A Christmas Bride

CHAPTER FIVE

KAYLEEN HAD ALMOST been kissed once in her life, on a date with a young man in college. He had been nice enough, but she was so inexperienced that just being around him had made her nervous. At the end of their awkward evening, he’d moved in for a kiss and she’d bolted for the safety of her dorm room.

But there was no bolting from As’ad. With his arms around her, she had nowhere to go. Not to mention the fact that she didn’t want to run.

She’d wondered about kissing, had wondered if she was the last innocent in a world where even twelve-year-olds seemed to know more about men and sex than she did. She’d wondered how it was possible to enjoy someone being so close, pressing his mouth against hers. Worse, using his tongue in some intimate way.

Would she feel trapped, uncomfortable, violated?

The short answer was no, she thought as As’ad moved his mouth gently against hers, teasing, caressing, but not taking. Even though his arms were around her, she didn’t feel trapped. Instead she felt protected and wanted.

The wanting was new, as was the odd hungry sensation inside of her. She needed to be closer, although she couldn’t say why.

She put her hands on his shoulders, feeling the strength and heat of him. As’ad would keep all in his world safe, she thought, distracted by the pressure of his lips. It would be nice to feel safe.

She inhaled the masculine scent of him, liking the fragrance. She enjoyed the feel of his body so close to hers. She grew bolder and slipped her arms around his neck, bringing her front in contact with his.

He increased the pressure of his mouth on hers. His strong hands traveled up and down her back. When he stroked his tongue against her bottom lip she gasped in shock, then felt the soft, erotic touch of his tongue against hers.

Fire shot through her. The unexpected heat made her tremble as she almost expected to go up in flames. Sensations exploded everywhere, especially in places that were usually without them. Her breasts ached in a way they never had before. Her legs felt funny—trembly and weak. She stood frozen, unsure, awkward, yet willing him to keep on kissing her.

Fortunately As’ad seemed more than capable of reading her mind. He explored her mouth with his tongue, making her tingle and want to lean into him. She ached, but couldn’t say for what. She clung to him, and at last, tentatively, slowly, carefully, touched her tongue to his.

A low, masculine groan burst from him. The sound filled her with a sense of sensual power she’d never experienced before. She touched his tongue again and felt a reaction in her own body. A clenching. A wanting. A hunger.

She let herself get lost in the touching, the intimate kiss. It was heaven. She could do this for hours. She liked how her body turned to liquid. She liked everything about kissing him.

But instead of reading her mind again, he put his hands on her shoulders and eased her away from him.

What?” she breathed.

Perhaps another time,” he said calmly. “When we are alone.”

Alone? What was he...

Kayleen bit her lower lip and turned her head. While much of the village had gone about their business, there were still several obviously interested people observing their kiss. As she looked at them, they grinned. A couple waved. A few of the women laughed knowingly.

Now no one will question that you are mine,” he told her.

* * *

THEY ARRIVED BACK at the palace shortly after ten. Kayleen met Lina in the suite she, Kayleen, shared with the girls.

We’re back,” she said. “Thanks for staying with them.”

It was fun,” Lina told her. “So how was your evening?”

Kayleen did her best not to blush, although she could feel heat on her cheeks. “It was fine. Good. I really liked meeting everyone in the village. They’re wonderful people. Dinner was good. They let me help a little with the cooking. Everyone was friendly.” She realized she was babbling and pressed her lips together, then blurted, “Nothing happened.”

Lina slowly raised her eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

Nothing happened. With As’ad. In case you were, you know, wondering. Nothing happened.”

I see.” Lina smiled. “You’re protesting an awful lot, especially when you consider I never asked if anything happened.”

Oh.” Kayleen shifted. She needed to stop talking now or Lina would find out about the kiss. Not that Kayleen regretted it—on the contrary, it was a delicious secret she wanted to keep to herself.

Lina waited another few seconds, then walked to the door. “I’ll see you later, then.”

Uh-huh. Thanks again for staying with the girls.”

Anytime,” Lina said, and then left.

When she was alone, Kayleen tiptoed into the girls’ bedroom. All three of them were asleep. She smoothed covers, adjusted the nightlight, then went into her own room. When she had shut the door behind her, she sighed with happiness, spun in a slow circle, then sank onto the bed.

