Lost in Distraction

Chapter Twenty-Two



After the night’s events, I’m in a very reflective mood. After our little heart to heart on the couch, Elle and I crawled into bed and we made love like we were the only two people in the world. I wanted to reassure her that I love her more than anything I know that the night’s revelations have rattled Elle, as well.

When the boss first approached me with details of this job I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be involved, but the boss made the job very worth my while so I was intrigued to say the least—especially since he was prepared to pay so much money for a security job. As it was explained to me he had, and still has, a lot of money involved in Brightlight Industries. Originally it was part of a poker debt arrangement made between my big boss and Elle’s father, Benjamin. A mutually beneficial agreement in order to legalize the boss’ money and increase Benjamin’s cash flow. It ended up being a long term investment, only ending when Benjamin and his family were viciously murdered.

Being in this line of work is definitely not the life I envisioned myself living. I joined the Army at seventeen to escape the life Michael Evans was trying to force me in to, a life of crime, corruption and violence. After five years’ service, I got an honorable discharge to look after my sick adoptive father in Atlanta. After Roger died, I was soon struggling to stay afloat with the mortgage and his business and all of the mounting debts. In order to save my childhood home, the only home I’d ever known, I approached a loan shark who put me in touch with the boss. He bought the business from me and paid off all of the debts I’d inherited, as well as the mortgage. That meant the house was free and clear under my name. What I didn’t realize at the time, was the true cost of his help.

So for the past three years, Shay and I have been working for him. Before this job, it has just been general muscle work along with security investigations and some bond collections, all done through the boss’ legitimate security business. Very rarely he would require us to break the law. I definitely can’t say that I’m a saint, but I’ve tried my best to avoid anything that would bring me close to Evans’ line of business.

When I was given the file by Gibbons and I saw Elle’s photo, I accepted the job immediately. I knew that there was something about her that was drawing me in, like I was meant to meet her. Along with Shay, it was agreed that we would move to where Elle was and I would pose as a bona fide college student studying Economics alongside her. The original plan was to get close to her, assess the risk, and determine whether she had any idea that there was a threat to her safety. Then, when the boss pulled the plug, we would leave.

When Elle became the majority stakeholder of her father’s company, Harry started making moves to increase his stake in the company. He was annoyed that Benjamin didn’t give him the first option to buy and was even more incensed when his will stated that Elle would be the CEO at the completion of her college studies. Harry had always planned on increasing his stake, but Benjamin’s death simply brought forward his takeover plans.

Now for the difficult part—for me anyway. If Elle was to become incapacitated or was to pass away before taking her place as CEO, Brimstone would automatically be given the option to purchase her entire stake in the company. When Elle declined Harry’s office to buy her out, this became his only option to make the company his own. My boss doesn’t want this to happen because of his close relationship with Elle’s father, as well as the fact that he still has a lot of his money tied up in the company. It may be well hidden, but there is still a paper trail that we can’t destroy yet. We do have someone on the inside at Brightlight who is working hard to find and destroy any evidence of the money’s existence, but Brimstone has been getting suspicious and using his power as acting CEO to dig a little deeper.

We’re still not sure how Brimstone connected with Evans, but given that he still has a lot of contacts within the FBI, it doesn’t surprise me that Harry is trying to keep him onside. We know that Evans and Brimstone have kept an even closer eye on Elle since I came on board, but even before that Brimstone was already making moves to ensure that his takeover bid would be accepted, whatever the cost. As soon as our boss got word of what Brimstone was up to, and heard that Evans was involved, he rushed us in.

What I didn’t count on was falling in love with Elle. At first it was her gorgeous, but lifeless green eyes staring back at me from the surveillance photo in her file. But when I met her, I knew my life would never be the same again. It was like every good deed I’d ever done in my life had brought me to her, but now I know it may end up being the ultimate selfless deed that could almost cost me everything.

I’ve been close to telling her the truth so many times. When she finally told me about her family and her father, whom she still idolizes to this day, I didn’t have it in me to shatter the only good memories she has of her past. She was crushed by their murders and it took a lot for her to open up to me and allow me to become a part of her life. I struggle every day with the face that I’m lying to her about who I work for, what I do, the truth about Brimstone and Evans, and the truth about her father.

