’t deserve him, and if I’m honest with myself, neither do I. But I’m not going down without a fight. It’s funny what

one snotty, evil fairy and an overbearing, foul-mouthed dwarf can incite in me.

My phone beeps when I pick it up. Eric called while I was downstairs. Seeing this makes my heart plummet. Terra must have told

Peter, and now Eric’s sitting up and paying attention to the fact that he was dumped for another guy. The last thing I want to do

right now is to talk to him, but I’m tired of all of this.

So, I call him back.

“Hey, babe. I’m back in town, just about to head over to Mes Amis. Want to have lunch?”

My mouth opens and closes a few times. Lunch? Why can’t we do this over the phone? Heck, I’ve already taken care of the messy

part. All he needs to say is, “I understand, Maddie. You like this nerd boy better than you like me. Can we still be friends?”

Not like that’ll happen. He probably wants to yell at me for embarrassing him in front of Peter. I can handle it, though. Once

this is over, we can go about our lives until school starts back up, and everything will go back to normal.

And if I’m extremely lucky, normal for me might—fingers crossed—include Logan.

“Sounds great,” I lie. “See you in a bit.”

I hang up and turn around to leave, but Dan blocks the doorway with his arms crossed.

“Listen,” he says in a low, serious voice I never imagined he was capable of. “Logan is a really good guy. He has a lot on his

shoulders with the shop going belly up and his brother and sisters and his parents doing everything in their power just to make

ends meet.” He takes a deep breath and looks down. “If you’re not serious about him, if you don’t like him as much as he likes

you, if you can’t be honest with him, then don’t even bother, okay? The guy has been practically in love with you ever since

ninth grade. It would totally destroy his existence if, you know, you ended up not… Well, you know.”

“Really?” I know this is not the earth-shattering proclamation of love Dan hopes to hear from me, but it’s all I can say. The

idea of Logan pining over me was shocking enough, but to find out it’s been even longer is freaking me out. Ninth grade is before

I started keeping an eye on him because of his silly, porn-that’s-not-porn shirt and his fraying laces.

“Yeah, man, really.” He steps aside. “So don’t jerk him around, okay?”

Dan and I have our own moment then. Our goals are the same. I think he realizes this when I look at him and nod my head because he

pounds his chest with a closed fist and says, “Go get him, elf.”

…

On the way to Mes Amis, I run through what I’m going to say to Eric, but I keep coming up with the same old, tired lines.

It’s not you, it’s me.

I don’t deserve you.

I’ve been lying to everyone ever since the seventh grade and can’t live with myself anymore. Oh, and I’ve met someone else, and

I pick him over you.

Blah, blah, blah.

When I pull into the Mes Amis parking lot, I still haven’t decided what I’m going to say. I get out of the car and redo my

ponytail as I stare at The Phoenix’s lot. There’s one car: a black VW Beetle, one of the new ones, with a Hello Kitty doll

hanging by a noose from the rearview mirror. I frown. Now, who would hate something so adorable that much?

I get the answer to my question when the bell over The Phoenix’s door rings and out steps Kelsey. She doesn’t look much

different from the last time I saw her. She’s still dressed in black, black, black, except her wings are missing. She really does

pull off the mysterious, dark look well. Her every movement seems effortless and focused as she walks over to the Beetle, opens

the door, and leans over the driver’s seat to dig in the console.

Images flash through my mind. Her spouting horrible things about me to Logan. Logan agreeing with her. Her and Logan making out in

the cramped office, knocking the fully poseable Wendy action figure behind the desk where she’ll gather dust.

I glance through the window of Mes Amis. Eric is seated in our usual booth, engrossed in a conversation with a hot waitress over

the menu. I don’t feel even a twinge of jealousy that he’s already moved on. This is good. Plus, him being distracted gives me a

chance to deal with the more pressing matter first.

I stroll across the grass separating the two parking lots, but before I get anywhere near the door to The Phoenix, Kelsey pulls

her head out of her cute-hating-car. We make eye contact.

