Desire (Desire, Book 1)

Chapter Seventeen





Standing outside my Lit class I was shitting myself.

I couldn’t bring myself to walk in, though I only had minutes before the class began. The longer I waited, the worse it would be. I knew that. If I waited until everyone else had filtered in, then I might as well do cartwheels on the way in.

Where the hell was Ara?

I had no way of knowing if she was inside already or not. Her phone was off, and I couldn’t exactly take a peek inside. Taking a deep breath, I slipped through the door with the next crowd of people.

I purposely chose a seat toward the back of the class. I saw Ara walk in, and scan the crown for me. Her eyes lit up when she spotted me. Charlie sat at the front, shuffling through some note. He looked up, his eyes meeting with mine for the briefest moment. Then he turned away. I saw the slightest smile playing on his lips.

Was he thinking about last night? Of course he was thinking about last night. I felt sick.

“Up the back? You never sit up the back.” She said, confused. I flushed as she glanced at Charlie, realization hitting her face. “Oh.”

“You could have arrived with more than five minutes to spare.” I grumbled, annoyed at her, even though I had no reason to be.

“Excuse me?” Ara raised her eyebrows, “Just because you’re doing the teacher, doesn’t give you the right to take your embarrassment out on me.” I glanced around me, alarmed. Thankfully everyone seemed to be involved in their own little conversations and hadn’t noticed ours.

“Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

“Good.” Ara replied, her chin raised. I forced myself to focus on the lecture slides. Every time Charlie looked in my direction, I felt Ara’s smirk on me.

“Will you quit looking at me?” I nudged her playfully, as she rolled her eyes at me.

“It’s so much fun watching you squirm every time he looks your way.”



Class was painfully long, every second dragging by. I was ready to make my escape as soon as it ended. Ducking behind a group of people, I followed them out of the theatre.

“Ms Delancy, can I have a moment of your time, please?” I winced. Just as I thought I’d made it, he’d caught me out.

“Hello again. Fancy seeing you here.” He quipped.

“Hi.” I sat on the edge of his desk, trying my best to look sexy, knowing it was well within my interests to keep him interested.

It was working. I could see the bulge in his pants growing.

“Are you working tonight?” He asked casually, shuffling papers on his desk.

I shook my head, “Not tonight. But I will be tomorrow.”

He nodded slowly, now packing up his briefcase. Snapping it shut, he leaned his hands on his desk and leaned in to me. Millimeters away from my face, he looked me right in the eye. My heart began to pound at his proximity.

“Too bad. I was hoping to see you again tonight. I guess I’ll have to wait.” If he was trying to let me know he didn’t like waiting, I understood. “There may be consequences for making me wait, Ms Delancy.” His voice was low and husky, yet it ran through my veins like ice.

What did he mean, consequences?

Something told me I was going to find out. I wanted to point out he couldn’t exactly punish me for having a night off, but something told me he didn’t exactly listen to reason.

“See you tomorrow, professor.” I let a small smile play on my lips as I backed out of the theatre.

My heart was racing as I walked quickly out to the parking lot.



Flirting with Charlie had all been to ensure he would be back, and while I was positive I’d be seeing him tomorrow, I wasn’t exactly jumping for joy at the prospect. The more time I spent with him, the more he got under my skin. The worst thing was not being able to clearly categorize exactly how he made me feel.

Pulling out my phone, I switched it back on. It beeped. I had a message. I put it on hands free and played the message.

“Hi Kait, its Devon. Can you give me a call when you get this please? Thanks.”

My heart began to pound again. Devon.

I’d managed to go two hours without thinking about him, and here he was again. I couldn’t work out my feelings for this guy.

Wait, that wasn’t true.

I knew exactly what my feelings for this guy were, what I couldn’t work out were his feelings for me. No matter how much I convinced myself that I wasn’t interested in him, every passing moment I found myself doubting that.

Why did I care so much if I wasn’t interested?

I was afraid to answer that question. I threw the phone in the foot well. Why the hell should I call him back? F*ck him.

If it was about mom, he’d find a way to talk to me. I was sick of playing his games.

At home, I had a quick shower and changed into my tracksuit pants and singlet. It had been ages since I had been for a run.

Another thing that didn’t come naturally to me was metabolism. The amount of crap I’d eaten in the last week I should have been exercising every day. Unfortunately, exercise and I weren’t close friends, and sometimes, we didn’t see eye to eye.

I was pulling on my runners, when the doorbell rang.



“You didn’t respond to my messages.”

I stared at Devon through the open door. He was dressed in his usual suit, and as per usual, he looked hot. Standing next to him was a woman, who looked in her twenties.

