The Five Stages of Falling in Love

Comparable only with the illusive and annual pedicure.

 

“Are you starving yet?” I asked Emma after the last of the groceries found their home and the plastic bags had been tied up nicely and stored for whatever uses I found for them later.

 

“I don’t know. Are we starving?”

 

“Yes!” the two littles cheered.

 

I pulled out ingredients for sandwiches while they cleaned up the Legos.

 

Finally, the kids were happy with their lunch and Emma and I had a minute to talk to each other.

 

“Thanks again, Em. I needed to get out.”

 

She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the white-tiled countertop. “You could have called me. You know I want to help out as much as I can.”

 

“I know.” I let out a weary sigh. “But I already ask so much of you. I know you’re gearing up for the end of the semester. I didn’t want to add any stress.” I cleared my throat and amended, “Any more stress to your busy life.”

 

She reached out and put her hand over mine. “Stop thinking you’re a burden. I love you. I will always do what I can to help you. And I love your kids like they are my own. You guys are not extra stress. You’re my family.”

 

I turned my hand over and squeezed her fingers. “Then I’m sorry Ben had to call you. I didn’t ask him to.”

 

She pulled her hand back and waved it dismissively in the air. “I know. He told me.”

 

“When he called you.”

 

She picked up her sandwich. “Obviously.”

 

“Even though you told me he hadn’t called you yet! What is that about?”

 

Her cheeks heated with embarrassment. “I didn’t lie to you!” she blurted in a rush. “He really hadn’t called me like you wanted him to call me!”

 

“Why didn’t you just tell me that you two wanted to be friends?” Emma could be flakey when she wanted to be, but her lie still bothered me. It felt like she wanted to hide something, but I didn’t understand what or why.

 

She let out a small breath of indecision. “I don’t know… I guess it was a little humiliating. And you had such high hopes for us. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

 

“Why was it humiliating?” Blood rushed to my head and fingers, hot and ready to defend my little sister.

 

“Because it was so obvious he wasn’t into me. From the very beginning, I could tell his feelings for me would always be neutral. It messed with my vanity.”

 

I smiled at Emma. She was absolutely gorgeous with her wavy, wild blonde hair and piercing blue eyes set against perfectly creamy skin and full lips. And her nose, her stupidly cute and adorable nose was so much smaller than mine. She hadn’t experienced a whole lot of rejection in her life.

 

“I’m pretty sure your vanity is going to be okay.”

 

She grinned at me. “I met someone in the library over the weekend. He’s taking me out tomorrow night.”

 

I rolled my eyes. “I’m glad you’re defining your self-worth by the number of guys that ask you out.”

 

She snorted into her sandwich. “My self-worth is just fine. But a little attention from the opposite sex doesn’t hurt.”

 

“So what’s up with Ben? Do you think there’s something wrong with him?” I bent nearly in half to plop my chin in my hand. There had to be something wrong with him if he didn’t like my sister. Right?

 

Emma tipped her head back and laughed before leaning over to lay her cheek on the top of Jace’s head. “There is nothing wrong with him! But I love your loyalty.”

 

“Okay, but he’s thirty-five years old and doesn’t even have a serious girlfriend. Plus, you said he wasn’t interested in you from the start. He eats his fingernails or something. I know there is something wrong with him.”

 

“That was part of it I think. He’s thirty-five. I’m twenty-six. That gap between us is pretty big. It might work for some people, but right now he and I are just too different. He looks at me like a kid sister.”

 

I frowned. “I didn’t think about that, the age difference I mean. I guess you are in different stages of life.” I let out a long sigh and forced my loyalty to accept that reason. “But still, he’s a catch. He should have found somebody by now.”

 

“He is a catch,” she said thoughtfully. “We had a really nice time hanging out. I definitely like him.”

 

“There has to be something. What about weird tics? Did he chew with his mouth open? Not a good tipper? Did he check out other girls all night long?” When she wrinkled her nose at me, I cried, “Come on! I need dirt.” It bothered me how many questions I had about Ben. But it also bothered me that Emma had been on a date with him and seen this side of him I never had. We had only known each other a couple of months, but there was something about him that made me feel comfortable to count him as one of my friends.

 

And ever since Grady died, those had been very few and far between.

 

Well, basically just Emma.

 

I had other friends before Grady passed away, but over the past ten years of our marriage my close friendships had more or less dissolved into casual ones. We all had families to take care of now and the time we made for each other had lessened year after year.

 

Sure, there were still girls I could talk to, but since Grady’s funeral, I had pretty much been a weepy mess of a human. Nobody wanted to deal with that or listen to how hard things were for me now. I knew most of my friends were afraid to even bring Grady up. And I was too apathetic about those shallow friendships to care.

 

If I didn’t have Emma though…

 

I couldn’t even think about that.

 

“Honestly, I think he’s interested in someone else.” Emma sounded completely perplexed.

 

“He’s never mentioned anyone to me,” I told her. I was a little surprised too. If he had his eyes on someone else, why had he agreed to go on a date with Emma?

 

Her eyes narrowed a bit and her eyebrows bunched together. “I think it’s you, Lizbeth. I think he likes you.”

 

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