Every Little Piece

We said goodbye to the girls and headed to the beach for a game of football. The ocean was only a few towns over. This place contained so many memories. Of beach volleyball tournaments during summer. Of random football games after school.

With only three of us it was hard to run a true scrimmage, but somehow we managed. We got into the groove of throwing, running, ducking, and tackling. It felt good. The grit of the sand, the breeze. This place helped me forget. I kneeled to toss the ball to Carter. Jamie crouched opposite me.

“Hey,” he said. “Lover girl’s here.”

“What?” I turned, hoping to find Haley, and he ripped the ball from my hands and ran in for a score.

“Cheater!” But I couldn’t complain. Anything goes in our football games. It wasn’t Haley on the beach. It was Carly, and she was alone. She seemed so sad. No one should be alone the night before graduation. I wanted to completely ignore her, but through the next three plays, I stayed distracted.

Carter pulled me aside. “Hey, man. Carly’s been hot for you for years, but you’re not thinking about cheating on Haley, are you?”

“No way.”

I dug my toes into the sand. She stood down at the water, with her back to us, alone. I sighed.

Carter punched me. “You’re not giving in to her games.”

“It’s different this time. I’ll be right back. Don’t lose for us.” Despite my friend’s objections, I headed toward the waves and Carly.

The air was cooler closer to the water, and the waves crashed in and slid out. The ebb and flow mesmerized me, and I understood why she came here.

“What’s up?” I asked.

She didn’t say anything at first, ignoring me completely. After a few minutes I turned to leave. So much for being the nice guy.

“You know how my dad and your mom work together?”

“How could I forget?” I challenged her.

She winced. “I’m sorry I’ve tried to take advantage of that. I’ve had a crush on you since elementary school.” She blushed.

The back of my neck prickled with heat. What the hell was a guy supposed to say to a statement like that?

She stuttered a bit but then got into a groove. “I’m sorry but it’s the truth. I know you’re with Haley. I get that. If I flirt with you it’s not because I think I have a chance. I guess I just like to pretend.”

I was speechless.

“You see, the strange thing is, you can’t spend years thinking about someone without eventually truly caring about them.” Her admission seemed to hurt her pride and her cheeks turned even pinker.

Again, I’d no clue what to say.

“You don’t have to say anything.” She caught my gaze with a new confidence. “I know about your parents.”

I tensed but didn’t move. How the hell did she know when I just found out? “So?”

She pushed her hair away from her face and tears pooled in her eyes.

“Please, don’t shed a tear over me. I can take care of myself.”

“I’m not.” Her face turned hard, her jaw clenched. “I thought you might like to know the whole story. I probably know more about it than you.”

Seriously? “Wow, this is low. After spending years pining over someone you can’t have, you use his family problems to get close to him? Classy.” As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. I could tell she wasn’t working an angle, but I had no other way to respond. I didn’t want to think about my parents or their problems, and she’d caught me off guard.

The hurt was apparent in her eyes and she sagged a little bit. “Fine. I get it. But you don’t have to be a jerk. If you want to know more, I can tell you.”

“Fine. Whatever. I’m sorry.” I sat in the sand. “What do you know?”

“Is your girlfriend going to get mad at you for talking to me?” she asked, her hair hiding her face again as she sat next to me.

“Nah.” If Haley knew the whole story, she’d understand. I pressed down the guilt for not letting her know what was going on but I still stuck with my decision. Tonight wasn’t the night to burden anyone with problems.

We sat in silence but it wasn’t awkward. If we were at school or at a party it would be. I’d already have drifted off toward Haley. I wasn’t sure if Carly was waiting for me to start this or not.

“Remember the eighth grade celebration here?” Carly asked.

Memories returned of all the moms, including mine, hovering over the snack table. Of course it hadn’t been down on the beach because the seagulls would attack. Carly’s dad and a few others organized the games except it had been so hot that year we ended up in and out of the ocean even though the water was freezing.

“So much changes from middle school to high school,” she said wistfully.

I kicked at the sand. “Yeah, it does.”