“If it isn’t the elven princess.” Her voice is venomous.

I’m not a very confrontational person so this whole “let’s be mean to each other” thing is new to me. My only retort is,

“That’s me.” I continue on to The Phoenix.

“He doesn’t want to talk to you.”

I try to see past the cardboard stand-up of Iron Man in the display window, but I can’t get a clear view of the register counter.

“Why doesn’t he want to talk to me?”

“Why do you think?” She steps closer. “He sees what a fraud you are.”

I sigh and put my hands on my hips. “Look, this whole showdown outside the comic shop is fun and all, but I don’t have time for

this.” Zing!

She starts slapping the CD she got out of her car against her thigh.

“What’s that?” I ask. “Some depressing, moody song you want him to play on his show?”

Her lips curl into a snarl, but before she can say anything else, The Phoenix’s bell rings again.

Logan stands there, holding the door open. He looks back and forth between the two of us and chews on his bottom lip.

I give him my brightest smile. “Hi, Logan, can I talk to you?”

His stature goes from slumped to stiff-backed. He stares at the passing cars for a second or two. “Sure. Kelsey, could you watch

the counter for me?”

She huffs, her exhaled breath rustling her straight-edged bangs. “Fine, but only for a minute. I want you to listen to this song,

remember?”

I look down and grin at my feet as she passes between Logan and me.

Logan lets the door close behind her, and I follow him over to the corner of the building so we’re not standing in front of the

windows.

“So?” He leans against the brick wall and crosses his arms. When he does this it makes the sleeves of his T-shirt raise up a

little, displaying his well-toned goalie muscles. It’s distracting, but this is not the time to get all fluttery over his

muscles. Not when there’s an evil ex and a soon-to-be-confronted ex in the vicinity.

“I just… I’m sorry.” My stomach sinks, and even I want to roll my eyes at the pitiful apology. Wow. Maybe I should have been

deciding what I was going to say to Logan on my ride over here because “I’m sorry” doesn’t really cut it.

“What for?”

“I don’t know. Just everything. I shouldn’t have—”

“Maddie? What’s going on?” a deep voice asks behind me, and I squeeze my eyes shut.

This cannot be happening.

Logan pushes off the brick wall and drops his arms, his hands turning into fists.

I turn to see Eric standing there. His brows are knitted together as he looks past me. At Logan.

“Eric, can you give me a minute?”

“All right, babe. I’m hungry though.”

“Wait.” Logan steps closer to me. “I thought you two were over. What’s he doing here?”

“Dude, back up. I’m here ‘cause she’s my girlfriend, and we were going to have lunch.” He grabs my arm, not hard or anything,

he’s just trying to lead me to the restaurant. “Come on, Maddie.”

“Wait, what?” Girlfriend? But the voice mail…the breakup that happened days ago. Today was just supposed to tie up all the

loose ends, but maybe he thinks we’re going to get back together? I try to pry myself from his grasp, but Eric won’t let go. The

look he gives me is totally confused.

“Let go of her!” Logan moves forward. He puts both hands flat against Eric’s chest and pushes. Eric releases me and stumbles

back a bit. His face goes from shocked to angry in about two seconds. Before I know what’s happening, he rears back, then slams

his fist into Logan’s face. It sounds horrible; a wet, fleshy, smack that echoes off the brick and cement surrounding us.

Logan falls back against the wall, but he doesn’t go down. He bends over, a hand against the left side of his face.

That’s when I realize I’m just standing there with my mouth hanging open. I step between them with my hands raised toward Eric.

He holds his fist out in front of him like he’s not sure what it just did.

“Stop!” I yell, and Eric’s gaze darts from Logan to me. I turn to Logan and put a hand on his back. I bend over to look into

his face. At least there isn’t any blood. “Are you okay?”

He jerks away from my touch and stares at me through one eye, his other still covered by his hand. His mouth is pinched into a

thin line. I reach up to touch his face, but he jerks away again and starts backing toward the shop door.

