“What’s not to be scared of? They have eight legs! Who the hell needs eight legs? That’s not right, it’s abnormal.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Hell, I had missed her. It had only been three days since I had last seen her, but that three days had felt like a lifetime. As unexperienced in relationships as I was, I had no idea if that was normal or not. The thought of being with Andi felt much easier than not being with her. I had no idea how I was going to get this girl out of my system.
*
My father loved Andi. He hadn’t said as much, but he didn’t need to; I could see it in the way he couldn’t stop smiling at her and the way he kept giving me a nod of approval. I could almost hear the cogs turning in his brain. I just knew that Mom would be calling tonight, inviting the two of us to dinner. We would be as good as married in a week.
“Wow, they’re beautiful,” Andi murmured as she took in the framed photos of some of the Manhattan buildings we had restored. A professional photographer had taken them, highlighting the delicate and subtle touches that made our restorations sit apart from the rest. When Steele Structures took on a building to restore it to its former glory, we tried to keep as true to the building’s original origins as possible, respecting the building’s history and unique appearance. We always added our own flare and finishing touches to incorporate the strength and brilliance that the New York skyline had to offer, but each and every project was treated as its own, separate from the rest, to give the building its own distinctive appearance.
“We missed your building though,” said Dad as he leaned against his desk. “I’m surprised Decker overlooked that opportunity. We’ll have to look into the street and see if there is anything else for sale.”
Andi’s gaze darted to mine. “You work with your dad?” she asked, shocked.
Before I could answer, Dad laughed loudly. “That’s Decker for you, far too humble. He owns half this business. We’re equal partners. If it wasn’t for him, Steele Structures wouldn’t have been born; he fronted the money to get it off the ground.”
Andi’s face was full of understandable confusion.
“Okay, well, thanks for the tour, Dad. We gotta get going.” I all but dragged Andi back to the car. With a final wave, we drove out of the parking lot and headed back to the city.
“I guess you must really enjoy it,” Andi said after a short silence. “I mean, you obviously have a good thing going with your dad, but you still do the adult film stuff, so, you must really have a passion for it. That’s really admirable, Decker. If everyone could have a job that they liked that much, I think people, in general, would be much happier.”
I went to say yes, I did enjoy it and it was a passion, but I hesitated. Saying such a thing felt automatic, like an ingrained response that came from my head and not my heart. At one time, I did love my work, but something had changed long before Andi came along. The doctors had assured me it was a psychological change that hampered my performance, and the therapists confirmed their prognosis, assuring me that so long spent in an industry that required such a massive ignorance of my emotions was damaging me from the inside out. The more I really thought about it, the clearer it became. I didn’t enjoy my work anymore. Yes, I found comfort in something that was familiar, and I enjoyed the physical connection with the women. It was safe. No heavy emotional attachments but I still received the sexual stimulation and friendship I needed. I liked the reputation I had earned in the industry. I liked the celebrity status. Until now, now it all seemed insignificant and I wanted something more. I wanted to feel my heart beat for a woman; I wanted the powerful draw to someone; I wanted to feel what my parents felt, that unconditional love and acceptance of one person. I had been living a dream, where I thought I was the man every man wanted to be, when in fact, I was alone and unfulfilled. I had some time up my sleeve to explore this…thing with Andi. Four weeks to open my heart and see where things led. Four weeks before filming on The Bishop’s set began. Four weeks to shove twelve years of avoidance and emotional detachment aside. Just thinking about it felt therapeutic.
“I want to experience the real New York.” Andi’s voice pulled me from my epiphany. “I haven’t seen the city yet. I want to get out and do something fun, see something only real New Yorkers know about.”
My eyes did an involuntary perusal of her dress and boots. Not too dressy, but good enough. I gave her a wink when she arched a brow my way.
“One true New York experience coming up.”