“That’s when our parents first met.”

“Um, yeah. I guess so.” I couldn’t see where she was going with this.

She huffed. “You don’t know anything, do you?”

I shoved my hands into my pockets. “What do you mean?”

She let out a puff of air. “My mom’s leaving. She told me last week.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. Her eyes were glazed over and a tiny bit red.

The air left my chest, like I got sucker punched by an invisible fist. Jeez. Why couldn’t parents wait until after graduation? Hospitals should give out a list of major don’ts to new parents, and high on the list should be don’t ruin your child’s happy events with your own shitty news.

“I get it.” I didn’t know why that small admission felt so good. Maybe I did need to talk about everything, to someone who understood. “My dad talked to me tonight.” I wanted to spill the rest but saying the truth would make it real.

“What’d he say?” Her voice was gentle and soft, so unlike the usual Carly.

I held my breath and closed my eyes, then let it out and opened my eyes. “He’s leaving.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Her voice broke. “I’m truly sorry.”

I shrugged. “Nothing you could do about it.”

She waited as if I was supposed to say something. “Do you know all that’s going on?”

I felt like a dumb-ass. “Not really.”

“Are you blind?” Her words crackled with anger. “Your mom and my dad?”

I must be blind because I didn’t see. I didn’t see at all. Waves crashed against the shore. It was no longer calming.

“They’ve been having a thing now for a couple years. I found out working in the office last summer.”

My fingers curled into a fist, and my heart raced. I needed to punch something. She made a blind accusation, and called my mom a slut. After all the seduction games she’d played with me the past few years. The flirting. The sly smiles. The suggestive comments. I glared at her, the fury building at her accusations. “So you learned your slutty ways from your dad and not your mom?”

She backed away, her eyes filled with hurt.

But I didn’t stop. The word vomit kept coming, and I had no control. “Wow. You’re a real bitch. You can’t have me so you pull this card out of desperation? Pathetic. I’m with Haley.”

She gasped. “That’s not fair.”

“What did you want? My sympathy? A shoulder to cry on?” I stood, towering over her.

She stood and got right in my face. “No! I thought you might want to know. I thought you deserved the truth.”

“Why should I believe you?” I spit out. “This could just be one of your games.” Inwardly I cringed at every hurtful word.

She tensed, her arms stiff at her sides. “I wouldn’t play games with this kind of thing. I can’t believe you don’t know. Let me clue you in. Late work nights at the office? Weekend business trips?”

She didn’t need to connect the dots. Her words rang true, but why would I have thought my mom was cheating? Lots of parents work late and go on business trips.

“You’re a big fake. And right now, I feel bad for Haley. Being with a boyfriend who’s lying to himself and can’t face the truth like a big boy. You probably haven’t even told her, have you?”

I exploded in anger. “I just found out tonight!” The words kept spilling out, aimed at Carly because she was close and the one digging into the wound. “And if my mom’s cheating, I blame your dad. Completely and one hundred percent. He brings new meaning to the word man-whore.”

She bit her lips, tears caught in her eyelashes. “That’s just mean. If I ever thought I was in love with you then obviously I had you confused with someone else.” She poked her fingers into my chest. “I guess this brings out your true colors.”

She stormed back to the parking lot before I could do any more damage. I didn’t follow her, and the anger whooshed through me, leaving my body trembling.

Jamie and Carter ran up to me. “What was that all about, man?” Carter asked.

“Nothing.” I added a slight edge to my tone of voice, and flashed him a dark look and he knew not to press it. But I had the sudden desire to see Haley, to prove Carly wrong, that I was the good guy. And then the words I yelled at Carly came back. I was horrified at what I said. I pushed that away. “I’ve got a great idea.”

“What’s that?” Jamie asked.

“Let’s just say that Haley has shared some of their get-ready rituals with me and I know exactly how to sabotage them.”

They nodded at my evil plan. As they ran up the beach ahead of me, I allowed the guilt about what I said to Carly weigh me down, then I pushed it back and jogged after them.

Tonight was about celebration and I wouldn’t let anything ruin that.





