Chapter Twenty-One
I woke before the alarm sounded. Lying in bed, I stared at the ceiling trying to figure out if I should tell Neri or not. If I were her, I’d want to be told, but I also knew at fifteen, I’d obsess over news like this. I decided to tell her. Devon was right.
Argh. Devon. What the hell was his problem? He couldn’t be with me, that’s fine, but the whole yes/no attitude was driving me crazy. He was the first guy in a very long time to get under my skin. I thought about his dark, slightly curly hair, and those deep brown eyes that looked like melted chocolate. Then there was his smile. The way the crook of his lip lifted when he smiled made my heart lurch, and his beautiful soft, completely kissable lips...
I wasn’t sure what my feelings were toward him, all I knew was if I didn’t keep them I check, it wouldn’t take much to push me over the edge.
I hit my alarm as it rang loudly. Even though I was awake, the sound made me jump. Sighing, I climbed out of my warm bed into the cold morning. Ready or not, the day was about to start. I trudged down the hallway, wrapping my robe tightly around me.
“Hey, Neri,” I stood in the doorway to her room, “Can we talk?”
Neri looked up at me. She nodded, and continued brushing her hair. Her school uniform on, as usual, she was ready to leave with a good half hour to spare.
“Sure. What’s up?”
I sat down on the bed, and smiled. “How are you going?” I asked casually. She shrugged.
“I’m okay,” Her face broke out into a smile, “I’m looking forward to seeing Jeremy tonight.” I could hear the excitement in her voice.
Shit. I had forgotten about the party.
“How are you coping with your mom’s disappearance?”
Neri’s smile faded. Her green eyes filled with sadness, making me regret bringing up the topic. Maybe keeping her in the dark was the best thing for her? Regardless of how mature she was, she was still only fifteen.
“I’m okay.” She finally said, “It’s hard. I get sad a lot.” I reached for her hand and squeezed it. “Have they heard anything?” Her voice sounded so hopeful, so vulnerable.
“Neri, they have found something.” My voice cracked as I saw the hope in her eyes. She was hoping for good news, and all I had was this piece of information that may or may not be bad news. “The police found some blood in your mom’s car. Not much, and it could be from anything. A blood nose from months ago, even.”
Neri was silent. She put down her brush. Through the mirror, I could see tears in her eyes. “Why do you do that?” she asked suddenly.
“Pardon?” I had no idea what she was talking about. Had I missed something here?
“You talk like she’s not your mother. Just then, you said your mom. Not our mom.” Neri looked at me, waiting for an answer.
I started defending myself, then I stopped. I did do that.
I always separated myself from my mother whenever I could. Especially when talking about her disappearance.
Was it easier for me to support Neri and Sam with her being gone if I could exclude myself from the situation?
“I don’t know,” I eventually said, “I don’t know.”
“Kait, I didn’t blame you. For what happened with dad.” I looked up at Neri, shocked.
She didn’t?
All of her behavior towards me the entire year before I left suggested otherwise. “I was angry. I was angry at him, and I didn’t know how to show that. So I ended up directing that anger at you.”
“You weren’t angry at me? I was sure you hated me.” I said softly. Neri shook her head, climbing onto the bed with me.
“He had started paying more attention to me. I knew what he was doing to you, and I didn’t try to stop him.” She sobbed softly as she avoided my eye contact.
“Neri!” I took her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. “You were eleven! It was my job to protect you,” I whispered, “It was mom’s job to protect both of us.” We hugged each other, until Sam came to see why we hadn’t come for breakfast.
“Oh, cool!” He yelled, racing to the bed and invading our hug. I laughed, feeling better than I had in a long time.
Though I didn’t have a Lit lecture today, I was nervous about running into Charlie on campus. Following my class, I decided to stop in for a coffee at The Angry Bean, the café just off campus.
Caffeine had become a necessary part of my life lately, and today was no exception. No wonder I struggled to stay asleep when I eventually did get to sleep.
