Desire (Desire, Book 1)

Chapter Eighteen





To say I was glad for the night off work would be an understatement. After helping both Neri and Sam with their homework, I threw myself on the couch ready to indulge in an evening with the TV.

Ara was sitting across from me, texting away on her phone. Luke was back in the states next week, and Ara had been counting the moments until she got to see him again. I don’t know how she did it. Being in love with someone who was not only thousands of miles away, but risking his life everyday wasn’t something I could handle.

“Luke?” I asked. Ara nodded, a cheeky smile on her face, “How long is he back for?”

“Six weeks I think, then he is off again for another six months.” She replied sadly. I whistled, shaking my head. She was amazing, being able to cope with him being away like that for so long.

“How do you do it?” I asked.

“Through a lot of phone calls, emails, and Skype.” She laughed, “And of course, nonstop sex when he is home.” She added, her cheeky smile widening. I laughed, knowing that was no exaggeration either.

“So, how’s Devon?” I made a face. “That good, huh?”

I shrugged, “It’s nothing. There is nothing going on at all. Apparently it was just a one-time thing that shouldn’t have happened.”

“And I’m guessing those were his thoughts and not yours?” I nodded. Was it that obvious? “Did he actually say that, Kait?”

“He may as well have.” I shrugged. I replayed our encounter again. “That to me screams not interested.” I doodled circles on my jeans with my finger, “He came over today. With his partner. Work partner.” I added, seeing Ara’s eyes widen.

“Male or Female?”

“Female. Twenties. Pretty.” I added. Ara screwed up her nose like she’d just smelt off milk. “They found blood in mom’s car.”

“Oh shit, Kait.” Ara cried, jumping to her feet and enveloping me in a giant hug. “How are you?” I was silent for a moment.

“When I saw them, mom was the last thing on my mind. All I could think about was how much I wanted him.” I whispered. I felt tears prickle my eyes. I stabbed at my eyes, refusing to let myself cry. “My mother’s missing, and I care more about how some boy treated me?”

“No, Kait, you’re not doing this. You are not going to feel bad for not knowing how to feel about your mom. Just because you don’t know how to show it doesn’t mean you don’t care.” She added, her hand resting gently on my shoulder. Her brown eyes were filled with worry.

“I don’t know whether to tell Neri and Sam.”

“Sam, not so much, but Neri I think you should tell. If she finds out you knew and didn’t tell her…”

Ara had a point. Neri was mature for her fifteen years, and she would be hurt if she thought I didn’t think she could handle this.

“Why don’t you call Devon?” Ara asked suddenly.

“Why?” I looked at her as if she’d grown a second head. Why on earth would I call him? That had to be the worst idea ever, and that was coming from the girl working in a brothel.

“I don’t know. Ask him what he thinks about telling the kids. As in, how serious he thinks this information is.”

“It’s blood, Ara. I’d say it’s pretty damn serious.” I grumbled. Ara held her hands up in defense.

“Just an idea, Kait.” She gathered up her phone and laptop, “I have some studying to do for an exam. If you decide to go out anywhere, I’ll be home.” She wiggled her eyebrows, making me laugh.

Where the hell did she think I was going to go? Did she think I was going to hunt him down?



I fiddled with my phone, wondering if Ara was right. If I called him, then that would tell me if there was any interest there. Even today, the way he looked at me sent my insides crazy. Finally, I gave in and texted him.

Do you think I should tell the kids about today?

I decided on a message because it was less confronting. I didn’t want to call him, and embarrass myself any more than I already had.

Want to grab a coffee with me?

Hell yes I did.

I responded with a simple yes. I didn’t want to seem too keen.



Devon leaned on the porch, his arms crossed across his chest. He wore jeans that were fraying at the end, and a charcoal grey jacket over a black shirt. I could’ve quite happily spent the next few hours just staring at him, but that would’ve been creepy.

“Kait?” The sound of his voice brought me out of my daydream. I blushed. Why did he have this effect on me? “You ready?” He asked. I nodded and followed him to the car.

“Where are we going?” I wondered curiously.

He pulled the car out of reverse and headed off down the street. I watch as the identical houses passed, each with the same manicured gardens, the same oversized garages, and the same picket fences.

“You wanted coffee.” It was a statement, not a question, so I didn’t answer. It still didn’t really tell me where we were going, but I left it at that.



After fifteen minutes, we pulled up outside of an apartment block on the outskirts of the city. I looked around in surprise. No coffee houses. No diners. I looked at him questionably. A smile spread across his face.

“You didn’t say where you wanted coffee.” He shrugged, “I happen to have a state of the art espresso machine.” He added, winking. I blushed, hoping he didn’t think coffee was a euphemism for something else.

“Convenient.” I muttered, climbing out of the car. I was not going to sleep with him. Not going to happen.

No way.

My resolve faltered slightly when I caught a glimpse of Devon’s soft dark hair. I wondered what it smelt like. I could just imagine the scent of shampoo mixed with his natural smell…

Stop! Jesus Kaitlin, get a grip!

This was such a bad idea. No matter how many times I told myself I wasn’t going to sleep with him, it was like dangling a chocolate bar in front of a child. There was only so much I could resist.