The hot tub was heated and bubbling, waiting for us. We slipped into the burning water inches at a time, with sighs of relief.

Brin relaxed with her arms lying across the sides of the tub and her legs floating to the middle. “Just what I need.”

The jets shot water into the muscles along my spine and lower back. Steam coated my face. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Another moment of perfection. I wanted to freeze it. I wanted to never forget and never lose what I had here, right now.

That was when I heard it. The whispering. The arm punches. The cursing. I glanced to the side of the house but they didn’t show themselves. Crap. Me and my big mouth gave us away. I’d slipped about this routine to Seth more than once. I couldn’t alert Kama and Brin without getting myself in trouble.

The screen door slid open, and Kama’s mom walked through, her curly blonde hair bouncing as she walked, the spitting image of Kama. She carried a tray with fluted glasses filled with what looked like sparkling apple cider, and a spread of thinly sliced Subway sandwiches.

Kama squealed. “Mom!”

We gushed our thanks. I plastered on a smile and tried not to look over at the hedge where the guys must be hiding.

Her mom smiled. “You only graduate once. And you only have the night before graduation once.” She placed the tray on the small landing that surrounded the tub. “Enjoy this moment, girls.”

I studied her and the brief wistfulness in her eyes and face. She kissed Kama’s head and then headed back inside.

“Your mom rocks.” Brin helped herself to the sparkling apple cider and an Italian sub slice.

“Yeah, I know,” Kama agreed. “Most of the time.”

“Excuse me.” I flicked water at Kama. “What’s that supposed to mean, ‘most of the time’?”

“Well, they’ve been giving me a hard time about the fall.”

I put a plate together, going for the chicken Parmesan. I never realized there were obstacles on Kama’s road to New York. I forgot about the covert operation only a few feet away. “How come we haven’t heard about this before?”

Kama shrugged but the fear flickered in her eyes. The bright shining hope that always twinkled briefly faded. “My mom is more than aware of life in New York for the starving actress trying to make her way. She knows what the drama life is like, or she can guess.” Kama paused and bit into her sandwich but she struggled to swallow it down. Tears glistened. “They sat me down the other day and laid it out for me. I have to prove I can find a place to stay, somewhere safe with adults or a family, and I have to share my finances with them biweekly.”

“That’s not too bad,” I said.

“I don’t know anyone in New York.” She sounded desperate.

“Since when have you ever let that stop you?” I played devil’s advocate. “At least they’re not saying you can’t go.”

Kama let that thought sink in.

Brin sipped her glass. Our eyes connected. I knew what she was thinking before the words left her mouth.

“At least your parents care.” Her voice broke. “At least your dad is around.”

Kama placed her plate on the side of the tub and immediately moved through the water and hugged Brin. “I’m so sorry. That was insensitive of me. You’re so right. We can’t reach our dreams without fighting for them.”

I slid over to the group hug. “We’ll make it. Together.” I promised.

Finally, Brin pushed us away. That was the longest she’d let either of us hug her. We returned to our spots a little more sober and teary-eyed. At that point, I didn’t know whether to tell Kama and Brin or not about our company.

Kama didn’t stop there. She pushed Brin. “What’re you going to do in the fall?”

“That’s easy.” Brin drained her glass and grabbed another sub slice. “I’m running as far away from here as possible. Maybe I’ll go to the west coast. I’ll find a great job and work for a year or two while I figure out what I want to do with my life. Then I’ll work my way through college.”

Brin spoke with a fierceness grounded in heartbreak. She’d do exactly what she said. But I thought how far away, how many miles it was to the west coast. My heart squeezed. “Do you have to run so far away?”

She scoffed. “What? Am I supposed to move to the next town? If I’m going to do this, I’m going all out.”

Kama squealed. “Come to New York with me! That’s the place to start. We could be roomies.” She reached for both our hands. “Haley, you could come too.”

“She’d never go that far away from Sethie boy.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” I smiled weakly. But I did know I’d be attending a college within thirty minutes of his. “There’s not much in New York City for me either. Other than watching you hit the big stage.”

