Shadow in Serenity

twenty-one


Leaning against Logan’s car fender, Carny watched Logan and Jack emerge from the woods behind the Trents’ house. She saw the look of guilt that passed across his face when he saw her. “Where’s my son?” she asked.

“With Nathan — down at the lake fishing.”

“Have you been with him?” She already knew the answer. Her flight had been canceled, so she’d come home early. When she’d come next door to pick up Jason, she’d discovered the truth.

“Yeah, we did a little fishing,” he admitted.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve,” she said through her teeth.

He sighed and slumped against the car. “What exactly is wrong with my going fishing with your son?”

“First, you didn’t ask my permission. And second, I warned you to stay away from him.”

“Look, Jason invited me,” he said. “He’s a hard kid to reject. He looks up to me, God knows why, and I can’t help responding to that, because I don’t think anyone else ever has.”

“Give me a break,” she said, her face warming. “Every kid in town looks up to you. I heard about your little assembly at school today. You’re the pied piper, for heaven’s sake.”

He turned away. “That’s different. That’s business. Jason looks up to me for different reasons.” He brought his gaze back to hers, and for a moment, she almost believed she saw sincerity there. “He seems to be hungry for a father figure.”

Those words enraged her, and she blinked back the tears that only came when she was livid. “He has me, and he has this town. There are men all around him who love him. His grandfather, our neighbors, our friends, coaches … that’s a whole lot more than a lot of little boys have.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Don’t feed me that, Brisco. You had a man in your life. A very dominant influence.”

He frowned. “And who would that be?”

“Montague Shelton,” she said, throwing up her chin. “I can just imagine what he taught you.”

For the first time since she’d met him, she saw fury in his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your friend, the grifter. I’m talking about his two convictions for fraud and counterfeiting, and the twenty-four warrants out for his arrest when he died.”

Compressing his lips, he said, “And what conclusion has that brought you to, Carny?”

“That I’ve been right all along,” she said. “That you’re nothing but a low-life swindler.”

“Let me tell you something about Montague Shelton,” Logan said, his eyes blazing as he stepped closer to her. “He was the only person in my entire life who cared what happened to me. He was a good man.”

“You think taking someone’s life savings is something good people do?” she asked. “You think he was better than most other crooks because he didn’t pull a gun on his victims?”

“People can recover from temporary financial setbacks.”

“Yeah,” she said with a bitter laugh. “If they’re willing to work two jobs and never retire and sell everything they own to buy food! You don’t get it, do you?”

“All right, so he was a con artist. So are your parents. You can’t assume that I’m one any more than I can assume you are.”

“Hey, I live here. I work here. I’m raising my son here. You’re the one who blew into town with nothing but a smile and an idea.”

“It’s a good idea, Carny, and you know it. And I may have had a questionable upbringing, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get the chance to settle down myself! I’m no different from you. You should just be glad that when you came to Serenity, no one here judged and accused you the way you’ve judged and accused me!”

The fervor in his words confused her. He had a point — she had departed from the ways of her family, even though dishonesty had been drilled into her all her life. It wasn’t so far fetched to think that he, too, could have chosen a cleaner path.

She let out a heavy sigh. “If I’m wrong about you, Brisco, I’m sorry.”

“Wow, that’s some apology.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not prepared to go any further than that.”

He studied her. “All right. That’s fair.”

They stood quietly for a long moment. Then he asked, “Does this mean you’re canceling my lesson for today? I was looking forward to getting into the cockpit.”

She shrugged. “Meet me at the hangar. You’ve already paid, after all.”

Carny left him standing, got into her pickup, and slammed the door. And as she pulled out of her driveway, she told herself that she was losing her mind. There was no reason on God’s green earth that she should trust him. Yet, somehow, she almost did.

The lesson in the plane was fraught with tension, making the cockpit seem even tinier than it was. Carny’s words were clipped and to the point. In previous lessons, she had tested Logan’s knowledge of the plane’s controls, navigational equipment, and check sheets, all of which they’d covered in ground school. Now, they took the plane up so that he could apply what she had taught him.

“Not bad,” Carny was forced to admit, watching him turn the plane and circle back over her hangar. “You have a good feel for this.”

“I told you I’m a quick study.”

She refrained from saying that all con artists were quick studies. He’d seemed genuinely hurt, earlier, by the fact that she kept accusing him, and by her derogatory comments about his friend. His pensive, quiet attitude confused her. There was real sincerity in his eyes. Authentic vulnerability.

“Tell me something,” she said into her headset. “When you and Jason were fishing, what did you talk about? The park?”

“No,” he said. “We talked about fishing, and I helped him with his addition, and we had an interesting talk about ‘least common denominators.’ “

She glanced at him, noting the slight grin. Jason must have repeated something she’d said. “You helped him with his math? Why didn’t he ask me?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “But I’m good at math, and I think I explained it so he can understand. He was going to take it home and work on it and bring it back for me to look at tomorrow. We planned to go fishing again.”

“No need — I’ll check his work,” she said.

She talked Logan through the approach and landing, and both of them were quiet until the plane was on the ground.


As the plane taxied to the tarmac, Logan spoke again. “Look, about this thing with Jason. I honestly wasn’t trying to go behind your back. It’s just that I’d never been fishing before, believe it or not, and the first time I went with him I enjoyed it so much that I couldn’t wait to do it again.”

Her head snapped toward him. “The first time? This wasn’t the first time?”

He sighed. “No. There was one other time. You thought he was with Nathan, but I went instead. Carny, mostly we sit and fish and don’t say anything. He cut me in on something fun that I hadn’t experienced before. He’s a great kid, and I like being around him. But obviously it upsets you. I won’t do it anymore.”

She cut off the engine, and for a moment they sat still, neither speaking. “You have to understand, Brisco. I want to protect my son. That’s why I never went back to the carnival. That’s why I kept him here in Serenity.”

“I don’t blame you,” he said, imagining what it must have been like for Jason to have a mother like her. “He’s the most precious possession God’s given you.”

Another long moment passed, and she whispered, “That sounds funny coming from you. I didn’t have you pegged for someone who believes in God.”

He stared out the cockpit window for a moment, wrestling with the question. “I used to. My mother used to say prayers with me, take me to Sunday school. But that was a long time ago. Then I lived with a family who went to church but lived like the devil. As you grow older, you start questioning the logic in believing.”

“Whether you believe or not doesn’t change God’s existence.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I think I really do believe, whether I consciously want to or not. I’m just not so sure God believes in me.”

“You might be surprised,” she said. “I was picking pockets when I was seven years old. Helping to fix games when I was ten. I used to feel like I had too much baggage to ever turn around. But then I found out that he’s even a shepherd over the black sheep.”

Logan smiled softly, and his eyes sought hers. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard it put quite like that. Still trying to convert me, Carny?”

“Heavens, no,” she said. “I’d never believe it if you did convert.”

“That’s right,” he said with a chuckle. “You’d figure it was a part of a con.”

Silence settled over them again. Finally, she sighed. “Look, Brisco. I guess it wouldn’t hurt for you to go fishing with Jason now and then. As hard as it is for me to admit, I guess he needs that.”

Logan stared at her, surprised and touched at the tiny step she’d taken toward accepting him. “Thank you, Carny,” he said. “I promise I won’t do anything to hurt him.”

She opened the cockpit door and got out, the stiffness of her posture indicating that the conversation was over. Only then did Logan realize how much the concession had cost her. But it had cost him as well.

As she walked back into the office, he stood still in the middle of the hangar. There wasn’t much that he liked about himself right now. He had almost succeeded in earning her trust, knowing all the while that he intended to betray it.