I ran over my conversation with Neri in my mind. Hearing her say she wasn’t angry with me was a huge thing. A thing that left me feeling even guiltier than before about not being around for them the last few years. If I’d just swallowed my pride and gone to see them, maybe I wouldn’t have missed out on so much of their lives.
“Kaitlin?” I knew that voice. My stomach filled with anxiety. I looked up, right in time to see Charlie join me at my table. “Do you mind?” He asked, already sitting. I shrugged, his presence intimidating me even more so since our night together.
Every time I thought about us, together, I cringed. The worst thing was, on some level I’d enjoyed the feeling I’d felt when I was with him. That scared me.
“Hi,” I forced a smile, not quite meeting his eyes, “Fancy running into you here.”
His raised eyebrows suggested the opposite, as did the knowing look in his eyes. I couldn’t shake the crazy feeling that he’d followed me here. I chastised myself for being paranoid. Maybe I really was going crazy.
“Yes, well, I suppose you’d get that, being at the same college and all.” He nodded, chuckling. I smiled faintly.
“Are you working tonight?” He raised his eyebrows again, just in case I didn’t get his meaning from his tone. I got it.
I nodded, “I am.” A smile slowly spread across his face.
“Well, I might see you later. I guess I had better get home.” He said, standing up.
To your wife, I wanted to say. Instead, I smiled.
I had no doubt I’d see him later, and I couldn’t deny the rush I felt run through my body.
F*ck Devon. I didn’t need him.
“And then they brought out a snake!” Sam howled with laughter as he showed me how some of the girls in his class had reacted to the snake by jumping on the coffee table and shrieking. I grinned. It sounded like animal day had been a success at kinder.
“Sound like you had a blast, Sambo.” I ruffled his hair as he continued on with his story.
“Kait?” I turned to see Neri standing in the doorway. I gasped. She looked stunning. Dressed in tight dark jeans, black knee high boots, and a purple top, she looked older than her fifteen years. Her blonde hair, as it hung straight down her back, looked striking against the purple
“Do I look okay?” She asked, her eyes filled with uncertainty. She had no idea how truly beautiful she was.
“You look beautiful, Neri. Stunning.” Neri blushed, a smile creeping across her face. “What time is he picking you up?” I asked, glancing at my watch.
“Nine,” She came over and hugged me, “Thanks for this, Kait.”
“For what?” As far as I knew, I hadn’t done anything.
“For trusting me enough to go out with Jeremy.”
Oh. That.
That had been a hard thing to act cool about. I remember how I’d been at fifteen, and more to the point, I remember how boys had been at sixteen. However, I also knew that Neri was an extremely smart girl who had very high aspirations, who wouldn’t do anything stupid enough to jeopardize those plans.
“I trust you because you are mature enough to understand what you want.” I replied earnestly. Neri smiled. Her nerves became more apparent as the doorbell rang.
“Do you want to meet him?” She asked, shyly.
Hell yes I did.
She wasn’t going anywhere until I met him. I nodded a simple yes.
Neri sprinted to the door, Sam and I at her heels. Even Ara was poking her head around the corner to catch a glimpse of Jeremy.
“Neri, you look hot.” Jeremy breathed. Neri certainly had good taste. If I’d been five years younger this young man would have me in a puddle on the floor too.
It took Jeremy a moment to notice that more than just Neri stood at the door. His demeanor changed to guarded. He eyed me, unsure of what to make of me.
“Jeremy, this is my sister, Kait. And you know Sam.” Jeremy put his hand out. I took it and smiled at him.
“I’ve heard a lot about you, Jeremy.” I smiled, he visibly relaxed at my friendliness.
“All good, I hope.” He made a face, “Nice to meet you, Kait. I’ve heard a lot about you too. Neri speaks about you all the time.”
She does? I Glanced at Neri. Her eyes were firmly on Jeremy. It was like we weren’t even there.
Ah, young love.