We fell silent. In a few short months, our lives would change forever. It had already hit me, but Brin and Kama were now briefly seeing the future.

“We’ll have to enjoy this summer. Together. Hang out as much as we can,” I said.

Kama splashed her hand against the water. “That’s right. We’ll make so many memories, that Haley will have to plaster her ceiling with all the photos and memorabilia.”

We heard a splat.

Something hit the wall of the house barely missing us. Another one hit the tub, splashing water up into my face. And a third splattered the post of the back porch.

Water balloons.

We screamed and ducked into the water. “We know you’re out there. Cowards!” I yelled.

“Dare to show yourselves!” Brin called out.

We grabbed our fluted glasses and filled them with water but realized how pitiful our ammunition was. “We have to get out of the tub,” I whispered.

“Then what?” Brin asked, her feet landing on the slippery tiles.

I grinned. “We run straight at them and grab some ammo.”

Once we were all out of the tub, we sprinted, screaming and waving our arms. They highly underestimated their opponents.

Balloons flew through the air. One hit my arm, and another splattered against my stomach. I pushed through, shoving my way past the boys, squealing. I dug into their arsenal. Armed with a handful of water balloons, I tossed some to Brin and Kama. Then we attacked.

They flipped around, and we pelted them with balloons. Then there was an all-out fight in the backyard for the ammo. It didn’t take long for the balloons to be gone. By the end we were all soaking wet and tiny colorful pieces of balloon decorated the yard. My stomach ached from laughing and my throat from screaming.

Kama clapped her hands. “You might as well join us.”

Seth grinned. “We thought you’d never ask.”

Kama elbowed me. “So, you never tell Seth about our private affairs, huh?”

My cheeks flushed with heat. “Not about any of the super important stuff. I might’ve let the hot tub part slip.” I plastered on a cheesy grin. “Sorry.”

“Forgiven.”

The guys changed and soon we were all in the hot tub, crammed together. Kama turned the jets on high and the top of the hot tub looked like a frothy milkshake. Bubbles popped. The conversation flowed like beer at the party that was starting pretty soon. The tense fear of the future had dissolved and we were all feeling the buzz of life.

Carter raised his arms and cleared his throat to get our attention. “We’ll be honest. We decided we’d have to keep a close eye on all of you in case you decided to get out of our little wager.”

Jamie waggled his finger. “Tonight at midnight, girls. A run down Main Street.”

Brin grimaced. “I’ve been thinking about that. It seems like a pretty stupid thing to do. Even after losing a bet.”

“How about this,” Seth said, “we’ll supply the hot chocolate afterwards, because you might be a little chilly.” He rubbed his arms and fake-shivered, then he burst out laughing, soon followed by Carter and Jamie.

Brin pressed her lips together and the doubts flickered across her face. I nodded to Kama, and we poked her leg under the water with our toes.

Finally, she succumbed. “Fine. But if anything goes wrong, like if we get arrested, I blame you!”

Seth nodded. “Agreed.”

I stood up, the water dripping off me. “Well, then, I hate to break this party up, but we have to pack for a sleepover and make sure to cover our butts with who is sleeping at whose house.”

We all climbed out, and Kama shut off the jets, the bubbles slowly disappearing. I wrapped in a warm towel and headed over to Seth. I bumped his hip with mine. “Hey,” I said.

He grabbed my fingers and held them loosely in his. “You ready for tonight?”

“Sure.” I noticed that even though he was looking at me, he didn’t really see me. Not the way he was usually tuned in. “Are you?”

“What?” Then he coughed. “Um, yeah, ready.”

After years together, instinct told me something was wrong. I rubbed the light scruff on his cheeks and kissed him. I giggled. “You need to shave.”

My touch seemed to pull him out of whatever funk he was in and he grabbed hold of me. “Really? I need to shave? Are you sure?” He rubbed his cheek against mine.

I held back a giggling fit and squirmed away but he clamped down on my waist and tucked me into his arms.

“Haley!” the girls yelled.