“Logan, please?” I whisper.

“You’ve been with him this whole time, haven’t you?”

The question is a knife in my gut. I stutter out some words that don’t make any sense. “I… He… It’s just that…”

“You lied to me. Why? You could have just told me—“

“I didn’t lie. I’ve left voice mails.” I turn to Eric and pray he backs me up. “Why didn’t you call me back?”

Eric blinks. “You broke up with me?”

I can only stare at him, shock temporarily shutting down my ability to speak. Or think. I turn back to Logan to plead my case, but

he just shakes his head, accusation and hurt written all over his face. Then he opens the door and disappears inside.

“What the hell, Maddie?” Eric asks.

All I can do is bury my face in my hands.

“Maddie?” he asks again.

I close my eyes, fighting back the tears that want to fall.

As I walk away, Eric just stands there in front of The Phoenix, dumbstruck. I’m almost to my car when he catches up to me.

“Maddie, wait, we need to talk.”

He’s right. Maybe I can just rip this off quick like a Band-Aid. “I—”

“No, let me go first.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and takes a deep breath. “I met this girl in Florida. You know I’ve

always wanted to go to college there”—I never knew he wanted to go to college there which makes me an even worse girlfriend—

“and she’s going to go there too. I guess I should have told you when I realized… You know… But, I wanted to tell you in

person, not over the phone. That’s why I thought we could have lunch today.”

“You were going to break up with me at lunch?”

“Yeah.”

“You did realize I’d left you messages, right?”

“Yeah.”

I tame my frustration by letting out a slow breath and counting to five in my head. “And why didn’t you listen to them?”

“I don’t know. I guess I felt bad, like I was cheating on you. And everything was happening so fast.”

“Well, in those messages, I broke up with you.”

He lets out a big guffaw. “Really? Man, that’s crazy. It’s weird, right? It’s like that thing, what’s it called?”

I sigh. “Irony?”

“Yeah. That.”

I stare at him, and he stares at me for a long time. His face looks the complete opposite of how I feel, all sun-kissed and glowy.

Then, I laugh. And laugh.

“Maddie?” he asks in a concerned tone. He should be concerned, I’m on the edge of having myself committed.

Finally, I calm down. “If I had just talked to you first, none of that would have happened.”

“You mean the whole thing with that guy? Who is he anyway? Doesn’t he go to school with us?”

“His name is Logan, and yes, he goes to school with us. Wait, if you were going to break up with me, why did you hit him?”

“Well, it looked like he was bugging you, and then he pushed me, and technically, you were still my girlfriend, or at least I

thought so. I had to defend your honor… Or something.”

“That was not cool, Eric. You can’t just go around punching people.”

He holds his hands up. “I know. I’ll fix it.”

I lean against my car door and look up at the sky. “I have something to tell you.”

“You mean, something other than you like this other guy?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“I like comic books.”

He’s quiet for a while. I wait for his cringe of disgust.

“And?” he asks.

“And dressing up like an elf and playing video games and watching sci-fi and all that stuff.”

He purses his lips and squints his eyes a little. I know this is his thinking face. “Okay.”

“Okay? That’s okay?”

“Sure. I like that stuff, too, although I’ve never dressed like an elf, but ya know, to each his own.”

I’m baffled. Who is this creature before me? Where’s the taunting? The promises of wedgies and stuffing me in my locker next

school year?

Maybe I’m in shock. I need one of those blankets the paramedics give people who’ve been through a trauma. Maybe I need to lie

down and elevate my feet. A long silence stretches out between us as I try to wrap my head around the idea of a tolerant Eric.

Finally, he says, “Well, okay then. So that’s that, right?”

“I guess so.”

He opens his arms for a hug. “Still friends?”

“Yeah, still friends.”

The hug is uncomfortable, to say the least. He walks back to Mes Amis, and I stare after him, still utterly confused.

I get in my car and pull into traffic. It only takes a few seconds for everything to hit me.

I am the worst person ever.