thirty-two
THE WIND HAD DEFINITELY GONE OUT OF KELLI’S SAILS.
After working so intensely with Brian on the album, she’d hardly seen him the last three weeks. After the funeral he’d had successive weekend concert dates around the country, and during the week he’d been busy with one thing or another related to the album release. They’d gotten together for the taping of the Choices video—which left everyone on the set speechless—but he pretty much disappeared again when it was over. After the fun days at Six Flags and the youth picnic, she’d thought they’d fall into a routine of spending time together like the old days. Now she found herself feeling deflated.
And downright sad.
“Heather, you’re actually moving?”
They were back at the Cheesecake Factory, just the two of them.
Heather sliced into her strawberry cheesecake. “I know. I’m sad and elated at the same time. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. But it’s not like we’ll never talk.”
“I know I should be thrilled for you—and I am—but it’s happening so quickly.”
“I would’ve been moving right about now anyway, if the Peyton Vine thing had come through.”
Kelli looked at her. “I’m still bummed about that. I had such high hopes.”
“Well, you know it took me awhile to get over it. I could see myself on that stage with her. But it was like God had a cushion ready for my fall—Ian and Becky and their kids.”
“That’s for sure.” Kelli forked up some chocolate mousse cheesecake. “And a spot on the youth worship team.”
“You know what’s funny?” Heather asked. “After singing with a nationally known choir at Living Word and auditioning for Peyton Vine, I never would’ve thought I’d end up in youth worship at a much smaller church in Normal, Illinois. And yet, I’m excited.”
Kelli smiled at her. “We’ve been praying for a church home for you. Didn’t know God would give you family to boot.” She gave a dramatic sigh. “So when do you leave?”
“Stop that.”
Kelli laughed.
“I’m giving myself about two weeks.”
“Two weeks?” Kelli set her fork down and leaned back on the cushion. “Wow.” She came forward again suddenly. “What about the album release party? You’ll come back for that, won’t you? It’s a Saturday, October 28th. The album releases the following Tuesday.”
“I hope so. But I know one thing. I’m downloading my copy on iTunes when the clock strikes midnight.”
“You’ll already have your copy.”
“I’m buying it anyway, for support.”
The server refreshed Kelli’s decaf, and she added cream and sugar. She glanced up at Heather. “Have you told Logan?”
Heather’s eyes went to her cheesecake. “He knew it was a possibility, but I only told the church yes this afternoon.” She looked up. “It’s Thursday, though.”
“I think it’s so cute that you two still sing together after choir rehearsal.”
“Yeah.” Heather glanced downward. “I’ll definitely miss that.”
“What about Logan? Think you’ll miss him?”
She angled her head downward. “He’s my closest friend besides you. But we could’ve been separated either way. He’s still waiting to hear from that church in Florida.” She sighed. “We’ll have the phone, e-mail, and all that.”
“Won’t be the same, though.”
“No. Won’t be the same.” Heather pushed the remains aside. “I’m stuffed. So what about you and Brian? How are things?”
Kelli raised a brow. “There is no ‘me and Brian.’”
“From what I could see, you two had gotten kind of close by the time the album wrapped.”
Kelli shrugged. “Might’ve seemed that way because of the pressure of the deadline, but now that it’s passed, we’re each doing our own thing.”
Heather eyed her. “How do you feel about that?”
“You had to go digging, didn’t you?”
“I try to do my part.”
Kelli took another sip of coffee. “Not sure how I feel about it. I went from hating him to tolerating him . . .”
“To enjoying him again?”
Kelli gave a reluctant nod. “Crazy, huh?”
“No. You’d be crazy if you didn’t. Everybody loves that guy.”
“Kind of like everybody loves Logan?”
“Touché.” Heather gave a slight smile. “Funny how Brian and Logan have become good friends, isn’t it? Think they ever sit around talking about us?”
“Those two?” Kelli shook her head. “Music and sports.”
THE MOMENT HEATHER SAW HIM, HER HEART LET HER know—she would miss Logan more than she knew. She slow-walked the aisle, listening to him play, watching the movement of his fingers, hearing his heart. He poured so much of himself into his music, into this ministry. Had she ever told him how much she admired that?
She sat by him on the bench, and their smiles and shoulder bumps said hello. When he reached the end of the song, he started into their favorite chorus.
He sang the first line. “His grace and mercy have covered you, you’re not the same . . .”
She sang the next line with him, but she couldn’t continue. Emotion filled her lungs.
He paused. “You okay?”
She touched his arm. “Please. Keep playing.”
The words took her through her moments with Logan, from the Indy hotel to the family arena to every other time she’d ever seen him—each one a demonstration of his special care of her.
He turned toward her when he finished. “You’re moving to Illinois, aren’t you?”
She nodded, staring at the piano. They sat in silence.
He looked at her again. “It’ll be awesome . . . getting to know your family, leading those kids in worship.”
“Yeah, except they’ll probably be leading me.”
“So.” He cleared his throat. “When do you leave?”
“About two weeks.”
Silence swallowed the seconds again.
“I’ll miss you, Heather.”
She met his gaze, fresh tears on her lids. “I’ll miss you too. Thank you, Logan, for everything you’ve done for me. You’ve been an amazing friend.” She added quickly, “Not that this is goodbye—I mean, it’s good-bye in some ways, but it doesn’t mean our friendship has to end. I really hope . . . I hope it continues.”
“Me too.”
“You don’t sound too confident.”
“I’m a realist. It’s not easy to maintain a friendship across the miles. But I do hope it can continue.”
Why did Heather feel like her heart was breaking? They were just friends, for goodness’ sake. But she couldn’t stop crying.
Logan put an arm around her shoulder, and she leaned into him, allowing her head to find his chest. “Normal’s not far,” she said, “and besides, we’ll have the next two weeks together.”
He nodded against her hair. “And we have right now.”
She reached for his hand and clung to it, remembering Cyd’s words a few weeks ago about accepting God’s will and God’s timing. She really did feel He was leading her to go to Normal, but she also couldn’t imagine life without Logan. Was it just a matter of timing? Or was this more of a good-bye than she was ready to admit?