Honor Student

chapter Twenty-One

Sun poured through the giant bay windows. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and stretching. The smell of coffee wafted through the air. I climbed out of the bed, realizing my bottom was still incredibly sore as I slid off the mattress. I tugged at the t-shirt as I walked out of the bedroom. Mr. Honor stood by the island wearing nothing but his boxer briefs. He ran his hand through his hair when he saw me. I looked down at the ground as I tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Coffee smells good.” I said, trying to sound upbeat. He grabbed the pot and poured a mug for me, and topped his cup off. I watched him over the brim of my mug as he rubbed his eyes. “Didn’t sleep?” I asked and he looked at me for a long moment.

“I had a lot on my mind.” He replied and I struggled to keep my eyes from dancing over his muscular chest. I took another sip of my drink and sat it on the counter.

“I’m sorry about…everything last night”

“I hurt you and you apologize to me.” He laughed sardonically. “Emma, I am no good for you. I knew what I was doing the first moment I saw you. I should have stopped it. I shouldn’t have let it go this far.” His eyes burned into mine.

“I wanted you just as badly as you wanted me.” I replied quietly. He slammed his hands on the counter between us and leaned in closer to me. I jumped at the loud noise.

“I scare you. Good. Maybe now you will stay away from me.” He’s words cut through me like a knife. I could feel my eyes begin to water and I swallowed hard trying to keep them from falling.

“You don’t mean that.” I replied, stepping around the island.

“It’s for your own good, Emma.” He replied sadly. My stomach twisted into knots. I hated him with every fiber of my being. I wanted to run away from him and never look back, but I would have given anything for him to take me in his arms and hold me. I turned and made my way to the bathroom, crying silently to myself. I grabbed my clothes and pulled them on, not bothering to make sure I looked decent in the mirror.

When I came back into the main room Mr. Honor had finished dressing and was waiting by the door for me. I was thankful that I would not have to walk but I knew the car ride would be uncomfortable at best.

It was painful to sit on the seat and I had to angle my body to the side to bear the pain.

“Emma” William said quietly, noticing my discomfort.

“Don’t” I waved him off, trying desperately not to break down in front of him. The rest of the trip we rode in silence. I was angry with myself as I thought of all the things I had done the night before just to get a rise out of him. I pushed him even though I knew how upset I had made him.

We pulled up to the grocery store just down the street from my house. I opened my door, not waiting for him to put the car into park.

“Emma” William called after me but I did not turn around. I dug through my purse, trying to find my keys. I let go of the strap and it fell to the ground, spilling the contents everywhere.

“Shit, Emma” William said under his breath as he came over to me and began collecting my things. Hot tears stung my face and I held my breath trying not to sob aloud. “I’m just trying to protect you.” He said quietly as he ran the back off his fingers over my dampened cheek. He trailed his thumb over my lower lip, letting it linger for a moment before dropping his arm at his side.

“By hurting me,” I blurted out.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. You didn’t use the safe word.” His voice trailed off as he made a look of disgust.

“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about now.”

His eyes softened and I knew it was only a matter of seconds before he switched off his emotions again. It was something that was becoming all too familiar with.

“You deserve better.” With that, his look became hard and unreadable. I knew there was no reason to continue.

“What about the note. What if someone comes looking for me?” Trying to scare him into staying with me was not my best move, but I hoped it would at least make him realize that he cared for me.

“I will take care of that today.” I did not know what else to say. I had officially given up. I turned and got in my car, cranking the radio loudly. I pulled out and made my way out of the parking lot. William’s car sat unmoving in its spot. Maybe he did care about me. Maybe he was hurting as much as I was. I rolled my eyes at the thought and headed back to my house.