She’d been kissed. Really kissed and it had been wonderful. Better than she could have imagined.

She’d liked everything about kissing As’ad...the taste of him, the heat, the way he’d held her. She wanted to kiss and be kissed again. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the sort of thing she could simply ask him to do. Worse, she wasn’t sure why he’d kissed her. Had he wanted to, or had he just been proving a point in the village? And why did it suddenly matter which?

* * *

SEVERAL DAYS LATER As’ad returned to his rooms to find Kayleen sitting at his dining table in front of a sewing machine. Fabric covered every available surface. She’d pulled over a floor lamp for additional light and didn’t notice his arrival.

His reaction was as powerful as it was instantaneous. Not about the fact that she’d once again ignored his request that she take care of all things involving the girls. Instead his body recognized the woman who had most recently brought him to his knees with a single kiss.

A virgin’s kiss, he reminded himself, still annoyed and aroused at the sight of her. What should have been meaningless, done only to prove a point, had instead started a fire within him that still burned hot and strong. He’d been hungry before kissing her—now he was starved.

He hadn’t been able to sleep for wanting Kayleen. The kiss had shown him potential where he’d seen very little. She’d felt right in his arms—all soft curves and innocence. Yet there had been heat in her, an instinctive passion that had matched his own.

The event should have meant nothing. He should have been able to walk away without thinking of it again. Instead it was all he could do not to cross the room, pull her to her feet and kiss her over and over until she surrendered. He wanted her wet, naked and begging. He wanted all of her.

She looked and saw him. “As’ad.” She smiled. “You’re back.” She stood and held up both hands. “I know what you’re going to say. This is a big mess. I’m sorry. I meant to get it cleaned up before you got home. I lost track of time.”

Her mouth. He couldn’t seem to look away from it. The shape, the hint of white teeth and nimble tongue. His brother Qadir was right—he should have gone to Paris and spent the week mindless in an unknown woman’s bed. Now the opportunity was lost. He had a bad feeling it would be some time before he could use someone else to forget the appeal of Kayleen.

What are you doing?” he asked, pleased his voice was so calm. Nothing of his turmoil must show.

Making costumes for the Christmas pageant. All three girls are in it. I want the costumes to be a surprise.”

The school will not provide them?”

I suppose they could. They asked if some of the parents could help out. I said I would. Lina found this machine for me. It’s fabulous and practically sews on its own. You should see the instruction manual—it’s as thick as a dictionary. But I’ll figure it out.”

He fingered a length of fabric. “I am sure there are employees in the palace who could do this for you.”

She looked as if he’d slapped her. “But I like sewing. Besides, it’ll matter more if I make the costumes for the girls.”

As you wish.”

I’m going to guess you’re not into crafts.”

He allowed himself a slight smile. “No.”

I learned to sew in the orphanage. I could make more clothes for a lot less. You probably don’t do anything like that here.”

We do not.”

She tilted her head and her long, red hair tumbled over her shoulders. His fingers curled toward his palms as he ached to touch her hair, to feel it in his hand, dragging along his chest, across his thighs.

Did your mother sew?” Kayleen asked, jerking him back to the present.

I don’t know. She died when I was very young. I don’t remember her.”

The light faded from her eyes. “Oh. I’m sorry. I knew she was gone. I didn’t know how old you were when it happened. I didn’t mean to remind you of that.”

It is of no consequence.”

But it’s sad.”

How can it be sad if the memory is gone?”

She frowned. “That is the loss of what should have been.”

I am not wounded, Kayleen. Share your concerns with someone who needs them.”

Because you feel nothing?” she asked. “Isn’t that what you told me? Emotion makes you weak?”

Exactly.” Any emotion. Even passion. His current condition proved that.

What about trust?” she asked.

Trust must be earned.”

So many rules. So many chances to turn people away. It must be nice to have so many people in your life that there are extras.”

She sounded wistful as she spoke, which made him want to pull her close and offer comfort.

Kayleen, who wanted to belong, he thought, realizing her concern for the girls came from having lived in an orphanage herself. She was all heart and would bruise easily in a harsh world. Their backgrounds couldn’t be more different.

It is a matter of control,” he told her. “To need no one is to remain in charge.”

She shook her head. “To need no one is to be desperately alone.”

That is not how I see it.”

