The Five Stages of Falling in Love

“That’s, um, plenty,” I promised him, trying to process that amount of food.

 

He leaned forward and in a low voice, as if it would offend the children, said, “You have a lot of kids.”

 

I suppressed a smile; he was trying to help. “Go wash up!” I reminded the kids. “And then come eat pizza!”

 

“Pizza!” They squealed, rushing off to the half-bath in the hallway.

 

Ben helped me set out paper plates and the milk. I decided to make this dinner as easy as I could. I opened the boxes to find that he’d picked a cheese, pepperoni, supreme and Thai from our favorite pizza place.

 

He somehow managed to walk in here tonight and not only save dinner, but order perfectly for us. I started to wonder if maybe he wasn’t real. Maybe he was only a figment of my imagination.

 

The kids monopolized his attention at dinner, asking him a hundred questions about his job and house, if he had a wife, why didn’t he have a wife, if he had pets, why didn’t he have pets, when would he fill the pool up again.

 

He hadn’t found the right girl yet. Lots of girls he liked, no girls he loved. Yet. My curiosity had been sated.

 

He stayed for a few minutes after we finished, helping me pick up and even wiped down the table. I shooed the kids upstairs to get ready for baths and walked him to the door.

 

“Thank you. For tonight and for the pizza.”

 

He looked down at me with a burning warmth. I felt it all the way to my toes. “I’m glad to help,” he promised. “Thank you for forgiving me for genuinely liking your sister.”

 

“You’re a very brave man to bring that up,” I warned with little real anger.

 

“I genuinely like you too.” His words shocked the hell out of me. “But I think in a completely different way than Emma.”

 

“I don’t know what that means.”

 

He grinned at me. “That’s okay with me.”

 

“Goodbye, Ben.”

 

“Bye, Liz.”

 

I watched him walk across my yard to his own. His long, confident gait ate up the distance quickly. He turned around just once more to wave at me and disappeared into his dark house.

 

I closed the front door and moved upstairs to get the kids ready for bed. I smiled through bath time and story time, thinking about how Ben probably never expected to spend the evening with us. His dinner plans were most likely vastly different than sitting at a crowded table, sharing pizza with four wild kids.

 

Just as I tucked Jace in and kissed him one last time, there was another knock on the door.

 

“What now?” I muttered to myself as I bounced down the stairs.

 

I could see Ben’s tall figure through the mottled glass. I glanced toward the kitchen wondering what he forgot.

 

“Hey,” I smiled gently when I opened the door for him. He held out a paper grocery sack. “What’s this?”

 

“I called Emma, like you wanted me to.” I rolled my eyes at his accusing tone. “She’s going to come over tomorrow morning around ten so that you can go grocery shopping alone. If you ever need a few things, I can always stop on my way home from work.”

 

“Ben, I can’t-”

 

“Liz,” he cut me off, “You have people that care about you, that want to help. Let us.” He wiggled the paper bag, so I took it from him.

 

I looked into the bag to see a gallon of milk, a box of brown sugar Pop-Tarts and my favorite K-cups. Emma must have told him my preference.

 

Tears glistened in my eyes, when I lifted my head to meet his intense gaze, “Thank you.”

 

“You’ll call me if you need anything?”

 

I nodded. Yes, I would. Ben had proved himself to be someone I could trust.

 

Someone I could rely on.

 

“Have a good night, Liz.”

 

“You too.”

 

This time I didn’t watch him walk away, I was too absorbed in the little miracle he’d left in my arms. A gallon of milk might not seem like much to anyone else, but to me it was the difference between getting through the morning tomorrow and crashing and burning in a blaze of failure.

 

He had saved me tonight.

 

And I couldn’t figure out why.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirteen

 

 

I walked in the house, arms laden with groceries. Emma sat at the kitchen island with Lucy and Jace making some kind of structure out of Duplos.

 

The kitchen had always been our most loved room. It was open and spacious, with plenty of room for my dream kitchen, an island for the kids to sit at, a table for informal dinners and a window nook for the kid’s fun table. Grady had designed this with all of my hopes and dreams in mind. The mud room walked straight out to the garage and had plenty of storage for coats and shoes, backpacks and whatever else we could pile in there. The kitchen opened up into our dining room on one side and the entry way, leading to the front door and living room, on the other side.

 

I loved walking into our house, even after the stress of the grocery store. It just calmed me. It was only one of the reasons that I would never sell this place, even though it reminded me so very much of Grady.

 

He had built this for me. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.

 

The sight of Emma at the counter with my two littlests warmed my heart. Whenever she was with them, she engaged them completely. They just ate up every bit of attention she focused on them.

 

“Ook, Mama!” Jace held up a tower of Legos. “Me did this!”

 

“Wow, J! I love it!”

 

“Auntie Emma and me are building a castle,” Luce told me excitedly. “It’s for princesses only.”

 

“It looks like a princess only palace.”

 

Lucy beamed at me and went back to her project. Emma continued to watch the kids while I brought in all of the groceries and put them away. I was amazed at the peace we maintained during the entire process.

 

I was also amazed at how relaxed I felt after only an hour to myself.

 

The grocery store had been blissfully quiet. I walked up and down every aisle slowly, savoring the freedom I had to browse and compare prices. It was a mother’s dream come true.

 

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