Shame on Me

“The coast is clear,” my mother informs us.

As I sit up I look over at Matt to see how he’s doing. “Are you okay?”

He rights himself in his seat and stares straight out the front window to the end of Vinnie’s driveway, which Melanie just vacated.

Shit. Why in the hell do I do this to myself? I shouldn’t be lusting after someone who’s still hung up on his ex.

He just witnessed her leaving another man’s home. I mean, he had a feeling she was seeing someone else, but now he pretty much has proof since she just left the guy’s house with her hair looking like it spent plenty of hours on another man’s pillow.

“Matt?” I whisper his name and he finally blinks out of his daze and looks over at me. When he sees the worry on my face, he smiles reassuringly at me.

“It’s just weird. I mean, I’ve known her since college. At one time she was my best friend. I knew this was happening, but it’s just . . . I don’t know. Hard to see it with my own eyes.”

I swallow roughly and try not to let it bother me that he’s hurt over that lying skank.

I remove my hand from its death grip on the steering wheel. I slide my fingers through his and give his hand a gentle squeeze.

“I didn’t even get to use my gun.” Mom sniffs irritably from the backseat, and just like that, I stop feeling sorry for myself. “Can we get some food now? I need to take my pills.”



After stopping at a diner on our way home, my mom hops out of my car as soon as I pull into my parking spot, telling me to keep her posted and that if I need her help, to give her a call.

Matt and I stand silently next to my car, and watch her pull out of the parking lot and drive away.

“Well, that was informative,” Matt says with a laugh.

“Sorry about all of those childhood stories she bored you with. I swear I don’t make up dances to Madonna songs anymore and force my mother and her friends to watch me perform them over dinner.”

Matt moves in front of me and brushes a strand of hair out of my eyes with his fingertips.

“I don’t know; I think I’d kind of like to see you shaking your thing to ‘Like a Virgin,’” he laughs.

I smack him playfully in the chest, leaving my hand to rest over his heart. When I feel the muscles of his pecs under my hands, my brain immediately goes right into lusty territory, and I wonder again what he looks like naked. And how soon I can get a glimpse of said nakedness.

We stare silently at each other for several minutes. The butterflies in my stomach are threatening to escape if he doesn’t do something soon. Something like kiss the ever-living hell out of me.

I know I should back away. I can tell he’s trying to forget about what he saw earlier and there’s an internal war going on inside of him right now. Before I can move away from him, he shakes his head and curses.

“Fuck it.”

He grabs my face in his hands and pulls me to him. As soon as our lips touch, I know I’m never going to pass up a chance to kiss this man. Matt doesn’t waste any time deepening the kiss and I moan into his mouth when his tongue skims against mine. Bringing my arms up to his shoulders, I pull him closer. He leans his body against mine, pressing me against the side of my car.

This man knows how to kiss. His lips are soft, yet firm, and his tongue does delicious things to me as it swirls though my mouth. Desire pools in my stomach and my hips instinctively shift against him. I want to feel him everywhere. I want his hands on my naked body and I want him inside me. I’ve never craved anyone this much, not even Andy. I was attracted to him, and sex with him was always good, but I never felt like I would die if I didn’t have him.

Matt’s hands drop from my face and slide around my hips to cup my ass, pulling me harder against him. I can feel the evidence of his need for me and it just makes everything sweeter. Every slide of his tongue, every press of his lips, every whisper of air he breathes into me is so delectable that I never want it to end.

He gently sucks my tongue into his mouth and thrusts his hips between my legs. I can feel his erection sliding against me and my need for him climbs to new heights. I can’t stop myself from pushing back against him, the desire I feel taking over where common sense left off. We’re dry humping each other against the side of my car in broad daylight, and his kiss made me completely forget that just an hour ago, he was saddened by the sight of seeing his ex leaving another man’s house.

A car honks in the distance, and Matt pulls his mouth away from mine. “I really, really need to leave,” he tells me softly, pressing his forehead against mine.

“Oh, okay.” I can’t keep the dejection out of my voice.

I really don’t understand why he can’t just bang me on the hood of the car.