I’ve been trying to appease both Gibbons and Shay. Shay has been telling me for weeks now that the three of us should just leave and take Elle away from all of this, go into hiding somewhere until this all dies down. It’s getting too dangerous for us to be here, but Shay knows that the only way I’ll leave is if she comes with me.

Now that it seems that Brimstone has connected the dots and has worked out who I am and who I’m working for, it is just a waiting game until he makes his next move. The threats he made during his last phone call with Elle all but confirmed that. It’s like a bomb with a faulty detonation switch—we can’t predict when it is going to go off.

We no longer feel we can trust Gibbons. He has been talking about pulling us out early. I don’t know why he is so desperate to pull us off the job. Shay and I have our suspicions, but without proof we can’t do anything, and that is all they are right now. Suspicions. We think he is compromised. This is from his actions in the past few months, starting with not tracking Shay the night he was taken to Boston and not giving us all of the information about the notes we’ve sent to HQ. All of this has made us wary of him.

At the end of the day, I don’t think there is any way I could leave Elle. We’ve come so far in the past few months, she has blossomed in front of my eyes into a vivacious, sexy-as-hell woman that I love more than life itself. If I was to tell her the truth now, that I’ve been living a lie for the past eight months, it would break us.

Being adopted at two years old and finding out at fifteen that I have a monster for a father—I’m used to lies, both telling them and living them. Having Elle in my life makes me want to be better, she makes me want to be better for her. A large part of me hopes that she loves me enough to see through my past and believe in the unequivocal love and devotion I now have for her.

It’s that hope I cling to while I hold her close to me as she sleeps peacefully in my arms. Tomorrow morning I’ll tell her the truth. I’m hoping with every ounce of my being that she will see past it and realize I am only protecting her.

I have to believe in her. In us.



I feel Brax pull me in closer against his naked body and I can’t help but sigh with contentment. He has made me so happy since he came into my life. He loves me, warts and all. Despite my horrific past and the details that still haunt me today, he still wants to be with me. He took away my nightmares, just like that. Three years of horrible memories replaying in my dreams every night have disappeared. He is truly my salve, my savior from a life of being completely alone.

I drift off to sleep in his arms, looking forward to the future. There is no way my life could get better than it is right now.

I hear Brax’s phone vibrate on the side table and feel him reach over to read the message, never letting me go. I fall asleep again before he has even put the phone back down, resolving to ask him about it in the morning.



I’m just about asleep when I hear my phone vibrate with a text message. I check the time, 1.16 a.m. This can’t be good. I open my messages and see the one message I don’t want to see

Shay: B, you’ve gotta get out of there. Brimstone has made the call to the boss, he’s saying you need to get out of there or else they’re going after her. Gibbons says now that they’ve made us, she’ll only be safe with you gone. I’ve already spotted one of Evan’s cars on the next block over. We’ve gotta move now so that they pull out.

Brax: I can’t disappear. I can’t leave her alone.

Shay: I know you love her, but she is going to be safer without us here. Gibbons assures me that he is sending another detail to take over from us asap, they’re on their way now. The boss man made the call to pull us out.

Brax: I can’t, Shay.

Shay: You have to, otherwise he’s going to come after her.

Brax: Give me until the morning.

Shay: No can do. It has to be now while she’s asleep, you know it’ll be easier for the both of you. No questions asked, no answers required. Come on, B. You know it’s bad when Evans is making moves. Something has gone bust and we can’t stop it now.

I lie in bed, simply staring at Shay’s last text. Shay knows that I wouldn’t leave Elle alone, except if I was the one putting her in danger.

Shit! Damn! F*ck!

Brax: I’ll be down as soon as I can.

I put the phone down and wrap both my arms around Elise. This was the worst case scenario, having to leave her alone. This will break her all over again. She took a big chance on us, on me, and now I’m deserting her. I’ll come back for her somehow. I don’t care how long it takes, Elle is my forever and nothing can take that away from me now. I carefully pull away from her as she rolls over and snuggles down around the blankets. She looks so beautiful when she sleeps, I sit up and just watch her for a few minutes, she looks so peaceful.