“Seth!” the guys yelled.

Just to spite them, I reached up and pulled Seth toward me. We engaged in a long, slow kiss. The heat spread throughout my body and sizzled in my stomach. I clung to him, to this moment. My hands slid up and my towel dropped. This time, I lightly traced his cheek. “I like your scruff.”

He pulled away and for one intense moment his blue eyes pierced mine. No word was spoken, but he felt it too. He had to. I didn’t break our gaze, and he reached out and pulled his thumb across my lips. Then he leaned forward and kissed my cheek.

Moments like those made me fantasize about spending the night with Seth. Him and me. Naked. What it would feel like to be next to him, skin on skin, touching, kissing. But then that made me think about our future and commitment. Ugh. I wondered if Seth had talked about the fall and his plans with Carter. Did he fear the changes coming after tomorrow? Hopefully, I’d find a chance to talk to him tonight. Poke around in his head to see if he saw me in his future. I wasn’t necessarily thinking forever, but at least into next year.

He kissed my cheek and then led me around the corner of the house and into the small storage shed.





As soon as the door shut behind us, I pulled her to me. I’d been alone with her a million times, but tonight, an electric current ran through the air. Or maybe it was just through us as I nudged her toward a giant inner tube, my mouth hungry against hers.

She struggled a bit. “What about everyone else?”

“They’re big kids. They can deal.” I sucked on her bottom lip and then dropped to kiss the soft skin on her neck. Her grip on my arms tightened. I had this down to a science. I knew when to be gentle, when to be driven. I knew the sensitive spots on her neck that drove her crazy, and I knew when she just wanted to be held. We lowered ourselves onto the tube, my weight crushing her. I pulled back but she grabbed my arms and kept me in place. She kissed me and then rolled over so she was on top.

“Oh, baby, I love it when you take charge,” I murmured the words against her skin.

Shivers rippled across arms and through my body. Her damp hair fell down around me and her exposed breasts skimmed my chest. She played the tease, hovering just above me but not touching or kissing.

I groaned. Not that I didn’t ask for this.

“I love it when you’re at my mercy,” she said, lowering and skimming her lips across mine.

Her touch, her feel, everything about her was pure sweetness. I wanted to lose myself in her for a few minutes and forget my pathetic life.

“Hey!” Jamie was at the door, knocking.

Haley jumped away, but I dragged her close again. “Door’s locked,” I whispered, then called, “We’ll be right there!”

“Yeah, right. Don’t take too long!” Jamie said, stifling laughter.

This time, I stopped kissing her like a man about to be stuck on a desert island with nothing but a volleyball, and held her close. Her heart beat through her shirt and matched mine. Closeness settled between us, and I couldn’t imagine ever not being here, next to her.

“You know, Haley,” I said, playing with her hair. I tugged on several strands, teasing, and then dropped my hand to her back. My fingers trailed slowly up and down. There was so much I wanted to say, to tell her what was going on, but the words wouldn’t come. Not tonight.

“What?” she asked, pulling back a little as if she was scared of what I’d say.

I decided that if we didn’t get moving, she was going to see right through me and ask questions until I was forced to tell her the truth. I rolled off. “Let’s go before they drag our butts out of here.”





I probably should’ve told her everything, but spilling the ugly family drama didn’t seem like something to slip in between goodbye kisses. Would there ever be a right time for it? Maybe not. But the night before graduation was definitely not it.

“Hey, are we going to drive around town forever?” Carter asked and fiddled with the radio.

“Name a place ’cause I’m out of ideas.” I steered toward Main Street. My fingers drummed against the wheel as Carly’s words repeated in my head.

I let the guys fight it out. They tossed around some ideas and then settled on pizza before the party.

Jamie punched my shoulder. “Here it is, man.”

I pulled in and slammed on the brakes. We jerked forward.

“What’s your prob?” Jamie hit my shoulder again.

I gripped the wheel and stared ahead. “Nothing. Forget it. Let’s go eat.”

