thirty-four
AS A CHAIR WAS BROUGHT ONSTAGE FOR KELLI, SHE didn’t even try to hold back her emotion. Brian had written a love song for her? And included it on his album for the world to hear? She couldn’t keep her hands still as she sat. These last few weeks, she’d begun to wonder if he cared about her—even as her own feelings grew, though she’d barely admitted it to herself. It was too much to process.
As she focused on the first lines of the song, as the melody entered her soul, she couldn’t keep it together. It was absolutely beautiful, Logan crooning the chorus that let her know she was cherished.
Brian rapped the verses partially facing the crowd but mostly facing her. She stared at him through her tears, hanging on every word, words penned specifically for her. He’d written them in such a way that a listener could think of them as God’s love, but Brian had already said it . . . this was dedicated from him to her.
Logan sang the last part of the song, and when it ended, he hugged her and left the stage. Kelli was about to stand, but Brian motioned for her to remain where she was. He lowered himself to one knee, and the crowd went wild.
“Brian . . .” she said. It was all she could say.
He reached inside his jacket, pulled out a velvet box, and opened it. Kelli closed her eyes, trying to grasp what was happening.
“Can I please have quiet?” Brian asked the crowd.
Suddenly one could hear a pin drop.
“Kelli London . . .”
She opened her eyes again, and they locked immediately with Brian’s.
“. . . you are the best friend I could ever ask for, the best collaborator I could ever work with, and the only woman I want to spend my forever with on this earth. I love you, Kelli. Will you marry me?”
Marry him? He was asking her right here to marry him?
Someone eased onstage to hand her a microphone. She held it, her eyes sweeping the crowd. It was so quiet, everyone awaiting her answer. She gulped, looking at Brian again.
“I honestly doubt there’s anyone else on this earth I’d rather spend my life with, Brian . . .” She gazed downward and finally brought her eyes back up to meet his again. “But a short while ago, we weren’t even speaking. I’m not saying no. I just need time . . . to wrap my mind around this, around us . . . to be . . . sure.”
Low murmurs sounded throughout the crowd as Brian closed the velvet box and stood, avoiding her gaze. Kelli wished the crowd would all disappear, that she could talk to him further, alone. She was moved to her very core by what he’d done, and she hated to do this to him. But they’d barely been in touch lately. What was he thinking?
She rose from the chair and turned to leave the stage, but when she glanced at Brian, she couldn’t. She took his hand and led him center stage.
“This evening has been so incredible,” she said, speaking into the mic. “Your presence, your enthusiasm, your feedback on the songs—all of it far surpassed our expectations. But please, I don’t want you to leave with the impression that my response just now is any reflection on Brian. In fact, my admiration of him just went through the roof. It’s just, to me, marriage is a lifelong commitment, and I need to be sure of my own heart.”
Kelli gripped his hand still. “I want you to leave knowing that this man is the real deal. He loves the Lord, and he loves this music ministry. He didn’t tell you this, but he recently gave up a personal ambition to attain a PhD in biochemistry because he felt this was God’s calling on his life.” She turned toward him. “Brian Howard, to me, you are the most special guy on the planet—and we could even say you’re out of this world.”
Brian and Kelli embraced, and the crowd whistled and cheered again. Their music played over the speakers as they left the stage and people began leaving. They took more pictures and heard more stories, but Kelli still couldn’t wait to get him alone. They needed to talk.
THAT MOMENT CAME HOURS LATER AS KELLI AND BRIAN stole away to an all-night diner. They placed their order, handed the menus to the server, and stared at one another across a small booth.
“Brian,” she began, “what were you thinking, asking me to marry you like that? It’s not like we’d been seeing one another. For all I knew, you were dating Monica.”
“Monica?” Brian looked hurt, frustrated. “I told her months ago that I couldn’t pursue a relationship with her . . . because of you.”
“Well, how would I know that? You weren’t pursuing a relationship with me either.”
Brian sighed. “I went about things the wrong way—obviously. After spending so much time together on this album, I knew, Kelli. I knew I wanted to spend my life with you. But I thought if I pursued you outright, if I told you I’d fallen in love with you all over again, you’d turn and run. So I asked God to pursue you for me.”
“What?”
“Well, deep down, I kind of thought you might be falling for me again too. But I thought you’d be afraid to trust me, given what I did. So I prayed for God to knit our hearts together again. And I don’t know . . . when ‘Cherished’ came together the way it did, I got excited about this idea of surprising you with the song and a proposal in front of everyone—which I thought was from God.” He sighed again. “I made such a fool of myself.”
Kelli reached for his hand across the table. “Your prayer was answered, though.”
“Which one?”
“For God to pursue me for you and knit our hearts together. Even though we haven’t talked much the last couple of months, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” She stared into his eyes, wondering how much of her heart to reveal. She decided to trust him with it. “It became clear to me that . . . I’d fallen in love with you again.”
Emotion filled Brian’s eyes. “When you didn’t say it onstage, I thought . . .”
“I don’t know why I couldn’t say it. Part of me was still holding back, I guess. But I do, Brian. I love you. I wonder if I ever really stopped.”
He grabbed her other hand, and they lingered that way a few moments. “So what now?” he asked finally. He glanced at his coat pocket with a sheepish look. “I’ve still got this ring.”
Kelli smiled. “I’m excited, actually. I’m looking forward to enjoying our friendship again, enjoying you again . . . allowing our love to grow.” She squeezed his hand. “I think we’ll know what to do about that ring in God’s time.”
Brian looked at her. “I felt so low on that stage. I wanted to be celebrating our engagement tonight.” He paused. “But I feel like we’re celebrating something just as special—our love. And that’s a gift I thought we’d never have again. I’m thankful, Kel.”
“Me too.”
He got the sheepish look again. “God’s time?”
“God’s time.”
He sighed. “But I’ve never been crazy about those ‘wait on God’ verses.”