“Devon. Hi.” I sighed, and moved aside, letting him squeeze past me. His hand brushed over my thigh as he walked in. I stifled a gasp at the feel of his touch. His eyes smiled at me, as if he knew the effect he had on me.

“Sorry, I just got home. I was going to call you back.” I added, not completely sure that was true. He raised his eyebrows. He didn’t believe me either.

The woman raised her eyebrows at me, as she looked from Devon to myself obviously wondering what was going on. I blushed. I’d forgotten she was there.

Could I have made it any more obvious to her that something was going on between Devon and I? What I didn’t get was why he didn’t seem to mind her thinking something was up.

“I’m Detective Lacey Sanders.” I shook her hand, waving her inside, “Devon’s partner.”

“Kait.” I replied.

“We have some news. About your mother.” I suddenly felt really guilty and a little embarrassed. I had been so caught up in seeing him again, my mother was the last thing on my mind.

Of course he had news. Would he really drop by with his partner if it wasn’t official? What did I think, she was going to watch TV while we had sex in the kitchen?

Get a grip, Kaitlin.

“Oh,” I bit my lip, “Do you want a drink?” Devon nodded, even though I’d directed the question at Lacey, and followed me into the kitchen.

“So?” I handed him one of the two cans of soda I had in my hand, and the other to Lacey. She thanked me and set the can aside.

He took the drink, taking a long gulp before wiping his mouth. He was avoiding my eyes. Anxiety rolled around the pit of my stomach, as I waited for him to speak. It must be bad if he wouldn’t look at me.

“Forensics found traces of blood in your mother’s car.” He began. “That doesn’t mean anything, it could have been from a nose bleed two months ago for all we know.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“How much?” I asked. “Blood?” I added.

“Not much. Only a few traces.” I nodded.

A few drops or a few buckets, to me blood was blood. Blood was never a good sign.

“Thanks for telling me. You could have called.” I added. I was glad he was here, but things would have been much easier if he’d just called.

“It’s protocol. Any information, big or small, we deliver in person.” Well that made me feel good.

“Right, well I have things to get done before I pick up the kids.” I stood up and led them to the door.

“Nice to see you again, Devon. Lacey, it was nice to meet you.” I smiled warmly. Lacey smiled back, Devon followed her out. He raised his eyebrows, his gaze falling down to the cleavage spilling out of my singlet.

I smiled again, the same fake smile I’d used for Lacey.



Seeing Devon again had messed with my head, as had the news about mom. I didn’t know how I felt about that. I’d spent so long getting over my childhood, and part of me didn’t want to forgive mom for not believing me.

I struggled to feel over mom’s disappearance. I felt for the kids, but for me I felt nothing. I was almost more shaken up about seeing Devon than I was about the news on mom. I felt the guilt creep into my mind again. I was a really bad person.

Now I was stuck with the dilemma of whether to tell Neri and Sam or not.

Grabbing my keys, I left the house and headed for the park.



The sky was overcast when I reached the track, with the grey clouds threatening to pour down rain at any moment. Stuff it, I decided. I was willing to risk a little rain in exchange for being able to clear my head. I had been running at the park since moving to Seattle. It was very picturesque, with lots of trees and a lake. Weekends it was overrun with families having picnics, but during the week, no matter what time I came I usually had it to myself.

I managed a good fifteen minutes before the clouds opened up on me.

Within seconds, I was drenched. Running for the shelter of a nearby covered picnic table, I waited for the worst to pass. I was beginning to regret not driving down, even though the park was only a ten minute walk. I’d managed not to think about Devon for the last half hour, but he had wormed his way back into my brain again, like some kind of flesh eating virus.

As if on cue, my phone vibrated, his name flashing up on the screen.

“For god’s sake.” I muttered, pressing answer, “What?” I snapped.

“Nice to speak to you too.” Devon said, amused.

“What do you want, Devon?” I sighed, annoyed. The rain had started to ease off, so I slid myself off the table, walking in the direction of home.

“I want to see you. Is that rain?” He sounded confused.

“Yeah. I went for a run, got caught in a thunderstorm.” I shook my head. Why did that matter?

“Are you wet?” His voice lowered, and husky. Was he serious?

“Of course I’m wet, dipshit. I got caught in a thunderstorm.” I growled, glancing down at my singlet which was now clinging to me, “Was there anything else?”

“Come on, Kait. Let me see you. Come over tonight.” He pleaded.

I almost relented. Almost.

“I can’t. I have plans. Look, I’ll call you later, okay?” I hung up before he could respond. I didn’t have plans, but I knew what seeing him would lead to.