They followed me into the local pizzeria and their hushed whispers were about me. Carter was telling Jamie to stop bugging me and Jamie was complaining that he never knew what was going on. Well, Carter didn’t know what was going on either. He probably assumed I was having cold feet when it came to Haley now that we were graduating. Or maybe that I was rethinking college in the fall. Or that I was just plain horny because I’d never gotten laid. That could be a real possibility. I’d never know.

The smells of the spices brought a rush of nostalgia. I’d been here so many times. We’d stop after late-night soccer games in middle school. I’d run out for late dinners when my parents hadn’t made it home. And Haley and I’d sat in that corner booth every couple weeks for years. We’d order the Mediterranean pizza and two sodas. We’d hang for hours because we could, just talking, laughing. Our conversations didn’t always run deep, but that was what I loved about Haley. She didn’t always probe me for my feelings. She let me be me and us be us. Not that we didn’t have deeper conversations, because we did.

“I’ll grab a booth. You two can order.” I found one opposite where Haley and I usually sat. I tapped the table with my fingers, restless. I didn’t like sitting. I wanted to be active and not stay in one place. Going to the party early was a good idea.

While waiting for our pizza I barely joined in the conversation. My mind focused on anything and everything else, but Carly’s words kept sneaking in between thoughts. I banged my fist on the table to stop them.

The couples and families at the nearby tables quieted and stared, the dads probably hoping their daughters never dated someone like me.

Carter nudged Jamie to go get the pizza. He tried to complain but Carter gave him the look of death, so he went.

“Dude, you’ve got to chill out.”

“Chill out?” My voice rose. “How am I supposed to do that?”

“Go jerk off in the bathroom. I don’t know. Something. Go run a few miles.” His hair flopped to the side and he pushed it back with a jerky motion. “Or tell me what the hell is wrong so you can stop acting like a bitch.”

The muscles in my arm flexed and I glared at him. Carter noticed and dropped the confrontational attitude.

“Obviously something big went down tonight with your family because you haven’t been the same since we left your house. You don’t have to tell me and I’m not going to push you, but it might make you have a better night especially before we go to the party.”

Jamie was heading over with the pizza, and I waited until the last minute. “My dad’s leaving us tonight. Probably for good.” I left it at that. I couldn’t bear to share that it was because my mom was sleeping with Carly’s dad.

Carter nodded and a look of understanding passed across his face.

Jamie dropped the pizza platter. “I knew it. I knew I’d miss the good stuff.”

“Stop it, whiner,” I said, joking. “You didn’t miss anything.”

I needed to put on a really good front, because I couldn’t handle comments the rest of the night, or girls flocking to me at the party to ask me what was wrong. Girls seem to have this special radar and sensed when I was upset. They chatted more, touched more, and tended to linger longer than Haley or I’d like. I especially didn’t want Haley picking up on it, because I was sticking with my decision to let it go for tonight.

I smiled even though it felt like a crack spreading across cement. “Just saying that tonight might be the night with Haley and I.”

Sex was about the only thing that would get Jamie off my case. Carter laughed and Jamie rubbed his hands together as if he couldn’t wait for the juicy details.

“Don’t get any ideas.” I grabbed a slice. “Details stay between Haley and me.”

In about five minutes we’d gone through the two pizzas. I slurped the last of my soda and leaned back. Jamie belched.

“It’s 8:30. Time to party.” I plastered on a smile and we headed out the door for the best night of our lives.

Others must’ve had the same idea as us because cars filled the driveway and lined the road. The music poured from the window, its beat vibrating through the air. I was ready to put on my party face and lose myself in the crowds.

I busted open the door and the crowds welcomed me. I swaggered into the middle of my classmates, shaking my hips. A guy from my soccer team handed me a red plastic cup.

“Thanks, dude,” I said.

I guzzled the whole damn thing. I wiped the last from my mouth and crunched the cup in my hand. Everyone around me let out a whoop. I drank another. Friends pounded me on the back and cheered me on. This continued as I moved throughout the party. I played some drinking game at the kitchen table until my heart numbed over.

This time, Haley wouldn’t be able to see through me.