I quietly get dressed and grab whatever I can take with me—mainly my wallet, phone and keys. Getting up, I stand in the doorway, taking a last look at the love of my life, committing the sight of Elle peacefully sleeping to memory. I’m doing this for her, I wouldn’t be leaving if there was any other way. I’ll make my way back to her somehow, if only I could tell her the truth to ease the pain she’s going to wake up to tomorrow.

I make my way quietly out of the apartment and down the stairs to Shay who is waiting in his car outside the building. We’re doing this publicly so that whoever is watching the apartment will report it back to Evans. We want him to know we’ve left and to think Elle is alone now.

I pause outside the car. I know things will never be the same once I get in. I know once I leave I’ve more than likely lost her forever, but I’d rather sacrifice my happiness than compromise her safety.

Shay looks at me with sympathy as I finally get in the car.

“I’m not leaving her, B. I’m going to stay on here and keep her safe for you. I told Gibbons it was a done deal. He only agreed because the call was for you to leave, not both of us.”

I look at him in shock. “Shay, that is huge, man. I can’t thank you enough.” I’m tempted to hug my best friend for the first time in six years. He continues to explain.

“Look, man. It’s a no brainer. She is your girl and if you can’t stay and protect her, I’m the next best thing.”

He starts the car and takes off towards the airport where I know that I’ll be put on the boss’s plane back to Atlanta. The message will have already been sent to Evans and Brimstone to back off and they will be told that I’m not longer with Elle. At least my leaving will mean she will be a lot safer for the foreseeable future, especially now that Shay is staying behind to be my eyes and ears.

After about an hour and a half later, Shay drops me off at a private airport where the bosses plane is waiting for me. She’s all I can think about. Soon she’ll be waking up to an empty bed and no trace of where I have gone.

I had no choice. I knew the moment I made my decision that I was going to lose the other half of my soul, my whole reason for being, my Elle. Nothing I could ever do would make it right for her.

It took everything I had to heal her the first time, to mold her back into the brilliant, radiant light she always was. Being the one to shatter her this time will be the end of all hope for her. The end of the light, and the return of the dark in her world.

It’s a cruel twist that this happened the night before I was going to tell her everything. I was going to lay it all out for her. By leaving, she’ll remain in the dark. She will never know the truth about her father, his business partner, and their dealings with the big boss.

If she knew the truth, the real reason why I was gone—even the reason why I came into her life in the first place—my life would not be worth living.





2 days later



His blue eyes haunt me. Every day they haunt me. My morning, my day, my night. My nightmares that have returned, those ice cold baby blues of his torment me.

He was right when he said I would never be the same, that I could never forget him.

The way he could reach in and touch my soul with a single glance, an eyebrow quirk, a smirk with that delectable mouth. How the touch of his body to mine made my heart sing and my skin burn with a fire so hot it could light a match.

The pain of his disappearance worsens every day. I’ve rung his old roommates, checked with the College administration and come up with nothing. He isn’t even listed as a student any more.

On the second day I start thinking it is my fault. What did I do to make him run away? He left with nothing but his wallet and phone. All of his clothes are still in the wardrobe. I’ve taken to wearing his t-shirt to bed just to feel close to him again.

Today is the third day since he disappeared from my life and now anger has set in. It was totally unfair of him to approach me in that first Economics class. How dare he worm his way into my cold unforgiving heart and make it warm again. He was wrong to fix me and make me whole again, to make the sun rise and fall in my previously dark world. He’s made it ten times worse now that I know what I’ve lost.

He made me feel alive then cut me off at the knees by disappearing without a trace, without a single word or even a note.

I went from waking up next to him every morning and going to bed with him every night, living in our little love filled bubble, our cocoon, our sanctuary. I was deliriously happy, I had Brax, I had school, and I had my father’s company under my control. Then suddenly I was waking up alone, not sure where he was, why his phone was disconnected, why he had vanished into thin air.

What do you do when you had no hope, then hope was reborn in your heart, then the man who brings that hope back into your life all but disappears. Where do you go from there?