That doesn’t make it any less true. There’s nothing worse than being alone,” she told him. “I’ll get this cleaned up now, and get out of your way.”

* * *

KAYLEEN WALKED THROUGH the palace gardens. While she loved the beauty of the rooms inside, they were nothing when compared with the opulence of the lush gardens that beckoned just beyond her windows.

She chose a new path that twisted and turned, and once again reminded herself that she wanted to find a book on flowers in the palace library. She’d grown up gardening, but in the convent, all extra space had been taken up with vegetables. With money tight and children to feed, the nuns had not wasted precious earth on flowers.

Kayleen plucked a perfect rose and inhaled the sweet scent, then settled on a stone bench warm from the sun. She needed a moment to close her eyes and be still. Maybe then the world would stop turning so quickly.

So much had happened in such a short time. Meeting As’ad, moving here with the girls, getting ready for the holidays, kissing As’ad.

The latter made her both sigh and smile. She longed for another kiss from him, but so far there had been no opportunity. Which made her wonder if the kiss had been as interesting and appealing to him. Maybe he’d found her inexperience disgusting. Maybe he’d been disappointed.

Did it matter? There shouldn’t be any more kissing between them. She had her life plan and As’ad had his. They wanted opposite things—she needed to connect and he claimed connection didn’t matter. She just wasn’t sure she believed him.

She heard footsteps on the path and turned toward the sound. She expected to see one of the many gardeners. What she got instead was the king.

Oh!” Kayleen sprang to her feet, then paused, not sure what she was supposed to do.

King Mukhtar smiled. “Good afternoon, Kayleen. I see you are enjoying my garden.”

I enjoy wandering,” she said with a slight bob she hoped would pass for a curtsy and/or bow. “Have I stepped into off-limits space?”

Not at all. I welcome the company. Come, child. Walk with me.”

It didn’t sound like a request.

Kayleen fell into step beside the king and waited for him to start the conversation. She was just starting to sweat the silence when he said, “Are you settled into the palace? Does it feel like home?”

She laughed. “I’m settled, but I’m not sure anywhere this magnificent will ever feel like home.”

A very politically correct answer,” he told her. “Where did you grow up?”

In an orphanage in the Midwest.”

I see. You lost your parents at an early age?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know anything about my father. My mother had me when she was really young. She couldn’t handle a baby so she left me with her mother. When that didn’t work out, I went to the Catholic orphanage, which turned out to be a great place to grow up.”

She was used to telling the story in a upbeat way that avoided making anyone feel awkward. There was no reason for the king to know that her mother had abandoned her and that her grandmother hadn’t wanted to be stuck with another child to raise. No reason to talk about what it had felt like to be left on the doorstep of an orphanage on her fifth birthday, knowing no one in her family wanted anything to do with her. King Mukhtar wouldn’t know what it felt like to never belong anywhere.

So you don’t remember your mother at all?” he asked.

No.” Which was fine with Kayleen.

Perhaps you’ll meet again one day,” the king said.

I would like that very much,” Kayleen lied, knowing it was what the king wanted to hear.

Growing up, she’d been taught that it was her duty to forgive her mother and grandmother for abandoning her. She’d made peace with what had happened, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be close now. Perhaps there were circumstances that, if explained, would help her understand. In truth, she wasn’t interested enough to find out.

So your past is the reason you were so against the three sisters being split up,” the king said.

Absolutely. They only have each other. They need to stay together.”

Because of you, they will.”

She smiled. “Actually As’ad gets all the credit. He’s the one who saved them. I’ll always be grateful to him.”

The king glanced at her. “I heard you rode into the desert and met with some of the villagers who live there.”

I did. I liked them a lot. It’s an interesting way of life. Carrying one’s roots wherever one goes.”

Most young women would be more interested in the elegant shops on our boulevards than in the desert.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I’m not much into shopping.” She’d never had the money for it to be serious sport and she doubted the stores the king spoke of had much in the way of bargains.

Perhaps As’ad will take you one day,” the king said.

That would be fun, but it’s not necessary. He’s given me so much already.”

So you like my son?”

Of course. He’s a wonderful man. Charming and kind and patient.” And a great kisser, but she wasn’t going to mention that to the king.

I am pleased to hear you are getting along,” King Mukhtar told her. “Very pleased.”